Crabapples to the iCore
Slowly the dreams faded, and the light of morning filtered in through the curtains. I could hear the birds outside chirping and felt a smile begin to crawl its way across my face. I couldn't remember what the dream was about, but it left me feeling so warm and happy that i didn't want to get out of bed. My folks didn't raise a layabout, however, so I hopped out of bed and landed on my hooves.
I was still a bit sore from my little episode, and the next day fixing all the damage I had done didn't help. At least now the worst of my heat was past, and I could get back to my normal Pinkie self. My mane was all kinda frizzy still, but I was still on sick leave, so nopony had to see it but me and Louis, and he didn't seem to mind. A quick shower and some brushy brushy, and I looked good as new! It was the brand new Pinkie 2.0! Suddenly my tummy grumbled at me, and I didn't need Pinkie Sense to know what that meant. Off to the kitchen to see what Louis was up to!
He must have work early today because he was up early making pancakes again. He tells me its the only breakfast he can do without setting something on fire, but his pancakes are always yummy.
“Hiya Louis!” I cheered. “How you doin' today?”
“Not bad Pinkie, you feeling better today?” He smiled at me warmly, as he flipped the pancake with a little flippy motion. It took me years to learn how to do that with my mouth, but his hands made it look easy.
“Yuppers! I feel better than ever, even though I’m still a little sore.” I groaned and stroked my tail, “That was the worst heat ever! Thank goodness it’s over until next year. Now I only have to deal with normal Pinkie feelings.”
“Well that’s good. I can only imagine what it was like with your friends.” Rolling his eyes he went back to working on breakfast.
I took the moment to relax and enjoy the morning. Louis was so nice to me, and he really was a good friend. He wasn't bad looking either. He once told me his mother was a Jamaican Queen, and his father was a Redneck, which made no sense because his neck wasn't red at all. It was actually kinda coffee colored like the rest of him, which made me wonder if he was as yummy as coffee. His mane was curly like mine, but black and short, instead of long and pink. He was thinner than most of the other humans I had seen, but still had some muscle, and a really nice, tight butt.
No, bad Pinkie! We aren’t allowed to think about Louis’ butt, and we especially are not allowed to touch it. Gah! I guess I’m not totally over my heat.
“Look, but don't touch.” I heard him quip, and my eyes shot back up. He wasn't even looking at me, but I could hear the smile in his voice. How does he do that? Maybe he has some kinda Louie Sense?
“O’oh, sorry, I was just umm, thinking about... stuff.” I could feel the blush creeping into my face as I heard him chuckle.
“Are you sure you are okay? I don't have to ask that princess of yours for more of those pills, do I?” He turned around, a stack of nummy pancakes in his hand.
“No, no. I’m fine. Just feeling a little... umm.” I stammered over what to say.
“Frisky?” He offered.
“Umm, yea. Frisky.” I blushed even more, my whole body feeling like it was on fire. “I’m okay now. That stuff did the trick, and that toy... Where do you think the Princess got that anyway?”
“Eh, probably from the internet.” Passing half of the pancakes to my waiting plate, he sat across from me and dug into his meal.
“Them infermmmph?” Oops, I quickly swallowed my own food and tried again. “The internet? Is that that thingy on your desk that you showed me all those pictures and stuff?”
“Actually, that is a computer, and the internet is what is connected to it. There are millions of computers all linked together and sending information to each other.”
“Oooh, I bet my friend Twilight would love that! She’s always reading stuff from books and looking all over for new books.” I grinned and licked my plate clean before putting it in the sink.
“Yeah, I read something about how she’s read half of the library of congress so far, and working on the other half. You weren’t kidding about her being an egghead.” Chuckling, Louis got up with his own plate, and came back with two cups of coffee. Oh sweet Celestia, how I love coffee.
“Oh and those, um... movies you played for me the other day. They were very, um.” And here comes the blush again.
“Hot?” he offered, once again. “Yea, not my cup of tea, since I’m not into ponies, like I said. But there is porn of every kink and kind to be had, and most of it legal.” He laughed darkly. “The internet is for porn.”
“The internet is for porn?” I asked.
