Interlude
“I’m telling you, Dash, just because I don’t have a coltfriend doesn't mean I’m into mares.” Twilight huffed at her friend.
“Yea right, then why were you so grabby at that last Hearth’s Warming party?” The colorful mare shot back.
“It’s true, Darling. You were so adorable cuddling up under the table like that. You made such a cute couple.” Rarity grinned mischievously. “I still have that picture we took!”
“Spike! You said you were going to destroy that thing!” the alicorn rounded on the young dragon, who jumped back in surprise.
“Well, destroy... Create a few thousand copies... There is such a fine line.” Grinning sheepishly, the purple dragon puffed out his chest. “Do you have any idea how much a signed copy goes for on eHay?”
“Signed copy?! Where the hay did you get a signed copy?” Fuming, Twilight stomped the ground.
“Really, Twi? You will sign anything when you are on one of your research benders, so long as it get’s somepony out of your face.” Grinning, the drake turned and raised his claw for a high hoof, which was returned by a giggling Rainbow Dash.
“Come now Darling, you can’t deny you didn't want it to some degree.” Rarity schmoozed up to her frazzled friend. “You know what they say, a drunken mare’s mouth speaks the sober mare’s mind!”
“Oh come on, I was drunk! I must have mistaken her for a large plushie or something.” The princess of Friendship huffed and crossed her hooves.
"Ya musta been really drunk to ever mistake Dash’s scrawny body for anything plush. There ain't an ounce o’ cushion on her.” Applejack snarked, getting a blush in response from both mares in question.
“Look who’s talking, miss muscle freak! At least I’m all lean sinew and streamlined awesome.” Dash rose to the bait. “I’m not some muscle headed walking steroid factory!”
“Hell, Ah cain’t help it Ah werk fer a livin. Ah buck apples and tend a farm, sun up to sun down. Not everypony can be all soft curves and long legs like Buttershy.” the farmer shot back, cattily. “Don’t think I haven’t seen yer poster up in mah brother’s room. Got all the colts drooling over your looks, an too shy to even say hello to em.”
“Oh, I’m sorry...” Fluttershy began, hiding behind her mane. This lasted a moment, before her stance changed, and she straightened her posture, coming out from behind her protective wall of hair to glare at her accuser.
“Actually, no, I’m not sorry.” Although her volume hadn't risen any, there was a note of steel in her voice that was previously absent. This caused all the ponies nearby to straighten up and pay attention to the softly spoken words of the yellow pegasus. Pinkie even pulled out a bucket of popcorn and leaned back in her chair with a smile.
“I am not sorry. I am not sorry that I am not as athletic as Rainbow Dash. I am not sorry that I am not as strong as Applejack, or as well groomed as Rarity. I’m also not sorry that I am not as well read, or well connected as Twilight.” This last statement sent the named princess sputtering indignantly, which was ignored by the other mares.
“I was born a pegasus, built for flying and speed, and yet my life has led me to the slow pace of caring for my friends and my animals.” She gently stomped a petite hoof in emphasis. “I am especially not sorry that I am unable to eat as much as I want and still maintain a trim, fillyish figure like Pinkie Pie!” Turning to point at the pink mare, she was treated to the shocked look and spilled popcorn of a surprised party pony.
With a quivering lip, the earth pony stood slowly, brushing off the spilled popcorn. She looked around the room at the other mares, all leaning forward hungrily for a response, like a pack of wolves waiting for a sign of weakness in their prey.
“Buck you, Fluttershy!” Barely suppressed tears shimmered in the eyes of the pink earth pony as she looked at her friends. “Buck all of you! You think it’s easy? I don’t nap half the buckin’ day like Dashie. I don’t spend all my time planning like Twilight. I spend every waking moment working my dam-bucking flank off making ponies happy. I run around like a mad mare creating parties, giving gifts, and making sure everypony is bucking happy. It takes a metric buck-ton of energy. Energy that I give away, freely to anypony that wants to be my friends!” She paused a moment to catch her breath, and glared at each of her friends in turn, before continuing.
“If I have to eat more to keep up the energy, then your fat flank has nothing to say to me on the subject, because I burn off every bit of it for you and my other friends, so your fat, lazy flank can get bucked, and learn to do some real work for once!”
Turning to the side, I saw that Discord now had the bucket of popcorn in one hand, and was greedily tossing pawfuls into his misshapen maw.
“You really get off on this shit, don’t you?” I asked him.
A pair of mismatched eyes rolled over to look at me, as a devilish grin spread across his face. “What can I say, Louis? I loves me some good ol’ chaos!”
“I bet you do.” I snarked, chuckling. “I swear, us guys may well be dogs, but women are definitely cats.” In fact, I flinched as I distinctly heard the sound of cats snarling, and wondered if it was from the mares in the room, or some crazy effect of the chaos god I was talking to.
