• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 3rd, 2019

The Princess Rarity


Quirky teenage girl who writes about cartoons & has an obsession with sparkly things & cute dorks. Goes through life following by Dr. Seuss's wise words; "You have to be odd to be number one."

E

When the students of Ponyville Elementary are asked to write an essay on what they're most thankful for, one report stands out among them all...

Scootaloo is a filly who's had a lot of ups and downs in her life, especially for somepony so young. She knows the meaning behind a lot of words regarding emotion, because she's felt them - deep down. Loneliness, confusion, wonder and happiness. And so, for once, an assignment won't feel so much like actual work, even if she has to do it over the holiday...


this is a fanfic for Thanksgiving yo, but srsly guise where's teh fluff-n-feelz tag

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 84 )

may i just say that, though i have not read this yet, i look forward to it and enjoy all of your writing very much. please keep up the good work:pinkiehappy:

This is a fantastic story!!! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:
I would be very honored if this story were in this group: The MLP Fan Club: source of all good fics

I love how you impress me every time. :trollestia:

3547215 ...was that sarcasm? >_>
You *did* use a Trollestia comment.

3547226

Crap... I just love the trollestia. I use it as a Celestia smiley...

So no, it certainly wasn't sarcasm. I loved this!

Comment posted by daring x dash deleted Nov 28th, 2013

That was a wonderful story. Thank you for the great read, it was very heartwarming. Hearth warming? Nah, I'm not a pony.

..I'm not a pony. :fluttercry:

It was indeed a perfect Autumn day.

You're not supposed to capitalize names of seasons like "autumn".

"...which one?"

Shouldn’t that be a capital W? This is a new sentence, not a continuation of a previous one.

She was playing outside - on the swings, until she saw her two adoptive mothers approach the schoolhouse, looking to her to the teacher and back.

I think most people would use “looking from her to the teacher” instead of “looking to her to the teacher”.

I was actually astonished to the fact that it was one of the best essays in the class.

And I think most people would say “astonished by”, not “astonished to”.

"We appreciate it," the Element of Magic said as she took the folder, slipping it in her saddlebags.

You should probably simply call her “Twilight” or “the alicorn” or something. “The Element of Magic” is really an unnecessarily and awkwardly long name, and the fact that Twilight represents the Element doesn’t relate to the events of this story; you don’t need to bring up unnecessary information. I kind of feel the same way about your usage of “the Wonderbolt” and, to a lesser extent, “the Princess” to refer to Rainbow Dash and Twilight in narration.

I would seem so ... uncool!

"It ... baffled me, to be honest."

Huh. Did you put a space before each of these ellipses on purpose? It looks a little funny to me, but that's just my opinion.

3550233
3550465
3552034
What these guys said.

That was truly one of the best stories I have ever read. Absolutely wonderful. I won't be forgetting this fanfic for a long, long time. :twilightsmile:

Really, really good. My only suggestion is to set things up a little more. It took me a while to catch that Twilight and Rainbow were married, amd I think AJ and Rarity are dating, but I'm unsure. Fix the abruptness tjere, and you're gold.

3547524 I agree on part 5. Except that "the alicorn" doesn't work either. It's part of, and I quote "Lavender Unicorn Syndrome." Yes that's actually a thing. Check it out on the writing guide.

I know it doesn't have to do here. but... what happen when AJ introduce Rarity to granny smith?:rainbowhuh: just curious

Beautiful. You've given me the warm fuzzies I havn't had in months. Seriously, I can't remember the last time I read a fic that has melted my heart like this... Well, outside of My Little Dashie... Good job.

3547311
GTFO
Stupid christfags.
Enjoy your brainwashing.

thank you so much for this story if is very heartfelt and plus i love scootadopt stories espically if it involves rainbow dash my favorite pony and scoots is my third favorite:rainbowkiss::scootangel:

This story was hella cute. It was the first Princess Rarity fic I read and I will definitely read another. Was this one a squeal an early work? It certainly seemed like it.

Anywasy, I would also like to apologise to everyone here for having the following conversation in such a weird place.

3547311
I would like to respectfully oppose your position on same sex marriage. I don't think I could dictate another persons ideology, sexuality, lifestyle, and freedoms, over a religion that otherwise encourages compassion, understanding and the acceptance of all people. I am able to practice my religion because I'm protected from persecution, and I just wouldn't feel right if I used that freedom try to forcibly alter, or oppose, fundamental aspects of another persons identity.