“Why’d you think the net was born? Porn.”
“Porn?”
“Porn!”
“Wow. I woulda thought that they could do so much more with it.” Scratching my head I imagine all the work that must go into something so naughty.
“Well it is now, but it was invented by a bunch of lonely college guys, to send dirty pictures back and forth to each other.” Leaning back, Louis smiled and sipped his coffee. “That’s how it all started, but later they decided they could make some money off of it, so they needed to find a better angle. They told everyone that it was used to send information and documents to each other so they could trade knowledge, and most of the companies believed it. Eventually it started to spread, becoming bigger and faster, until everyone was using it for all sorts of things. You can play games, watch movies, read tons and tons of books. But no matter how advanced it gets, it’s still based on the delivery of porn to every computer in every home in America, and beyond.”
“Wow, that’s alotta porn.” And suddenly I felt a combo coming on. Itchy mane, twitchy eye, achy breaky heart. This meant that I was going to get something new and life changing! Oh, and another one! Raised tail, itchy hoof, and twitchy tushy... Oh, that just meant I was still feeling ‘frisky’. I guess it must be all the talk about porn.
All this went unnoticed by Louis, who was finishing his coffee. “Well I need to get to work. I’ll see you tonight, Pinkie.”
I smiled and waved to him absently as I started to think. I had some shopping to do! But first I needed another shower.
Since they still won't let me have my driver’s license, I had to call a cab. Cabs in this world aren't as nice as Equestria, although the drivers can be just as rude. After waiting half an hour, one pulled in front of the house and honked at me. Quickly grabbing my bags I bounced up to the vehicle and greeted the driver.
“Heya cabbie person! Thanks for coming!” Opening the door I popped inside and grinned at him.
“Soo, uhh. What’s with the costume?” He looked rather confused, but I was getting used to the reaction by now. There were still very few ponies around.
“Oh silly, this isn't a costume, it’s a pony! Oooh, but do you know any costume parties? I would totally like to go to one!” I used my best Pinkie charm to win him over. It never fails! Well, almost never. Mebbe 50 percent. I think.
“Oh, so you are one of them ponies I heard bout on the news? My daughter loves the show, and has a bunch of the toys.” He paused to scratch his head. “But you don't look nuttin like the toys I got her.”
“That’s because I’m the real deal, Pinkie Pie, Party Planner Extraordinaire!” Beaming my best Pinkie smile, I pulled out a card and handed it to him. I had Louis make them for me, and they turned out great! “Those ponies on TV are just silly cartoons, but I’m the original.”
He took the card,looking at me funny then stuffed it in his pocket. “S’ok. So where you wanna go little pony? You do have money for the ride, right? Cuz this ain't no petting zoo.”
“Yepperooni! I got my money right here.” Pulling out my purse, I showed him some of the money inside. His eyes bulged a bit, then he turned away from me and started the meter. “Please take me to Pencils, at the mall. I’m gonna meet my friend there.”
“Whatever you say kid. We’ll be there in no time.” And with that we were off.
I had only been in a car a few times, usually with Louis, but this one was not like his. He had a nice clean car, with a polished sheen on everything. He spent a day every week cleaning and polishing it, and he was really angry the time I tried to help. This car was old and dirty looking, with stains on everything and dirt on the windows. The driver smelled like stale cigarettes, and had a face like an old leather bag. It would be a happy old man face, if he wasn't looking at me funny in the mirror all the time. I ignored it and looked out the window instead.
The town I was in looked so much different than Ponyville. We had happy, bright colored houses, with happy, bright colored ponies living in them. Here everything was grey, brown, and dull colors, with the people looking the same. It made me kinda sad that everyone was so dull, but most of them seemed to not notice. I would have to find a way to throw more parties to cheer them all up! I was making lots of friends at work, and the customers always love to see me working. I had to stop giving the children pony rides however, since they said they couldn't afford the accidental insurance if someone got hurt. As if I would ever let a child get hurt! I was a great foalsitter, after all.
But none of the friends I have met have been as nice as Louis. He got mad when I messed things up, but he never stayed that way. He was always there for a hug, or a snuggle, and laughed at most of my jokes. He was as good a friend as Dashie, and I was happy that I had answered his ad. I would definitely have to invite my other friends to come visit so they could meet him!
