If you're just here for the wet, squishy, orifice-stretching tentacle sex, you're looking for chapter 3— "Apology". But I can't say it'll make perfect sense without the context of the first two chapters.

...I don't even know...but I'm going to know.

DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!

4091460

Hast thou been enlightened?

I..

I..

I want to read it. But I'm afraid. Somebody hold me.

4091917

I'd hold you, but the last person I hugged for emotional support...

Well, let's just say I'm forbidden from going within 100 feet of them or their home...

This was the funniest thing I have read all week

Im just going to pretend I never saw this and move on with my life.

4092083

Thanks! That means my work here is done! Now I must go, as my planet needs me.

4092378

You cannot unsee the truth.

4092394 The truth will unsee you.

4092544

Well, I just stopped existing. Hope you're happy.

4092549 fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/364/f/4/pinkie_pie___all_according_to_plan_____by_yunguy1-d5ppww9.png

Ill reiterate what I said earlier.

WAT.

+1 though. Glorious piece of work, and moi wants more!

4092813

Holy hell where did you get the ideas for this?!

Oh, well it's simple, really! I-

I...

Uh...

Huh.

I'm not sure, actually. I know it began with the idea that Luna is a twisted pervert and Celestia's sexually repressed. Everything else just came out organically between August and November of last year. I would write a few hundred words and then take a week-long break.

You.

You sir.

I Like you.

I haven't grinned this much at sexual escapades since the opening chapters of Escort's Journal. This is HILARIOUS and awesome, and I demand more like this.

You get a fave, a like, a watch, and a mustache.

-Lapis Lazuli

dress plug , guess im gonna have to read to find out what that is lol....

Done with the first chapter and I DEMAND to know why I am only NOW reading this, dear god this is golden

4093010

I DEMAND to know why I am only NOW reading this

Blame my crippling, neurotic, self-doubt.

4092930

I demand more like this.

I'll do my best. My two main problems are my lack of confidence in my work and a tendency to go too dark. For example, in this story, when I got to Celestia's internal monologue in chapter 2, I ended up trailing off on depressing historical reflection for like 800,000 words, and it totally ruined the mood.

Wow this is fucking funny and arousing at the same time!
Good Job!

Is the poor Changeling getting neglected now?

4093929

I've never fully explored the role of the 'harem' in my fics, but Twilight meets Celestia's personal consort briefly in another fic of mine. She explains;

"There are other changelings living here... Others like me... And... There are a few ponies who live among us... Kind ponies... Ponies who we can help..."

The broader purpose of the harem is quite tragic, so I've left it unexplored because it would drag the mood of whatever story it was explained in way down. Between the quote above and some of Celestia's thoughts in this fic, you may be able to work it out, but it's meant to be subtle. The changeling won't starve, though; you have my word.

4093984
They comfort ponies who have are suffering from heartache? I think that's what I picked up, with death of the significant other for Celestia specifically.

4094025

More or less, yeah. Sometimes, when ponies lose loved ones, they can go catatonic. Celestia's empathy for those who have suffered such great loss is extensive, and she provides for them as well as she can, opting to let them live a few hours each day in hypnotically-induced bliss, rather than having them rot in a hospital bed, experiencing nothing.

Why am I seeing a large amount of stories with dates from months ago being featured?

4095334

Well, for this story, it's because although I uploaded and edited the text in November, I didn't submit it until yesterday. I'm the only person who's seen it before then.

I can't tell you what's up with any other stories, though.

What did Luna mean that Rarity has negative sexual energy? That doesn't sound right to me, I think a sexual experience with Rarity would be very positive. She is the Element of Generousity after all.

Now I really want to see Luna leading a campaign to spread ancient sexual attitudes across all Equestria. That would be fun to read.

4094148

Sounds like a service, honestly, but they'd have to be careful about who this treatment's administered to.

Sometimes, an illusion only makes the pain worse when it eventually breaks...

