DarkParable
Joined 26th May, 2013 ·
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...The big misunderstanding that starts it all is a sneeze?
Points for originality.
...
Don't get me wrong, the story is really nice so far...
But I'm rather disappointed in a certain group of six overgrown fillies. Seriously, why would you risk provoking what you think is a guardian by jumping it like that? Wouldn't trying to dismantle or disable it before hand make much more sense?
Granted,
in all her hot-headed glory did it, but still.
Oh good, it survived moderation this time!
4203671
Hopefully decently considering this is the first time I've sat down and wrote anything in a long while.
4203703
Arigato
Ok wow. I gotta thank everyone who's fav'd and liked this today. Seriously, pushing 30 favs in about nine-ten hours or so. So, thank you one and all. Everyone who favorited this, up voted it, or just gave it a look. You've made my day.
please please please tell me he breaks her wings please!!!!!!!
or at least they try to attack him and Fluttershy gives them the stare at the ponies not the dragon.
Good story, please continue!
Briliance
this story is good
please continue 
I approve
damn it rainbow always fucking things up and twi really? just insult it right to its face why don't cha? he was being nice and now I think it's time to cut a bitch. data2.whicdn.com/images/30105576/thumb.jpg
That was one hell of an amazing read, good job sir, you deserve a salute :)
Że co, kurwa?
4208064
I'm sorry, but I don't know what that means.
4207922
Thank you kindly
4208163 It's in Polish.
4208165
Lol, Alrighty.
Nice chapter!
Im up to him breaking rainbow wings, maybe that way she will learn something.
Rainbow being made to look like a gigantic retard, the norm for every HiE.
4208484
I wouldn't say retard... More just brash and impatient as usual.
Nice
more
This is awesome. More please
4208978
4208782
More WILL be coming. Sorry if this disappoints, but I will be taking my time about it. Rushing usually results in a load of crap that's not worth reading and I flat out refuse to give everyone something like that.
On a lighter note... Thank you for reading
4209099 Well quality over quantity is always preferred. Take your time, I apologize if I seemed demanding.
4209180
Oh not at all. Just wanted to be clear that updates will come slowly. Didn't mean to sound as if I was griping at you two.
My constructive criticism for improvement on this story would be to dilute down the purple prose a bit. The story tone is rather unnecessarily verbose without a good justifying reason for being that way. This can accidentally present to the reader a tone that comes across as stuffy and pretentious.
...
Unless of course the protagonist is actually -meant- to be stuffy and pretentious, in which case these character aspects needs to be better fleshed out in some way pretty damn quick...
4209209 Alright cool.
4209209 I wouldn't mind if you do the update once a week type thing. but if you need more time then I suppose I can wait longer. *whimpers*
Dude, tone down on the country stereotypes for AJ. That's NOT really what she sounds like.
Not really sure why you made her like that in the first place, but alright then.
Ok, this one part messed up my attempted at trying to get through this without editing. It really should be "orange".
You have my attention though.
4209551 I have to agree, her accent isn't that strong.
4209673 whoops. I do on occasion miss a character on a word or two. Old keyboard.
Don't you dare try abandoning this. I've seen your story list
. Don't you dare 
4209754
There was some punctuation errors as well, but that took the cake. Usually spell checkers get that stuff.
4209756
Wasn't planning on it o_o
4209767
They never do
4209749
Y'know, that gives me a good idea for a story. INTO THE VAULT IT GOES!
more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more morere more more more more...
Oh wait... this counts as spam. Shit.
4210257
Uhh... No worries?
I like the story idea but the writing it's self could use some work.
Wow, very good! I can't wait for the next update!
4210407
Working on that.
Um, AJ's approach to the unknown is to buck it in the face?
Reminds me of Frost Wyrms from the Warcraft universe; especially the cover.
4210491
of course!! its all species first instinct to reject the unknown with force, brutality, religious sect, war, and hooves. what else did you expect?