Silicon and Fur: A Remembrance of Equestria

by Crystal Moose

Chapter Six

The thrum of technology echoes through the small room.

I slowly walk around the room, tracing one hoof across the wall. I look to the object in the center of the room, and once again I feel that pony heartache. The white structure hums, lights flickering as it goes about its work. It reaches to the ceiling, nearly perfectly cylindrical, if you don’t count the odd indentations across its surface.

I step slowly toward the center of the room, touching a hoof against its warm surface.

The access panel opens, revealing the chair. Carefully removing my synthetic coat, I fold it neatly and place it on the floor. I turn my back to the machine and send the signal. I hear the hissing sound of the pneumatic arms reach towards me. I feel the dull impact, then the thousands of tiny electrodes connecting from the base of neck to the tip of my tail.

I feel the connections made as the arms lift me towards the seat, and I watch the panel in front of me close.

“Hi, everypony.” I smile, closing my eyes. “I’m home.”

“Sweetie Belle!” I feel her warm forearms wrap around my neck. “Oh, Sweetie Belle, it is so good to see you again.”

“Hey, Sis.” I open my eyes and find Rarity smiling warmly at me. The world around us is white, unfinished.

“Oh, no no no, this will not do!” Rarity gasped. “Sweetie Belle, you’re naked! You can’t go to the Gala naked!”

“The Gala?”

“We thought that you might enjoy the Gala again, that is, if it is okay with you.”

“Fluttershy!” I feel myself smiling so hard that it hurts. Tears fall from my eyes. I race toward her, wrapping my arms around her neck. The fur of her coat is soft against my cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.”

No sooner than I let go of Fluttershy, a blur of orange, purple, yellow and pink tackles me to the ground.

“Scoots! Bloom!”

I look around; everypony is here. Celestia and Luna, smiling and laughing with Twilight. Mom and Dad talking with Rarity, arguing over the appropriateness of floral shirts as formal attire. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie giggling while Applejack grumbled about her dress. Discord standing with Chrysa[record deleted, 0 rows found] Discord standing by himself, juggling his eyeballs, trying to catch the attention of Fluttershy.

The white world around us shimmers and fades, as the Canterlot ballroom comes into view.

“Can you believe it? We’re going to the Grand Galloping Gala?” Pinkie Pie bounces excitedly next to me. “Oh, this’ll be the best night ever!”

I laugh as she breaks into song.

“Ready, sugarcube?”

“Ready!”

We step into the main hall, already filled with a thousand faces. Dancing marionettes, but I don’t mind; I have my friends with me.

“Come on!” Apple Bloom grabs me by the hoof. “Let’s dance!” Scootaloo trails behind us, grumbling about ballroom dancing being ‘really uncool.’

We dance for hours. Maybe days. It might have been weeks, or months, I don’t truly know. But we dance!

~

I left the dance floor to speak with the others. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Discord were first. They were arguing who was the best prankster, whilst Fluttershy wrung her hooves nervously.

“Oh, please don’t fight.” Fluttershy held a hoof out, trying to calm Discord. “You are all wonderful pranksters, I think, all in your own special way.”

“Hey girls,” I call out as I approach, receiving a reproachful look from the draconequus. “And Discord. I just wanted to come and say goodbye. I won’t be coming back after tonight.

“Pinkie Pie, I wanted to thank you for the years of laughter, the cupcakes, parties. Discord, while you were a pain in my flank,”—This earns a gasp from Fluttershy—“Yyou helped me get through so many lonely years.

“Fluttershy, you were always so kind with us. You were always happy to let us have our crusader sleepovers, when nopony else wanted to deal with us. Thank you.”

“Rainbow Dash, you were always—”

“Awesome,” Rainbow Dash interrupts. “I think the word you are looking for is awesome.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, you were pretty awesome. And you always had time for me, Apple Bloom an—and Scoots. I know she appreciated those days too, more than you’ll ever know.”

