- Member Since 13th Mar, 2013
- offline last seen Feb 19th, 2017
Eternal Aviator
One man's 'magic' is another man's engineering. 'Supernatural' is a null word. ~Robert A. Heinlein
Eternal Aviator
Joined 13th Mar, 2013 ·
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i liked it.
That story was nice I like!
3541892>>3541875
Glad to hear (or see in this case) that!
that was preety cool. i totally expected them to react like that!
3542041
Didn't we all?
3542111
I wish you found a reason for them to watch more. It would have been interesting to see their reaction.
3542853
If enough requests come in for it, I'll make a second chapter.
Grammar can use some polishing. Although I have to ask how Celestia knows they're called humans when the soldiers never said that. Or how the planet is called Earth for that matter.
Otherwise an okay one shot.
3542972
Well, kind of the idea is that Celestia and Luna had been studying the humans for a little while. A point which I'll have to make more clear in the story, but I guess by reading this comment you know now...
3543046 I thought that might be the case, but if it was how come they didn't know anything about our wars? I mean you don't have to view a battle to understand people die in our wars.
3543058
*Sigh* Okay, more info...
They knew there were wars, just not what they were like and how intense they really are.
3543058
Just gimme a sec!
3543076
Also may I suggest double spacing the paragraphs and lines of speech so it's less of a wall of text and easier to read? Basically everywhere you have an indent you should've also double spaced so the paragraph or line of speech above isn't right on top of it.
Makes it like 30 times easier to read.
3543114
Objective Received.
3543114
I actually think it looks fine the way it is though.
3543181 It's okay, but it would be better with double spacing.
There are stories much, much worse however. So don't be too bothered by it.
3543198
Alright, thanks, man.
NEEDS TO EXPANDED MORE
I was hoping the Havoc attack would be there. And the part where they are in the car under water. It would be interesting to see their reactions to that chaotic scene and then Dunn's sacrifice.
War is a gruesome thing. Especially when viewed through the eyes of a Spec Ops soldier.
3544711
That would've been neat.
As I said before; if enough request comes in for it, I'll make a second chapter.
3545698
SPOILER ALERT
I've already completed the campaign, but think of everyone ELSE!
3545698
Forgive me, but I'll have to delete that comment.
3546080 perhaps I should have said *ahem* "SPOILER ALERT!" Plus there's no spoiler tag on the site so... here we are.
3546089
True, true... Sorry bout' that.
Either way, that definitely would've been a good part, thanks for the idea.
3546113 if you do continue it would be awesome to see you do all the missions, especially the scenes that show how down to earth Irish was with that part in mission 2 and the beginning of 3. And to tell you the truth I haven't finished the game but I have seen the achievement/trophy list so I know that there are 3 different endings.
3546238
If I do more than one chapter, it won't involve all the missions, but some of the ones where Irish is challenged.
3546334 or at least they've seen some one of the brutish acts of war, but it'd be nice to see them see some of the things that actually make us human. We both know of some sections of both of those since you've completed the campaign.
3546363
Yeah I see what you mean.
3546373 ok that's good since I had no idea if I wrote that clear enough or not.
Cripes man, congrats on the popular box. Soon....maybe you'll hit the golden box as well.....
3546976
Really? I didn't even know I was in the popular box in the first place...
3548776 You where....
I was expecting the story to cover the whole mission at least but hey good story.
3552377
If I make a second chapter, it'll finish up that mission.
3552451
That is good to hear!
3552675
Also I like your profile picture.
Nice! I wouldn't mind reading more like it. I see you and me share the "Human master race" mindset.
You have got to continue this man. Please? I'll start you off, 'Celestial all of a sudden heard a loud crash, the sound of a building falling. Fearing the worst she ran to the windows, yet recoils to see Canterlot perfectly fine. Then, she heard a moan of pain, and pin ponied where the noise came from, her sister's quarters. "Luna?! Are you all right?!" she rushed into the moon princess's room, only to see sadness on her face, and the device on.'
Please continue this story, please.
3555729
Heh heh, I appreciate the idea, but it may not play out like that. You'll see in the second chapter.
3555816 plase let it be longer please
they shold try to investigate why the war commenced and if they could aid in stopping it, and i was expecting more curiosness from Twilight and Celestia
I like this.
Mmmmmm yes, more would sooth my nipple core reactors just swell.
I am a bit late to this party, but job well done.
Do go on my friend
3582006
Nipple core reactors...?
And will do, my friend.
My suggestion is, have Celestia leave for a spell (as in relaxation) while Luna 'destroys' the device, but before Luna begins dismantling it, have her grow a bit curouis, and have her turn it back on. maybe by then, they are walking into the factory for their extraction. (Near the end, when the smoke tower collapses, that can be when Celestia comes back in, and she watches in stunned silence as the rest of it plays out; all the way until the ledge wrecker is on collapses)
That is my suggestion, instead of just ending it. but hey, whatever you decide to do, this was still good if you keep it as a one-shot. but it isn't as good as I could('ve) be(en).
3582136
Maybe... Maybe...
Also I think you mean curious. Not curouis.
Its stuff like this we need more of! Ponies' reactions and opinions on the wars we face compared to the peaceful land they live in. I can't wait for chapter 2!
Nice. Though this is marked incomplete, so... you might wish to change that so people don't misinterpret it's status even if they did read the A/N.
I think this needs a 100 likes, so I'll help you with that.