• Published 4th Sep 2014
  • 2,593 Views, 25 Comments

Where Things Are Hollow - cleverpun



Twilight Sparkle turns herself into a background pony.

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3. We All Become

The party met her expectations. A bunch of ponies she didn’t know and a bunch of small talk she didn’t care for. Why had she agreed to come here again? To talk to the two ponies she actually liked? She could do that anywhere, and it would not have been nearly as loud as it was in Sugarcube Corner at the moment.

Twilight took another bite of her hay roll. At least the food tasted good. Conveniently, less ponies were inclined to talk to her while she was standing near the food table. Every time one tried, she took a bite or sip of something and they would give up eventually.

Twilight sighed. She hadn’t even seen Rainbow Dash or Cheerilee at all since she got here. This had been a terrible decision. What had she been thinking? She could be at home reading a nice book or something, instead of sitting here for ten minutes eating food in order to avoid conversation.

She turned to leave and promptly bumped into Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie gasped, and it was just loud enough to cut through the low hum of conversation. “Twilight! I didn’t know you were coming! You never come to my parties! Well, except, now you do, since you’re at this one!”

“Hello, Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said. She had never liked Pinkie Pie. The pony had insisted on being Twilight’s “friend”, but Twilight certainly didn’t need energy and attention and spectacle following her everywhere. “I was actually just stopping by. I have things to do at the library.”

“But you just got here! Have you mingled yet? Or maybe hung out? You might be the hobnobbing type. Probably don’t wanna consort or get chummy.” Pinkie draped a leg over Twilight’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s work the room! I’ll help you. There’s all sorts of ways to make new friends! No need to sit here by the food all night, right?”

Twilight forced Pinkie’s leg off her. One had to cut off Pinkie quickly; momentum was another thing Twilight did not need. “I’d really rather not,” Twilight said. “I mostly came here to see Rainbow Dash and Cheerilee, but it looks like they aren’t here yet.”

“Oh, Rainbow Dash is upstairs with Fluttershy! They were regaling some ponies with the story of how we stopped Discord! Or maybe they were indulging them. Or maybe—”

“Thanks, I got it.” Twilight turned to the stairs. Pinkie Pie hopped after her.

“Want me to show you where they are?”

“Thanks, I think I can handle it.”

“Okay, let me know if you need anything!”

Pinkie bounced towards the kitchen, and Twilight let out a sigh. Finally.

She pushed her way through the crowd of ponies towards the stairs. She managed to navigate the throng without much jostling or bodily contact. As she climbed the stairs, it felt like coming up for air. Crowds had never been a strong suit of hers.

As she entered the top floor, the noise dimmed. Guests had broken off into smaller groups, and conversations wafted out of most of the rooms.

Twilight’s ear flicked. She definitely heard Rainbow’s voice. She walked further along the hallway. Just as she was about to open a door, a small posse of ponies spilled out of it.

Rainbow Dash leaned back in her chair. “Ha, oh man, that thing with the boulder never gets old.”

“Rainbow, maybe you shouldn’t keep telling that to everypony,” Fluttershy said softly.

“Why not?” Rainbow Dash put her forelegs behind her head. The beanbag squeaked as she settled into it. “Rarity was hopped up on chaos magic. We all were. I mean, it wasn’t funny then, but it’s pretty funny now, right?”

“I guess,” Fluttershy said softly.

Twilight stepped into the room.

“Oh, hey, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash said. “You just missed the story of how we saved Equestria from a horrible god of chaos. Want me to start over? Very Daring Do, you’ll love it.” She turned to Fluttershy and back again. “Oh, uhm, you know Fluttershy?”

“No, we’ve never met.” Twilight barely knew any of the ponies in town. She only knew library regulars, and the library was hardly high traffic. “I know she’s the Element of Kindness, but that’s about it.”

“Hi,” Fluttershy said. She didn’t bother to make eye contact.

“Hi,” Twilight said.

“Well, uhm, nice meeting you. I’m going to go get something to drink.” Fluttershy floated out of the room. Her mane hid her face well as she passed by Twilight.

“Geez, that was the most boring thing I’ve ever heard.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “You two sure suck at talking to ponies.”

“Haven’t you two been up here… I believe Pinkie Pie used the word ‘regaling’.”

“Yeah, but Fluttershy isn’t really great at exciting stuff. She mostly just chimed in to correct details.”

“I see.” Twilight sat down on a pillow. It was still warm from its last occupant. “And how many times have you gone through the story?”

