• Member Since 17th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 16th, 2016

ed2481


Comments ( 1267 )

Hope springs forth eternily. As long as there hope, there's a way.

Seriously Captain JackDaw, not sure if that counts as one or two references.

The time distortion between Equestria and the Capital wasteland has seriously changed, i mean it was already slowing down towards the end of the first fic but now it is 1:4 in favour of Equestria. Is there an in-fic explanation for this or is it mysterious Author powers over time and space? perhaps something to do with relationships (Friendship IS magic after all) across universe boundaries bringing them closer?

So this is where the DLCs will be!

....

Shit is gonna hit the fan. A LOT of shit. With A LOT of fans.

4551432 It could be Luna herself that caused it..Her being forced through and dragged back could have caused them to sync up..

“I knew a dragoness, cute little thing with orange scales,” Jackdaw replied, smirking. “She started out wanting to eat me, and by the end of the day, she really had.”

Oh I do like him , I really do. I can see him giving Sarah some fine wine and prod her into Lu's room with a big grin

this is going to be good!!!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: please let sarah and luna be happy together at the end please?????????????:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

I'm totally going to have to use that Thu'um converter for something. It may end up forcing me to rewrite a significant portion of what I'd currently written for a story, but it'll work out.

Woohoo sequel! I gotta admit, I never got quite used to how ruthless Celestia is in this universe, but no biggie. Onto the next chapter I go!

Well, not much to say about this chapter since it is a prologue. It was written well, as most of your work is. The modified Canterlot Wedding made a lot more sense than the show's did. I can tell that the Royal Guard aren't incompetent. Luna has adjusted well back to life in Equestria, but you still made moments of sentimentality believable. Great start, Ed. Decapitation/10.

4551459 dont you mean the entire manure silo is going to to hit the turboprop?

It seems Mothership Zeta was a big Noodle Incident for them. So, from what they've said, The Pitt, Mothership Zeta, and maybe a bit of Broken Steel have been done. That leaves Operation: Anchorage, and Point Lookout. I kind of want to see how the simulation would effect Nim.

Hooray! Honestly I thought Anshur running the place was a pretty bad idea, even with the structure he provided. Even if he cures the people of The Pitt of their radiation and whatnot, the master-slave relationship isn't likely to just up and disappear when everything is all said and done. I guess we'll see what Lyons has to say about it when we see 'em though. Hope to see more soon!:rainbowwild:

captian Jackdaw only gives further weight to my question. Why is there not enough dragoness romance/clop on this site?:twilightangry2:

4551633
Well it said last chapter she had a advanced tech-y sword, which is most likely the shock sword. I feel like Sarah has done all of the DLCs by now, and just finished The Pitt

Fleur Des Lee

Should be changed to "Fleur De Lis." I could be wrong; I only speak English and German, but I'm pretty sure that Fleur Des Lee is incorrect.

Oh boy here we go. I see what conflict you're setting up here, and it's probably one of the better options. Your portrayal of Chrysalis was stereotypical, truthfully, but I was pleasantly surprised at how you went about setting up the Changeling society. Making drones more like robots was not expected, but it seems they can still think freely. You did a fantastic job of writing Chrysalis as someone who is cunning, but still uses her drones to her advantage. It's kind of cool, really. The drones are an extension of Chrysalis, but since they are partially their own person, another mind can think alongside Chrissy. It's different than 95% of other stories, but intuitive and creative nonetheless.

Luna's little tantrum was a good way to open up her actions in the story, as it continues her resolve from Wandering Moon. I caught your little hint at how Sarah will be brought to Equestria, as well.

Something living and magical in nature was required upon the other end.

That's where Nim comes in, I bet. And, since Nim is inside of Sarah... But I digress; I'm going to assume that Jackdaw was the smiling thestral from the end of WM, and possibly inspired by Assassin's Creed? Although, your description of him does match the actual bird, so I could just be nerdy. Anyways, I really like his character thus far. He seems to be the foil to Tornado Kicker, brandishing a much less stoic personality as a personal guard. You did address Jackdaw's hiring as a result of Luna's liking his personality compared to other guards. My guess is that Luna took a liking to Jackdaw because he reminds her of Sarah. It's clever and sublime. His jackassical approach to his job is humorous, and I especially enjoyed the story of learning the Thu'um. Their banter feels natural, and while Luna can't reciprocate the humor as well, you wrote their conversation very fluidly.

As for Celestia's portion of the chapter, you gave some insight into current affairs in Equestrian politics. My guess is that having Changelings as allies might cause some conflict later in the story, but this is only chapter one. It was funny how Tornado Kicker whined about hosting a queen, since it is OOC for him.

Sarah's section was short, but you packed a lot of content into it. So far, I can tell that Sarah has done a ton of stuff in six months. All the DLC, I presume. I hope she picked up some new toys in the Adams Air force Base, or some other DLC locale. It seems that her and Nim's relationship has gone much further without Luna around. As I pointed out in my review of Wandering Moon's last chapter, Nim doesn't want Luna to come back anymore, since Sarah will immediately go back to her. I can tell that this'll cause conflict later in the story, and possibly put Sarah in the middle of a conflict she won't want to be in. Solid first chapter. All in all, this chapter gets a Surprise Anal Probe/10.

