• Published 18th Aug 2013
  • 2,991 Views, 59 Comments

Getting Ahead in Love - dramatic_spoon



Twilight's parents meet her coltfriend: The Headless Horse

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Just my Style

Canterlot Rail Station

“Her coltfriend?” Night Light frowned, “She never mentioned him before.”

“She was keeping it a surprise, dear,” Twilight Velvet gently chided her husband, “She said she met him recently, and thinks we’ll love him.”

“…It’s not that Sentry kid, is it?”

“Dear, he’s taken.”

“…I liked him,” Night Light sulked.

Ponyville-Canterlot Railway

Twilight sat across a dark blue stallion with a flowing silver tail. No cutie mark adorned his flank, and he wore a face concealing helmet.

“I feel ridiculous.” The stallion sighed, his voice muffled by the helmet.

“It’s just to keep everypony else from panicking.” Twilight patted the stallion’s forehoof.

“I can barely see out of this thing.” The stallion continued to grumble, “and it’s hard to breathe.”

“It’s just a little longer,”

Canterlot Rail Station

“Oh, that must be the train,” Twilight Velvet motioned at the train as it came to a halt.

The two unicorns trotted over towards it, as passengers exited. Eventually, Twilight trotted off the train, scanning the area for her parents.

“Twilight! Over here!” Twilight Velvet called out.

“Mom!” Twilight smiled as Twilight Velvet and Night Light trotted over to her. The two mares quickly embraced each other.

“Now where’s the mystery stallion you mentioned?” Velvet craned her neck to look behind her daughter.

“He’s here,” Twilight looked behind her, “You can come out now.”

The stallion trotted off the train and stopped by Twilight’s side. Velvet and Night Light exchanged confused glances before returning their attention to their daughter.

“This is Hedley,” Twilight beamed, “Hedley, these are my parents, Twilight Velvet and Night Light.”

“…Um… Hi.” Hedley nervously greeted them.

“…” Night Light frowned as he stared at the stallion.

“Well, hello there young colt.” Twilight Velvet beamed, “as Twilight said, I’m her mother, Twilight Velvet. Well, let’s get going, we can talk more at home.”
Velvet jabbed Night Light in the ribs, breaking his concentration, “Right dear?”

“What? Oh, sure, whatever.” Night Light shrugged as Twilight and Velvet passed him. Once both of the mares were out of the way, Night Light turned his attention to Hedley.

“Listen you, you better take good care of my little Sparkle, got it?”

“Of course, sir.”

“Good. While you’re at my house, no kissing, no neck biting, no licking, none of that, got it?” Night Light’s eyes narrowed.

“Sir, you’re gonna find that that’s not going to be a problem.” Hedley wearily replied.

“Good. Now let’s go.”

Night Light slapped the other colt on the back, accidently jarring his helmet loose. The helmet landed on the ground with a clatter, as Twilight froze up.

“Oh no.”

The mare spun around, only to find her father and other passengers starting at Hedley in complete shock. The stallion sighed, as inky black smoke drifted out of his headless neck.

“I told you this wasn’t going to work, Twi.” His voice came out of Hedley’s neck.

With that, the crowd exploded into fearful cries, screams and panic while Night Light collapsed onto the ground, unconscious.

“…Well, I’m sure this has an interesting story behind it,” Twilight Velvet sighed.

---
Sparkle’s Residence

Twilight Velvet pushed open the door, leading the once again helmeted Hedley inside. Twilight followed behind him, carrying the still unconscious body of Night Light behind her.

“Just put your father on the couch. In the meantime, Hedley, would you like to help me in the kitchen?”

“Um…sure, Mrs. Sparkle.”

Twilight and Night Light headed off for another part of the house, while Velvet and Hedley entered the kitchen.

“Just have a seat.”

Hedley took the seat she pointed at and reached up, before stopping.

“Um, Mrs. Sparkle? Should I keep my helmet on or off?”

“Whichever is more comfortable for you, dear.” The mare responded.