Soon we arrived, and I happily gave the cabbie his fare, with a nice tip. I also offered him a cupcake, but it it had gotten smashed on the way, so he didn't seem very interested. I just shrugged and ate it myself. As I waved to one of my co-workers next door, I turned to see the big Pencils sign over my head. Louis told me he sold computers, so if I wanted to buy one, he would be the best person to ask for help!
I bounced inside, getting the usual looks and waves from the other customers. By now the other employees all knew me from all the times I visited Louis at work. He always seemed annoyed, but I knew it was just because his meanie boss gave him a hard time if he talked to friends. But today I was more than a friend, I was a customer!
“Hey Louis!” I yelled to him as I bounced up to the counter. He was ringing up another customer, and he waved back to me. Don was behind him with his head stuck inside a computer, and he waved to me as well. “Heya Donnie Boy! How’s it hangin?”
“A little to the left, same as always, Pinkie.” he responded back. Louis just facepalmed and looked back to his customer.
After he was done, I waved goodbye to the customer, and turned back to Louis. He didn't look happy. He never looked happy when he was at work. I once asked him why he wasn't ever happy at work, and all he would say was ‘Because Retail’. I really wasn't sure what that meant, but I sure hoped it never happened to me!
“So what ya need, Pinkie? I’m working, so can’t talk without getting the boss on my ass.” We both looked to the front of the store, where the meanie boss was staring at us. He looked like my friend Cranky when I first met him. One of these days I was going to throw him an extra special party and wipe that mean look off his face.
“Well, remember how we were talking about the internet?” He waved me down to lower my voice. “Oh sorry, it’s just I was thinking.” and this earned me an eye roll. Not all of my ideas have turned out so great since coming to this world. “No, really. I wanna buy a computer of my own, so I can look up stuff, play games, and.. uhh. Y’know.”
“Look at porn? Louis deadpanned.
“No! I mean, maybe, I mean... I wanna look up stuff for planning parties, and talk to my friends. They have been sending me letters telling me to get online, so they can talk to me on Blather, and Stalkerbook. And my friend Vinyl keeps bugging me to play World of Wubcraft, whatever that is.” To this I received some sage nodding, and then a smile. One of those creepy ones he likes to scare people with. I think it’s kinda cute, myself.
“Good! I can help you with that.” He said loudly, as he waved at his boss, motioning me over to the computer display. The boss just glared back, looking like he had really bad gas.
“So, are you looking for a laptop, or a desktop?” he asked, motioning to the various displays. I had no idea that there were so many types of computer. I saw some that looked like books held open, others that were big TV looking things like Louis had, and even little square things that looked like roofing tiles with pictures on them.
“Uhh, I dunno Louis. I don't have a desk or a lap, so how do I decide?” Looking around at the different screens, my head started to hurt as I realized how little I knew about this stuff.
“Well, laptop is just a name. It’s a more portable version, not as powerful, but easier to carry around. A desktop is the big box things like I have, and a monitor attaches so you can see what you are doing. We can always get you a desk, whichever you choose.”
“Can I just get one like you have then? You can teach me how to use it.” I beamed at the easy resolution.
“Well my rig is a custom built gaming system. It’s way more powerful than anything you can buy off the shelf.” Scratching his goatee, he thought a moment. I thought it was funny that he called it a goatee, since it didn't look like a goat. Although I did have goat tea once, and it was horrible. I wonder if his beard tasted like goat tea?
Suddenly I realized that he had been talking, and snapped back to attention. “Oh, sorry, what were you saying?”
“I said, maybe we can get you one of these Crapple computers, and upgrade it to run faster. I can put some better equipment in it. That way if you want to play some better games, you can.”
“Why do they call them Crapple? Are they no good?” I poked a hoof at one of the shiny boxes he was showing me.
“Oh, they are pretty good. Crabapple computers makes some decent equipment, even if they are a bit overpriced, marketed more to be trendy than useful, and they just have a weird cult following.” Patting one, he showed me the screen and how to bring up a web page. It looked so pretty that I knew it had to be the right choice!