Six hooves, one talon and one lion claw drew me into a hug. “I’ll miss you.”

~

“Hey, sugarcube, y’all alright?”

“Yeah, sorry, Applejack.” I wipe my eyes, as Applejack, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo hold out a hoof to comfort me. I know it’s not real, but their warmth brings a smile to my face.

“I’ve… I’ve come to say my goodbyes.”

Both Scootaloo’s and Apple Bloom’s ears flatten.

“Eeyup, Ah think that’s the right thing to do.” Applejack nods solemnly. “Ah didn’t get to say goodbye to Granny, and y’all know how well Ah handled that.”

“Thanks, AJ.” I smile weakly. “And thanks for all the times you were there for me.”

I step forward and pulled Scootaloo and Apple Bloom into a hug.

“Thank you so much, girls, for being my best friends. You helped me through so much, when I found out what I was, you stood up for me to the bullies. When I found out I’d never get a cutie mark, you girls let me keep crusading with you—”

“Crusaders always stick together,” Scootaloo sniffles, burying her muzzle in my mane. “I’m not crying!”

“Y’all were one of us, Sweetie Belle.”

~

Rarity and my parents were still arguing over Dad’s shirt.

“Can I talk to you all for a bit?”

“Of course, Sweetie Belle.” The group turn to give me their full attention.

“Mom, Dad, Rarity. I just wanted to say thank you. You always took care of me, even when I wasn’t really your own foal.”

“Sweetie Belle,” Mom whispers. “You were always our little filly.”

“We were family!” Dad beams at me. “Don’t matter if we’re not all the same flesh and blood— uhh, or silicon and fur.”

“You were always my little sister, Sweetie Belle. My destructive, troublesome, unable to cook, kind hearted, wonderful sister.” Rarity scoops me up in her forearms. “I love you, Sweetie Belle. Never forget that.”

~

I excuse myself from my family and head to one of the balconies overlooking the gardens.

“Tis a beautiful sight, is it not?” Luna bends down to cross her neck with mine.

We both stare up at the moon; I’d forgotten how beautiful it was. “It is wonderful, Luna. I’ve missed it so.” I look back over my shoulder. “I miss the moon. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss you… Celestia… Twilight.”

“Sweetie Belle, I’m sorry,” Twilight whispers as she joins us. “Sensors indicate this unit's power source is failing; we do not have much time left.”

Tears fall freely down my cheeks. “I don’t want to be without you girls anymore. I… I can’t do it. Not anymore!”

“Sweetie Belle, even if you forget us all, our love for you will never die.” Celestia’s kind, mothering voice does nothing to ease my pain.

“I can’t do it. Even the few of you I can take with me will disappear in time.” I wipe my cheek with a hoof. “Who will I be, when every memory I ever held dear is gone? Will I still even be Sweetie Belle?

“I’m… I’m not leaving.”

“Sweetie Belle…” I feel Twilight’s hoof out touch my shoulder. “The reactors are failing, if you stay—”

“I know what it means, Twilight.” I turn my face back to the stars. “I’d rather die as Sweetie Belle than live another billion years as somepony else.”

“Please, Sweetie Belle. Please don’t do this,” Twilight pleads. “You’re my only daughter, I—”

“I’m sorry, Twilight, I’ve made my decision.” I can’t let her sway my decision; I can not allow myself to entertain self-doubt now. I feel her warmth as Luna sits next to me.

“Tis a brave choice you have made. Come, sister, Twilight.” Luna motions for them to sit with us. “Do not fear, Sweetie Belle, we will stay with you.”

I lay here encircled by the three princesses.

The sounds of the ball behind me fade.

The lights of the chandeliers dim.

I watch as the stars wink out of existence.

The moonlight fades, and the warmth from Celestia, Twilight and Luna disappears.

All light is gone. I am alone.

I feel cold. I feel lethargy. My eyelids feel as though they are the weight of a million suns.

Is this what it feels like to die?

I close my eyes, ready to sleep.

