Aspiring Game Maker (Which means I need to learn to write too :))
Twilight Sparkle has come down with the Feather Flu a day before The Trader Exchange at Rainbow Falls, which always requires a princess to attend to oversee the trading.
With Celestia, Luna, and Cadance having to attend to business in the Crystal Empire the day of the Exchange, their options are stretched rather thin.
That is unless a reformed chaotic god can fill Princess Twilight's position...
Page generated in 0.208 seconds
Total duration
1,004 users online
310,700 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Since nopony has written anything yet, I will go ahead:
Reading this fanfiction is like watching an alternate version of the events of this episode. The idea that Discord keeps them all busy to be able to spread his chaos is an interesting take and gives the episode fresh air.
Though, that's also where the problem of the story is:
Discords's behavior is not justified, when we think on it that nopony of them could stop him anyway if he wants to spread his chaos.
It's just not necessary for him to distract them all to spread chaos, which creates a plothole here.
Written that way that he let those things happen to Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack and Rarity simply because he can cause even more chaos with that would have worked much better for your story.
You also should get a pre-reader or check your story by yourself after you have written it down, before you publish your next story. There are many mistakes like missing words or wrong letters in it.
The term for Discord is also called "Draconequus" and not "Draconicus".
Otherwise, it's a good story and your writing style is already quite developed for your first one.
Welcome to the world of pony fanfic writing, Zztfox!
If your stories are as hilarious and refreshing as your pixel comics I will read thim with glee!
Thanks!
I do probably need a pre-reader for my next story, IF that ever happens.
I am going to try and restart Pinkie's Quest over the break, as well as keep up the pixel comics and animations.
On top of making games and working, I might only have time for a short story (MAYBE two).
Also, about the plothole, I always thought Discord limited his Chaotic-ness to keep being friends with Fluttershy. I figured if he had the Mane Six distracted, he would be able to cause quite a bit of chaos without them noticing, lessening the chances that Fluttershy would stop being his friend.
But, yeah, your idea sound solid as well :)
Discord at Rainbow Falls? This should be fun to read, reformed or norm he's probably going to cause his namesake.
uh boy not good
never break a pinkie promise! even if u lie! lets hope he knows whats coming
I read that in Twilight's voice, and now I NEED to hear her say it for real.
That was a fun read! Though I feel sorry for the book owner who actually wanted the horseshoe...