3549267
Easy there mate. Lets tone it back a notch.

After reading this story... there's a lot wrong here.
This should not have gotten featured. :I

Toni. Woah. Fimfiction doesn't notify me you've posted a new story, and I have to find out about it from the Feature Box! :fluttershysad:

So sad but happy at the same time I don't know what to feel for this story..... happy? sad? I don't know Its just a good story to read before Thanksgiving
:heart:

I honestly don't know what to say about this fic...

It has some elements that I enjoy in FiMfics (scootadopt, a pleasant RD/Scoots relationship) , and a couple that I cannot stand (inter-mane 6 shipping, intentional spelling/grammar mistakes in a foal's school work).

The tone of the story was a little confusing. It didn't seem know whether to be a feels trip, or a happy story, and that held this fic back a little.

Overall: I give it a 7/10. Mainly due to the tone issues and the shipping involved just seems thrown in there for no reason other than to be there.

SHL

25.media.tumblr.com/c26b20d3523d58572c00a59fabfc6650/tumblr_mtzmeqC16Z1qcga5ro1_500.gif
Bravo, ThePrincessRarity, bravo.

Cute story so, so far, with very good elements. And the Scootalo's work, with the ortographic errors and everything.... Seriously, very great work.

In regards to my last comment I'm sorry look I don't know why I seed that but I deleted it so sorry.

3549715
Care to elaborate on that? I for one think this was a great story, indeed, very pleasant and overall a great read.

Nehhhhh...

This story is pure fluff, but it just didn't pull on my heartstrings at all. Why?

1) Pacing. In a story like this, the adorable essay about what you're thankful for is the height of the story; as such, it should come close to the end, rather than just stuck in the middle.

2) Fluffiness. A lot of the scenes were fluffy, and not in a good way - if you're going to tug on my heartstrings you gotta make me feel those big eyes and cute looks. I didn't get that at all. I got characters just talking about nothing of great interest to anyone. Seeing Scootaloo spend time with her family would have been much better than just hearing about it, and having them do adorable things together would be better.

3) Obviousness. I realized pretty quickly what the story was going to be about, and when you see an attempt at emotional manipulation as such, it loses its ability to actually manipulate your emotions as well. This is sometimes acceptable, but always a danger with stories like this.

Damn, this hit the feels. And Dash and Twi adopting Scoots is awesome is fuck.

Simple, straight forward and cute. Nicely done and well tinged for the spirt of the holiday. Good job!

pple Bloom joked, only before being playfully shoved by her friend. The earth pony filly rolled her golden eyes playfully, and continued

The quick repeat of the word "playfully" was slightly jarring. I would recommend removing/changing one of them.

The pacing could be touched up a bit but then again I'm one for lengthy stories. I need to appreciate a short one when it comes along. Overall I liked it and thought it was very sweet. Happy Thanksgiving! :twilightsmile:

liked and faved because this was just so sweet that I know I don't want to read this only one time. also, loving the song choice for your inspiration here. in fact, the story, if it was read like an epilogue to another story, almost reminds me of the ending montage to a certain movie that the song Little Wonders has to do with. irregardless, for writing such a good fic, I give you smiling mane six, happily interpreted CMC, and filling the rest with moustaches. :ajsmug::raritystarry::pinkiehappy::yay::twilightsmile::rainbowkiss::unsuresweetie::applecry::scootangel::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

This was very nice and warming essay. Although it doesn't really help that there isn't any struggle or conflict to make a story based around (to make it more emotional, or exciting), I think it's a pretty nice Thanksgiving story. Good work, not the best, not the worst

3550120
Since my original comment got downvote bombed for no fucking reason.
It's rushed. If they'd slowed the story down, described things, actually took time to write a story instead of whatever this is, this could be good.
As it is, this does not deserve featured box.

I loved it alot!
Apart from the rush, I think you should have slowed it down a tiny bit. I enjoyed it!
8/10 :pinkiehappy:

You made me cry. I am doing thumbs up, unclicking it, and then clicking it again multiple times. Now I am your follower. :raritywink::raritywink::raritywink::trollestia::trollestia::yay::twilightsmile:

This is such a cute story!!!!:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

3550465
You do realize it technically isn't the content of the story that gets it in the Feature Box, but the views, favorites, and likes? Technically, one could have a complete shit story and have it hit the FB, so long as it gets the needed likes, views, and faves. And, since this got those things, it deserves to be up there as much as anything else. You don't need an epicly good story, just a horde of followers.

