• Member Since 13th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 19th, 2017

Eternal Aviator


One man's 'magic' is another man's engineering. 'Supernatural' is a null word. ~Robert A. Heinlein

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Disclaimer: If any of you people dislike this story just because it doesn't have the M1-A2 Abrams but instead the T-90MS, just stick around a little longer. This idea will be explained in the story.

My name is Captain Robert Shaffer. I'm the commander of my tank and it's crew, Sandstorm. Me and the rest of my convoy were dispatched on a mission that took us deep into the Sahara Desert. It was nothing but sand that I saw, I couldn't see more than five feet in front of me. We had been sent out into the fray to search for a shipment that crashed carrying important cargo. Little did I know, my demise would be sooner than I thought... But after what is supposed to kill me and my men, we find ourselves trapped in a hostile and unforgiving new world.

I just want to give a shout out to our brave United States military soldiers who face the fiercest situations, knowing every day could be there last, to keep us our freedom. May they have our full respect and gratefulness.

This isn't a crossover with anything, just another military in Equestria. Constructive criticism is wanted, but nice compliments are also appreciated.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 99 )

The U.S. Marines don't get ordered around by anybody! Oorah!

I'm pretty sure any Marine in the entire world can be ordered around by anyone higher ranked than them.

While I admit this does have some potential, I just need to point out a few things.

Hearing him clearly I ducked back into the cabin of my trusty T-90MS main battle tank, which me and my crew had nicknamed Sandstorm.

If you're writing about a US tank battalion, then the T-90 is an incorrect choice, the M1A1 Abrams tank would be the correct choice.

Two men wielded M249 LMGs (Light Machine Gun), one carried a FGM-148 Javelin on his back with a G36K assault rifle in his hands, and fout carried a ACW-R assault rifle, a SCAR-L, or a M15A4.

Guns that should not be there: the G36K and the "ACW-R" (a quick Google search of the term brings up a page for the Adaptive Combat Rifle). M15A4? I think you mean M16A4. Plus you misspelled four.

Final verdict: Military in Equestria fics are my favorite and it gets even better when their tanks and vehicles come along. But I highly recommend correcting the mistakes and doing some research in the future.

A promising chapter but just one mistake.

"Hell no." I replied before undoing and throwing open the hatch, my FNX-45 Tactical in my other hand.

The FNX-45 is incorrect. A more accurate choice would be the Beretta M9.

Personally, I think its going a little too fast. Maybe switch to Shining's POV. For example, you could have wrote about him receiving reports of the tank approaching the city and ordering the royal guards to get ready to fight it if necessary. But just my opinion.

I'll like and fave this, but I highly recommend fixing the errors.

3508884
Alright, thanks for the advice. I'll get right on those errors. And regarding my choice of vehicle of the T-90MS, I just thought it would be nice to try something different, plus it's my favorite tank.
3508757
Well yeah, but in Equis? Nothing has official if any authority over them, but thanks for pointing that out anyways.

3508970
In case you didn't know, the FNX-45 Tac. is a real gun. Like I said about the T-90MS, I'm using different materials than most other stories (I know of). And your idea with different first-persons, I was actually going to do that next chapter, but thanks for the suggestion.

Pretty good, except for plenty of grammar errors.

3509648
Would you be willing to pinpoint at least a few of them so I can make changes? I'm hoping to maybe reverse some of the down votes here or just get more up votes.

Medieval weaponry in the 1800s? A bit suprised no one pointed this out yet; the medieval times are around the 800s - 1300s or somewhere in that range. The 1800s already saw us gunpowder weaponry, ironclad battleships, and many other things. Crossbows, and bows were sparesly used during this time, and swords started losing its popularity. I'm also pretty sure people didn't use spears during the Civil War (1860s).

Also, you wouldn't threaten someone during first contact, would you? That's a terrible choice and would probably have terrible potential lashback. The last part might need a bit of work for that.

All in all, I do enjoy the story, but some of the errors I see here are a bit major. I advise you to fix them.

-Powers

Looking good so far, but why are they using a Russian tank if they're US?

