• Member Since 16th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 12th, 2023

aCB


Probability that I'm currently drunk or on drugs - 63.7%

Sequels1

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A hidden storeroom has been uncovered in the Crystal Palace. Inside lay the personal arsenal of the late King Sombra. Princess Celestia entrusts Twilight with cataloging all the magic artifacts, but one object in particular draws Twilight’s attention with an eerie ferocity…

Later, when Twilight finds herself in trouble, it’s up to her friends to venture into the human world without her to try to find a cure, of sorts. Some of the Mane 6 venture into the unknown while the others stay behind. However, it seems the ones who stay behind are the ones in the most peril, as secret societies and ancient conspiracies unravel to challenge the very balance of Equestria.

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A new chapter will be released every Friday when I finish it.

Please leave questions/comments/complaints/death threats. Please? Comments make me smile and make me want to write more! :pinkiehappy:

(Cover art brutally stolen from deviant/uotapo)

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 134 )

Hmm, the grammar in this fic is sound; I can only spot one or two mistakes hiding within. I think the main reason you're getting down-voted is the main premise of the story, there are many who would down-vote this story before even giving it a look. Also, the pacing felt a bit rushed in the first chapter, though I can respect your decision to get that out of the way; just be prepared to take some flak. Now, clop and humanised stories aren't really something I like; but I'm giving your story an up-vote anyway because I can see that you've clearly put effort into it.

So, yeah, basically the main problems that I could find are pacing and the basic concept (again, probably the reason it's garnered so much hate).

I agree with Slip Kid here. The story could use a once-over for proofreading, but there's nothing egregiously wrong with it. The setup for the story is interesting, but I'm going to have to second the idea that it's probably the main premise that people are taking offense to.

Mind you, that's no reason to downvote it. If they don't like the concept, they could easily just skip over it. I'm giving you an upvote on this one because it seems well done so far, save for a couple of minor mistakes, and I think it has potential.

aCB

3413286
3413357

Well, I guess I can't help that bronies hate bipedals, but I'll work on my pacing. It's something I know I have a problem with from time to time. Thanks.

Ugh... Both mature content and a Romance tag. Usually enough to scare me off, but somehow, your story got my attention. I just have one question: Will the chapters that actually warrant the mature rating (AKA clop) be optional? As in, will there be a warning in the chapter title?
Anyway, for now, I will be watching you... :trixieshiftright:

aCB

3415120

Yeah, I'll clearly mark the mature chapters. They won't contain any story elements, so they'll be optional.
I'm writing them mostly to try to challenge myself with writing I wouldn't normally do that could challenge me and help me improve (I can imagine writing clop to be rather difficult for an asexual).
Don't worry, this fic is about the story, and that won't change.

3416051
Alright, then. I will be patiently awaiting the next chapter. :pinkiehappy:

I am liking this... it is really funny, cant wait till they find out where bacon comes from. keep it up buddy

3416051 If you need any help with the Human sex scenes, I can offer assistance there. I have had some experience writing that in the past...(nervous grin):scootangel:

aCB

3437952
Thanks, I'm glad you like it. Believe it or not, I intend to make Rainbow Dash's love of meat a whole story arc. :rainbowlaugh:

3437962
I might take you up on that. I don't usually write sex scenes. As I (think) I said below, I'm an asexual and such things really don't come naturally to me. I'm going to try to write it myself just to try to get my writing out of my comfort zone, but I'm definitely going to need someone to look over it before I publish it. It probably won't be coming for a couple weeks, though.

3438011 I have a file on Gdocs that is said story if you want to have a look over that... just PM me mate and I will see what I can do

aCB

3438493
Thanks. I'll let you know when I get to that point.

I'm confused who exactly is where?

Is it RD and AJ on Earth and everyone else at the pony world?

plz tell me I'm getting a bit confused here

aCB

3493709

Yes. AJ and Rainbow passed through the mirror. The other four are still in Equestria. Twilight is in a coma.

aCB

3493747
No problem. I'm glad you like it.

I love the story, AJ talking to herself is very well done.

Can't wait to read more of the story, please keep writing

aCB

3493977

Thank you for the compliment. I'm really glad to hear that you're enjoying it. Your comment made my day.

How much we wanna bet that the nurse is one of the bad guys?

Human-AJ smiled mischievously, “Sounds like fun. Ya plannin’ ta invite me back ta mah bed sometime?”
“What? No!” Applejack recoiled, “Ah didn’t mean ‘buck’ like that! Y’all have some serious issues. Maybe you should see a counselor, or somethin’.”
Her counterpart laughed, “Ah’m jus’ pullin’ your leg, sugarcube. No offense, but you’re not mah type.”
She breathed a sigh of relief, “Ya had me goin’ there for a minute.”