“I’ll take it! And I will need a desk to put it on. Can you have it sent to the house?” I bounced on my tippy hooves with excitement at owning my very own Crapple computer.
“Sure thing, Pinkie. I can actually get it set up here, and bring it home with me after work. We can have you cruising the internet in no time.” Beaming at me, he walked me over to the counter where Don was still face deep in some repair. “Hey Don, think you can have this done before I leave? Pinkie wants to go on the internet.”
“Ya, sure. This stupid Shmell computer is toast anyway, so I’m giving up on it.” Withdrawing himself from the innards of the gutted machine, he smiled at me. The smile got a bit uncomfortable after a while as he kept staring, and I remembered that Louis had mentioned he was one of the Bronies that seemed to worship us ponies. After a moment he finally snapped out of whatever trance he was in and finished. “Sorry, umm. Just keep away from HaterChan. Those guys are kinda creepy, and they tend to post some nasty stuff about ponies.”
“Will do Donnie! Thanks for the help.” With a happy bounce I hopped off to pick out a desk.
Unfortunately all the desks were dull and serious looking, so I just picked one at random that I could stand at when I didn't wanna use a chair. They didn't have any pony chairs either, so I went with a cute pink stool. Before I knew it, I was at the checkout, and paying for everything. Louis gave me a concerned face when when he saw I still had a bunch of cash in my bags, but just shook his head.
“Heya there miss, I just wanted to thank you for shopping at Pencils!” I nearly jumped out of my fur as the meanie boss came up behind me, offering a hand to shake. He had a fake smile, and I bet his palms were all sweaty too. I stared at it for a moment, as if it would bite me, but then cautiously shook his hand. It was sweaty and gross. “I take it Louis has been taking good care of you?” He pretended to look at me, but I could see his eyes flicking back to the money in my hoof. I also thought it was odd that he pretended not to know me, when he had already gotten angry a few times when I had tried to visit Louis on his break.
Let me tell you, as an expert on making ponies smile, I knew all types of smile. This was the phoniest of phoney smiles, and it made me feel ill to look at. But I just smiled back, and nodded. “Yes mister boss, Louis is the best employee here!” I quickly turned away, not bearing to look at the horrible fake smile anymore, and handed the cashier my money. I thanked her and grabbed my receipt before dashing for the door, yelling, “ThanksLouis! Seeyoulaterbye!”
Finally away from the fake smile and the sweaty hands, I relaxed a little. Stopping by my work to check in with my boss, she was happy to hear I was ready to come back the next day. They already had three parties lined up for me to plan, and there was alot of work to do. A party planner’s work is never done!
After that was settled, it was such a beautiful day that I decided to hop home instead of riding. I took the scenic route, passing a park and stopped to play with some of the children there. Many of them wanted to pet me, which tickled alot, but then we settled on a game of hide and seek. I am a master hider, and won most of the games, although sometimes my poofy tail gave me away. It was all great fun until some of the older kids showed up and started teasing them about playing with a pink pony. I told them they were just jealous because they were too big to get free pony rides. I must have been right because one of them looked like he was about to cry, and the other just got really really red like he was embarrassed. After that they left us alone.
All too soon the children had to go home, and I continued my own trip. It was good to be home, and soon Louis would be here with my new Crapple! Almost as if by magic, I heard the door open and my bestest friend arrive with a big box in his hands. I helped him bring it to my room, and then we retrieved the desk. I had to sit back and watch him work, since I couldn't make any sense of the directions, but soon the desk and computer was all set up.
“So, I upped the memory to sixteen gigabytes, optimized the hard drive and blah blah blah, something about software and cores...” I kinda tuned him out as I felt my eyes glaze over. It was like listening to Twilight giving one of her lectures, but soon it was over and he was staring at me expectantly.
“Oh sorry, I wasn't paying attention.” I shook my head and coughed nervously. “You were saying something about apple cores and jiggle butts?” I snickered into my hoof. “What kind of naughty stuff did you do to my computer?”
He took a long sigh, and rubbed his temples like he had a headache before continuing at a slower pace. “What I said was... You know what? It doesn't matter. This thing is fast, it will do anything you need it to do. Hop in the chair and lemme show you how it works.”
