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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm am filled with mixed feelings about this chapter. "Celly"?
474049 Celly... as in Celestia without the estia and adding a ly... whatever, I thought it was cute.
Hm, couple spelling errors here and there but still a great story! Glad to see that there was a bit more development between Miles and Luna! I really can't wait to read the rest. All in due time.
474091
I'm sure it is cute, I just can't think of Celestia as just. . . Celly. I keep thinking blood cells. It's only one minor complaint. Not really worth paying attention to after some forethought. Ignore me, I'm getting loopy from sleeplessness.
0-0 *stareing at screen* WTF IS THIS FUCKERY!?!?! (referenceing to luna haveing a soul fire and luna's soul fire kissing mile's soul fire)
also...celly? i like it but maybe they should stick to Tia...
i expectd more destruction.
Well, that could have gone better for Miles. Toe to toe with Celestia but he did come out on top.
Glad that meeting is out of the way.
Great chapter. I was in withdraw due to the site being down yesterday. I swear it was some conspiracy to keep the chapter about the meeting from happening just that much longer.
I know your tricks!
I kind of liked it. But it just seemed a bit rushed to me.
Im waiting on more hoot lines =w=
CELLERY! "D
In need of sleep must turn of the computer. Nope!!!!
wait, i thought in some previous chapter Celestia was 5 years older. or maybe i just lost it.
The sadness, it is a good sadness.
Luna and Miles are SOUL MATES literally LOL 5/5 for this
1731255 Nice profile picture
The soulfire(s) scene, especially the blue one, had me thinking of a magic Cortana. Plus having multiple soul projections make me think of the A.I. project in Red Vs. Blue, and they harvest the A.I.s from the Master A.I. and create the Freelancer Project. Hmm, am I reading too much into this?
474140 I think about cellary. Or however you spell it. Celary, celleary, Tia. Whateva wateva.
2760655 you did not just fucking ruin red vs. Blue for me did you? DID YOU?!?!?!
Their bodies turn turquoise where their lips would be as the green one pulls the blue one. As they kiss, I can't help but let my jaw drop. Is... is a part of Luna... kissing a part of Miles?
3338155 That's nothing! I punched out a window then used the broken glass to carve out "LOL WTF?!" over all my walls and various other objects. 11 people died that day...
3392520 =_= i don't wan't to know what happened but at the same i want to know
"I gave this to you when you turned four. It was during a negotiation I was having with your parents to have my people come to the surface. You use to.."
"Well, after giving birth to Luna, she succumbed to her loneliness and died of a broken heart. I was only three at the time, but that's what I'm told what happened. The next year discord rose to power and turned the land into a world of chaos."
Wait, Celestia supposedly got her got her tiara at four and both her mother and father were there for that, but they were both dead when she was three. As well as you saying that Tia was five years older than Luna. This needs to be fixed, I really hate this type of error. Unless this is due to his memory being fucked up from traumatization, this will probably bug a lot of people.
3392520 Psh! You think that's bad? I read it, and was like, "nngh. Nnngh. NnnnnnRRRRAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!!!" *KRAKABOOM!!*
In other words, when there's a 'LOL WTF?' moment, I spontaneously combust.
(And I just realised, why aren't there any Luna Emoticons? )
3338155
thumbs up just for that pic
No tears now, only dreams. 'MY JIMMIES HAVE BEEN RUSTLED!'
474091 MISTAKES.
Please fix?
"Maybe... I don't know yet. But I know I'm on the road to. Thank you for telling me you tale." I say as I begin to walk out of the room, but stop when he puts a hand on my shoulder.
AND
to tare Miles apart
Are the ponies anthro or human?
cuz this story is making the ponies sound either anthro or human
>>Eclipsed Blade ponies they are,
Mike forgot what boobs looks like...
5217189 there sill all ponies, just lunas soul is in a human-like form
4046477
I was like wa CRAY MODE ACTIVATE IMA KILL EVERYTHING LOLOMGWHFKAH [url=WolfPack82.com]Poop
elling now at Luna and green human kiss wash over its part not pat
Damn, that escalated quickly.
Oh, Q is in this story. Yay!
Ah the Padmé death.
Again, this story is like bricks hitting walls. No subtlety going on and every important point just makes a 'thud' sound as it hits, but lacks any real lead up or build up to set the emotional tones.
I really feel like this big hit of major events fell flat on it's face at 40mph and squealed to a stop before jumping up and shouting "I'm fine!" In my perspective, a lot of this chapter's potential was missed for lack of a multitude of details.
I directly ignore the 'Gary' incident because it gives me a headache.
The ideas so far have been creative and interesting, overall. It's just severe implementation issues. As I said a couple chapters prior, I will keep going and hope it settles into a better flow, because right now it feels like banging into walls trying to walk down the hallway. Seriously, the only issue is the way things are presented and laid out. In many ways, it's like all the little details that flesh out a story, and truly give it life, are scared to come out, despite the hints of their presence.
I suppose one of the things that's making my writing senses tingle like a sunburn that got slapped is it reminds me a bit of how my own writing was when I started. Here's hoping things change over time and the depth the story begins to come out like I know is there waiting, as opposed to something that makes me think of watching plastic bottles under pressure randomly detonating for each plot point of the story.
fobzandmini.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/glass-case-emotion-anchorman.gif
This was resolved too quickly I feel
Well, after giving birth to Luna, she succumbed to her loneliness and died of a broken heart. I was only three at the time, but that's what I'm told happened.
I thought in an earlier chapter it says chelestia is 5 years older than Luna and their mom died 2 years after Luna was born so should the three in the quote above not be seven? Ch 41 btw
How does one even forgive so easily, attacking and hurting them on private property? I would not. And then I would make them feel the same pain ONLY doubled. After that I'd be a dick and kept reminding that person how terrible that person is. Because f you, you evil person!
That's my reasoning at least.
Freaking Miles.... "Don't worry it's ok."
Just because she is a princess and you know her doesn't mean she gets to disrespect you.
I'd never forgive something like this.
...Bullshit.
In particular, fuck everything the bolded text implies, but most of all, that a pony's soul has any business whatsoever looking like or being humanoid in shape or appearance.
7171812
"Because f you you evil person."
"I would make them feel the same pain only doubled."
Pick one
why would celestia keep the tiara miles made if she thought he was the murderer?
8444984
BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON I CHOOSE YOU!
(its not Pokemon i know.)
'Visible sadness'