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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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..........Please have miles murder the fake storm cloud when he wakes up.....and do it as painful and cruel as you can......
Oh god, the famous last words
RUN FOR THE HILLS!
"What could go wrong?"
. . .
. . .
Twilight, oh you tease
Storm just fucking jynxed it
Oh someone better get the other Storm out of here or I'm liable to reach into my computer and bitch slap him myself.
443205
i agree with all of my cold, lead heart...
STORM SHOW SOME RESPECT!!!
remember what happend to lambert
What could go wrong. That might as well be words to summon Discord...
1972216
Nah, nah. Discord can only be summoned by really bad compound puns.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/353/279/e31.jpg
Yeah, I'm just about done with this. You need to go back and make a serious attempt to clean up your spelling and grammar.
532909HA! I don't have a heart!
FUCK STORM!!! NEVER SAY THAT! NAVARONE HAS SAID THAT TOO MANY TIMES AND BAD SHIT HAPPENS! DAMNIT! Anyho you get bro points from me if you catch on to that reference. (:
443205 I agree, here's my idea.
First have miles sear 1 eye out. (You'll see why later). Then take his revolver and shot all of ESC (Evil storm cloud) knee caps. Then take out his sword, cut his balls and pernis for the rape. Then cut of his tail. Oh, another idea popped into me head! Stick his trench knife up his ass so ESC knows rape. This is where the eye part comes in. Put the revolver into the eye socket, SLOWLY. Then pull the tigger, and BOOM! Dead evil storm cloud.
I love being evil. Don't you? Mwhahaha.
Argh, all these punctuation errors and spelling mistakes and such things are horribly distracting. If it's just like, an occasional error it's no big deal, but there's so many of them. There is a certain point where it just starts to get annoying and interfere with how the story reads. Really needs someone with an eye for these things to go over and fix them all.
Alright so Twilight gets stalked by a stallion for a few years, is harassed, threated, and he trys to force himself upon her...
How is this stallion still in the guard? Twilight is an element of harmony, sister to captain of the royal guard, and mentor to Princess Celestia who is the ruler of Equestria. How in any possible way could you justify them still being in the guard,much less be ordered by Princess Celestia herself to check on the human who lives in her house. For the momment I'm going to assume that he was simply lying and Celestia had not sent him to check on the human.
I sincerely hope you adress this in the future as this is immensely grating. (At least the reason to him being in the guard)
Look out kids, here comes Murphy!
I'm starting to see a connection with the ponies and Miles' original friends. INCEPTION!!
Storm:
Can't remember much from childhood, other than orphanage at age 8.
May have taken a crazy-as fall, and therefore, cannot remember his twin brother.
Has twin brother that he literally just found out about.
Miles:
Can't remember much from childhood, other than orphanage at age 8.
May have taken a crazy-ass fall, and therefore, cannot remember a possible twin brother.
CRAZY SHIT'S BOUT TO GO DOWN
I think I saw a diarys of a madman quote in the coments
2911310
I also find this intriguing.
3344418 It happens. Most people who read one will eventually come to read the other. IMO they make a good foil to each other... and comparing/contrasting them is unusually fun. For instance, in both stories, the human OC enter a relationship with Luna. In this one it grows into marriage and more and in Diaries it degrades into mind rape, actual rape, reversed gender rape and a scandal of epic proportions that destroys Luna.
In Diaries, the human OC starts off on rather good terms with the ponies who then slowly screw him over and over again (literally and figuratively. Nav gets raped by half a dozen beings... at least.) In this one, Miles starts off on somewhat shaky grounds that consistently improve and he even protects Equestria and it's ponies from destruction multiple times.
Both of them involve world spanning travels and it seems as if that aspect of the stories are just starting to get into full swing.
Both of them involve traveling back in time to get back in touch with loved ones (this one on a much tighter time frame then Diaries). Of course, both of them also involve the lead being sent forward in time. (Though in Diaries that's not really the case, but as far as characters in the story know Nav is from the very distant past.
In both stories humans created ponies. I believe in this story it's only ponies that were created by humans while in Diaries all the world's races were created by humans in one way or the other. In addition, in this story some of the humans became ponies.
Discord destroyed human civilization in both stories. He also has an important connection to both lead characters. In this one it's Altum whereas in Diaries the lead IS Discord.
In this story Discord gets his ass beat in a curb stomp battle before running away with his tail between his legs whereas in Diaries Discord is, without a doubt, the chess master.
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'I’m about to start with his shirt when I hear something fall up stairs.'
I'm going to go ahead and assume you meant upstairs, because falling up stairs is a feat that I don't think even Luna can do...
3844374 Actually it can be done. . .Trust me, it isn't easy, or pleasant. And don't ask how I managed it, I will take it to my grave. Let's just say I don't know what went wrong.
nah falling upstairs is easy in fact i swear its the only way i fall on stairs and let me tell you it hurts so much, especially when gravity decides that despite you lying on the stare in pain, you still need to get a little more acquainted with the ground and your knees need to be properly introduced to every stair along the way... well with my sh-peel done i most say great story
2852018 why does the name Navarone sound familiar?
4159988 Navarone is from a fix that is currently a million and a half words long.
Ok, at this point our protagonist is stronger than Luna and Celestia combined...
You didn't approach Gary Stu territory, you pole vaulted right past it into Dragon Ball Z land.
Also... That antagonist... ... Calling Twilight a slut and his sloppy seconds in front of Luna? With no repercussions? And he's supposed to be in the guard? One word from Spike to Tia and he'd be patrolling a marsh for life. If he didn't get conveniently banished. And there's no chance in hell that a child wouldn't have told those he looks up to about someone abusing Twilight. This is such an over the top villain I want to smack someone, and it's not the Evil Twin.
4558256
so what i just read means that he can kick Celestia's ass ad make it look easy.Also yes this es it into a fav list so far
i.imgur.com/mrk3kzi.jpg
3116731 FUCK YOU MURPHEY! I am waiting with a shotgun.
Hmm. Storm Cloud Sr. has a strong "Hello, I'm the antagonist!" vibe coming off him for SOME reason... but I don't know why...
Wonder what is going to happen to....to.....to...i forgot the main character oh wait now i remember it Miles! I wonder what will happen to Miles....
Twi. Wat r u doing. Twi stahp it.
"What could go wrong?" DON'T JINX YOURSELF!
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And of course the wrath of Murphy is invoked. A good story always has this.
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5796800 Indeed.
2911310 simple explanation, she is embarrassed and doesn't want to.reopen old wounds.
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2543883
That really git of hand! Brick had a trident.
He said the cursed line. He's doomed.
2852018 I heard he's on quite a journey
3844374 I've sadly have fallen up a flight of stairs before don't ask how I didn't I have no bucking clue
i like how both miles and storm cloud both only have memories from when they were in an orphanage at the age of 8. pretty coincidental. maybe. also awesome