I hopped like instructed, getting comfy at the desk. He leaned over my shoulder and wrapped his arm around me to grab the thingy with the cord. I smiled and leaned into him, feeling the warmth and smelling his human-y smell. He didn't pull away, so I stayed that way as he started his lesson.
“This is called a mouse. Don’t ask, it just is.” I nodded, and he continued. “You move it to control the little arrow on the screen. Click to use things, right click to get menus and other stuff. Some things need you to double click. No. You do not double right click. Ever.” I blinked and looked up at him. I was getting the feeling he gave this lesson alot.
“So you can open programs that way, clicking these icons on the desktop.” Again he sighed, as I looked down at the desk. “The desktop is what we call this main screen, on the monitor.” I chuckled nervously. “The main one you will most likely be using is the browser, here. I installed Icewolf, use that to find stuff. It opens to Goofle, and you can just ask it stuff. I even installed a headset so you can use your voice to type.”
“There sure are alotta funny names for stuff on the computer. I guess I can try to remember them. Thanks for helping me Louis, I really appreciate all of this.” I smiled and reached up to hug him and he returned it.
“It’s cool, Pinkie. I just get alotta morons that try to use computers and I have to teach them all stuff that nobody ever taught me. They are too lazy to learn on their own, and want to be spoon fed everything. Just makes me cranky.” He smiled and stepped back.
“But you don't look anything like my friend, Cranky!” I joked, getting a smile and his typical eye roll. “Thanks again, Louis. I think I kinda got the basic idea, and I’ll come get you if I need help.” I scratched my chin and looked at the screen a moment, before asking, “What should I do first?”
“Well, when I started years ago, we used to have fun going to sites like ‘Gerbil-dance’, or ‘You’re the Dog now Man’. I don't even know if those sites are around anymore, and most folks just hang out on Stalkerbook and Blutube.” He shrugged, and waved at the screen. “I would start with some Goofle Searches, and maybe look up some info on how to use the internet. Just stay clear of any Chan boards. Trust me on this one.” He nodded firmly and crossed his arms.
“Okies, Louis, thanks!” I beamed as he turned to leave, and then stared at my newest toy.
My first search was for Gerbil-dance, since Louis suggested it. I got a page of stuff, looking like one of Twilight’s lists. I clicked on the first one, and was amused to see little critters spinning and dancing on the screen, while singing. I giggled and imagined how much Fluttershy would love this. Soon however, I realized the whole thing just kept repeating and I grew bored.
Going back to the search, I tried the second link, but it looked nothing like the first. This one had a little movie in the center, that started out blurry. First I saw a little critter, all cute and fuzzy running in a wheel. After a moment I saw a big human hand reach in and pick him up, as the camera turned to follow. I was a bit confused at first, because the the human looked kinda funny, but then I realized he wasn't wearing any clothes. I couldn't help but wonder if Louis looked like that without his clothes, and I felt my cheeks start to burn.
“What is he doing to that little critter?” I wondered allowed, as I saw him grab a small tube, and stuff the critter inside. And then he bent over in front of the camera... and... I quickly closed the window. “Eew! Don was right, some humans are sick! That poor little critter!”
Shaking my head, pondered asking Louis about what I had seen, but decided to brave it on my own. Louis said he hated when people didn't try to learn on their own, so I wanted to try myself. Cautiously I reopened the program, and decided to try some of the things my friends suggested. “Let’s try Stalkerbook!" All my friends said they were on it, and kept bugging me to join them. “If all of my friends are on it, what’s the worst that could happen?”
TWO HOURS LATER...
Happy that Pinkie had finally found something to entertain herself, I spent a little quality time of my own online. I turned down yet another invite from Don to attend a brony meetup, but promised to pass it along to Pinkie. Email was quickly dispatched, spam folders flushed, and the lone email from mom replied to. That left a bit of time for some entertainment. Porn was getting a bit stale, and after the recent events with Pinkie, I wasn't in the mood. There wasn't any new movies I wanted to watch, and I didn't feel like reading. That left a few hours of mindless building on Mindcrack!
