A woman gets transported to Equestria. In a strange twist, she's heterosexual. Too bad every pony in Equestria isn't.
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- Member Since 16th Oct, 2013
- offline last seen Jun 12th, 2023
aCB
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aCB
Joined 16th Oct, 2013 ·
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Can't tell if parody of MWWaHC or just immaculate timing.
~Dash The Stampede
He he, made me giggle
Meh, not bad.
4317459
It would be the timing, since I have no idea what MWWaHC is.
4317478
A link to the parasprite's blog here will tell you all you need to know about it. It was a bastardization of Equestria and has since been deleted, but there's that one called i_want_a_son_or_daughter.php or something like that that is a grand parody of it.
go forth and see how ridiculously close this is to parody!
~Dash The Stampede
4317495
Yeah, after I read the review, I can definitely see some parallels. I was just mocking HiE's in general, but the last couple of lines did fit the bestiality/homosexuality argument made in the review. It was an interesting read in any case. Thanks for linking it!
Feels strange having "Human woman" when there are expected terms for a female and male horse. Woman is only when talking about humans, unless the story is about Anthros. but even then the writer would understand that calling, for instance "Rainbow Dash a charming woman" would make reader suspect they are reading an Equestria girls fanfic and not a Mlp:fim one.
You would go out of your way to type "male penis" would you? Female Horses are mares, or fillies. and a female human is a woman.
"A woman gets transported to Equestria."
or "A female human gets transported to Equestria."
I'm not sure if you are going for A. the pony punned everybody which is, everypony, or B. Are you saying every single pony in Equestria is full or part homosexual? (If B. disregard this.)
4317587
Would I go out of my way to say "male penis"? Yes I would. On FimFiction, if there is a penis in a fic, it is just as likely to be a futa.
And I had meant to say "female human", but the words got jumbled up in my jumbled mind.
Also, the answer is B.
Sequel?
4317637 :V!
For some reason my mind forgot Futa existed...
I have a large frown on my face from the effort of deciding whether I should laugh.
4317907
...
?
4317916
Yes.
Shouldn't she be concerned that she wants a stallion? That would likely kill her.
4318045
Horses have big penises but the ponies are canonically not that big. Head canon can vary, but pretty much all of the math estimations people have made from screenshots suggest the stallions are only as tall as, from the top of the head to the bottom of the hoof, about 4'2" or 4'5" at best. Their penis is somewhere from ten inches to twelve inches, but actual horses don't push in past the medial ring, which is about halfway down. So you're looking at five to six inches at best of expected length being worked, unless the woman is willing to let them try and fit more in, and some people can manage that with practice and an interest in doing so.
Even if it were bigger, it wouldn't be that much bigger (it has to withdraw into their body, which is where it goes when it's in the sheath, and pony torsos aren't that long.) So no. It won't kill her. Not if she has a pony who is, you know, loving and gentle instead of a vicious rapist murderer. Honestly.
4318136
Thank you. I wasn't sure how to respond to that...
4318136
Ummm....
Thanks for the info, I guess?
4318146 4318157
No problem. Sorry, I really like stallion/woman and I've had some interesting conversations with Ara. Also, I've read some info and looked at all of those size charts sprinkled around the internet. That's what I've assessed, anyway.
4318136 memecrunch.com/meme/58Y6/that-s-what-you-think/image.png
cmi.memecdn.com/620/3669620.gif
4318662
Then tell me how big a pony mare's vagina is.
Although I'll concede that screenshot calculation isn't perfect, so I probably shouldn't say it's exact by saying it's canon. I'll admit that was a fault of mine. The evidence tends to extend in that direction though.
Regardless, we're talking about ponies who are sapient. If they can't fit their penis into her vagina, there are other methods of having sex. So I stand by my assessment that a conscientious and/or loving stallion isn't going to kill her.
Plus, it's a world of magic... if they ain't got spells for proportional dicks or proportional vaginas, I don't know what they've got.
4318136
Part of the reason that stallions don't go all the way is probably simple biology. I think that normally it's not physically possible for them to. With a woman, who has more flexibility in/around the pelvis, it might be possible to go much further, so any stallion with a woman would have to be extra careful that she's actually able/ready.
4319055
Ummm... yeah. Mares can control the tightness of their vagina considerably. That's how they keep it clamped shut normally, to keep fecal matter out of it when they take a dump. Winking is the process of opening and closing the thing intentionally to catch the stallion's eye.