Before I even start reading this story, which I have high hopes for... that cover picture... badass... xD

I haven't even read the story yet, but there is one little thing that irks me. "Sahara" or "الصحراء الكبرى‎" is Arabic and roughly translates to "The Great Desert". So, calling it "The Sahara Desert" means you're literally saying, "The Great Desert Desert".

It's small. It's insignificant. But it bugs the hell outta me.:twilightangry2:

Lol, who doesn't know that song!?

Good chapter, and I must say, I will await chapter 3. saying that now, cuase I will shortly finish chapter 2 xD

So... uh... they go from being in a desert, where it is hot as heck, and now, they are freezing in the snow, and nobody questions it? And after falling down a sinkhole too?

I know some marines aren't all that... bright. but even they would think something of it. Other than that, it just got interesting.

3510993
I'm just making things a little earlier, as stated before, and at some point I'm pretty sure the U.S. will acquire a tank like it at some point. :/
3511434
I know right? Part of my inspiration to write this came from that picture.
3511568
Okay, never thought if it that way, but I'll fix it if more people comment about it.
3511648
Interesting you should bring that up, but for the Crew of Sandstorm, now's isn't really the time for asking about that kind of stuff...

How did they see the Tiger on their systems if it has stealth?

I also find it funny that saying 'The Sahara Desert' translates into 'The Great Desert Desert'. :rainbowlaugh:

3514174
That........ Is a very good point. I'll edit that part when I have time.

3514325Yeah, and why are the Europeans getting involved? From the wikipedia page, it said that only countries in Eastern-Europe use it. I know they got involved in 3 places including Afgan, but if they attacked, wouldn't that be a war crime?

3514348
Alright, alright, slow down. Some of the things you've mentioned are going to to explained in the future chapter(s), but since they're not here yet, I can understand your want for the info.

If i was surrounded by irate, talking equines, armed with sharp, pointy objects. The last order I would give as a commander would be to leave the safety of my depleted uranium, mobile fortress. Nonetheless, a fun read so far though. I'll give you a fav.

3514357Alirght, I just thought that that was a mistake or something. :twilightsheepish:

3521762
Heh, I was waiting for that to catch someone's attention!

I liked it better when it was attacking the ponies, surrendering to the ponies is just the standard cliche.

3524519
Yeah, but who knows? The tables could turn at any moment for the crew of Sandstorm...

3524969 Hehehe... The Royal Guard meets true soldiers and the race that evolved off of War. :pinkiecrazy:

Why did you choose the T-90MS MBT and not the M1A1 Abrams:derpyderp2:

3525477
Well, the T-90MS is my most favorite tank there is. Plus in my opinion the T-90MS is a generally better tank than the M1-Abrams series... (Feel free to hate me for that.)

It's looking great so far! I'm adding this to my watchlist.

On another note: I caught a minor error.

"Like seriously. We're surrounded by little ponies carrying mid evil time weaponry inside the weirdest looking city ever." Stated Nathan.

, 'mid evil time' here should be 'Medieval time' or Medieval era'.

Keep it up! I'm looking forward to more.

3530781
Bro, apaprently you and me have a lot in common. I randomly found the Tanks group, joined it, and seen you name right away.................. I think I'm accidentally stalking you :rainbowderp:

In my opinion, Curb Stomper is a name that should be given to a combat vehicle, I think. Like a tank. Come to think of it, why is an MRAP fighting alongside tanks? Shouldn't it be away from tanks?

So, after attempting peaceful relations and being rebuffed, they are going to leave their machine? He just said you're considered a threat, do you honestly believe you won't be locked up or executed by the stupid xenos? Not that they would succeed, but still. Better to just stay in your tank and back up to leave, or just sit there with the engine off stubbornly. If ponies get squished, well good riddance. Nobody needs anyone too stupid to get out of the way of a tank in the gene pool.

3714083
Don't worry, don't worry. Not everything may go as planned for the ponies...

3510993 Probably captured or just author's choice. You pick. :derpytongue2:

Quick question: Do you have the fuel situation sorted out?

3718518
That would be correct, i was probably gonna explain that in chapter 3, but here you go.

3718719 Like if you plan on continuing the story, would a somewhat reliable source of fuel be needed?

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