• Member Since 12th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen June 19th

Crystalis McCloud


Sequels1

E

He didn't deserve another chance after what he did, but he got one. He got the forgiveness he never expected, from the last pony he ever expected to get it from. In gratitude to her, he writes her a letter, thanking her and her friends for everything.

His mind and heart laid bare both to himself and those who read it. He has the freedom he truly wanted.

But you know what? Just a letter isn't enough. No, he must tell her himself.

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Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 42 )

I lke the theory of Discord being Starswirl and an old friend of Luna and Celestia :pinkiehappy:

4394233 Well Starswirl was ubdoubtedly at least a little close with them. But considering what we DO know about Starswirl, I am under the impression that if he did have friends, they were few, and the bonds weren't as strong as they could have been.

4394233
Discord being Starswirl is a very popular theory.

4394279 Yeah, a very popular theory. It's just nice to have some method to that theory rather than blind shoehorning of it.

4394233
4394239
This is my new headcanon.
Also, Discord can then tease Twilight for dressing up as him for Nightmare Night.

4394466 Hurray! Shaping headcanons is a proud achievement for me. Let all join me in my insanity. :pinkiecrazy:

4394466 Dress up?
Pfftt casual level.
He can transform into him! :pinkiecrazy:

4394581
>Was talking about Twilight, not Discord...

4395318
Oh. My mistake :twilightblush:

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4395337
Well he could tease her by transforming into her cosplaying as him. That could be amusing if someone played it right.

"I only associated with a handful of other ponies, and one very special friend from a distant land," he kept on going. He watched the wheels in Twilight's head start to turn as the inconsistencies piled. "I even had a wonderful apprentice that went on to do great things herself. However, my passions were the undoing of those connections."

The funny thing is, this line works just as well for Discord being Q as it does for him being Starswirl. The "one very special friend from a distant land" could easily be Picard instead of Scopan while with some tweaking, the "wonderful apprentice that went on to do great things herself" could fit the Lady Q from "The Q and the Grey" episode of Voyager just as much as Clover.

4496487

... That's right peeps, I'm freaking genius without even trying. :moustache:

I always considered Discord being Q because of this:

http://fav.me/d7a7pw6

And how many expected him to celebrate his powers being restored in a way similar to this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke_AkJC92IA

:pinkiehappy:

4594250
Au contraire mon Princess,
Heees back!

You know you got onto Equestria Daily right? Just putting that out here. Great job. :scootangel: *sends story to read later list*

Now that is a headcanon I can get behind. I almost like it more than the Starswirl-is-Sombra theory.
I don't know how, but you have captured the spirit of Discord absolutely perfectly.:raritystarry:
Looking forward to your next work. Chalk up another fan!
Bravo.:moustache:

You don't understand how much I LOVE TWICORD FANFICS!!!!
THANK YOU :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

This was great! You have Discord's character down to a science! (Is that the right way to put it? I'm tired.)

Anyhow, you got the character's personalities perfect!:pinkiehappy:

Okay, I'm going to force myself to finish regardless, but I'm taking a moment to say that normally I would give up reading a story that was this tell-y.

Plus, I found a doublepsace you might want to nix:

Hearing all this from Discord, Twilight felt all the more lucky to be where she was today <> and have the friends she did.

Also, you might want to change the hyphens (-) to dashes (' – ' or '—').


EDIT: Overall, a bit flat. Not a great deal of characterisation or immersion for the presentation of what is really a single idea. It's not bad, certainly, but the quality of the prose held it back by a lot.

4597841
I can understand your complaints, definitely, and I appreciate the criticism. Still, I understand how simple this little story is, and I did from the very moment I wrote it. I was aware of what I was doing with it from the get go, and I accomplished with it what I wanted. I know its flaws, but I wouldn't change them for anything, to be honest (aside from the spelling and such ones that it had, of course.)

I hope you at least managed a little enjoyment out of it despite the flaws, as I had a lot of fun writing it.

4598817 Sometimes simple ideas are the best, but it has been my experience that in order to carry them off a more complete experiences they tend to require a higher degree of immersion.

On the simplest level, that can just be writing excellence, but, since we're a fanfic community, it is more common to ramp up the emotional investment or throw in a curve ball to distract the reader from the simplicity of the idea. To play it straight you have to be an exceptional storyteller because errors, distractions, and inconsistencies show up so much more than in longer character-pieces. I think it's only right to give ourselves a bit of a break for not being geniuses, but I wouldn't let that be a reason to lie about my honest reaction, either.

So I can't really say how much I might have enjoyed it if I could have been more immersed in it, but I don't tend to hold back when I really dislike something, so the fact that I don't have any complains about the plot itself generally speaks volumes. I hope that doesn't feel too much like a backhanded complement, but I'd be lying if I tried to reach further than that.

4598870 Oh no, I completely understand and appreciate it. I can't expect everyone to enjoy what I write and how I write it. If I can get even the most critical person to give it a passing "alright", then I feel I've done a pretty good job. Everyone has their own preferences.

Though I did plan for a much more complex experience whenever I get around to the sequel story.

4594899
Yes, I am quite aware, and enormously pleased with it. Hurray for hard work paying off!

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4596117
Thank you, thank you my dear readers. I'm glad you all enjoyed my work. Writing Discord really is a ton of fun for me, and I'm glad that I'm able to capture him so well in the eyes and "mind's-eye" of others. I do hope I get the right inspiration for Forced Existential Alteration soon, so I can bring it to you all. :pinkiegasp: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiecrazy:

Discord is... Starswirl the Bearded?!?! :pinkiegasp: :pinkiegasp: :pinkiegasp:

Holy Celestia... you..you... absolute genius! I didn't expect that, at all!