It’s one of those addictive indie games, easy to get into, and hard to stop playing. You smash things, collect stuff, use the stuff to build new things. Rinse and repeat. A great way to relieve stress after a day of serving the unwashed masses.
I was well into my session, building a nice evil lair on the side of a cliff, overlooking a hapless village below. Suddenly I heard the sound of hooves tapping frantically on my door. With a groan, I turned off the game and opened the door to see a teary eyed Pinkie wringing her hooves with worry.
“What did you break, Pinkie?
“I think I'm in trouble! I was restarting the computer because it was acting funny and I read online that turning it off and on again usually fixes things, but now it says my computer is locked and that they found bad things on my computer and if I don't pay them they will send somepony to take me to jail!” She looked on the verge of a meltdown as her avalanche of words tumbled out. Pausing to take a breath she went on, “I’m so sorry Louis I didn't know that it was bad but I was on Stalkerbook and my friends said I should post some pictures of myself and the twins so I scanned some pics of them and because they are babies i decided to post some pics of me as a baby and now I’m gonna go to jail for foal porn!”
As she stopped for another breath, I placed a hand over her muzzle. Very calmly I leaned down and asked her, “You turned off the Antivirus, didn't you?” A frantic nod was my reply. Taking my hand off, I walked toward the room, beckoning her to follow.
At the scene of the crime was a well known image of the latest in scams circulating the internet. A screen full of dire, yet vague threats telling you that you were being locked out of your computer for doing various illegal things, and demanding money to unlock it.
“Why did you turn off the antivirus?” I asked, keeping my voice calm.
“Well I got an invite from my friend to play World of Wubcraft, and I downloaded it. But when it tried to install it said it was having trouble, so I had to turn off my antivirus, so I did. But after it installed, it says you need a credit card to play, so since I don't have one, I just gave up and went back to Stalkerbook to talk to my friends. But after I finished playing few games with them, the computer started acting weird, so I turned it off and on like I heard you should do. And then this!” She covered her mouth with a hoof and looked frightened.
I sighed, and collapsed into the chair, shaking my head. “First off, pinkie, you are not in trouble. Nobody found porn on your machine, and just posting pics isn't bad, as long as nothing naughty is being done.” She seemed to relax a bit, but the look of worry was still on her face. “Second, you have a virus. You have a virus because you foolishly turned off your antivirus and then went to the most virus-filled website on the planet.” Her face fell from worry, to one of shame, and her ears drooped like a kicked puppy.”
“I’m sorry Louis. I just wanted you to not hate me because I didn't try on my own.”
“No, no. None of that. This is what I do for a living, fixing the mistakes of folks that are ignorant and foolish. Both can be forgiven as long as you learn from them.” Her ears perked up at this, and she stepped closer. “Don’t ever be afraid to ask me questions, Pinkie. It’s not ignorance that I hate, it’s stupidity. If you don’t know something, and seek to learn it, that is always a good thing. It’s the fucktards that know better and still do something stupid that piss me off.”
“So you’re not mad at me?” It was heartbreaking to see her trying so hard for my approval. I reached out and let her have a big hug.
“No Pinkie. You annoy me at times, but I ain't even mad.” Pulling back I looked into her smiling face. “Now go make me some coffee, I’m gonna be here for a bit while I fix this.” As she hopped off to the kitchen, I sighed and went back to my room to retrieve my tools. I had to wonder how cute the pictures of baby ponies would be once I fixed this mess. They certainly couldn't be bad enough to get anyone in trouble, even if there were laws against it. I mean, pictures of baby animals were the staple of motivational posters worldwide.
Suddenly a thought crossed my mind that made me stop as I was walking back to her room. I don't even own a scanner, and neither did Pinkie. So how the hell did she upload pics of herself?
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Hey, just wanna say I LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH! Can't wait to read more and more of this awesome story! Keep it up! Good work!
Mate, don't be afraid to use the actual company names. Not like they're gonna launch a thousand lawsuits at you.
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It's a...Thing of his.
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An unnecessary, annoying thing.
