- Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
- offline last seen Last Tuesday
darf
pony-writer/pornographer looking for work. old stories undeleted. i'm sorry. Patreon here
darf
Joined 1st Apr, 2012 ·
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Clopfics11,567 stories ·15,816 members
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darf fics no foalcon101 stories ·2 members
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Darf you magnificent son of a bitch.
YEEES!
Edit: 2 downvotes? Who did I offend this time?
It was five upvotes before when I clicked it. But after I did so, it was twelve. Yup - knew it, my opinion is superior to everyone else's. Anyway, I need more. And that's not a request, that's a command. Sexy human librarian Twilight is best Twilight.
Damn it. Now I have to read all of it twice.
Darf and his stupid, sexy writing grumble grumble.
Welp, cant really come up with anything to say but megusta. Too awesome for words.
Fuck yes, Emperpep
Here we go. Again.
i.imgur.com/aChNZli.png
2653079
Ain't that the truth.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Damn it...this needs a sequel...
Sequel! Sequel! Sequel!
So .They have those now?
In other news, Darf has made a very good story.
Oh yes we need more of this, so much more!
sequel... now
2653003 Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me Princess! Lol
Before I thumbed up this story it had 85 ; after I thumbed it
now it has 90.
2653630 You are excused.
I think there are 2 other versions of the photo, yes?
Monosodium Glutamate
I will sell all of my possessions to know where that cover image came from.
Anyone?
Urgh... After your last blog post, my feelings are scrambled over reading this :(
...
I'm sorry, I'm gonna read it >_<
Make one about the following weekend!!!!!
2653623
you play Mable leaf?!
woo I love bronys
EDIT: wow best hand job ever, kinda not my thing considering my gender
I would never actily do this to my boyfriend if I still had one
I would give him a proper hand job thank you
<like>
2653808 try e621, I think I saw it over there the other day
Hmm... what to say, what to say...
Technically, there were three small errors I saw that you may or may not want to go back and fix.
1.
2.
3.
EDIT: Oh, right and the "sexy library" thing.
Other than that, I believe your grammar and spelling is A-okay. Prosewise, it read smoothly. There weren't any distracting similes or metaphors, no awkward wording, no clunky dialogue that I noticed. I've no problem with the prose in this story.
Getting to the content, the set-up is alright, I think. A typical weekend where a man's girlfriend plans on secluding herself away to study is cause for stress for the man, so I thought that was nice. The man not remembering about the weekend before was funny; good job. There is one thing that bothers me about the setup, but it could be just me, so II'll mention it in spoiler-mode, so people won't have to think about it if it's not a big deal, and you can decide whether to read it at all: I think the triple-major worked to the story's disadvantage. I know Twilight likes to study, but she can also become frazzled fairly easily. Cramming for one major and having her nonchalantly handjob (if that can be used as a verb) would make sense, since she would probably have confidence enough to split her time into something like that, and more importantly, the energy. To me, it'd seem like if she were taking on two years worth of classes in one semester, she's be damn-near knackered—especially with the amount of books strewn about— setting this up as a story where "I" would try and help her relax from her heavy workload. So, in short, the load of work and the amount of energy she has doesn't really match to me. Again, this may be just me, so I leave it in darkness.
The details are good, not only in the actual sex, but in the setting. I personally think knowing a sense of place is good for clop; the mention of the room being fine with antique materials makes the act seem a bit dirty, and the mention of the books strewn around gives me a sense of the situation and the character that I liked. It didn't feel like the action was taking place in a floating bubble; it had a sense of place, making me more invested in it. The tactile details—ESPECIALLY the soft hands and the roughness and smoothness of her touch—were very nice, as well as feeling the perky breast. Those were great. The little parts about easing the tension before the handjob were pleasurable as well, getting me eased into the situation. In short, *applauds*
The progression of the sex felt natural, and the "reveals" were good. The ending was kinda unsatisfying, but I think you intended it to be such. It's just meant to be a "tiding over until another time" story, and if that was the case, then I think you succeeded wonderfully.
If not... I don't know what to say.
So those are my thoughts. I think the story is good, if unsatisfying. There's just that one moment that bothers me, but again, that could be just me. Take my comments how you will. As far as second-person clop goes, I think you did well to show a situation where a person had to be controlled, and you emphasized details and situation, making the POV actually have purpose. For that, it gets an upvote from me.
I wish you the best of your talents with your next story!