“Uh, three times, I guess?” Rainbow Dash grabbed a drink from a nearby table. “I guess most ponies have heard it by now, though, since the last batch was the smallest.”

“And you don’t get sick of it? Repeating yourself in front of a bunch of strangers?”

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Well, that’s kinda specific. What’s with you?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Ha, yeah right. You’re a bad liar, Twi.”

Twilight didn’t want to say it. She and Rainbow Dash only ever talked about books. The idea of sharing something personal with her felt so alien. Except opinions were personal, weren’t they? So would it really matter if she said it out loud? She certainly couldn’t talk to Cheerilee about it.

Twilight took a deep breath. Even as she made the decision, it felt uncomfortable. Then her mouth opened, she began speaking, and she couldn’t go back.

“I don’t know. Cheerilee asked me to talk to her class. I suppose I’m still trying to make up my mind about it.”

“Is that it? You’re worried about talking to a bunch of little kids?” Rainbow Dash took a sip of her drink. “Doesn’t sound like a big deal to me.”

“How shocking.”

“Oh come on, Twi. I know you do that whole ‘boring egghead’ act all the time, but you can’t be that bad at talking to ponies. You came to this party, after all.”

“I didn’t choose to come here. Cheerilee guilted me into it,” Twilight said.

“Nopony can force you to do stuff, Twi. That’s a pretty bad excuse.”

“Oh?” Twilight tilted her head ever so slightly. “And what about when you were ‘hopped up’ on chaos magic? Did you have a choice then?”

“Yeah, well, we could still make choices. It was a bad situation, sure, but everypony still had to handle it.” Rainbow Dash waved a hoof. Her reclined position made the motion a little awkward, but it still felt dismissive. “Besides, that was different. I don’t see you having your brain and stuff changed by magic.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “So it’s just that simple, is it? Everyone’s a result of their choices, not their circumstances?”

“Uh, sure, sounds about right.”

“You know, Harris wrote an article refuting that very—”

Rainbow Dash groaned. It was just loud and just whiny enough to stop Twilight’s sentence.

Twilight rolled her eyes at that. “You can’t avoid refuting me by pretending to be ignorant. This is just like that time we were discussing Ahuizotl’s motivations in Daring Do and the Broken Pendulum.”

Rainbow Dash sat up. “Hey, I can refute stuff!”

Twilight smiled. Rainbow’s lackadaisical act always broke when Twilight brought up that argument.

Rainbow Dash looked towards a particular part of the wall. She had obviously been caught in the act. “Alright, alright. You want a real example?” Rainbow Dash ran a hoof through her mane.

Twilight didn’t rush her. Rainbow Dash had shown she had plenty of good ideas. Sometimes she just needed time to express them.

Rainbow Dash was still rubbing her mane. Her hoof snapped up. It was easy to imagine the click of a lightbulb or gear as her back straightened. “Aha! I got one.” She turned back to Twilight. “You remember the first time we met?”

“Of course. You crashed into the library right as I was in the middle of A Song of Ice and Farrier’s fourth book.”

“Right. And what did you do after? You didn’t just ignore it, you helped get me to the hospital.”

“That’s not a very good example. Nopony could just ignore something like that,” Twilight said.

“Oh yeah? What about after that? You didn’t have to check on me in the hospital, and you definitely didn’t need to bring me a book to read.” Rainbow Dash rubbed her neck. “And, uh, I guess I didn’t need to try and avoid reading it for so long. Or to sneak into the library after it was closed.”

“I caught you anyway.”

“But that’s the point!” Rainbow Dash smiled. She always got that look when her argument came together. It felt almost childlike, the way her pride managed to be so blunt. Of course, the smug self-satisfaction that accompanied it certainly felt like an adult’s. “I chose not to just get a library card, and you chose to investigate the noise, and you chose not to turn me in. Everything turned out alright, but it woulda gone different if we made different choices.”

“How…indeterministic of you, Rainbow.”

Rainbow’s smug, happy smile faded quickly. “Indy-what? That means I’m right, right?”

Twilight’s turned to stare at the same patch of wall. “You certainly…might have a point.” A moment of silence struck the room, just long enough to be noticeable. Finally, she stood up. “I think I’ll head back to the library. I have some work to do.”

“What, giving up so easily?”

“No, it’s not that. You just…just gave me a lot to think about.” Twilight smiled. “Nice talking with you, Rainbow Dash.”

