• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jul 27th, 2013

Trachyon


Comments ( 60 )

As Regidar might say...
I came.

In all seriousness, very well done. Extremely immersive and hot. I only noticed three or four spelling errors and maybe one grammar error which I can't remember the exact location of...and in a chapter nearly 20,000 words long, that's impressive.

Okay, I haven't read anything on FimFic in an unsettling amount of time. This is the first thing I've read in months, and....
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/238/610/3fe.gif
Holy hot damn. THAT was good.

I have but two complaints. One being the occasional spelling error here and there, which is nothing a proofreader or two couldn't resolve. The other complaint is that I believe there could have been a bit more fun involving the, ahem..."inflated balloons." Of course, that's more of a guilty pleasure of mine than anything else. :twilightblush:

Overall, I await eagerly for a continuation or what have you. Glorious exposition, comrade!

Cheers,
~Kody910

I loved this fic! And I don't even like humanized fics, pretty much at all. I didn't spot any errors, but I usually don't notice errors anyway. Also I like (correct me if I'm wrong) but you (kind of) referenced Newton and his Gravity theories with falling apples, I don't know if that was intentional, but it was brilliant. So, yeah, I guess that's going to be my comment, and keep up the brilliant work! :twilightsmile:

This was actually a really captivating story!

Fave'd!:pinkiehappy:

Seriously good - thanks for writing.

2598614

Thank you very much! I did go through this a few times searching for errors, because I like to be pedantic about that sort of thing, but partial credit has to go to reverse_clopper, Harry_T and MyLittleClopAcct over on reddit's /r/clopclop!

All in all, not too bad, considering I wrote most of this between 12am and 4am on an Ipod.

2598691

Thanks for the kind words! I'll have another look through the fic for any spelling errors I may have missed, and see if I can get them all fixed.

I was thinking about doing something more with the expansion spell, but for some reason it didn't get fully fleshed out. I've literally just now thought of how to include it in the next chapter though, so consider that upcoming segment dedicated to you!

2598699

It really means a lot to me that you enjoyed this despite not liking humanised fics! Thank you so much!

Also, yes, I had the idea for an apple specifically because of Newton. Nice catch!

2598923 You get a thanks!

2598970 And you get a thanks!

Everybody gets thanks!

All honesty. This is the best romance fic I have read.

Did you know that in this entire fanfic, the words "penis", "vagina", "organ", "rod", "ass", "boobs" and "tits" aren't mentioned once

That made the fic for me! I am tired of authors using words like that and cussing during the sex part of a story. I know there are people who swear during those times but that ruins the mood for me.

This was amazing! 11/10 Im gonna read this again soon ;)

I would like to read the continued romance between this dood and Twi. keep up the good work, and sometimes some nice romance is what we need,

2599989

I might guess that in a large percentage of cases, all the swearing is because of frequent exposure to porn, and relatively infrequent exposure to real sex. I dunno about you, but if I yelled out "FUCK MY DICK WITH YOUR TITS, YOU BUMFACE" then it'd kinda be a mood-kill.

Not to say it's always inappropriate, though. If I were writing a raunchier story featuring Vinyl Scratch characterised as a hardcore DJ, then I might expect some stronger language.

As it is, I'm just fine keeping my stories romantic, intimate, and non-porny for now. What can I say, I'm old fashioned like that.

2600549

I don't know exactly how continued it might be, unfortunately. Right now I only have solid plans for another chapter, which would pretty much just be an epilogue.

Then again, I hardly ever stick to my plans when writing. As a matter of fact, I've just thought of the setting for a middle chapter I could add. Let's see where that goes.

great story!:pinkiehappy:

Did you know that in this entire fanfic, the words "penis", "vagina", "organ", "rod", "ass", "boobs" and "tits" aren't mentioned once? I know, crazy, right?

i think it's better when you're more subtle about it like instead of saying penis you say 'length' or something.

2601223

I agree. I noticed when writing that I used the word "shaft" quite a fair bit, but I'm hoping it's not too much. I personally think it's not as direct and clinical as "penis" but gets the message across about as well.

2601476 yeah you did a great job with this!:pinkiehappy:

This...this is something else. Something good. Really really good.

Amazing

"'Twilight,' you cut her off, hoping to stop any tears from falling from Twilight's now glistening eyes. Could people even cry in zero gravity?"