At last.

A warm brush of fur against my cheek, drying my eyes.

“Sweetie Belle‽ You’ve finally made it!”

Author's Note:

Fixed (hopefully) a lot of the tense problems with this story. It was so old, that when I submitted it to EqD and they pointed out the tense problems, I was like… wow, yeah, that was bad.

This is still one of my favourite stories, as it is one I wanted to write as a non-pony story that never got off the ground. And just like last time: no, there will not be a sequel. For me this story is done.

Comments

[Level Dasher]

The tears... The MANLY tears...

[Crystal Moose]

3741820
Finally got to the end of it, eh?

[Cedric Bale]

Sad sequel to a comedy? Very strange, but I suppose there's no rule against it.

This sounds similar to the setting of A.I. Artificial Intelligence, and I'm not sure I want to read something that sad.

[Crystal Moose]

3758652
This idea actually predates I, Sweetie (and MLP) by about seven years. It was originally a non-pony fic that I was never satisfied with.

Like I said in my comment on I, Sweetie, massive mood whiplash.

And I am terrible, despite loving the concepts of A.I. and S.I... I have never watched A.I. Though I will admit, it does bear some unintentional heavy resemblance to Bicentennial Man (which I loved, despite it's universal panning!)

[Cedric Bale]

3758674
I can deal with sad in general, but a setting in which all of my favorite characters are long-dead (which I'm not entirely certain this is, since I haven't read it, but that's what it sounds like in the description) is just too much for me, hah.

Bicentennial Man was the one where the A.I. robot fell in love with a woman and slowly, over time, replaced his various parts with more and more realistic and Robin Williams-like components, right? Talk about bittersweet endings. I haven't seen that movie in foreeeever.

And that's okay, I've never seen I, Robot. I do recommend A.I., though.

[Crystal Moose]

3758791
Yeah, you are spot on with what the story is about... it does have a sweet ending, but it is long, long, long, long past the events of the show.

Basically long enough for the sun to have begun moving into its Red Giant phase, or the beginnings of it.

[Kitty Creeper]

Well that made me cry like a baby. Congrazzles on that.

[Kittamaru]

Having lost my Grandfather only a few years ago... this is particularly poignant for me. I hope that, when my time comes, I will be granted the serenity to simply drift off to sleep, only to awaken with friends and family past around me, ready to greet me on the other side.

Thank you for writing this... it is simply beautiful. Many people do not understand what a... gift... death can be. The idea of living forever, of seeing those you care about wither and die... to see the end of life... so many people wish they could "be young forever", but I wonder if they actually know just what they are wishing for.

[RC]

Sniff :mecry: i will alwas rember this ending. It starts so sad but sweetie was alwas loved and it brings a family of love at the end it so awsome!
Hug/):discord:(\hug.
So sad ans sooooo sweet! It brought a tear to my eye.

[Dreamer of Dragons]

The sad....it be gloriuos.

[Grif_Bladefeather]

i love the ending, kinda 'you don't need to be flesh and blood to have a soul'

how old is sweetie about? 160 billion years?

[Crystal Moose]

4289241
You know I tried to work out the math, but I gave up in the end.

I assumed that the Equestrian sun was a G-type main sequence star, probably about midway through it's life cycle during the shows events (why, because I modeled it after Sol); so she'd probably be somewhere between four and five billion years old, when their sun would move into their red giant stage of it's life. Probably closer to the four billion, but close enough that life on Equestria is pretty much fucked.

Also, when I first wrote the story, I thought 13 billion before our sun went became a red giant, so there might be some incongruities in the story surrounding it. But I think I covered my ass pretty well by using the [integer to big] cop-out.

[Bellona]

This fic is sad, but beautiful and Sweetie finally got her happy ending.

[Wyrm]

The feels, man! The feels!

[PiMan]

That was a touching tale.
I did laugh once, at your authors note at the end about a theoretical sequel. Just the idea of making a sequel to this is funny enough.