Luna scowled at him for a moment longer before letting out a sigh. Captain Jackdaw, Jack to his friends, was Luna’s personal guard. He was devilishly handsome and to Luna’s surprise had both the wit and the skills to match his looks.

because Captain Jack Harkness is copy-write Hmm?

ok, so far from what ive seen DLC wise, broken steel had of course been done, Zeta, anchorage (the sword), and now the Pitt, that leaves Point look out.

and you know what? i think i know how sarah is gonna get to equestria from crysalis's plan.

the Book and the Dunwitch building.

i would go into more detail but i kinda want see where this goes. lets just say that it may be the anchor.

Half of me wants to see Chrysalis dissected in the secret labs under Canterlot, the other half wants me to order pizza.... Decisions... Decisions...

4551755

Fleur Des Lee

Should be changed to "Fleur De Lis." I could be wrong; I only speak English and German, but I'm pretty sure that Fleur Des Lee is incorrect.

Oui.

I should really finish Wandering Moon first :pinkiegasp:

So we know that Sarah has at least done Anchorage and is finishing The Pit now.

The Perforator, Jingwei's Shocksword, and Hell-Fire armour I know, but what's that last weapon she's carrying?

4551781 Oh the Dunwich building, that place was fucking messed up! *Shudders*

4551755
4551845
No, it is spelled differently 'canon' than the actual French spelling. Both of you and Ed got it wrong

This is her actual name, as far as we know.


Ah, so I can count out Zeta as well, and can assume that Broken Steel is over with too. So, The Pitt is the last one? Finally, Sarah can do all those pesky side-quests!

4551767
since when has that ever stopped us?
that being said, i hope there is ALOT of Jackdaw in this story...

MPLX Novasurge Please.Best weapon in Fallout3 imo anyway you get it from mothership Zeta which has finally been gotten to by Sarah. I really wonder what Kind of hell Sarah will give the changelings once she arrives?:rainbowdetermined2:

4551924 Probably Luna's sword from the last story.

Hmmmm, Book 2 is here, partially anyway.:moustache:

SQUEE!:yay:

4551781 Good thought, but reread chapter one, its hinted pretty heavily how Crysalis is gonna get Sarah.
4551432 Ed has said in the past that time passes as the plot demands.
4551676 personally i like me some Diaries of a Madman, has plenty of dragon clop in there, as well as other kinds.
4551890 Absolutely.

Wait, Mothership Zeta was already done?!

YOU DIDN'T ADD THE PONY WORSHIPING ALIENS?!
JUST-WHAT-WHY?:raritydespair::raritydespair:

Well, we still got the Dunwich building and the Krivbeknih for them I guess.

4551781 Methinks the sword is actually Dawnbreaker, not Jingwei's shocksword. It got left behind, remember?

4552477

the technological marvel of a sword at her hip, not to mention the large one strapped to her back.

She's got both

4552489

Ah, m'kay.

Still, y u no zeta in story?
Their fascination with ponies could have lead somewhere interesting.
Like, an apparent invasion of Equestria, only it turns out they are there to worship them. :pinkiehappy:

4552477 After completing the Anchorage Reclamation simulation in Operation: Anchorage, a sealed armory is unlocked in the Outcast outpost which contains several add-on exclusive weapons and armor. Jingwei's shocksword is in the cache located at the back of the room behind the winterized T-51b power armor. The sword is not actually left behind.

i havent finished the original story but i really want to read this also WOW BARELY A DAY AND ITS ALREADY FEATURED

4552852

Half an hour and it was in the box if I remember correctly :twilightsmile:

I have a feeling bringing Sarah with Nim still in her is going to backfire against Chrysalis. Since Nim and Luna are linked, she will get a message out to Luna. And with Nim being a magical being, she is already affecting Sarah(pointy ears); with more magic around, maybe Sarah would get some type of powers as well. This is all speculation though.

Spacecowboy
Story Approver

Your time dilation factor is really... off quite a bit. But hey, onward.

4552361 like dragon or dragoness? specifics man.:trixieshiftright:

Spacecowboy
Story Approver

Yup. the time dilation seems extremely odd, you've got 2.5 yrs to .5 yrs, but before that it was something like 1,000 years to 3 weeks or so, which comes to 1,000 years to 0.057 years.

Plus, it sounds as if Nim might've been making another change or two to Sarah, there was an off-handed remark about her eyes there in the first chapter. Overall, it seems to be an intriguing start, you've got your obvious conflict, and I'm certain that there's going to be quite a few subtle lines opening up as time passes. You've got a pretty solid knack for making things adventure-y, so I have a feeling that things won't ever get too boring for us readers.

Keep up the excellent work, Ed.

4551981
It's a Wiki. I could log on and change her name to Sparklefarts if I felt like it.

Huh... You completed the first one? Damn... I'm not sure if I'll ever manage to catch up. :applejackunsure:

YES!

Sequel time! I gotta say I like how this started out, good work man, legit.

SECOND CHAPTER HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

YES!

Sequel time! I gotta say I like how this started out, good work man, legit.

SECOND CHAPTER HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

4552968 mostly dragoness, HOWEVER, there is ONE scene where the main character and the dragon get genderbent, bit of a weird fic that one.

HMB

4551368 HAHAHA. I haven't seen this one for nearly a year!

Login or register to comment