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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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524804???? Where did that come from?
ooohhhhhh... drunk beyond belief.... *cue hilarity to start*
WEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE!!! DRUNK PEOPLE ROCK! Can hardly wait for next chapter. Even though this one literally just updated for me.
Hurray for drunken sex!
The 10 levels of drunk
1. Buzzin'
2. Tipsy
3. "I can drive fine"
4. Drunk
5. Faded
6. Hammered
7. Sloshed
8. Deuces and Trips
9. Wasted
10. FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition)
This wine shoots you straight to FUBAR? That is some evil shit right there.
DRUNK PONIES (and a human)
524812 It just makes sense. At first there was a republic created after the union of the three tribes after the first Heart's Warming Eve. They created a senate/parliament and had a two consuls. Over time, the alicorn sisters came along and were elected to the position of consul. Seeing as how they're immortal or at least extremely long lived, the Princesses eventually turned the elected position into a permanent diacracy by simply outliving the other politicians. By slowly shaping the government to put them at the absolute pinnacle of power and dissolving any kind of representative government.
They then created Canterlot as the center of government and even place the royal library there, home to all knowledge in Equestria. Through Orwellian tactics, they kept any negative information about them from being place in historical record. This also explains why so little is know about dragons. As a species that could also be immortal or as long lived as alicorns, they might know the atrocities that were committed by the princesses over the course of millenia. So dragons are kept out of Equestria and personified as evil.
But now the Princesses have even begun to change that image and asimlate dragons as their subjects. Cue spike, a capture dragon raise as a pony, taught to reject pony ways. He will be the first of many and dragons are slowly killed off and bred into pony society.
There are other sentient species as well. Cows, donkey's, Griffons etc..The cows were brought into the society as slaves. Producers of milk and other essentials. Ponies, being relatively peaceful, cull the heard of cattle by having a Hunger Game style competition once a year. This provides raw materials for leather and gelatin, as wells rewards the victor with full citizenship into pony society. And by making the cattle kill each other, it keeps the blood off the hands of the ponies.
Okay, I'm going to stop here, I think you get it idea. Trust me, there is a lot more and I probably will write it all down because I may be using it sometime in the future.
My one comment above though was me saying: What scares me isn't the twisted things that others might think of ponies doing, it's the fact that someone mentioned jello and I came up an Orwellian princess conspiracy where cattle are forced to kill each other for the amusement and comfort of another species. There has to be something wrong with that.
this will end in funny. i bet my life's savings on it.
525031 Well, okay then.
525045 Oooh, an update! You can go back to ignoring me now, I have important things to read.
Annnnnnd the cat's out of the bag isn't it?
525210What cat?
525215
Please tell me you're just trolling me and actually know what that means...
525222Umm.... what secret?
525227
Oh I don't know? Maybe the fact that Luna and Miles just drank alcohol that makes them FUBAR and they're kinda, you know, supposed to keep their relationship a secret?
Or maybe I'm just crazy...
525231 Cant it be both?
525234
Maaaaaybe...
Nah, I think I'm just crazy.
525245 Probably. But what ever. Who wants to be normal? BORING
525262
PINKIE PIE IS MY BEST FRIEND!
525270 El Gasp! derpy is mine
525281
Me and Pinkie Pie all day everyday. We're like, best buds. FOREVER!
525299 Derpy and I be trollin all day, everyday. Sundays too
525304
Don't go dropping any pianos on me or Pinkie, k?
525305 I completely agree
525308 Will try! Or not... what ever answer says it wont happen..... PIANO
525318
Annnd 500th comment. You know what this means? A PARTY!
525324 RUN MILES RUN!
525336
Aww... No, it's okay Pinkie! He loves your parties! Don't cry!
Now look what you've done... You monster.
525345 In time, you will resent saying that...
Because alcohol and Miles have such a great history together. What could go wrong?
525361 DONT JINX IIT....too late I've already started...
525356
Now, I have to go stop Pinkie from playing with her rocks... YOU will regret this! *shakes fist*
No no. It's okay Pinkie. Yes everyone loves your parties. Miles is just a big old meanie pants. Don't listen to him. No one likes him anyway. Not even Luna, she's just leading him on to make him feel better. Oops, I wasn't supposed to say that. Keep that a secret, ok? Heeeey, I know what we could do! A big surprise party! Yeah! Let's go show him!
Brb, going to go scare the shit out of Miles in retribution for that.
525409 OHhohhoho... you sneaky devil
525424
"SURPRISE! Wereyousurprisedbecauseitwasasurprisepartyandmygoodfriendheresaiditwouldbenicetothrowyouapartybecauseyou'reabigmeaniepantsandapartymakeseveryonehappyandnotabigmeaninepants! Heeeeeey! Where'd he go?"
Meanwhile, Miles is now shaking in terror in a corner, while Pinkie and I simply stare and laugh at him.
525438 NO PARTIES! Yells Soul Fire as he destroys the building you're in.
525444
Greeeeeat. You just killed Pinkie. The hell is wrong with you? Now everypony hates you.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
*sob* I'm sorry Pinkie... I'm so sorry... *sob*
525454 What are you talking about? Pinkies fine. She's in the sound system with Vinly, see *opens drawer and pulls both ponies out*
525463
PINKIE! I should have known... Don't ever do that to me again! *glomps Pinkie Pie*
You tricky bastard you. What about all the other ponies in that building? They don't have the mystical powers of Pinkie Pie...
525492 AH, that's the beauty, the building we're in only had non important background ponies, no loss.
525512
... You heartless bastard. GOD DAMNIT! YOU MADE PINKIE PINKAMENA AGAIN!
Fucking, I swear to god man!
*sigh* I'll be right back...
I literally have a bowl of popcorn and am spamming f5. I feel guilty for even posting this because it interrupts the flow, but I had to say it.
525515 Just give her this cotton candy cloud, I'm sure it will make her feel all better.
525551
No it's okay... I just told her that they moved on to a great big party in the sky, and she can throw them one here to celebrate their passing on. That cheered her up a little bit. Although, now I'm concerned that she's going to try and go to that party herself...
Be right back, gotta go stop her from doing something stupid...
Actually I'll take that cloud. It better have chocolate rain! It just might let me convince her to stay with us...
525583 If it doesn't just say that there's a surprise for her waiting for her in New Garnet! We just have to wait for the story to get there...
525595
Ooh! Exposition!
Wait... Pinkie said she already knew about that... Fucking magic, how does it work?
In any case, she's back to her cheery bubbly self, and she even sent me an invite to her next party! It's, oh no I'm late! Oh yeah, she told me to remind you that Miles is so not invited to any of her parties ever. She told me that she's friends with everypony in Ponyville but you. Fancy that, huh? Oh well, not my problem!
"I'm coming Pinkie!"
525631 Something tells me Miles won't mind.... Can I come?
525643
... No.
Just kidding! Pinkie says of course you can! She's friends with everypony except Miles, and last I checked, you aren't Miles!
Well? What are you waiting for? Come on in! *music starts to play and laughing is heard in the background*
525662
I leave you alone and this is what you do...
*throws a lasso at Meliron and starts dragging them away*
Pinkie said she needed your help with baking...
525751
NOOOOOO!
Come on Pinkie, let's get him! *Shaun is tackled by Pinkie*
Look's like the tables have been turned... I hope you enjoy cupcakes! *Pinkie giggles*
Nice chapter my friend can't wait for more... Intiment things to happen. Someone s going to wal in on that I can't almost garuntee it.