• Member Since 17th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 16th, 2016

ed2481


Sequels1

Comments ( 3277 )

I have been waiting for this! Favorited and will be read later, gotta go to school.

interesting... very interesting...
I'll be keeping an eye on this.:eeyup:

Comment posted by rainbowPOOTIS deleted Oct 10th, 2013

I love the premise, we need more of these stories. Keeo it up!

Added to read later. Was waiting for this to show up. Also FUK YEA it always feels good to see my own coverart used.

The lone wanderer not so lonely anymore.

INSTANT FAVE!!!

quite interesting i can say.
keeping an eye on it.

Good so far, I await more.

3326672 Don't suppose you've heard of a series of books called The Saga of Seven Suns have you? Coz if this stories cover-art is anything to go by, you're a good artist and I was wondering if you'd do a little cover-art for a crossover fic I'm rolling around the idea of?

I'm really enjoying your writing style, it has an excellent balance of description and character. Also, I applaud your decision in regards to Luna's speech; I'd much rather see her speak normal English well than try to speak in Middle English and botch it.

There were a few spelling things I noticed. "Peaked" is spelled with two "e"s if you want it to mean that they were looking at something. "She peeked around the corner". When someone first sees something, it is their first "sight" of it, as opposed to "her first site of the super duper mart".

Overall, I'm really pleased with the story. Please continue.

I don't usually read Human stories on FIMFiction cause I don't care for HiE's, but since this is a POE (Pony Outside Equestria), I'll make an exception. .:pinkiehappy:

Acting as editor? Does that mean you need one? also lol an editor for ed. pretty sure I laughed harder than I was supposed to at that.

It's good so far, just one thing that I noticed, It's not Moria, it's Moira. Other than that, I'm pretty interested in this.

"What if during the final battle against Celestia, Nightmare Moon was not sent to the moon, but instead to the Capital Wasteland."

It should be: "..Capital Wasteland?" It's a question, not a statement. (This is in your blurb, by the way).

If you need help editing, don't be afraid to hit me up!

"Darn tootin'!"

-Gizmo the Unimpressive

Awesome story. I love Fallout 3 and caught your reference to the Firelance. Carry on writing/editing/making this awesome story.

Have to go to class, will read, and probably like, later.:pinkiesmile:

Okay, now that I've had time to read this; good start, nice to see someone who's not Ethan-levels of jackass or OP from you (no offense; he's still awesome, just good to see variety), and while the start is somewhat plain it establishes things fairly well and leaves a lot of time/space shenanigans open to occur due to the gaps in timelines between the present of Equestria and the ending of F3.

Anyway; faved, upvoted, and waiting for more. Not bad ed. :pinkiehappy:

Noticing some bias right off the bat:

"Luna and Nightmare Moon must work together to make their way home and reclaim the throne that is rightfully theirs."

Soooooo... rising up in rebellion and threatening to cause eternal night just because your pissy about not getting enough attention is proper justification now, eh?

If you don't mean it that way, might want to reword it a bit. :raritywink:

3329224

It's telling their opinion of the situation, it's not my bias right there, it's theirs and is compleatly intentional :twilightsmile:

YOU MOTHERFUCKER! :flutterrage: Why? :fluttercry: Why? :raritydespair: You always write the best stories and I can't read them all.

Seconds ticked by like hours and she called up VATS to double check her aim, 85%, good enough.

Nooooo, you're doing it again.

Stahp. This is a copout and we discussed this long ago. Remember when VATS ruined some of your previous story? Just have basic firefights rather than using the game's mechanisms to avoid them. A longer battle is a much more interesting one, even if the readers have to droll their way through it. If anything, resort to adrenaline when in the heat of a big firefight. Not the same as VATS, but, Sarah will react much quicker then normal and it's much more believable.

Just don't use it too much. Big firefights. Remember that.

Other than that, it's good so far.

3329855

I figured that as long as I didn't actually stop time, which I didn't (she's just 'in the zone') it would be fine. She's not going to be able to freeze the fight, she was just double checking her aim (I probably phrased it wrong :derpyderp2:)

And thanks, I hope you continue to enjoy it :twilightsmile:

3329978

Yeah, the phrasing is what put me off. I'm fine with the Pip-Boy telling her how accurate her shots may be based on her current conditions, considering the Pip-Boy reads bio-metric data.

3329986

Okay, I'll work on the phrasing in the future, now I just have to decide on when to release the next chapter...

3330015

Na, I got featured in a matter of around an hour and a half, I think that calls for some celebration :pinkiehappy:

3329305 Ah, it can be interpreted the other way, though. Maybe switch the words a bit so it's more abundantly clear that it's their opinion?

Maybe: ...reclaim the throne that they believe is rightfully theirs.

That takes away the slight ambiguity. :twilightsmile:

It appears to be less "ripping" and more "Copy-Pasting"

I wasn't expecting the whole Luna/Nightmare Moon tandem to be pulled off well, but I was pleasantly surprised at how they work together, instead of Luna just trying to force her out. Maybe she can't. Schizophrenia? I'm sensing that Nightmare will probably do an important thingy at some point, but I guess I'll have to wait. Great chapter, though!

3330290

Thanks for the feedback. I tried really hard to make sure that it works well and it's good to hear that it's working :pinkiehappy:

3330290 gonna have to agree with you on that one bro, no im wondering what this important thingy is, maybe at some point luna's unconcious and nightmare comes out to give details on a important plot device foreshadowing thing.....hmm..............

Comment posted by The Lonesome Sniper deleted Oct 11th, 2013

It’s done, breath easy breathes,

Should be:

It's done. Breaths. Easy breaths.

3330776

Ah, thanks man :twilightsmile:

Any other thoughts?

(Yes I know I'm an opinion addict)

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