//------------------------------// // Interlude // Story: Room for Rent // by Drax99 //------------------------------// “I’m telling you, Dash, just because I don’t have a coltfriend doesn't mean I’m into mares.” Twilight huffed at her friend. “Yea right, then why were you so grabby at that last Hearth’s Warming party?” The colorful mare shot back. “It’s true, Darling. You were so adorable cuddling up under the table like that. You made such a cute couple.” Rarity grinned mischievously. “I still have that picture we took!” “Spike! You said you were going to destroy that thing!” the alicorn rounded on the young dragon, who jumped back in surprise. “Well, destroy... Create a few thousand copies... There is such a fine line.” Grinning sheepishly, the purple dragon puffed out his chest. “Do you have any idea how much a signed copy goes for on eHay?” “Signed copy?! Where the hay did you get a signed copy?” Fuming, Twilight stomped the ground. “Really, Twi? You will sign anything when you are on one of your research benders, so long as it get’s somepony out of your face.” Grinning, the drake turned and raised his claw for a high hoof, which was returned by a giggling Rainbow Dash. “Come now Darling, you can’t deny you didn't want it to some degree.” Rarity schmoozed up to her frazzled friend. “You know what they say, a drunken mare’s mouth speaks the sober mare’s mind!” “Oh come on, I was drunk! I must have mistaken her for a large plushie or something.” The princess of Friendship huffed and crossed her hooves. "Ya musta been really drunk to ever mistake Dash’s scrawny body for anything plush. There ain't an ounce o’ cushion on her.” Applejack snarked, getting a blush in response from both mares in question. “Look who’s talking, miss muscle freak! At least I’m all lean sinew and streamlined awesome.” Dash rose to the bait. “I’m not some muscle headed walking steroid factory!” “Hell, Ah cain’t help it Ah werk fer a livin. Ah buck apples and tend a farm, sun up to sun down. Not everypony can be all soft curves and long legs like Buttershy.” the farmer shot back, cattily. “Don’t think I haven’t seen yer poster up in mah brother’s room. Got all the colts drooling over your looks, an too shy to even say hello to em.” “Oh, I’m sorry...” Fluttershy began, hiding behind her mane. This lasted a moment, before her stance changed, and she straightened her posture, coming out from behind her protective wall of hair to glare at her accuser. “Actually, no, I’m not sorry.” Although her volume hadn't risen any, there was a note of steel in her voice that was previously absent. This caused all the ponies nearby to straighten up and pay attention to the softly spoken words of the yellow pegasus. Pinkie even pulled out a bucket of popcorn and leaned back in her chair with a smile. “I am not sorry. I am not sorry that I am not as athletic as Rainbow Dash. I am not sorry that I am not as strong as Applejack, or as well groomed as Rarity. I’m also not sorry that I am not as well read, or well connected as Twilight.” This last statement sent the named princess sputtering indignantly, which was ignored by the other mares. “I was born a pegasus, built for flying and speed, and yet my life has led me to the slow pace of caring for my friends and my animals.” She gently stomped a petite hoof in emphasis. “I am especially not sorry that I am unable to eat as much as I want and still maintain a trim, fillyish figure like Pinkie Pie!” Turning to point at the pink mare, she was treated to the shocked look and spilled popcorn of a surprised party pony. With a quivering lip, the earth pony stood slowly, brushing off the spilled popcorn. She looked around the room at the other mares, all leaning forward hungrily for a response, like a pack of wolves waiting for a sign of weakness in their prey. “Buck you, Fluttershy!” Barely suppressed tears shimmered in the eyes of the pink earth pony as she looked at her friends. “Buck all of you! You think it’s easy? I don’t nap half the buckin’ day like Dashie. I don’t spend all my time planning like Twilight. I spend every waking moment working my dam-bucking flank off making ponies happy. I run around like a mad mare creating parties, giving gifts, and making sure everypony is bucking happy. It takes a metric buck-ton of energy. Energy that I give away, freely to anypony that wants to be my friends!” She paused a moment to catch her breath, and glared at each of her friends in turn, before continuing. “If I have to eat more to keep up the energy, then your fat flank has nothing to say to me on the subject, because I burn off every bit of it for you and my other friends, so your fat, lazy flank can get bucked, and learn to do some real work for once!” Turning to the side, I saw that Discord now had the bucket of popcorn in one hand, and was greedily tossing pawfuls into his misshapen maw. “You really get off on this shit, don’t you?” I asked him. A pair of mismatched eyes rolled over to look at me, as a devilish grin spread across his face. “What can I say, Louis? I loves me some good ol’ chaos!” “I bet you do.” I snarked, chuckling. “I swear, us guys may well be dogs, but women are definitely cats.” In fact, I flinched as I distinctly heard the sound of cats snarling, and wondered if it was from the mares in the room, or some crazy effect of the chaos god I was talking to. “Seriously dude, let’s get the hell outta here. I need a beer.” I offered. “My dear human friend, I would be honored.” Reaching out a giant paw, he pulled me in close. For once, I let it slide, and made my way towards the door with him. “In fact, the first round is on me.” he offered. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. After you, Disco Stu!” I quipped with a grin. Suddenly my new drinking buddy was sporting a white leisure suit and an afro, as a disco ball slowly rotated over his head, reflecting light from some unknown source. “What a delightful nickname. I think you and I are going to get along famously!” and with a snap of his claw, the door flew open and he clambered off into the sunlight. As I made my exit, I turned to see what was about to be a rather epic cat fight in the works, as a very frightened young dragon stared wide eyed at the chaos that was about to erupt. I caught his eye and said the only thing that I could think of. “Come with me if you want to live.” I deadpanned. Needless to say, I got no argument from the young drake as he bolted after me and we walked out the door.