• Member Since 23rd Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

CommissarAJ


I left my witty one-liners in my other pants

T
Source

There are two types of ponies in the world; those that read love stories...and those that write their own.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack have been friends for years. But after a seemingly harmless game in the orchard awakens Rainbow Dash's deeper feelings for her friend Applejack, she is determined to ensure that her friend has a special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day. But what will Dash do when that pony isn't her? Can she stand on the sidelines and watch her friend find happiness without her? Can Dash find the answers she needs in the latest tale of Daring Do?

Cover image credit goes to RainbowDerp98

And be sure to check out the sequel, Where Would Rainbow Dash?

Chapters (20)
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Comments ( 840 )

I'm going to throw this a track because it looks good and I'm about to go to sleep.

and just like that the book betrays her

This looks MORE than good guys! I love your writing style! This story has got my full attention, even if I am more of a PinkieDash person, this is just pure awesome. Keep it up!:rainbowkiss:

Tracked, and I'm very much looking forward to seeing the continuation. Also, thanks for contributing to the well-done "lazy Dash" pool. :heart:

Watch out! Glassed incoming! :pinkiegasp:
----
*Back from reading*
gamersmafia.com/storage/comments/81/81/obama-not-bad.jpg
For a first chapter, this caught my full attention pretty darn fast :pinkiehappy:
You have a good style of writing to go along with, what sounds like a promising story :twilightsmile:
-Glassed

tracking and ow,
have some stars ^^:ajsmug:

Ah AppleDash, My favorite Rainbow Dash shipping. Amazingly written, and consider this tracked.

Also, Reallly off topic, but...is anybody else's stars get replaced by..thumbs up and down?

I wonder how Twilight will react to those books when she comes back...
Tracking.

AppleDash, check.
Original Concept for said ship, check.
Adorable, funny dialogue, thats a big ten four.


You may very well have written EXACTLY what Ive been looling for for a long time. This is going straight on my tracking list. I look forward to the rest. I know you cant rush art but, dont keep us in suspense! XD

This looks promising. I'm more of a straight shipper myself, but this should be interesting. Tracking.

This is a really good story. I am a fan of AppleDash and thus this immediately caught my attention. Tracking and awaiting the next installment. :moustache:

i be enjoying
looking forward to more
that is all
ktanxbai

Hmmm... apart from some very minor typos (You know, the usual kind, hit two keys in the wrong order, just like thsi), this is looking to be a very, very promising story. I like Dash's reactions and internal confusion, it is very realistic to someone who realizes they may love one of their best friends.

I'm not normally one for AppleDash, but this seems rather interesting...
Also...

“How about a book?” the pegasus thought with her mental voice sounding strangely like Twilight for an instant.
and
"Books would never betray her, never leave her doubting herself."

Rainbow Dash is acting a bit like what I'd think the before-friends-Twilight Sparkle would be like...

Oh wow. The writing is really impressive and the depth you give the character's really shows! I love how you explore Rainbow's character and there is plenty of good old comedy here too! Bravo!! SO tracking!!! :heart::heart::heart:

I enjoyed this alot actually.
Theres only one thing I dident like
When AJ kisses Dash it felt to abrupt.
Other then that its really really good its not something that will turn me off the story and call it terrible because its not.
Its very good.
I await more.

Great hook, though a bit too long. Some people may leave early and downrate because they think it's clop.

Also, you don't do a spot on job with channeling the characters.
"'That... doesn't seem feasibly possible.'"
Feasibly is a bit long a word for Dashie, don't you think?
It's not a major issue, as few fics ever do absolutely nail the characters, but something to think about maybe.

Other than that, fantastic job. I cannot stress enough that this fic is good, but it looks as if it's dangling on true greatness and it's making me nyeh at the minor details.

This isn't going to get a sad tag later on is it?

226279 cuz "rare" ships are rare for a reason: some personality types are just not romantically compatible. I find it nigh impossible to read fics like that; that's just me though

Twidash, Rarijack, Flutterpie, everything else is just self delusion. Swayback was the game changer. Now on to the story. Still you have to respect others with vision. "added later"- I love all of the ponies so far, because of the generous writing of all authors. Even prince Blue Blood and Diamond Tiara are given a sympathetic back ground story and the option to improve themselves when they are ready. There are no irredeemable ponies, just lost souls.

227808 The only whippings I really dislike are Raridash, Twijack, Fluttertwi, and Raripie. The others, if you write them well, are phenomenal. FLUTTERDASH IS BEST SHIPPING

227977
Heh. Whippings.

Didn't know ponies got so kinky.