[Crystal Moose]

4449760
Someone once wanted me to write Sweetie Bot's tale of the afterlife.

I kid you not.

[Commander Jenna Cipher]

4449769

That actually sounds like a great story... Think you could still do that?

[Crystal Moose]

4589340
Nope. This one is 100% done and dusted.

The reason I don't want to do a sequel is that I feel it cheapens the message and impact of this one, especially the final line.

The story was an examination of her life, and the question "Do I have a soul?" (or atleast that was how it was intended), and the final line can be interpreted as yes (though it could also be interpreted as one last hallucination before the end, given she was prone to hallucinations throughout the story)

Adventures in the afterlife are just not necessary.

[Yurtus]

I shouldn't read stories like this when I'm at work. It's hard trying not to cry when the story is well writen like this. You are awesome.

[TessiFlameheart]

This is a powerful piece of literature. A masterpiece. I only regret reading it after watching the Bicentennial Man. Dose anyone know an over the counter anti-depressent?

[Crystal Moose]

4869235
I am so glad to find out I am not the only one who loves that movie.

[bobbananaville]

Holy fuckbuckets.
You're the one who wrote this story?
Oh my God! That is insane!
Damn!
Can't believe I didn't recognize you immediately.

[Crystal Moose]

4899526
Haha, yes... yes I am the author of this one

[PrincessColumbia]

I didn't even cry for Past Sins! My Little Dashie was irritating to me!

WHY AM I CRYING AT THIS?!?!

[PrincessColumbia]

[REVIEW] Break out the kleenex, boys...
(crossposted here)

For those who may (or may not) have followed me all the way back during the halcion days of The BunnyCast will know that I've always been a staunch proponent of fanfiction, whether it be obscure gender-fluid anime martial artists (which was my obsession at the time), divergent timelines from a popular-yet-somehow-still-obscure-webcomic, to Star Trek to Xena to...well, you get the point. So it's no surprise that I advocate that fanfiction is NOT the festering heap of Intellectual Property Infringement that some complete and total bleeding morons otherwise clueless yet well meaning people say it is. Indeed, I consider it to be the Ultimate Test of a Writer. It takes real dedication to the art of what you are doing to write a good and engaging story for an audience that may appreciate you, but can NEVER pay you (mostly due to intellectual property laws, but in some cases it's people who read fanfics because they don't have money). This allows the author TOTAL creative freedom and limitless playgrounds to put their characters in.

Honestly, at this point I'm starting to think that ANY idiot can get a publishing deal if they write something bland and uncreative enough. (I'm looking at YOU Stephanie Meyer!!!)

So what comes next may not seem to be much of a surprise coming from me, other than the fact that I am trying to cut down on the foul language more that my daughter has gotten to the "repeat what the adults are saying" age.

To those who think that fanfiction can never equal or exceed a published work? FUCK OFF!

Of course, I'm kinda preaching to the choir on this one... ;)

So what has me feeling so strongly on the matter all of a sudden?

SweetieBot has become something of an odd fan favorite, the love and appreciation of the character even eclipsing the fan-series she came from, Friendship is Witchcraft. (Which I have heard from Jim Butcher himself say was, and I quote, "Seriously weird, man!") Various fan art and stories have come and gone, and while there's some that are cute and some that are funny and some that are touching...for this one, you're gonna want to avoid it if you have a heart condition. And maybe if you're pregnant. Or if you're going to be operating heavy machinery later.

Silicon and Fur: A Remembrance of Equestria is not the longest, not the most epic, not the deepest, not the...ANYTHING fic you've ever read. It won't leave you laughing at any point (well, maybe at one point...but by Celestia the laughter will be bitter-sweet!), you won't be stirred by any epic battles with evil...

In fact, there's really not much to this story at all.