As for women, they have flexibility, but if you're talking about my hypothesis on having say a 12 inch penis (they have short torsos, compared to an actual horse, so this is a proportional estimate based on real horse and pony penis sizes, but we'll just roll with this one), and the medial ring is about 6 inches down... Now, the human penis is on average something about 6 inches. We'll say this woman has a vagina built for taking that kind of length. If we're talking flexibility, I'm assuming it has less to do with her vagina, necessarily (other than learning how to take bigger items), and more about positioning, since more positions are possible with a magical pony than a real pony, small size or not.
I am assuming if it's a case of depth stopping them, then it's going to be the same in the mare as it is in the woman, unless you're referring to something else? I concede that positions could make a huge difference, as well as any experience with larger objects on the woman's end. Otherwise, I'm just kind of assuming the biological size is going to stop them as much as the mare's biological size would stop them.
Help me out if I'm just majorly derping here.
4319190
You kind of are derping.
What I meant was that when a stallion mounts a mare there's a point at which his knees hit her haunches and he simply can't go any deeper.
A woman has more pelvic flexibility and would find it easier to pass that point.
I think a stallion would have to be much more careful because "going too deep" would be a real issue.
Don't read the comments! I wish I didn't
4319244
So wouldn't doggy-style create the same situation?
4319339
Seems likely to me.
Some positions would probably be more dangerous than others given the different biologies. But like you said, a considerate stallion would be careful.
4319244
Also, if that's the problem... wouldn't that mean that pony mares can't have sex in any other position either? I mean, my estimation puts the mare's vagina at roughly the same size... So how does she deal with it? Unless she has a vagina that can take all of those twelve inches? But then how big is her torso? Although really, I am probably assuming a size that could be bigger than his torso. It's awkward all around.
4319423
Yeah. It really comes down to working out a solution of sorts. And I don't think it would kill her regardless, unless he was trying to. It would just be very uncomfortable if he got careless.
Lol! And what great timing too, being posted around the same time as The Mare Who Wants a Human Child.
Though I know this is a joke fic, but tell me, if the entire population of Equestria is homosexual, how do they reproduce?
4319335
Oh no! I should've believed your warning.
4319429
It's not that they can't. The equine shape is just more suited for that particular position. So yes, if ponies started trying other positions they would probably run into the same problems. It's just that a human will still find it easier to achieve most of those positions just because of basic biology.
Also, I've heard that mares are more "elastic" so they, themselves, may be in less danger.
4319456
Futa for mares, buttbabies for stallions.
It keeps getting worse!
4319010
I was simply implying that your oppinion is well stated and eloquently thought out, but because there are no hard facts on any part of this subject, the truth will remain a mystery until hard evidence of a cartoon pony's phallus size is discussed in one or more episodes of our fandoms' prefered television series.
4319010
And holy shit! Are we arguing over how big a pony's dick is?
I think we all better back off and think in our corners for a while.
4319935
4319949
Me too.
Friends?
This story delivered everything that I expected.
Have an upvote.
4319561
They're ponies with much less restrictive anatomy than a real horse, though. They can move their front limbs in ways that a true pony never could and rear up much better and dance. I'm beginning to think they might have developed a somewhat smaller penis size because of that kind of motion capability allowing more options. But who knows?
I'll grant you the elastic thing, because I've heard that too.
4319913
Sorry. I don't like the automatic assumption that it would kill a woman, thus preventing her from being with a stallion. It strikes me as somewhat prejudiced towards man/mare over stallion/woman. Of course there would be complications to either option, but I wanted to discuss that in more depth than "LOL she'll die." I'm not trying to create a fuss.
4319952
Yes. Sorry, I'm feeling moody at the moment and I just tend to be passive-aggressive.
4319981
Thank you for your upvote, sir.
Did "everything you expected" include a comment section full of speculations about horse phallus's?
4320289
You would be surprised at what I expect, good sir!
Though if there's ever a website on the Internet where the comments section might spontaneously devolve into an in-depth discussion around cartoon horse genitalia, it's this one.
This may have been the work of a drunken irishman, but I love it.
You feel stupid for writing it and I feel stupid for reading it... and getting a few laughs on it.
Nice way to kill a few minutes
This was stupid. However, in my experience, stupid comedy is the best kind of comedy.
Did you write this whole story JUST to make that joke at the end?
Yaay, a Shaggy Dog story where the whole point is no dog, and no shaggy.
Okay, this story is awesome.