Lyra Heartstings is a pony with an obsession. Humans, mythical creatures from ancient history. Before now, she was just a theorist, a madmare. But with the discovery of the crystal caves beneath Canterlot, all the clues finally make sense. Now it's up to one pony to brave the depths, the fury of Equestria's finest at her hooves, and find the truth.

The April 1st chapter of Anthropology, which was temporarily posted in place of Chapter 18. I certainly was not going to let this masterpiece disappear forever.

Everyone wanted to see what would happen if Lyra watched an episode of My Little Pony, so I took that concept and pushed it to its most logical conclusion.

Ever found yourself walking on a park, falling into a wormhole, and waking up on Equestria? Were you a common pony living your life, and suddenly woke up chained on a basement?

Don't worry, because the new subdivision of secret things is here to help you!

And relax; in the end, you'll not remember a thing about it.

After years of research and study, Lyra Heartstrings publishes a guide to everything human: Lyra Heartstrings Guide to Human Culture and Biology. Unfortunately a lot of what is written is inferred, and Lyra never learned good judgement on inferences.

OC label is for fake citation within the text.
Random parentheticals containing names are meant to be Lyras citations.
Italicized text is when BonBon is reacting to Lyra's "facts."
It would be greatly appreciated if you could post recommended OC names in the comments, I'm terrible at coming up with pony names.

After Bon Bon reveals some ...rather unsettling information, she gets thrown in jail. Lyra pays her a visit. Too bad they won't let her post bail.

For those who asked, a single-color text version can be found HEREThe Mare declares I can't link to unpublished stories anymore. Now in blog form.

On a starry, moonlit night, Lyra discovers a baby on her doorstep. More surprisingly, the little bundle is a baby human... and Lyra is, well... Lyra.

Featured!!! January 8th, 2015
Again on October 14th, 2015

In the ancient city of Sodom, Lyra and Bon Bon sneak onto Noah's Ark by pretending to be husband and wife. Thanks to a fake horn on Bon Bon, the human prophet Noah thinks the two marefriends are the missing unicorn couple he needed for the ark.

Can Lyra and Bon Bon keep their true identities hidden from Noah? It won't be easy when their every move is being scrutinized by the cripplingly homophobic earth pony couple. Will Evangelical Hope and her husband Adamic Faith expose Lyra and Bon Bon for who they are, or will this forty day cruise be smooth sailing?

Cover image by Why485

Lyra knows the truth. Lyra knows that a shadowy conspiracy dating back to the very dawn of Equestria is responsible for manipulating every major event for the past two thousand years. And Lyra does not care how many museums she has to destroy or how many transdimensional rifts she has to open in her quest to inform the public.

Now with cover image by Madmax! http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/3595/theyaretheworst.png
Spanish translation: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/No-servir-a-estos-ponis-999961442

Audiobook: https://youtu.be/W8W0xxVHtmI