226279 You have no idea how badly I want a well written Raripie story.

226450 She'll just have to read them all first, and keep them, before reordering her original titles.:twilightblush: Ahhhhh, but you knew that already.

227603

True dat. I prefer RariJack ships myself: still rare, but the most likely/feasible of the 5 possible Rarity ships, in a tsundere kind of way.

228303 Yeah, I understand that. Personally, (through evidence like Rarity wishing for a "prince charming") I view her as the only character who is definitively straight. So any Rarity/mane6 ship doesn't sit well with me; but to each his own.

Definetly a must-track concidering what transpired here. To be honest out of reading other Appledash fics, describing this as such almost seems like the best option for Dash's standards. :ajsmug: :rainbowdetermined2: I'll definently keep track of this for sure as it is well done. :twilightsmile: I hope twi doesnt go :twilightangry2: for finding out whats in her library lol.

228023 My iPod has instant spell-check, and it gets it wrong sometimes. Like if you look through some of my stories, words like 'lampstand' and 'amoeba' just pop up in the middle of a sentence, and I don't catch them because I write so fast. My brain works faster than my fingers. :twilightblush:

228920 FlutterDash amplifies both the protective nature of Dash the reliant nature of Fluttershy. Th adage that 'opposites attract' is true: it's called the 'completion effect'. I means that two halves of one type of personality work well together. Like, for example, my wife is level-headed, kind, and calm, and helps keep me on track while I have short-term memory loss, multiple personalities, and get frustrated easily. :twilightsmile: And that's why I love her.
Applejack and Dash would always be competing, and although this could be sweet, their continued feuding could make life semi-difficult, especially during arguments about, say, taxes or children.
~From Emerald Flight, a brony who knows what he's talking about

>> Emerald Flight

Actually i find their compeditive edge is what makes Appledash more compatable. :ajsmug: I have read other appledash fics aside from this and they certainly have some flare to them as well as situations that would compliment eachother best. Also don't forget that some relationships root from fighting to begin with, u know the saying "argue like a married couple" as well as of course the ability to overcome hardships with eachother presents a stronger relationship. :rainbowdetermined2: Life has its challenges and even in a relationship, a peaceful life is pretty much wishful thinking. Some prefer it that way, some others prefer the determination to take on the wild chalenges ahead as expressed in some Appledash fics. But I digress. :twilightblush:

Its nice that your relationship is so complimentary in such a way though however, I give you props on that. :yay:

I was thinking of a comparison for Flutterdash as well; however the fact that they have nothing in common could present a problem right off the bat in itself as do for most relationships. Even when fluttershy is a pegasi, she lives on the ground that rarely would visit cloudsdale where Dash takes to the skies like nobodys business. I also am not sure if i see Dash taking on responcibilities on taking care of Fluttershy's animals when she has got her own dreams to chase. I may read into a flutterdash fic sometime to research further into this, but thats my shpeal.

Anyways, im not entire how else they would pair up, unless somehow due to circumstances are presented in a way that Dash would accept Fluttershy more than a friend. Because just knowing her fierce loyalty to Fluttershy in the very beginning for example is somewhat blanket excuse to build on. :twilightsheepish: Then again, Dash could be paired up with anybody concidering using concepts relating to her first Sonic Rainboom is the connection that tied all 6 of them. I suppose Fluttershy's kindness to Dash may present some opportunity, other than that im not so sure. I would say flutterdash would be harder to execute regardless, by knowing who they are, and that they way its set up its like they live in two completely different countries.

229119 AppleDash isn't bad, but once more, there's a huuuuge race problem. I touched lightly on this in 'Dashie & Me' where Raindrop, a pegasus, and Lemon Yellow, an earth pony, get married. Lemon Yellow could do little more than cheer from the sidelines for Raindrop, and Raindrop had to take breaks from work to speak to Lemon Yellow. I'd be afraid in a relationship that one would be in the air and one not.
And Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash not being compatible? Please. You're right in saying Dash could be paired up with any of the other five (I parodied this in 'Desicions, Decisions'), but not only have Fluttershy and Dash been friends the longest, they are also rather similar. Loyalty to friends, care for others, and... they can both fly. The only thing they lack is a common intrest in sports.
Anyways, I love FlutterDash because of the excellent conjunction of reliance on care. It just fits so well, and it makes so much sense. Meanwhile, Dash and Applejack would be relying on themselvs and their egos, not on each other. :fluttershysad: Plus, I've always assumed that Applejack was straight and Fluttershy was not.