OK, so for the next bit imma gonna have to throw out a big SPOILER ALERT. That's because without a SPOILER ALERT, I can't really talk about this story and give it the review it deserves. So for those who like SPOILER ALERT to keep you from having your story spoiled, I'm going to say go read it now (read the prequel first) and cue up the Sigur Ross and keep a case of facial tissue handy, 'cause this one packs a whollop!

OK, SPOILER ALERT over, are they gone?

...

*waits*

...

OK, good, now let's talk about them behind their back! Oh, wait, review! Right!

This is a VERY short story, in fact the entire contents can be summed up as follows: SweetieBot walks through a dilapidated Canterlot Castle while she hallucinates. However, as with any good story, the summary doesn't do the thing justice. The "hallucinations" are SweetieBot's processes replaying with creative modification her memories of the ponies (and other) she watched grow old and die. Considering that enough time has passed for the entire pony RACE to have died by the time the story starts, and indeed very likely ALL sentient life on the planet, I think ANYONE, even a robot, would be entitled to a little hallucination or three just to keep from going TRULY starkers.

What the story all comes down to is the choice that SweetieBot makes. While one can say she started the story with the choice already having been made, allow me some meta commentary for a bit:

Death is not something any of us take lightly. To put it simply, even those of use who are believers in an "afterlife" are going into the whole "death" thing just as blindly and, when we're completely honest with ourselves, just as terrified of it as everyone else. Facing such an event at ANY point in life is...horrible, but then to be at a point where one must CHOOSE to die, for whatever reason, requires levels of courage that are so insanely high that most people can't even fathom it. Rather like if you went to your average ER nurse who's moderately good at managing her less-than-adequate paycheck and asked her to help balance the U.S. national debt. The numbers are too big, the impact too massive, she'd just...not be able to even START to grasp it.

So taking a look at Death's nominal opposite, Life. Life must grow, or it ceases to be life. We must always be learning, doing, acting and reacting in order to be considered Alive. (Don't understand? Watch Shaun of the Dead. Hell, even the trailer makes my point for me) Without that continual growth, we're dead, whether we have a pulse or not.

So back to SweetieBot. There she is, BILLIONS of years after even the last other immortal bites it...quite literal eons of being the last sentient thing on a planet with no spaceport or access to a well travelled hyperspace bypass (and the last towel have LONG since gone, so it'd be a wash anyway) having done all that she can, experienced all that can be experienced, and now doing exactly NOTHING new...she realizes that to continue being Alive, she must Die.

And THAT, dear reader, pays lie to SweetieBot's telling Discord that she can't come up with a paradox without him.

The problem, of course, is that she not only must rely on the blind faith a regular pony must have in the same situation, she doesn't even have the confidence that, once her circuits shut off for the final time, that there will ever be a point where she ever wakes up again.

And that is truly terrifying.

And yet, she goes on, she faces her fear, makes her choice a final time, and...well...

I cried.

Let me explain this a bit. Thanks in no small part to my past, I usually don't cry for...well, nearly anything. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've cried in the past decade. Much has been made in the Brony community over the tear-jerking effects of stories like Past Sins (a personal favorite) and My Little Dashie (...no comment), but I read these stories and...well...I didn't cry. Yes, Past Sins was incredibly TOUCHING and IMHO is one of the best stories this community has ever put out and HASBRO WHY HAVEN'T YOU MADE THIS STORY CANON GNARARARARRRR!!!

ponytime.net/wp-content/uploads/mlfw8968-548597_512024965495130_956259811_n.jpg

*ahem* My point is, I didn't cry at Past Sins or, really, any of the points where Bronies tend to cry at their favorite beloved fanfics.

This one pulled the tears out of me like a pre-teen girl learning her favorite boy-band was breaking up.

And I'm not too proud to admit it!

----
Oh, and one final nitpick...the author's sense of what will withstand the rigors of time is...well, I'll call it "WALL-E" on a scale of "Nailed it" to "Movie Science." (See Life After People for reference)

[Kichi]

Why I insist in reading too sad stories very good

[Headlock1_0]

I don't know what to say, but this story has given me a good cry, and I thank you for writing it. It's definitely earned an upvote and a fav.