How exactly is AJ not her own type? WTF?
Anyway, awesome story! Can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy:

aCB

3618212

I believe that they discuss this shortly after, and they come to the conclusion that there's more to attraction than simply similarities in personality. (I'm probably paraphrasing; I actually have never read this story - I just wrote it. :trollestia:)

Actually, it does go deeper than that. There's also the aspect of physical attraction. Most people don't find themselves physically attractive and wouldn't sleep with someone who looks exactly like themselves (unless, as AJ said, they're particularly narcissistic). Similarities do have a way of compounding common personality flaws as well. Take AJ for example. If she were to date someone unusually stubborn like herself, that would make any issue where one of them is being stubborn and multiply the trouble it causes.

Sorry to disappoint all you AppleApple shippers out there... :applejackunsure::ajbemused:

Maybe humans were just the most attractive species on the planet. They probably think so. It’s not like any of them would be caught dead fantasizing about ponies

pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2604-Luna_saw_what_you_did_there.jpg

I KNEW IT!! HAHAHAAHAA!!!!

3631989

Now that would be telling. Spoilers, you know.

aCB

3634376

Gotcha. Don't want you spoiling the story for me. :pinkiecrazy:

Lyra. That's the cloaked figure.

So, wait...Rainbow loves herself? Literally?!?!
WTF? :rainbowhuh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

aCB

3658189

From Chapter Seven -

First of all, Ah don’ think most people would go around datin’ themselves like that. You’d have ta be some kinda narcissist

Although I don't think Applejack is going to take this one lying down... :ajsmug:

DashxDash. Well this is awkward :rainbowkiss::heart::rainbowkiss: good story up to yet. Still liking it. Can't wait for more

aCB

3658570

Thanks! I'm glad you like it. Next chapter should be out next Friday, as usual. :twilightsmile:

Is it Twilight? Is it Bonbon? I don't know, we will find out! Maybe it is Sunset? I DON"T KNOW!

aCB

3659651

Well, Fluttershy said "Don't I know you?", which means it's somebody she kind of knows, but not really.

3661297
Well yeah, thought about it as I posted, so it probably isn't Twilight.Still, the other two aren't out. Kind of.

aCB

3664660

That's a horrible thing to say about poor Appleja...

Okay, maybe. :ajsmug: But she'd never admit it, even to herself. Hopefully some asshole won't put her in a compromising situation. :trollestia:

Oh, god, Omeagle. 'Tis a traumatizing place, that's for sure - and yet my friends and I tried it anyway.

This is pretty fabulous so far, I have to admit. When Rainbow was derping around naked and walking on all fours at the beginning I was cringing and laughing like crazy, and then Filthy propositioned her :rainbowlaugh: It was both hilarious and disturbing at the same time.

Also, Appledash = :heart:

So yeah, quite enjoying this so far - thanks for sharing, and I look forward to future updates. :twilightsmile:

aCB

3675249

Thank you very much for reading my story! I really love hearing feedback so I can figure out which parts are better than others. I hope you continue to enjoy it. :twilightsmile:

Great story, are you doing a separate story with adult situations.

aCB

3680427

Yes, that's still happening. I'll put a link in the story when I write them, but it'll be a week or two before the first one comes out.

Face space! XD
That amuses me a lot more than it probably should!

This was a very interesting and enjoyable chapter I must say. Some definite progression in the human side (honestly, my favourite) but also some secrets revealed about the Kīla of Gothmog, nice. Have a moustache! :moustache:

aCB

3690891

I thank you dearly for your gift of mustache, good sir.
And thank you for your kind words. I was kind of worried this chapter would be a flop, but I feel better now. :pinkiesmile:

Leaving a game of battlefield 4 for today's part. Worth it? Hell yeah. Apple has seriously started dashing right now. I doubt that makes sense at all.

Anyway, I've read so many AppleDash fics up to date, and this is the first one where Applejack seems to find feelings for Rainbow Dash first. Usually it seems to be the reverse. So well done for taking a less taken route.

P.s-tractordash was great. I think Dash would have been disappointed with a tractor's speed

I've just realized I don't follow you yet. I'm going to go ahead and fix that now

aCB

3691229

You're right. I have no idea what you mean that Apple is dashing now. But I agree with you 100%. :rainbowdetermined2::ajsmug:

I've read maybe two or three AppleDash's where Applejack had the initial feelings (and about 20 - 30 of the opposite). Applejack usually just kind of likes Rainbow for reasons that weren't explained and frets about whether she likes her back. Eventually she confesses her feelings and of course Rainbow reciprocates them, bla bla bla. (Actually, this covers about 90% of ship fics on this site).

The one exception I can think of is The Mare of Your Dreams. If you're looking for a good AppleDash, check it out. It has Applejack initiate the feelings, but it takes a completely different angle than my story does, and has a really satisfying and intriguing bittersweet ending.

Anyway, I'm really flattered that you feel I earned your follow. I hope I won't disappoint. :twilightsmile:

“Wow. He’s so big.”
“Are ya sure Ah should be riding him?”
“Aw, he don’t mind, sugarcube. Jus’ jump up on him and give him a good slap on the ass; he’ll take over from there.”

Thank you...for making my mind go from normal to god-damned dirty.:facehoof:

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