3974284 Personally, I find it amusing. I wonder what he'd call Redtube....
Awesome chapter!!! Been waiting SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LONG for it! Finally here.
but now its over. 
nooooo. But it was fly awesome. 
cant wait for more!
I think you had a little too much fun coming up with all the mock names for things.
So many bland name products!!!!
Copyright dodging like a motherf*cker.
NO! HOW DARE YOU INDOCTRINATE PINKIE WITH THAT FILTH!
Help her build her own rig and teach her how to use Gentoo.
using real names is too mainstream?
great chapter as always however!
3974332 MeTube, of course.
I've gotten that virus once. I don't know what's worse, the fact that it blackmails you, or the fact that tricks you into thinking it's the federal government cracking down on you.
3974274 I prefer My Little Po(r)ny myself...
3974689 Who hasn't gotten that damn thing?
Tell me they aren't...
This is an awesome story :D BTW, I love these fake names you're comming up with everything. When you first used "Goofle" I thought it was just a typo, as F and G are right next to each other, but as soon as you said BluTube, I knew exactly what you were doing
This is a hilarious story so far, and I cannot wait to read more.
P.S. Awesome Avenue Q reference
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3974595 Meh, i dont give two shits about the copyright of major corporations. Small business FTW!
I do it purely for comedic value, and to reinforce the Alternate Universe thing. This isn't OUR earth, these aren't REAL MLP Ponies. This is an alternate, and they are aliens from another dimension that just happen to resemble them. So you get Blutube, Stalkerbook, and Goofle, while you get cloven hooves, fluffy fur, and naughty bits.
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The Internet is for PORN!
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3974854 Got it in one. I've been waiting to tell this joke for weeks now.
And it's all true!
"Never double right click"
Why?
*double right clicks and goes back a page, loosing my place in the chapter*
Well, that's not what I expected
So. Many. COMPUTER PUNS!
MAKE IT STAHP!!!!!
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Lavender Pipe
hehehe, World of Wubcraft. That's an awesome twist to World of Warcraft. Speaking of which, I haven't played that for about three years.
Nice chapter, Hopefully, my internet will be back up at home, so I don't have to read here at school (Though I probably will anyway).
3975397 I don't think hes stopping at just this, but cant wait for next chapter
(btw, nice gamer luna pic you got, cute
)
3975338 ??? *Double right clicks* ... Nothing happened... Google Chrome FTW?
Loved the Avenue Q bit. I'm with the others on all the Brand X stuff.
And wow, it didn't take Pinkie even two hours to get slammed with malware? Also, hooray for reality-warping powers!
...
3976488 I've known people who could bring a computer to its knees within half an hour. They just don't listen.
I think I love you.
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You say this like you need a reason to quote Avenue Q!
The Alot likes tickles!
I do enjoy the Pinkie Pie POV in this chapter. Very close to character, in my opinion.
This actually happend to me once...
FYI man you won't get sued for using real website names you know.
Unless you did it purposely to make it a little more original then I understand it. 
Also I don't suppose you could procure a picture of a realistic looking version of them could you? Would you?
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Frankly, I think these are better. They describe the product in an honest manner, and are funny because of it.
I've read up to the most current chapter now and I must say, You've found that happy medium between reality and cartoonish fun that I love. I look forward to the next chapter!
3978624 Sorry, i don't speak or read dead languages. I use a language that constantly adapts and adds new words and meanings. Alot is a word in my vocabulary, has a specific meaning, and anyone that doenst like that can just deal with it
Don't believe me? Ask your english teacher about the word 'Ain't'
3979193 I'd love to, but since I cant draw fer crap, I'mma have to leave that up to folks that like to do fan art.
3976820 Sold a lady a new computer, set it up, even installed antivirus. She brought it back the next day for a refund saying it was broke. It had 1400 viruses.
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3976357 Nothing wrong with Double-right click, it just technically does not exist in windows. Windows just sees it as 2 separate right clicks. I get sick and tired of people asking EVERY DAMN TIME when I tell them to double click. "Left or right?"
Yeah if you can find somebody man.
I'd love to see what that version of them would look like.
Real life setting replacing the apparently untruthful cartoon setting.