“Hey, anytime.” Rainbow Dash leaned back in her chair. “I’m pretty great at refuting stuff, after all.”

Twilight turned to the door. She ran a hoof through her mane as she left.

She passed by Fluttershy on her way out. Neither of them said anything to each other.

“What took you so long?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh, Vinyl was just telling me about how Spike helped her stop Discord’s magic.” Fluttershy glanced back at the door. “What were you two talking about?”

“Oh, you know—” Dash shrugged “—stuff.”


The schoolhouse looked so unassuming in the early morning light. It looked stoic and knowledgeable, not unlike the library. It was hard to believe that, not long from now, it would bloat with children and flood with noise.

Twilight frowned. The thought of all those fillies and colts staring intently at her stuck in her mind.

“Thanks again for agreeing to help, Twilight,” Cheerilee said. “I know you don’t really enjoy crowds.”

“Yes,” Twilight couldn’t think of anything else to say. Her throat felt dry. Her notecards felt heavy. Did younger ponies respond to notecards? Why had she written so many?

“Don’t be nervous, Twilight! You’ll hardly be the only pony giving a presentation today, and the students aren’t going to attack you.”

“Are you sure this is even a good idea? I mean, who wants to hear from some boring librarian?”

“Oh, don’t be so pessimistic, Twilight. Ponies their age are interested in anything and everything. Why, I have one group of three who have a little club dedicated just to trying new things in order to get their cutie marks.”

“Sounds a little frivolous. I mean, who’s to say destiny isn’t set in stone already?” Twilight muttered.

“Now, Twilight, don’t get all fatalistic on me. My students aren’t concerned with philosophy, they just want to discover as many things as possible. And there’s no better way to discover things than with a magnifying glass and a flashlight.”

“Cute metaphor.”

Cheerilee draped a hoof over Twilight’s shoulder. “Come on, you can help me set up the classroom before everypony gets here.” She started to lead Twilight into the building. “It’ll help take your mind off things.”

“What…what if they don’t like my presentation? What if I just stand up there and make a fool of myself?”

Cheerilee smiled. “I suppose that might happen. But if you get a single pony’s attention, change a single life for the better, won’t it be worth it?”

They stepped into the building. The interior looked just as quaint and stoic as the exterior. The undersized desks made everything seem so unimpressive.

Cheerilee walked over to her desk, rummaged through it for a moment. “Who knows, maybe after today you might even be inspired to do something with the library. I know for a fact that Mayor Mare has been looking for more afterschool programs to fund, make her election easier. I could schedule an appointment with her for this weekend, if you want.”

“Har har. Let’s just take it one step at a time.”

Twilight stopped scanning the room and turned around. Cheerilee held a roll of tape in her mouth, poked it towards Twilight.

Twilight grabbed the roll of tape, and Cheerilee turned to a sign folded in the corner. Marker on butcher paper, by the looks of it.

“Well, you know what they say.” Cheerilee started to unroll the banner, and Twilight could hear the amused smile without seeing it. “A legacy of generations starts with a single pony. Maybe your legacy starts today.”

Twilight, with a legacy. How absurd. Twilight tore off a piece of tape. Twilight Sparkle was the last pony who deserved or wanted a legacy. And yet she didn’t bother to contradict Cheerilee. The idea prodded her. It felt alien and imposing, yet in some ways possible and natural.

Twilight tore off another piece of tape. She thought back to her conversation with Rainbow Dash a few days ago. The idea seemed so childish and simplistic. Yet she hadn’t forgotten it. If she was defined by her choices, then what did it mean, being here? She shook her head, tore another piece of tape off the roll. Best not to worry about it right now. Surviving this would be enough of a challenge. The last time that she had addressed a group of any size had been back in college.

A momentary daydream struck her. She saw herself in the Canterlot senate, desks and chairs everywhere, addressing hundreds of ponies. She turned to Cheerilee, handed over the strips of tape. The idea almost made her laugh. Almost.

Author's Note:

“People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply; by the lives they lead.” ― James Baldwin

Comments ( 22 )

Hmmm... I'm interested to see where this is going, I wonder if we'll have a predicament like in-

*Complete*

Oh, uh... Okay then.

Favoriting for the moment because I know how awesome this is. I'll read and drop something actually meaningful ASAP.

Oooooh existentialism. Took a course in that last summer.

I think, therefore I am, or something like that?

4950175 Yes, that's why EqD rejected it. :trixieshiftright:

4950349 That's the gist of it, sure

Interesting. I quite enjoyed it.