Hedly pulled the helmet off, placing it on the table. Velvet turned around, and involuntarily winced at Hedley.

“It’s alright, I’m use to it.” Hedley sighed.

“It’s… well, it’s not something I’m used to.” The mare meekly smiled back, “How did you two meet?”

“Well… It’s a bit complicated.” Hedley shrugged, “But I used to live in the Everfree. It’s… not very fun. Very damp, muddy, buggy, but on the plus side, I was unaffected by the cockatrice that lived there.”

“I suppose that’s one benefit to having no head,” Velvet blinked, “No offense.”

“None taken. So one day I was going through to forest to visit my friend Zecora, when I hear a scream. I ran off to go and find out what was going on, and discovered Twilight and a Manticore.
So I did the only thing I could.”

“What’s that?”

“I rammed it has hard as I could and scared it off.” The stallion shrugged, “She was badly hurt, so I took her to Zecora’s hut.”

“I think Twilight mentioned Zecora before, the zebra right?”

“Yes. Unfortunately, she remained unconscious for several days. Zecora went into town to inform her friends about what happened, so I remained in her hut.
Then Twilight woke up…”

“And?” Velvet glanced back towards him, “How do you like your coffee?”

“Oh, um…black. Iced if possible,” Hedley added, “I don’t like hot things.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.”

“It’s hard to blow on it and cool it down. But as I was saying, Twilight woke up and…well, I hid in the next room and told her everything.
I haven’t really had a good track record with meeting ponies so I wanted to stay out of sight.
Well, she didn’t want any of that, so… she yanked me into view.”

“…One day I think we should have a talk. She tends to do things like that.” Velvet sighed as she returned to the table. The unicorn placed a cup of iced coffee in front of the stallion.

“Thank you.” Hedley picked up the cup and poured some of its contents down his neck.

“…How exactly do you eat?” Velvet frowned, “I’m sorry if that’s rude but…well, If you both are planning on staying for dinner, I think I should make something that’s easy for you to eat.”

“I can manage fine with anything, really.” Hedley replied, “there’s no need to do something special.”

“Anyway, as you were saying?’ Velvet took a sip of her coffee.

“Well, I braced for the screams and panic, but it never happened. She was excited.” Hedley paused, “that’s something that’s never happened before.”

“She’s always been the interesting sort,” Velvet chuckled.

“And so, she wanted to thank me for helping her, one thing lead to another and…” Hedley shrugged.

“What about her friends?”

“Well, it took a while, but I got introduced to them. Applejack was horrified. Pinkie didn’t care. Rainbow Dash thought I was awesome. Rarity thought I was…interesting to say the least.
Fluttershy ran off and hid under the table.”

“…That sounds about right. Has she told the Princesses about you?”

“Not yet,” Twilight trotted into the room and took a seat next to Hedley, “I’m waiting for the right moment.”

“What about Shining and Princess Cadance?” Velvet took another sip of her coffee.

“…Not yet.”

“Oh my head…” Night Light staggered into the room, “You wouldn’t believe the dream I had. I dreamt that Twilight was coming to visit us with her coltfriend, and it turned out he was some sort of headless freak of nature.”

“Dad!” Twilight groaned and slapped her forehead as Hedley sulked.

“Dear, it wasn’t a dream. And don’t call Twilight’s coltfriend that.”

Night Light froze as he realized Hedley was there.

“…Crap.”

---

later

Night Light and Hedley uncomfortably sat across from each other.

“...So… do you have family?” Night Light uncertainly asked.

“I honestly do not know, sir.” Hedley shrugged, “I really don’t know much about my past.”

“So you don’t know if it’s genetic?”

“Sir, if you’re worried about headless grandchildren, I think I’d have to get in your good graces first.” Hedley deadpanned.

“Don’t get smart with me, boy,” Night Light grumbled, “but you have a valid point.”

“To be honest, I’m really not sure about what I’m going to do,” Hedley sighed, “I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I think it would be in both of our interest to take it a bit slow.”

“That’s good.”

“Is it true that Twilight’s brother married Princess Cadance?” Hedley changed the subject.

