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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I am loving this story the more I read it. Keep it comin' bro. These fans are all well deserved.
Love and Tolerate, Reckless Rush.
2269011 Who needs sleep? Sleep is for the weak! I'm going to bed now.
Brony on!
This just keeps getting better and better.
Ceegee seem like he could be abit of a badass
2269025
I see you took my line to heart
So what happened to Fluttershy's pregnancy?
Man those explosive experts die every time, I think he was the first one to actually make it out of the city before he died.
so it was discord ay... got to say i was expecting an OC.
2269559
Oh...
images4.fanpop.com/image/polls/594000/594707_1291987188513_full.jpg
I can help you...
Seriously though, my brother and I made a game out of finding your grammar errors (). Just let me know which chapters and how you want changes communicated, and I'm your man.
P.S. Seeing as this is my first time actually commenting on one of your chapters, I should probably shower you with praise: I greatly enjoy both your writing style (grammar be damned! ) and your world-building skills (i.e., the entire Terradisian culture and how it fits in with Equestria). You've created an amazing story with awesome original characters, you keep the canonical characters faithful to the show while fleshing them out and adding new depth (which is no small feat! (the only one I don't like is Celestia; you gave her very believable flaws and motives—which brings her closer to the human condition, making her a more relatable and interesting character—but I like her better as a perfect little angel, and why is she SO MEAN ABOUT MILES' AND LUNA'S RELATIONSHIP, AND )), and you've created a very fun and interesting plot (even when I see most of the minor twists coming two or three chapters away (just because something is a stereotype, doesn't mean it can't be used in a fun and interesting way (which, BTW, you do very well (YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE PARENTHETICAL STATEMENTS!)))). I especially like how you (intentionally or not) drop just enough clues to figure out what's going on (the fact that Miles was living underground, the identity of the hooded woman (maybe...), the fact that Discord had some of the 12 elements, etc.) without outright stating it as exposition; I'm actually kind of surprised by how much I admire that, but since I started reading your story, I'm noticing more and more in other works of fiction just how often a character's experiences and complexities are explained instead of experienced/shown (e.g., instead of just having Miles' internal dialogue state "Wow! This is nothing like domed underground city I was just in. This is a huge shock!" [explaining], he wonders to himself about the sky, plants and trees—incredibly common things on the surface, that he's somehow never seen before—mentions how the air doesn't feel recycled, and other things of that nature [showing/experiencing]). So, you know, kudos and what-not
...
If I keep going, I'm going to end up writing a ten-page essay on why I think your story is awesome (), so I'll just sum it up as "your very interesting characters, thrilling plot, and wonderful story-telling abilities". (oh gosh, someone get me a taco or some potatoes for all this cheese and ham! )
TL;DR: You're an awesome author and I would love to help you edit/proof-read any past or present chapters.
More I must have MORE!!!!!!!! um that is if you want to
Are you and Whatmustido in a race for longest story? I know you stated you think you will hit 1.2million.
Look forward to more from both of you.
I'm pretty sure that we all saw the Discord thing coming, I know I did.
The mercs are just fodder, aren't they?
Wait, isnt discord more or less created by miles?
wait. what?
2269416 I KNOW he was so close. Well it's appropriate that he died in a burst of magical fire Okay that was but it was an inevitability. He was fun while he lasted.
I can help out with the chapters if you want me to, I wouldn't mind
just let me know what I should be looking for and give me some chapters to check out.
fimfiction still wont let me login on my phone so I might have some trouble with messaging you until they fix the problem.
for now I will have to use my computer for sending messages and replying
but yea let me know what to check out and what I should be looking for and I will get right on it
2301173 Thanks for the second chance! Lunar kitten
Man i finaly got here have read in one week and six days nearly none stop well besides going to sleep wake up go read for a hour to work come backand read more eat dinner and read even more dang i must i bloody love this story!!! ohh yeah I want more spike x rarity I WANT I WANT
Ohhhh yeah I GIVE ME ALL YOUR VIRGIANS
2301600 I know the feeling. Just finished after a week, Damn this story is long/awesome!
2303564 Indeed its bloody awesome! cant wait to another chapter
2305835 If only he had a helmet.
4 days for 168 chapters... Man that's pretty impressive, even for me.
need to get going on that whole telling celly that they're married and all..