[WezaQ]

That, was incredible.
Thank you for writing this.

[divinearcadia]

Eloquently written and executed, sir. Not only do you really encapsulate the last "living" being trope well, but you also manage to incorporate the often hard to consider "am I a real person" (or in this case, pony) trope as well. I especially enjoyed how you gave each of her simulated memories a vivid persona based on her interactions with her and it was an especially nice touch with Chrysalis and her postmortem embodiment's pleading for Sweetie for finally let her go instead of living on in a digital limbo that would have tormented the poor thing further. Bravo, good sir. Bravo.

[BenRG]

A beautiful story about the unchanging nature of love, loss and hope and the ultimate nature of immortality in a mortal universe.

[Aylaya]

I love this , Well written and it hit me right in the feels.

[Alex Warlorn]

The imagine I have here, is a child, growing wrinkles, and creaking bones, and dying of old age without growing up. We're left the impression that in spite of all their knowledge, magic, and being to cross other universes, ponies didn't reach the stars.

[BeeJay28]

Me and my love for sad stories gonna read this tomorrow. I hope I will be satisfied as many others.

[Alex Warlorn]

6535170

You must love Dark Souls.

[Crystal Moose]

6535632
No one loves Datk Souls, theyre just closet masochists

[Nightweaver]

God damn, I really have to stop reading stories like this before someone decides to ask why they heard me crying at 2am
I can only imagine how that conversation would go...

Anyway, this story pretty much took my feelings and stabbed me through the chest with them, it is a brilliant take on the classic 'Last Man/Equine on Earth' kind of story. I absolutely loved it, even if it did leave me depressed as hell cx

[Crystal Moose]

6544767
Depends entirely on the bitsize of the integer. Also... it's fiction.

If the integer size is 32 bit, then she could record roughly 4.2 billion years. Assuming that her dates are recorded as each section of the date as seperate integers, and not as, say, x days from genesis, as current pcs record them. If, as in my mind, that was how she was recording dates, then she could only record 4.2 billion DAYS, which is far less than the life of a main sequence star in the middle of its stellar life.

Admittedly, I fudged aome things for the sake of narrative, but I based the year and date thing on my understanding of how pcs store dates... though this may have changed in the 15 years it has been since i have done any real programming.

[Crystal Moose]

6546415
It actually comes down to data storage construction. Chrysalis was a special case, she requested deletion. The others basically came down to her records being lost over time as more and more data errors happened (due to degradation of the storage hardware), and over time, those memories can no longer be read, as they are corrupted beyond repair.

[ANgrantAN]

Oh god.

Thank you for this, I suppose.

[Scorch215]

this is one of the saddest things I've read and yet that ending was one of the happiest I've ever read as well. with just two lines you made me smile while I was crying. this is truly a work of art in my opinion. the amount of emotions that plays out from such short chapters.

[Crystal Moose]

6755548
Thanks.

There was initially some debate over if I would include those two lines or not. The original (non-pony) story did not include them, but I felt that in this universe they were appropriate.

Glad you enjoyed it, it is still one of my favourite stories.

[Wolfren]

I feel a knot in my throat, you made me feel sad... Thank you.

[M4Tiger4014]

That ending......that was an AMAZING ending, I don't have words for it.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/6/26/21465/full.jpg

[Viper Pit]

i was not ready for the feels ;-;

[Lordoftime999]

I don't normally like Sweetie Bell, but I love the artwork that they did with her.

[Burrrr]

I was not ready for these feels...

[vustrunreyth]

Curse you... you have reminded this cold dead husk of what it was like to have a soul... thank you

[jasha3558021]

I liked the story, it made me cry ... thanks

[Teraunce]

You really know how to cut those onions. Talk about a bookend to Equestria's story that is both very very sad, and yet cathartic in its last two lines bringing a very very sad smile to the reader's face. i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/557/206/04a.gif