2654277
thanks for the robust review. i think i agree with most of your critique, though i will say that the possibly unsatisfying nature of the conclusion is probably deliberate - the thing that i found interesting about this scenario was the detached nature of it, and the notion that Twilight is tendering a handjob purely for your benefit, in as uninterested a fashion as possible, just to get you off and return to her studying
think you hit the nail on the head with the studying, though in my mind it's a minor detail that i included as a throw-away half gag - will probably touch it up to be something a little more believable in a bit
thanks again for the review, and keep doing what you do. all author's should be appreciative of comments like these.
The consumption of this story has filled me up with so much in the way of endorphines, that I managed to make two gut-wrenching decisions basically right after ... finishing.
So thanks to you, I now have what can easily pass for a date and some other direction I sorely needed.
All because of you!!!!
So if there's anything I can do for you, just let me know. For example if you need something latinized, I can write that semi fluently. Or anything else really, you're awesome.
2653995 i play on and off, my on periods aren't very long...
Another great read from the author known as Darf, splendid job!
Where'd you get the cover image from?
2654311
Darf May I say that this is really good!
May I also say I'd personally love to see more? if thats okay to say
webmemes.org(pukerainbow)
Wow! I need a cigarette after that! Good "job".
Normally I dislike fics written like this (The "You're in the cockpit" mentality) but this one was okay.
Didn't really stand out among humanized fics, but it was decent.
Where did the coverart come from origionally? I want a link.
sequel!!!
2656069
Yea, I've seen it before somewhere, but I just can't remember the name of the artist... I'll try to find out for you.
[EDIT: Found it. Artist for the cover image goes by the name of Emperpep. Stick that into google, and you should find what you're looking for.]
Simply put: I like it.
2656473
Awesomez. Thanks
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv15t9n0Ln1qd7uwho1_r1_400.gif
Am I the only one who kept thinking, "Just let her freakin' study!"?
Let's assume that one year constitutes a light load of 27 units (12 units for Fall, 12 for Spring, 3 for Summer), and each unit represents one hour of in-class time per week. That means that in the semester in which this occurs, she is taking 54 units, and spends 54 hours in class per week. Assuming 5 days per school week, that's 10.8 hours of inclass time per day (with some leeway, as most colleges I know don't do full-time schedules on Fridays, and generally avoid weekends). That leaves her 13.2 hours in the day, 8-9 of which should be reserved for a healthy amount of sleep, for a remaining amount of free time as 4.2 hours per day. Subtract out travel time and eating, I'd estimate that she only has 3 hours of free time per weekday, most of which she'd spend on campus or studying; to compare, most of us probably can't get off the internet until we've spent 3 hours or so online.
(And this assumes a light load of 27 units per year. Most major institutions will require a student to complete 30 units or more per year. At 30 units, she'd only have one hour or so free)
Just looking at the statistics, even if she spent all her remaining free time studying with 27 unit years, her ratio of study time to class time is 47 hours to 54 hours (about .87 - 1), while most counselors suggest a 2-1 ratio (and most achieving college students realistically practice 1-1 or 1.5-1). Already facing a major time disadvantage that puts her entire academic career on jeopardy, I couldn't help but end up despising the protagonist for his intentions; it made Me want to slap Me for being such a ponce. I mean, Christ dude, be lucky she even has time to socialize with you, much less not be suicidal from the immense academic pressure she's in.
I liked the story, albeit it was a bit plain and simple (prose flowed really well and the descriptions were nice, but there wasn't much character depth nor setting understanding, so it was all happening in some sexual fantasy vacuum), but my biggest complaint was ME (or YOU... I don't know how I address second-person protagonists). Just let her study.
Or give a handjob. Whatever.
It was a good fic, but I still really have no idea why people write stuff like this in second person.
Is it just because you're too lazy to make up a character? Immersion? Or what?
Because as good as it is, I still can't help but feel annoyed at the fact that a line of text is telling me what I'm doing, while lacking any sort of interactivity.
Why don't you all just exchange every "you" with "I" and so on, and make it first person? What is the actual argument for making a second-person fic?
2652983
Everyone.
and their anus.
Excuse me but
...Just... Yes.
2653630 YOU HAVE THE GOD VOTE. IT SHALL BE COUNTED FIVE TIMES.
Would read if it wasn't second person. Just gonna add to read later, 'cause I MAY come around to reading this possibly magnificent clop.
Would smash story pic Twilight with the fury of 1000 Dwarven Axe-throwers.
Fucking brilliant!
Very engaging story. Any chance of seeing last weekend? Or the next one?
2657859 You're over-thinking fictional porn, dude.