“Seriously dude, let’s get the hell outta here. I need a beer.” I offered.
“My dear human friend, I would be honored.” Reaching out a giant paw, he pulled me in close. For once, I let it slide, and made my way towards the door with him. “In fact, the first round is on me.” he offered.
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. After you, Disco Stu!” I quipped with a grin.
Suddenly my new drinking buddy was sporting a white leisure suit and an afro, as a disco ball slowly rotated over his head, reflecting light from some unknown source.
“What a delightful nickname. I think you and I are going to get along famously!” and with a snap of his claw, the door flew open and he clambered off into the sunlight.
As I made my exit, I turned to see what was about to be a rather epic cat fight in the works, as a very frightened young dragon stared wide eyed at the chaos that was about to erupt. I caught his eye and said the only thing that I could think of.
“Come with me if you want to live.” I deadpanned. Needless to say, I got no argument from the young drake as he bolted after me and we walked out the door.
What the hell did I just write?
Well at least I wrote something. I apologize to all my loyal fans, but i just havnt had any motovation these last few months. I am sorry to disappoint you all.
I'll try my best to write some more soon. I have a few ideas in the works, and only need the motiovation to see them through. Wish me luck!
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What did you just write? How about some epic comedy, for starters. Bravo, good sir, Bravo!
This is going to be legend- wait for it- ary!
Well, now there's a story I didn't expect to ever pop up again. I would totally read The Adventures Of Discord Stu (And Assorted Others) if you wrote a story about that. Those three sounds like they're made for each other.
Yay, this fic is alive! Also, shit just got real between the mane 6!
6849559 Hey, Discord Stu does not advertise.
Well, this is a surprise. To speak my own mind on this fine, slightly warmer than a witch's tit evening, A FUCKING POX ON HEINEKEN FOR CEASING STRONGBOW. And a slightly lesser pox on Crispin for taking advantage of the lack of competition. Seriously? 7 bucks for a bloody 4-pack?
And an extremely virulent pox on philistine Yanks for prompting the elimination of Strongbow in favor of that sickeningly oversweetened Gold shite.
Woodchuck Seasonals are okay.
Smith and Forge is too sweet, but that's offset by the sharp, almost metallic tang to it. It's okay, but a bit overpriced.
I'm not fond of Angry Orchard.
Redd's is a FUCKING ABOMINATION.
That was intense.
Well, it's going to be fun to see the girls' reactions after they calm down and realize all that has been said.
Damage control will be... interesting, to say the least.
But the guys did the only logical thing in such a situation - GTFO
Disco Stu has room for two!
6850084 Meh I have to disagree, I was not impressed by strongbow.
It tastes like an apple flavored malt beverage. I prefer angry orchard, but only certain varieties, as many are too sweet. The traditional dry, and the new stone dry are my favorite, although the ginger is good in a pinch.
We can both agree about redds. It's not a cider, and doesn't even try to be. However, most folks don't even pay attention and are easily fooled.
Wait, why are we talking about cider?
This is goood! Like really goood. Its still goood. Honestly thought you forgot all about this.
“Well, destroy... Create a few thousand copies... There is such a fine line.”
Spike is my main drake!
Discord, we need more Discord.
6849559 Disco will never die, but it may be petrified for a millennium o two.
My face as i read this "Chapter":
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3471-94724_-_animated_artist_Tex_big_macintosh_letter.gif
soo....
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8608-Meme9EDIT.jpg
Seriously...this has gone from the story I recall reading to "wtf is going on here?!"
7043719 Yep, this chapter was just pure WTF.
An idea popped into my head, and i couldn't think of any way to fit it into the story, so I just wrote it anyway, and tossed it up as filler.
There is going to be more right? I didn't work hard to find this thing again for that to be it.
7541550
I still have a few chapters planned out. Hopefully more time and motivation will come with the fall months.
Yea, it's not done yet, I'm just dealing with burnout, life and some other things.
7541636 Seasons should help out I surmise.
Cause I REALLY don't want this to die, also you really should get a deviant artist to make pictures of how they look in this.
I STILL can't get that one pictured right.
7541650 I'd love to get some art, but I can't afford commissions and can't draw worth a damn.
7541674 That tough currently huh?
8425002
Good on you for your equality. Of all the -isms out there, humanism is the best. Not special or biased for/against considerations based on gender or race or nationality - everybody's a person, and if they need help, they get help. If they need a smack, they get a smack. Compassion and consequences in equal measure.
Help for the needy, backhand for the greedy.
8426141
That's why I really hate modern day feminism.
8428086
Every woman I know completely agrees. Like any extremist culture it hurts the sane people who actually need the assistance of some sort of cause or attention to their plights. Modern feminism is womankind's worst enemy.
8428096
The arrogance and selfishness makes me want to puke really, the hypocrisy of them just really pisses me off.
Hopefull boop