While you can cry, the tears don't actually go anywhere as explained by the wondrous Chris Hadfield in this video:

In other news I can't believe I just posted this here.

Excuse me, I need to go praise this work. Simply amazing. Good work with this, best thing I have read in a while!

Now that was a mighty fine read. Even though they were both humanized I now have a new headcanon regarding humans in EQ.

Unicorn horns are based loosely on keratin, the stuff fingernails and toenails are made of, except they have skin covering it. Humans can learn magic and can expel spells through their hands and feet. Also they've developed a martial art regarding this which involves dodging magical blasts (flips, ducks, rolls, rebounding, etc) and countering with your own.

Thank you, and your writing was exceptional.

2605857

Now that's a headcanon I may adopt and expand upon, if I ever make a story which could utilise it. It sounds sort of like Bending in Nickelodeon's Avatar.

Hmm... An Avatar/MLP crossover featuring Magicbending? Not the sort of thing I think I'd write, plus I already have a Metroid crossover and Alan Wake crossover in planning, but I'd be interested in seeing it done by somebody else.

I don't know why I've never really done anything with horned humans before, though. In my last fic with Rainbow Dash I did winged humans, but in my mind Magic Users have always been hornless. Maybe that'll change in the future.

Also, thanks for the praise!

2603871

Yeah, I remember seeing the original question pop up a few times on a reddit AMA thread by Chris Hadfield a while back. Unfortunately, I don't think that this humanised Equestria has a Chris Hadfield to test out these things!

2606064. Interesting... And if you want some more ideas, here's This!

I don't consider myself a judge of this kind of writing (or perhaps in general, but this kind in particular), but that was a really good read. I don't know if you intend to write more of this, but if you did I'd definitely read.

2606167

Wow, some pretty interesting stuff there, especially the second paragraph of this comment here.

My own personal headcanon (which I may expand upon in a possible Metroid crossover) for the pony races and magic is somewhat similar to yours, in that each race utilises magic in a different manner. Earth Ponies have magically saturated muscles and bones, granting strength and letting it be absorbed into soil for agricultural purposes. Pegasus Ponies have lighter bones which are magically strengthened to withstand impacts, as well as magically saturated wings which react with ambient magic to grant flight. Unicorns possess their horns, which are internally comprised of a crystalline material (which may or may not be actual crystallised magic) that links directly into the brain, granting fine control over magical fields.

Headcanon, away!

2607038

Two more chapters for this particular fic, both in production, then I think I'll wrap it up. I originally intended for this to be a one-shot, but people seem to really like it, so I'll do a bit more for that reason.

Bro.

Awesome story, nice twist with zero-g (The world does need more of it. Dead Space would be a start, but that would be really freaky. Probably.), and my favorite (If only known one) quote from Mark Twain?

3 thumbs up out of two (Don't ask).
And a Favorite.
And a pnkiehappy. :pinkiehappy:

Oh, but you're wrong. The story DOES have plot. Sweet (humanized) pony plot. Sweet (humanized) Twilight Sparkle pony plot, to be exact. Loved the story.

Best fanfic ever!!! Amazing job!!! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: If you are still wondering what to put in the chapters to come, (If you have intent on making more.) Is: I think it would be cool if she became an alicorn (Er human alicorn or what ever.) Princess in this story line. And, get this, The second person becomes her Prince!!! That would be epic! :heart::heart: obviously you can do anything you want, but i'm just saying i felt would be cool in this story. Also... I feel so warm and fuzzy,:rainbowkiss: that's why i LOVE second person fics! Keep up the good work!:heart::heart::heart:

Perfect. Just perfect. You, sir, have just earned yourself another follower. :twilightsmile: Please tell me you're planning to continue this story. I would love to read more.

2612073

I've already got plans for the continuation. They may or may not the include the idea you're suggesting.

Also, thanks for the kind words! It's inspiring to know that a story of mine can cause that warm and fuzzy feeling in even just one person!

2613449

Yep, two more chapters, then I'll be moving on.

Maybe I'll write a Pinkie Pie story, or one with Fluttershy in it next. Actually, I've got drafts saved for another story with Rainbow Dash, and one featuring Luna, so I'll probably do one of those in the future.

Motherf--king dammit! I want to like this one, I really do. But the blasted 2nd Person Perspective throws me for a loop. It's jarring, I can't get into it, every time I hit the words that adress the main character I snap out of focus, losing the scene and any kind of appeal it may have had for me! And it's not just this one, it's every, single, second person story ever! I'm going out of my mind here!