“He did.”

“…This must be a bit of a disappointment then,” Hedley chuckled, “One child marries a princess, and the other one entered a relationship with a foalhood nightmare.”

“What exactly do you do, anyway?” Night Light changed the subject.

“Well, I’m starting to work in the library. I’m also trying to write a book, sort of a collection of stories.” Hedley noted.

“Hm. Well, I suppose it’s better than nothing.” Night Light concluded.

“Thank you,”

Awkward silence reigned as the two stallions quietly returned to their drinks.

“…Sir, I can see you staring at me like that,” Hedley placed his drink back on the table, “If it’ll make things easier, just ask.”

“No, I can’t, My wife would kill me.”

“Sir, just get it off your chest.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Just do it.” Hedley sighed.

“No I ca…”

Sir.”

“How do you see? How do you eat? How can you even hear what I’m saying? How the hell are you talking? How do you even kiss her?” Night Light’s glass flipped as he slammed his hoof on the table, “What in the name of Princess Celestia’s left teat does she even see in you?”

Silence once again reigned as Night Light calmed down.

“Feeling better sir?” Hedley inquired.

“Much better,” Night Light regained his composure and picked up his now empty glass, “Thank you for putting up with that.”

“Not a problem, sir.”

“Nonetheless, I will still be treating you as if you were any other pony dating my daughter.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“The rules I told you at the train station still apply,” Night Light blinked and frowned, “Well, as best as they can.”

“Alright.”

“You will be sleeping in the guest room. Do not attempt to sneak into Twilight’s room, and I will tell her that she should not try to sneak into yours.”

“Sir, I sincerely doubt your daughter would be stupid enough to try and make love to me in the same house as her parents.” Hedley deadpanned.

“I was young once,” Night Light countered, “I know how ponies in love think.”

“….I suppose that’s true,” Hedley conceded, “Twilight does act uncharacteristically irrational at times.”

Twilight Velvet and Twilight Sparkle exited the kitchen, carrying plates, forks and bowls of food.

“What was that commotion?” Velvet frowned at Night Light.

“It’s nothing, Ma’am.”

“Well… alright then.” Velvet gave her husband a suspicious look as he meekly smiled back.

The two mares quickly set everything onto the table, before sitting down.

“A toast.” Night Light quickly refilled his glass before holding it up, “To the two of you. Let’s hope this goes better than your last coltfriend.”

“I thought we were never going to talk about that again,” Twilight grumbled as she brought her own glass up.

Velvet and Hedley held their own glasses up, and the four ponies clinked them together. After taking a drink, the four began eating and struck a cheerful conversations peppered with laughter and groans.

Comments ( 59 )

I regret nothing.

Since Flash is a Royal Guardsman, I imagine Shining, Night Light, and Velvet might know him.

:applejackconfused:
That escalated quickly.

Well.
This is a thing.
A very thingy thing that things things.

This story is way past cool!

what is wrong with you authors these days

i don't think even regidar would have been able to think of this

like, what is this- i don't even-

Have to admit, i was not expecting to see any ship with Headless Horse but this ship is just too good not to read.

I've been hoping that someone would be brave enough to take on the Headless Horse for the contest. That was great.

Well... I am prowd of a new Twilight shipping. But the fact that it is the headless horse just makes the story 20% creepier/cooler.

I'm not sure whether I should d'aaaw or get my brain bleach from the premise alone.
That's the sign of a good crack pairing.

How does he see?

3065370
Oh come on.
Redigar has standards.
I have standards too, but we have different standards.

3065881
a bit of both, I think.

3066405

I have no **** clue.