3981159 Honestly, some people should just not have a computer. I have a friend who asks me how to do the simplest of tasks on a computer over the phone ALL THE TIME, and just can't understand any of it.
In a sense, I know that feel, bro.
3981452 Truf
And don't even get me started on child leash laws...
I swear there needs to be a standardized test you have to pass before owning a computer, like owning a car. Then again, I am also still wanting to lobby for testing before being a parent too. Having kids should be outlawed unless you can prove you are a proper parent.
I've raised enough kids to have an opinion too.
3981603 A standardized test for computers? Definitely. I've only had my computer for like what, 1 year? 2? And I'm always the first person my friends call for computer help. One of our friends is a f***ing programmer, yet they always come to me.
The names!
I got that stupid fbi warning bullshit lol I got rid of it in command prompt then fucked the ip address with a LOIK lol im suck a troll
3984520 There is more than one version, the early ones let you just go into safe mode and removes it, some of the new ones totally screw your MBR and lock the system. Most cases, still better to just reformat. Quite often, even after you removed he virus now your system is still hosed, and windows still boots to a grey screen.
3986561 Some tips I give my customers:
Firefox, Chrome, etc do not have direct install permission, so they need to ask you first. That extra layer may save your system.
1. Free is a four-letter-word. Its the internet's F-word. You can grantee they are getting paid somehow.
2, Scan everything. I don;t care if god himself sends you a ticket to heaven, scan it with an antivirus.
3. Don't use IE. It's like handing a teenager the keys to your car. And you house. And your wallet. It's stupid, and will install anything anyone tells it to.
4. You are the nightclub owner, your antivirus is only the bouncer at the door. If you are stupid enough to tell the bouncer to let someone in the door, there isn't a damn thing it's gonna do to protect you.
5. Be paranoid, they ARE out to get you.
6. If all else fails, and you are not sure about something, just google it. If it's bad, you will usually see a page of results on how to avoid/remove it.
3986561 I remember a time when my computer got more pop.ups than that minigame in GTA V. Good times, Good times.
bear with me folks, I am working on both the next chapter, and a random bonus chapter. and it's gonna be a musical!
4009617 Hey there, just wanna say that I LOVE YOUR STORY dude! I can't wait for more, nice work! Hope to see the new chapter soon enough!
And nice to meet you, I just joined FIMfiction.net last month. Once again, CANNOT wait for more of Room for Rent!
Greetings rentiphiles! As promised, I will be working on a bonus chapter in between regular chapters. However, it has already gotten far too large for a normal chapter, so I am posting it as a separate story. I will update it from time to time as I get a chance, and am happily looking for assistance with Ponifying songs for the script.
For now, here it is.Room for Rent: A Drop of the CreatureFalse alarm folks, looks like FiMFiction wont allow this chapter because the songs are ponified from real song lyrics, and I suck to much to rewrite them from scratch. But hey, that's what a parody is, right?
Anyway, I will most likely have to wait until it is done, and give you guys a link to the Google Doc, since I can't post it here.
Also, chapter 5 is done! It's off to my editor, and awaiting his scathing review of how inadequate my writing skills are... So Stay Tooned!
UPDATE: Yay, FF.Net to the rescue!
Room for Rent: A Drop of the Creature
The strange thing is I thought all those names were real...
I'm curious as to why you use those alternative names? I mean, staples isn't going to suddenly sue for using their name. Heck, as long as you're not slandering the company, you have nearly free use of their name.
And Viruses on Fa-Stalkerbook? It's not unheard of, but it's damn rare. It had to have been her porn sites.
Loving the story overall.
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A severely autistic thing of his?
Also, currently reading through the story and just got up to this point.
His writing is decent but looking through his profile and other shit clearly displays how uncomfortable he is with his life; a furry who tries to avoid mentioning company brands and names in any of his work, has a black alicorn (99.9999% insert) 'OC', writes a human protagonist with a name (most likely his) with a description to boot (most likely his) when it really isn't needed.
I'm severely disappointed in finding this stuff out about him as his writing seems fairly well done for the most-part, but yeah, he can't seem to keep his thoughts and feelings out of his own work. He should probably seek help for his own good, just saying.