Interesting. So her experience as a princess traumatized her so much that even when she retconned history she retained a fear of public speaking and impressing others. It's probably for the best, but unfortunately her "vacation" can't last nearly as long as she might like. Because Vinyl Scratch is going to be Princess Vinyl Scratch for about ten minutes before she goes completely bonkers from boredom and stress, and hunts down that spell herself.

Perhaps the timeline won't spontaneously abort itself the third time around, once, I dunno, a certain... outgoing, mature, even-minded unicorn who also happens to be a talented seamstress ends up becoming princess. :raritywink:

Glad to se it here at last. Didn't remember that part of Dash going all "eureka!", and it was a nice addition.

Okay, finished. Great story here, like it was before. ;) But yeah, interesting on choices and fate.

4982122 Ha, not biased are you? :ajsmug:

One of the trickiest parts of this story was making Twilight's behavior at the beginning seem somewhat believable. "Twilight has a magic barf" or something is such a cliche that I really wanted to make it obvious that it was her own choice and her own fault that caused it. That's fine for show!Twilight, but the future!Twilight shown here may strain that believability.

:trixieshiftright:

This was very good and is a great and interesting premise, and I love the little flashes of doubt creeping up on twilight.... but it in many ways feels like an appetizer instead of a full story... it gives an amazing build up to a situation, and leaves everything unresolved... I find myself hoping the complete tag is just there until you are ready to continue, since it seems sad to just leave it like this to me.

This story holds itself well enough until the abrupt ending, as the other viewers have pointed out. Twilight's attempt to reject her own destiny appears to be successful, although I could see that there were points when fate attempts to reassert its position in her life. That being said, I have to wonder if Princess Celestia knows about what Twilight's going through. Since the Princess's attempt to have Twilight 'make some friends' has essentially failed, it's odd that she would simply allow her student to wallow in her dissatisfaction in Ponyville. Anyways, I'd like to think that Twilight's life can be turned around if she chooses to act in a more decisive manner, but given the fact that this story is completed, we're probably never going to see this happen.

4997499 4998072 Eh, it's not out of the question. I had "Princest is Wincest," It Said as complete and still updated it 6 months later. Still working on balancing interpretability and vagueness--a lot of my complete stories field similar complaints.

CCC

4998072

Since the Princess's attempt to have Twilight 'make some friends' has essentially failed,

Since Twilight's cutie mark has changed in this history (to a simple book), it's possible that she might retroactively never have been the Princess' student...

Twilight Sparkle turns herself into a background pony.

I literally did a double take when I saw this. :rainbowkiss:

Wow, that was... really good.

That was a fantastic story. I've seen other "What would happen if Twilight wasn't the Element of Harmony/student of Celestia" fics, they usually make her some archivist in the Canterlot library, and they don't really delve into her personality. This one does go into detail about how Twilight feels, her situation and also her attitude, but showing it more than telling it. Great examination of Twilight's character.

This feels very much like how Twilight would end up if she had never been chosen for anything. (Presumably she saw a "Librarian Wanted" ad in Canterlot and took this position to be head librarian somewhere). It reminds me a lot of a classic Star Trek TNG episode, Tapestry, where Picard starts off the episode wishing he hadn't been such a hellion in his youth, and thanks to Q sees that if he hadn't been pushed into making some bad decisions, Picard would have ended up a mid-level bureaucrat. A similar concept is here, but Twilight doesn't really understand what she's given up. I doubt you will continue this story, but if you do, since it was Q who helped Picard fix things, you could use his FiM expy (Discord) to do so in this story.

5085086 Yeah, I wanted it to be more exploratory (though that is ultimately why EqD ended up rejecting it), because there's too many stories that easily reverse changes in order to deliver a moral. Glad it worked :twilightsheepish:

One of my prereaders actually mentioned that episode (is there any plot Star Trek hasn't done? :rainbowlaugh:). Ultimately, I can see the similarities, but that episode uses the classic trope where everything returns to normal at the end (justifiably, I suppose, since the same thing also created those changes), and I really wanted to avoid that.

5086386 I'm glad you don't change things back, I think it makes the story stronger.

This story is definitely something else... I wonder why EqD rejected it...

Freedom includes the freedom to choose mediocrity.

4950768

Yeah, this story is interesting, but it doesn't really have an arc. It's kind of just "Existentialism- the fic". Can we maybe get another chapter or two to flesh out a proper third act?

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