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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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First and all i can say aboubt Miles is this... ow.
THAT'S gunna hurt. he was basiclly a punching bag in this chapter.
and again, PROOFREADER. you had "Elements of Magic" in one part instead of "Elements of Harmony", among other things.
Oh he's gonna feel that when he wakes up. And I can just imagine Lunas look of horror when he said that. Nice chapter.
you'r is supposed to be you're
I need moar
>"Your not Twilight"
>"Your not"
>"Your"
**YOU'RE**!! There were several of these in the chapter. Still didn't take anything away from the story, though. Can't wait for more.
What is it about this story that sucks me in.
"Why wouldn't we?" And that, in three words, explains humanity.
490841 RESPOND! (email)
491057
Sorry!
HE USED FIRE!!! :Da4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/18348_286197715317_286184760317_3982595_6509260_n.jpg
KUNG FU ACTION JESUS!
i have a friend who wants to visit chrysilis
and shes a real bitch
Am i the only one who's noticing just how much this guy passes out? it's at least once every few chapters so far.
491057 DAMN TALLEST calm down this is the second time (as far as I know I am responding to a comment 38 weeks in the past )
Is it just me, or does he pass out ALOT?
1977395 you mad bro?
Stop fucking passing out! Numb nuts!
1077458 that was fucking awesome.
"So whose the lucky guy that has your love?" I ask with a big smile on my face.
"Heh, he's this weird human that likes to blow stuff up."
"Sounds like quiet the charmer."
I stab into it over and over again as I let it scream into me (my?) side
3338306. Glad to see criticism from somebody with all the facts. I hate idiots that put down stuff in the story without looking at the full picture. This comment gets an A+ rating from me!
Quite passing out you pansy!
3778203 lol yep he is a glass canon or a paper flamethrower
Oh FOR FUCK'S SAKE!! CAN HE NOT STAY AWAKE AT LEAST ONCE?!?!
Fuck man. Get your shit together!
4046575 his awesomeness has a time limit. Equestria just cant handle it 24/7
-Fashionist Sparrow your leader in judging your clothing choice
491057
491057
Question mark.
491057
Add a comma after me?
491057
QUESTION MARK.
491057
With the addition of an exclamation mark, adding a question mark would be good.
Also, that period? QUESTION FUCKING MARK.
Wow Nipplefish...the worst grammar nazi i have ever seen...
4658559 At that point, she's not asking. She's stating the issues with words we usually associate with questions.
I think you meant cue there, Que is what in spanish but i am gussesing you meant Cue :3 have a good oneeeeee
-Frozen
Believe me, you didn't phase her a bit.
Chapter 46 - Power Of Ones Love: Please fix this. . . It's bothering me.
Yeah, Miles is definitely a glass cannon.
i love the plot of the story but really its just bad and rushed, the characters are off and everything
I see it being a recurring theme for Miles to pass out at the end of every other chapter.
This is written in a manner way too rushed. It gives the reader whiplash every 15 seconds and isn't detailed enough.
Okay, Miles falling unconscious is now purely comical. We need a counter for both total faints and most faints in a single chapter.
Foolproof
This far into the story and he finally stops referring to rifle magazines as "clips".
This is what happens when someone with no military background writes a story about soldiers.
Aaaaaand he passes out again
7902855
passing out is the MANLY way to end a fight
8264516
It's loading screen for cinematographic sequence
5511996
“Oneeeeeeee”
[REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE]
I bet 20 bit's one was a changeling
Проклятье!!! Он что опять? Опять этот Гэри Стью Потерял сознание? Кто нибудь начал вести счет?