This will be......
interseting, to say the least.
And FUCKING LOOPY LOOPY PHYSCO BARMY BONKERS!
(Soundwave, track 37)

to say the most. :pinkiehappy:

3066556 fics like these

anyways, props for originality, i like it

i must go now

Nice, I'm sure the contest runner will be squeeing like a filly :pinkiehappy:

Well my interest has skyrocketed!!!:twilightsmile:

I'm sorry for what I must do... :pinkiesad2:

Well I can see where this is HEADED. :ajbemused: Night Light sure lost his HEAD. :fluttercry: Grandkids? Let's not get A-HEAD of our selves. :raritycry: She could have given them a HEADS up. :facehoof: Is he regular or unheaded? :pinkiesick: Sorry can't get these out of my HEAD. :rainbowlaugh:

Ok I am done sorry. :twilightblush:

Personal head-canon time! Long ago, during the War of the Sun and Moon, The captain of Celestia's Solar Guard was a young and powerful unicorn knight. During the war's final battle, the young captain maneuvered his way directly to Nightmare Moon, and actually managed to score a blow on her. Insulted that one of Celestia's whelps was somehow able to hurt her, she tore off the captain's head and cursed him to roam for the rest of eternity.

HORRIBLE puns aside this was a great story. Funny, interesting and entertaining. Keep up the good work. :pinkiehappy:

3070284

I am so glad I didn't use a bunch of bad head puns.
otherwise I think all the comments would be horrible head puns.

3070291

Interesting...

3070322

:rainbowlaugh: Yeah that would be bad. I am kind of ashamed of myself though... :ajsleepy:

3070330

Really, calling him "Hedley" was about as much as I could reasonably do.

3070284

I can appreciate Night Light's concern - after all, does Hedley even have a job? I'd be worried too, if my daughter were horsing around with some dead-head. The fact that he can see shows that's he's not completely directionless, although he might be in danger of constantly sticking his neck out.

3070291

Not so much "head-canon" as "headless-canon".

3070284>>3070471

now that I think about it, I'm surprised it took use nearly 20 comments before we got any head puns.

One thing makes me curious: Twilight met Flash Sentry first when she is already a alicorn. Why do you have mentioned him here?

3070485 it should have been headed that way from the start.

3070735

Twilight never mentioned Flash.

Because Shining is the Captain, he should know who Flash is, and could have independently mentioned him to Night Light.

Twilight's previous boyfriend isn't Flash.

So.. did he leave his head somewhere? Not very responsible.

Wait...

It looks like on meeting Twilight's new boyfriend. Nightlight went and...
( •_•)/⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

Lost his head.
YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

I don't know what Nightlight's problem is. Twi's new beau seems to have a good head on his.... ....no, wait...

But seriously. Hedley rocks. Hella fun story, man.

this is like applejack dating slenderman:

strange,but when a good author writes it,it makes a great story

3088909

Is that an actual story?

3089786 as far as I know,it isn't,but I'll go pitch it to crack ships inc. now

"I was thinking of giving Hedley a prosthetic, for when he's in public."

"No daughter of mine is going to be talking about giving head at the dinner table!"

:facehoof:

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"

“How do you see? How do you eat? How can you even hear what I’m saying? How the hell are you talking? How do you even kiss her?”

I am wondering this too. :applejackconfused:

3410006

To be honest, I thought I would have figured it out by now.

I still have no idea.

Story is too short, needs some answers and origin!:rainbowdetermined2:


Edit:
Evil Necromancer finally acquires immortal body only to be beheaded by Celestia revealing that only his body was immortal not him?

Scoot over Rarity and Night Light. This is the new strangest ship in the world.

3653383
I just saw the story once and haven't been able to find it since. But the last part I did read was Spike passing out after seeing Night Light and Rarity ... *bed creaking noise*

3653478

We need to find this.

This was surprisingly sweet. I'm gonna be that guy who asks: Sequel? :twilightsmile:

3653508

Actually working on one.
It's slightly lower priority than some of my other projects, though.

... This is complete? But you didn't even answer any of those questions! What DOES Twi see in him? Heck, what does he see in her if he has no head to see with? Nothing makes any sense, and... really, is quite disappointing as a one-shot.

you sir are awesome!!!

3834494 Well, theres a thing called a cliffhanger, which is what this is, a sequel will probably come, and if it doesn't, use ur noodle and come up with ur own damn sequel to it, make it more interesting.

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