Nickname: Hunter Gender: Male Nationality: British Favorite OTP: SoarDash
Taken place straight after Rainbow Factory; Scootaloo finds herself saved and escapes the horrid factory, but her adventure is not over yet. In fact, some would say it has only begun.
There is something not right. And Scootaloo, alongside her new friends, must stop it, before it takes more victims. But as lives are saved, revelations will be found and friendships will be forged, broken and gained.
Also, take note that I did not realize there was an official sequel.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Please read before you down-vote
Having read it, I give my opinion.
I found a missing capitalization in the first line and missing punctuation in the second. That didn't bode well for the rest of the story.
I'm not sure what "serous" means, but you used it twice in the middle of the chapter.
I'm not sure what that's supposed to say, either.
You also left a few sentence fragments, like "Seemingly being engaged in Scootaloo's speech."
I definitely suggest finding an editor, or at least a pre-reader.
Either way, good luck with this story. Unofficial sequels usually get lambasted (I'm sure you knew this already, though), and little mistakes are much more likely to be picked up on.
2020872
Thanks.
One second...
You wrote a story taking place after Rainbow Factory, a story which you haven't sat down and read completely?
Fun fun fun.
2020875
I will admit I am intrigued by the character tags, though.
2020890
There is a reason for that...wink
2020888
Maybe it is.
I don't know.
I just feel that you should have the decency to read the story you're writing a story after.
2020909
I understand
2020913
I'm not sure you do.
2020917
Probably right
2020920
Are you even paying attention?
Or are you just saying yes to everything I say?
2020924
Listen. I HATE grimdark stories. I cannot EVER read them. I HATE them.
I made this unofficial sequel to shed some light on the horrible fic. If you like it, that's fine. I made this because I wanted too.
2020937
Wait a second.
You hate dark stories?
Then why publish a dark story?
You make far too much sense mate.
2020947
GRIM dark stories. Emphasis on GRIM.
2020953
How can you write a follow on and take away half of what the origonal was?
2020966
To write a better ending.
2020973
In your opinion.
2020981
Yes it is. Do you like the story?
2020982
Do you really want to know?
2020985
Not sure now.
2020992
I'm pretty sure you don't.
2020996
I don't.
2021004
Good.
I can leave now.
2021008
awwwwwwwwww.....
Look, i was'nt any good at English in school, so it probably will come out badly written
Why are you writing a story to rewrite the ending of a story you admit you haven't read because you don't like the genre? Like, what the fuck? This is what, anti-tribute? You're tacking onto the coattails of another author, not even giving them credit enough to read their story, but are more than willing to criticize it and with the ego to think you can make a "better ending". Bad form Peter, bad form.
2021039
Some things:
1) I say better ending in MY opinion, not yours
2) I skimmed it
3) Peter? Who is Peter?
2020888 No, it isn't.
2021052
Meh.
2021045
1. Yeah? Except people don't post stories to fimfiction for 'their own' opinion.
2. Skimmed it? Ok. And that gives you credibility... how? It's nothing but an insult. The fact that you knew enough about the potential response to make the first post asking for people NOT to downrate it immediately pretty much says enough.
3. encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSSkFeMVOscrEJSqhUu_TYj2x-Du5oxJETWEcbPkrokBYAS8TjM
2021106
1) I know that but everypony has a voice that can be heard
2) But the original story.......
3) oh
2021116 I would post my trademark review, but this thing just saps my anger. It's just....eh. Neither good nor bad :l, lucky you I guess
Scootaloo dies in The Rainbow Factory
2021181
That is what i am trying to do
2021184
This takes place just BEFORE she was about to die
alexanderhunt88
sorry I guess i derped up there
2021199
Don't blame you. Anypony's mistake.
2021215
thx
2021234
Anytime. Don't forget to read.
You're making a sequel to a story you didn't even read?
How the fuck does one even do that?
2020937 So you made a story with the 'dark' tag, but you can't bring yourself to read the dark story behind what you're writing?
There are two possibilities:
1) You are a troll.
2) You are extremely stupid.
2021248
ok
2021249
Rainbow Factory was grimdark. This is just regular dark.
I am NOT a troll.
I probably am extremely stupid, though.
2021259
Thank you for your time.
2021266 Probably. If you just read the story, you'd be amazed how much your credibility will improve.
2021272
welcome
2021279
I understand. But, I cannot handle grimdarks.
2021288 Then don't write a sequel.
2021294
This is not grim.
2021301 It's still a sequel to a story you never read.
2021305
You are right. I know.