[Sorry about that, I just really wanted to like this one and it's my own mindset preventing it. You have no idea how frustrating that is.:fluttercry:]

2614954

You know I could address that if you wanted me to. Give me a character name and a month if you want 3rd person perspective, or just a month if you want 1st person.

I say a month because even though a rewrite shouldn't take as long as the story itself, I'm still writing the chapters for this one. Hell, I could do a copy of those in 1st person or 3rd person too. It's no trouble for me, and I'm about to get a load of free time anyway. So don't worry about taking up my time, because this'll probably be a back-burner sort of project.

Interested?

You know you can't really have sex in 0-G, Right? :rainbowdetermined2:
You push each other apart with each thrust. One thrust and she pops right off you. :rainbowderp:
Of course, there's still the whole blood pressure thing.
Best just to have sex in your space ship's centrifuge and pretend there is gravity. :pinkiesick:

Here's the good news: NASA already has invented a 'special' sleeping bag MADE for sex in space, for the longer trips.

"looks at picture"

Oh, goddamnit, all this clop is going to kill me.

"Clops."

2616867
I'm no astronaut, and I've only really experienced zero-g in my dreams, which are notorious for being unreliable, but I'd hypothesise (yes, "hypothesise", because this is fully testable) that with a firm grip on the hips you'd be able to thrust and still maintain contact with your arms, even though exerting that much force for extended periods of time might tire you out. I'd also say that if one partner had the legs wrapped around the other it would increase the ease of thrusting while still maintaining grip.

NASA, if you're reading this, then I personally volunteer to test out my own hypothesis in a controlled environment.

2619803

Of course you could hang on. It would probably be too awkward to enjoy, though. IDK, but I don't really plan on having sex in space.

2615085 What exactly would that entail. Would you releasing two versions, one right here and another as a separate story, or would it show up as sort of interludes between chapters in this story? Month: July. Name: Glyph?

"You bounce on your toes, and hop up a few centimetres higher than you were expecting, falling back down with a slightly lighter impact."

When you push up with momentum p you will come back down with momentum -p, independent of the strength of gravity. So the lesser impact thing makes no sense.

I just figured i'd point that out as you want this story to be as "physics-accurate" as possible.

But aside from that point i was impressed by how well you implemented the dynamics of classical mechanics.

2630705

Two different versions, the 2nd person one I'll post as normal, but the customised 3rd person version I can send to you privately, unless there's additional want for it.

Very well done, I actually forgot I was reading a clopfic, I'd love to see what happens further between the two characters!:twilightblush:

2770490

Don't worry, you will!

I'd say "soon" but, well... that's kind of a relative term. Even with what holiday time i've had, I've barely managed to sit down and just write.

I actually have too much of a work and social life to find the time to sit down and write porn-fics. Why is my life like this.

2783209Dude.
Zero g sex, a new fetish of mine after reading Taking Flight.
Breast expansion, already a fetish of mine.
Great story, well written.
Romace builds without getting too kinky before the actual sex.
Makes everything that Taking Flight did good even better.
Great portrayal of characters, clearly you've got a good handle on how they should act.
9 cupcakes out of ten. Faved.
Continue writing romance like this. I BEG you. Even if it doesn't have clop, you are very talented at writing second person romance, one of the best I've seen at it. Consider something like a multiple-chapter story written in the sort of universe you seem to use - humanized Equestria that still has magic users, pegasi, and earth ponies. I'll fricken pay you to write something like that. Seriously.

2770490You know it's good when that happens.

Let's get on with the unadulterated worshiping of this piece of pure brilliance
THERE WAS NOT ONE SINGLE WORD I DID NOT LOVE
I love this story, and I want you to keep writing
I don't care if it's not this story, your writing is FUCKING MASTERFUL, although I would love more of this story, not just a bonus chapter.
But either way, whatever you do, whether you continue this story, or write an entirely new one, I am sure I am going to enjoy it immensely
tl;dr
I LOVE YOU :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
1000/10

2616867 That is the damn kinkiest thing I've ever heard.

Count me in! :moustache:

4993644
That comment was over a year old...
Why the hell are you responding to it?

Ground control to Major Tom.

You've really made the grade...

Thank you for that reference.

Could people even cry in zero gravity?

Actually...

Login or register to comment