:applejackconfused:229266 To be blunt, if that is really your opinion then why do you read this? To each his own, and I never said they were not compatable, i said it would be least likely they would be. :applejackunsure: Also as mentioned before they may not share common interests as well as their day to day priorities of Dash's weather managing, to Fluttershys animal cartaking. (which brings up the question where the hay did Dash keep her pet turtle anyway :twilightoops: ) Also as far as their friendship goes, who knows what happened between the time they were fillies up until now. Also don't get me wrong, I suppose if Fluttershy does express her kindness to Dash it will present some opportunity, other than that on any given situation, it may not be so fruitful. :rainbowhuh:

We may never know where anyponys orientations are until given to light. Though that one time with Appledash cannon theory still remains intact during that one episode, it made me wonder from Dash's words. Also Appledash on the otherhand as said before, their compeditive nature could be their greatest strength. Dash's Loyalty to all of her friends may make her feel comitted to try just about any of the other 5 when given opportunity as well as AJs . :rainbowdetermined2:

229438 Again, you have a lot of good points. And I read this because AppleDash isn't a bad pairing; I'm just trying to insinuate that I, as a sixth-degree brony, enjoy a romantic (not erotic) FlutterDash pairing more than an AppleDash pairing. But I disagree strongly with your closing statement; in case you've ever had a love with a friend out of a group of friends, you would know that if the rest were your friends, they would accept it. In my own personal FlutterDash story (FlutterDash: Publicity) I assume the individual characteristics of the mane six and their reactions to a lesbian pairing (also assuming the rest were straight), and I also go over and parody the fact that Dash can be paired well with anypony in 'Desicions, Desicions'. I don't think that Dash is a hypersexual; meaning I dont think that Dash would feel love towards anypony except one. Doesn't particularly matter which one.
Anyways, what I'm trying it get at is that if Dash is paired with one, she would not be paired with the others in the same fiction. That's why I wrote 'Desicions, Desicions'; as a parody. The rest of your statements are correct, I just disagree with the closing.
Sorry for spamming up the comments.
Btw, the reactions in FlutterDash: Publicity are :applejackunsure::pinkiesmile::twilightsmile::raritystarry:. lol.

227372

T'ain't nothing wrong with it being clop, if it were... people need to stop being prudes.

Anywho, I think it's about the perfect length. I prefer telling, longer chapters, over "this happened, chapter over" chapters, where you end up with 45 chapters by the end of the novella. I try for 6000-8000 myself, usually.

Looks solid enough so far, and not as generic as most AppleDash fics I've read. I think the reading angle helps a lot. This gets a tracking for now.

Minor misspelled and missing words here and there but this is definitely a story that I'm loving.
Twilight's Sparkle sounds so risque when you think about it. :rainbowlaugh:

>With no other options available, Applejack simply reached out and planted her lips upon her friend’s.
I'd say there are two- maybe even three- other things AJ could've done instead.
>They both assumed if this were something they were supposed to understand, Twilight would have taken the liberty to explain it to them using nice, small words.
And you make AJ and RD sound really stupid here and in later parts.
I mean, this pair isn't bad; there are a few minor misspellings and tense problems that I can overlook; what I don't like is how this story strays from the characters already developed in the show. They aren't true to themselves- would Twilight condescendingly pat RD's head and say, 'I know you're stupid, Rainbow- that's why you're not coming!' in the show? Because that's basically what this line (“Of course not, that would be silly,” Twilight corrected with a playful chuckle.) is. They may not be super into magic given that they aren't unicorns, but they do have brains- Dash likes to read and AJ handles an entire farm(with help, but still). I'm not going to give this a dislike, but I'm not giving it a like either.
*end long ass comment*

233503

You called Tank a turtle when he's a tortoise.

Duh.:rainbowhuh:

Oh, man...Indiana Jones meets The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly! Brilliant use of the Blondie line! I can hardly wait for the third installment!

Great....now i want to know how the main story is going to progress AND how the Daring Do book ends

Ouch...Dat ending.

I love how you portray Daring and her "partner". I don't like her partner much, but she fits the type of story Daring Do is supposed to be. And the contrast between AJ and Blondie, especially considering how similar Dash and Daring are, is going to be an interesting thing to watch in the coming chapters.

I can't wait!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly is my favorite movie and this is now quickly becoming my favorite AppleDash fic.

I applaud your writing. Excellent work.

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