Well, I'm back. Sorry, a lot of bad shit came up. Last three chapters have been amazing. I definitely needed them.
Keep it up.
Yes! About time I caught up! It only took 6 days!
I started this about a week ago. Dayum, this is really good!
2336585 What you have read is correct.
2350254 Yeah, but what if Celestia found it?
2350420 She knew he was going after her did she not? It is not like he would tell her about the other platforms, just this unfinished one so he could connect it once he had saved Luna.
2363339 You also have to factor in that they don't want people following them.
2363613 can the platform not be destroyed? I mean it takes 2 portals to connect in order for it to work, right? Connecting 2 and then destroying one after use.
2363629 No, they can be destroyed. But (and forgive me but I'm not one hundred percent on what chapter you are on. I'm thinking of Meeting of Masters (first comment I was thinking earlier then that)) one or two people would still have time to get through. I don't think they want the evil centaur that nearly killed them following them. If you're on a different chapter let me know.
2363646 I am currently on Chapter 92, but I am taking a break for a while as I kind of read from 1-91 in 2½ days..
2363690 DAMN! Yes, a break! Have a glass of water or some chips. And then it goes back to they just don't want Celestia finding it. It would also be odd if Miles just showed up randomly to make these platforms, just to have them destroyed. Too many red flags, at least in Luna's eyes.
2363698 What I meant is that the main 6, Luna and most likely also Celestia all know he can create portal platforms. (Main 6 followed him down to Topaz via portal and Celestia rushed down to get him after Luna was kidnapped so she should at least have used the portal on the way up)
With that in mind he could have created a platform of which he could return after he saved Luna from the enemy castle.
ps. Why would it be a red flag in Lunas eyes if he used a portal to get her back quickly and then destroyed the "receiver portal" if you will, so no one could follow. (Of cause it would have made sure that they never got married like they did but that is besides the point)
2364047 Oh, because magic can't get through the walls of Topaz Falls. Their enchanted to repel magic, both from outside and inside. Miles wouldn't leave an opening to the city because he doesn't want people going down there. There are weapons he doesn't want getting out. So... hopefully that answers that. Hopefully.
2364445 no it was a simple observation that portals were used to get from the surface and down when they went on their trip. Since it is several km below ground I assumed they used a portal to go up afterwards, they were in a hurry after all. I only gave that example because I wanted to show that (to my understanding) Celestial already knows about the portal platforms and that he therefore could have used portals to get back to canterlot after he got hold of Luna and then destroyed it upon arrival.
2364488 .... Ok. I don't understand but you can still be my friend.
3 Days 168 chapters. Finally caught up and man this is one hell of a story.
2269041its school holidays for me haven't slept for 6 days
2393147 It would technically be first but they go about that differently. Future chapters will explain that.
That was a very climatic ending to the zombie escapade
Well done!
Time travel, bitch!
I've got one thing to say... And it's a reference to ASDFMovie's Deleted Scenes...
Miles, this is an intervention. You HAVE to stop killing random ponies that you just met.
Miles: What? What are you talking about, I haven't killed anypony!*shoots some random pony in the face*
Miles, I told you this needs to stop. Miles? Miles-*Shot*
Just read ch.166. Finally, a proofreader. That was way overdo, and I can already see a huge improvement.
Wait a minute... How did his friends from THREE THOUSAND YEARS AGO... know about his current family and friends?!?
Hey look the explosives expert li-oh god dammit.
Me: Explosives experts... Hmmm... more like exploding experts ah? ah?
Everyone else:
Me: ... yeah that joke sucked
I want to passout too! Lucy miles.