I loved this, the emotions, the twist... everything. Have a like, a fave and since I want to read this sequel of yours sharpish my first ever follow on this site too!

Wow. Just... wow. :pinkiegasp: That was truly impressive. I can't WAIT for the sequel! :twilightsmile: :derpytongue2: :rainbowkiss:

Oh, and #SaveDerpy! :derpytongue2::derpyderp2::derpyderp1:

i... what?.... HUH... really?!!!
this,this right hear was glorious.
aside from mah book readin whitch is copious daily,i also tend to hammer through six to twelve mlp fanfics a day.
this may be hard to believe with my spelling and other rather huge errors in commenting but i have several disorders whitch make those items beyond difficult for me. frustrating to say the least for a bibliophile. anyway your discord is simply divine.
your twilight was magnificent and that little revelation was beyond shocking.
perhaps even disturbing as it just made sense.
there is no story i have faved that i have read less than three times,i have a feeling this will be reread a great deal more than that.

4600511 Yeah, that notion has been floating around for almost as long as Discord's been a character.

It really doesn't make much sense.

That was certainly a n interesting read! The redaction is impeccable (perhaps not that much, but really good), making use of fantastic and detailed descriptions. The characters fulfill their role greatly, there are no awkward moments in which you feel that one of them isn´t working well. The idea of Discord as Star Swirl is quite old and though I´m not a supporter of it (I prefer to see Discord as a force of nature with awareness) you are making it work without it looking the least forced. So, well done!

4600511
4607385

It's true, the idea of Discord being Starswirl has been around pretty much as long as Discord himself has been around. I just find that with Twilight's Kingdom, I was given a lot more material to work with to make the idea of it seem less forced. Little things that can be stitched together in just the right way to make it really work.


4616905

And I thank you greatly for your compliments on how I did the aforementioned stitching. It has been and will further be a great pleasure weaving this little tale that I have conjured. I can completely agree with why you might prefer Discord as a force of nature, though I do pose this question to you:

If Discord has always been around, spreading Chaos all over for eons, then where was he before he came to Equestria? Surely every creature the world over would know the name of Discord had he been loose on the world for that long. And why has he stayed only in Equestria? It seems to me almost like he just suddenly sprung up in Equestria at one point and had a particular attachment to wreaking chaos there rather than the world over.

But that's just the way I look at it.

4601084
4604486
Thank you kindly, my dear readers. It's encouragement like this that has spurred me on recently, and I can happily tell everyone that I am working right now on the first chapter of Forced Existential Alteration. I've gotten somewhere between one third and half of it done now, depending on how long it takes me to get to my decided stopping point, but it's gonna be one fun ride for me. I hope it will be the same for all of you.

4627476 Well, problem with Twilight's Kingdom is, we see that Scorpan and Starswirl knew each other... and this was after Discord was sealed.

Soooo, it actually completely destroyed the possibility of it being true. :twilightsmile:

4627476 Oh, a debate! Yay!:rainbowkiss: Well, we have little but speculation to talk about, but I´ll expose my points. Let´s see. We all know Discord and his fickle character. Like a spoiled brat who can have anything, Discord can ACTUALLY have anything he wishes for. Let´s suppose he was born in a different land from Equestria. During his conquests he would take over lands, plunge them into chaos, corrupt its inhabitants and have the time of his life. Alright. Then after an undetermined amount of time after the foundation of Equestria Discord poops up. He just sees it as one more land where to have fun. And then what does he find? Two serious and boring sisters who want to keep him from his amusement. How does someone as arrogant as Discord take that? Perhaps as a challenge to keep on screwing them for some longer. And then the unthinkable happens. He is defeated. He, whom have conquered countless nations before with a snap of his fingers, has been defeated and turned into stone. His ego has just suffered a severe harm. So then, after setting free, he does not only want to go back to his ways, he wants to conquest Equestria, to remember the Princesses and himself who is the best, why he will never make the same mistake ever again. That´s the reason of that fascination for Equestria. He had always had everything he wanted, and for once someone refused to give it to him, and achieved it. That is my thinking at least.

4628949
Actually, there is nothing that says Discord came before Tirek. In fact, the friendship between Scorpan and Starswirl implies that Tirek arrived within only a couple of decades of Equestria's founding. It is largely agreed that the princesses being on the flag at the end of the Hearth's Warming play is historically inaccurate since if they were around there would be no Princess Platinum or division of races.

So given that, and the fact that Discord obviously was aware of Celestia and Luna as alicorns around the time of his defeat, and clearly overpowered them, I am inclined to believe that either Tirek or another villain before him was the catalyst for their ascension.

Any way I look at it, that puts Tirek before Discord.

4630299

I definitely see no fault in that reasoning. We both have good points.

4636480 Ah, but if the Hearths Warming Play is inaccurate, then Starswirl may have actually lived long after the founding of Equestria!

As the comics clearly state now...

Anyway, we can hear Celestia's own statements on the matter in "Return of Harmony" where it seemed quite clear that she and Luna were not ruling at the time, but stepped up from somewhere to claim the Elements.

But that was Lauren's canon...

They really need to just plop down their origin story and clean up the timeline.

4636490 I like sharing headcanons :derpytongue2: In this aspect, Discord´s past, I prefer the ambiguity over clear facts. It´s much more interesting conjecturing about a character´s implications and possible origins carefully analyzing the clues the show has to offer.

Not much I can say that hasn't already been said....

So I'll just say this, thank you for your story.

5948457 Don't forget that there's a sequel right over there. *points to the sequel panel*

I really need to get back to writing chapters for that and stop focusing on my Equestria's Strife Online.... :twilightsheepish:

And thank you very much. ^.^

7351814

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I'm as excited for this as I am for getting featured on Equestria Daily!

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