And it got so many downvotes because you said this story sucks and doesn't deserve praise (that is how it comes off) but didn't say why.

Hmm...I don't really like the TwiDash part, the idea of one or more of the M6 adopting Scootaloo, OR Scootaloo calling RD 'Mom'...

But, alas, the fluff won me over. I say, old chap, good show, good show.

Eh... Sorry, but this didn't do it for me. It didn't feel like a STORY. Finding out that Twi and Dash are together came out of left field, the summary of the story, the climax, was in, like, the first half or third of the story, and, all in all... it just felt like a bunch of nothing. This could have easily been told in a thousand words as is, and... It just needs more work, IMO.

Of course, you had a deadline to meet, so I understand that, but... It could have been a lot more polished, and meant to mean something. As is, I didn't get hit by 'feels', which is what I thought this story was going to do, based on the description.

In short:

i.imgur.com/hSYDF.gif

Rairjack at the beginning? Yeshh. But you talk about Granny as if she didn't know they have been dating the whole time. Granny, knows, everything. Twidash is also good.
Good job, my only concern is a lack of conflict. But you did okay without it.

When i saw the chapter title i had play the song while reading it and my heart melted....:pinkiehappy:

MAH FEELS!!!! YOU FOUND THEM!!!!!!

That title doesn't really show the adorableness of the writing piece. The description doesn't either. This is a cute story and the title/description just aren't the same quality as the rest of the story. The first line is good, though. Maybe "Something To Be Thankful For" as the title? And the description you could say "Scootaloo has spent many years wishing that she had something that nearly everypony else had. When she finally gets the one thing she's always wanted, she can't help, but be a bit thankful. Cheerilee's latest assignment makes her think about exactly how thankful she really is." That's just my suggestion. It could use some work, but it captures the feel of this story a bit more. Cute story! :heart:

I felt like it didnt have enough explanation, but also too much. We would spend little time on getting to know why things were as they were, and more on little details that didn't add to the story. Also, I've seen this premise done better with fewer words, which I think better fits the type of emotional response you were aiming for.

Example

To make this story better, it either needs to be fleshed out with more chapters to better pace the new info, or it needs to be streamlined with less important information (like everything having to do with applebloom and sweetie belle's thanksgiving) taken out since it takes away from what the story needed to focus on.

When you said, "la fin" at the end, I think the proper way to do that is "el fin," and though my skills in the placements of pronouns and sentence structure and grammar in Spanish aren't exactly great, my knowledge of these things is enough to carry out a limited and basic conversation... If I remember correctly, the "la, los, unas, una" is feminine, and mixed gender or genderless objects are referred to with the masculine "el, eres, uno, unos," and since "fin" means "end," it is genderless and therefore should be masculine.

I might not be right, and I'm probably being a grammar nazi, but I have a few issues with perfectionism... To put this to an end, your story is simply brilliant! Keep on writing, my friend! :twilightsheepish::heart: :derpytongue2:

Thanks and a good day to you if you read this far down! :pinkiehappy::twilightblush:

3550465 I thought the reason it got downvoted was quite clear. You said the story was bad without providing any constructive criticism whatsoever. Many people like to live by the philosophy that if you have nothing nice or helpful to say, then just don't say anything at all.

I like this story. It's short and simple, but powerful nonetheless. This is earning a spot on my list of honored stories and on my (digital) bookshelf.

3552605 Actually, genderless objects can be either masculine or feminine. Such as la juventud (youth) or el cuaderno (notebook). However, numbers, days of the week, months of the year, and names of geographic things are generally masculine, and letters of the alphabet are feminine. Also, masculine nouns usually end in -o (which the exception of the endings -ma, -ta, and -pa) and feminine nouns usually end in -a ( or -ción, -dad, -tad, -tud, -ie, and -umbre). Sadly though, there are exceptions, such as la mano (hand), which is feminine, and la día (day), which is masculine. You only ever are sure of a noun's gender when you know the definite article, with 'el' being masculine and 'la' being feminine.

With all that said though, you are supposedly right, according to a very quick Google search. :pinkiesmile:

(Although I would take that with a grain of salt. Never can be certain with the Internet.:applejackunsure:)

D'awww, this was a very cute and heartwarming story. It was well worth the read, and makes me want to check out your other work, which is exactly what I'm going to due. Keep up the good work and I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving :heart: which was probable better then my day since it wasn't a holiday up here in the great white north, but regardless I hope you had a wonderful time.

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