4095530

It makes more sense in light of two unpublished fics that chronicle Rarity and Applejack's relationship. Sex with Rarity can be good, but her obsession with social climbing, need for control, and emotional instability typically end up violently rending her intimate relationships. As we could see with the Trenderhoof incident, she still doesn't quite seem to know 'what love is for', but she's done a lot of growing in that respect since season 1, moving on from ponies like Blueblood (who she 'loved'only because he was royalty) to ponies like Trenderhoof (despite her fixation with his popularity and influence within the fashion industry, he did have some things in common with her. Unfortunately, he still turned out to be a total tool).

4096085

Yeah, the solution isn't exactly the most ethical one, which is part of why it's a secret. What's worse; a few of the ponies in that program would have eventually recovered with the proper treatment, and been able to return to a normal life (still having to live with the pain of having lost someone who meant so much), but being placed in the care of the changelings restricts their ability to heal. This is one case where Celestia is acting on her emotions instead of pure reason.

Strangely enough, I think I would have been far happier had the story ended at about chapter 1.5.

The sheer heel-turn you had to do to change Celestia's decision, neigh, personality, was ludicrous.

Before that, however?

Before that I haven't laughed that hard in a very, very long time.

4095551

That passage is meant to draw a distinction between what Celestia's been doing for the last 1.2 centuries and what she was in the middle of with Luna. Anyone can employ another living thing and command it to give pleasure in exchange for payment. The acts in chapter 3 were a matter of Luna loving Celestia and wanting to share pleasure with her.

4096141

Aye. Death be a sad event, but this probably just prolongs it. No wonder Celestia composes herself with so much logic and reason; emotions can make you do crazy things, even if it is done to prevent a pony from going catatonic.

Time heals all wounds, even if the healing hurts worse than the initial event.

complete reversal of the roles of the sisters. It certainly makes for an interesting read.
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/338/f/6/cool_story_kaiba_meme_generator_now_thats_what_by_fox_fire_vash-d6ws8pt.jpg

4096842

I'm afraid I'm already spoken for, but I do appreciate the notion, and will add you to my list of potential threesome participants.

[media=youtube]sI9KnAYtrSI[/media]

"Reverse Clopper"

So you're a reppolc?

4097595

Stealth clop, comin' to get ya!

4098150

Shit, I've been found out, RC to reppolc HQ, abort mission, I repeat, ABORT MISSION!

4098501
ABORT ABORT ABORT!

Phunny!

a giant writhing mass of blueberry flavored penises.

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/321/942/a7d.gif

- Christian 'I'll just be going now...' Harisay

4100945

Well, you are a headcrab zombie.

And I have found wepon.

4100955 I have headcrabs bekaws u let next boss step on me.

But then Combines came and put science in me and made me live and strong now.

PREPAIR TO DI.

- Christian 'If Brian ever cosplays as Gordon Freeman, I swear to God I'm going as John' Harisay

4107401

I'm really surprised...

Not that I made that typo in the first place, since I do remember writing that passage, and I'm sure I fell asleep within two sentences of typing that...

I'm surprised that I missed such a glaring error, having read through this story at least eighty times since then.

"Wrong! We're gonna keep going 'till you get it right!"

Well....
This is going to be a long and painful night.

Loved the dirty humor in this.

4108960

As long as the lube holds up, it gets easier after the first twenty insertions or so, but he is gonna be sore for a while.

4125617

In the first draft, Luna, Celestia, and the gentlecreature sat down for tea, then wrote silly comics to publish them in the paper under a pseudonym.

Honestly, I think it was a better story, but I changed my mind and I stand by that decision.

Chapters 1,2, and 4 are gloriously funny and amazing. I will need to contract NASA to help me find my sides.
Chapter 3 with the actual sex was a little meh. Nothing truly bad about it but i guess, it just didn't get me like the rest did.

4/5
Like awarded.

4131445

Yeah, it's terribly hard to be funny and sexy at the same time. I think part of what makes chapter 1 great is that, despite being entirely sexual, it's practically anti-sexy. Chapter 2 continues that by just being totally awkward and socially unacceptable.

Chapter 3's not for everyone... Even I only find it to be an exciting read some of the time.

a giant writhing mass of blueberry flavored penises

....Well... it's not like that's going to stop me....

This was hilarious for the first two chapters then it got weeeeiiiiiiird...
But DAMN it was hot!