Chapter Five: The Prince
By Thanqol
“This is it,” said Lyra. “Canterlot is making its move.”
“What?” said Bon Bon. She pulled her eyes off the unicorns on stage to look at Lyra.
“They know I have the human... robot,” Lyra said. “And now they’re sending in the military to cover it up. They’re going to take Trustworthy back to the humans and pretend the entire thing never happened.”
“Lyra, if they were trying to do that then surely they would have seen Trustworthy already,” Bon Bon said. She turned to look at the empty space that had briefly housed Trustworthy McLegitimate.
“Lyra?” Bon Bon said. “He’s not here anymore.”
“I can see that, Bon Bon,” Lyra said.
“Where is he?”
“I don’t know!”
“Are you saying he escaped!?”
“I don’t know!”
“Quiet in the back!” yelled one of the guards. Lyra and Bon Bon hurriedly shut up.
Shining Armour was speaking again. “I need everypony to remain calm, return to their houses, and co-operate with the investig –“
“A-hem.”
Shining turned, and bowed to the Prince in one smooth, practised movement.
“When speaking on behalf of royalty, it is customary for the Captain of the Guard to use the Royal Canterlot Voice,” Blueblood said.
Shining Armour grit his teeth. “I apologise, my Prince,” he said. He cleared his throat, turned around, and bellowed at the top of his lungs, “FLEE, LOWLY PEASANTS! COWER IN THY HOMES UNTIL WE HAVE NEED OF THEE!”
There was something of a stampede on the way out. When the dust settled, only Twilight and Rainbow Dash were left in the hall. Twilight was still frazzled and slightly burned from last night’s events, and there were sleepless hollows under her eyes.
Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, was wearing a bright orange Cone of Shame around her neck. To say that she did not look happy with this would be like saying that a snowball would not be entirely chuffed to go on a cycling tour of the City of Brass Fire. She was loathing the cone so much that it spilled over into hating the world and everything around it.
“Lowly peasants?” Twilight said.
“Twily!” Shining Armour said, bounding forwards and embracing his sister. “How have you been?”
“Awful,” she said, “but what are you doing? Martial law?”
“Celestia’s in a panic. It’ll only be until we find –“
“A-hem!”
Shining Armour rolled his eyes at Twilight, then turned and bowed to Blueblood. “Yes, my Prince?”
“Captain, the reason why we’re here is classified, if you do recall.”
“But this is my sister, Twilight!” Shining Armour protested.
“Who?” Blueblood said, arching a single golden eyebrow.
“Element of Magic? Defeated Discord?” Shining Armour said. He was trying quite hard to keep his tone level.
“Never heard of her,” Blueblood said. “And, more to the point, she is a potential suspect in the investigation. One trusts you will be able to stay objective about this and not let your personal feelings get in the way?”
“I – yes, my Prince,” Shining Armour said through grit teeth.
“Hey! You can’t talk about Twilight like that!” Rainbow Dash said, flying forwards and getting all up in Blueblood’s grill. The Cone of Shame was not particularly aerodynamic, causing her to stumble and spin a few times in mid air, which just made her snarl all the more into the Prince’s face.
“Ah. Rainbow Dash?” Blueblood said. “One has heard of you.”
“You have?” Rainbow Dash’s anger was instantly forgotten.
“Yes. Best Young Flyer and Captain of the Weather Team. Quite a set of achievements.” Blueblood said. Rainbow Dash preened. Twilight Sparkle fumed.
“Well, yeah, I am pretty amazing,” Rainbow Dash said. She blushed a little at the flattery.
“In fact, one has a special mission for you. One would trust nopony else with it,” Blueblood said. His eyes shined with his incredible charm.
Rainbow’s eyes lit up like stars. “You can count on me! What do you need me to do? Organise a search team? Deploy a hurricane? Fight a monster?”
“One notices that there is a thunderstorm brewing,” Blueblood observed.
“Yes?”
“It would be tragic if any rain were to stain one’s celestial battle armour.” Blueblood said with a smile.
Rainbow Dash’s own smile was now rather blank.
“One trusts there will be no issue?” Blueblood said.
Rainbow Dash snapped into a salute. Her hoof bounced off the rim of the Cone of Shame. “You can count on me, your Highness!”
*
“This is bad for so many reasons,” Bon Bon said. Lyra was inclined to agree.
“I always knew something like this would happen when I finally made contact, but I didn’t think Celestia would actually declare martial law,” Lyra said. “Now we’ve got the entire army standing between us and the Truth.”
“It’s really happening, isn’t it?” Bon Bon said. “You were right. You were right about everything. This is the cover up.”
“Yes. We can’t wait any more. We have to show Trustworthy to everypony and denounce Celestia’s tyrant reign. It’s the only way,” Lyra said.
“So what do we do?” Bon Bon said.
“We need to find Trustworthy. If the Guard gets him we’ll never see him again,” Lyra said. She watched the guard patrols as they began to spread out over Ponyville. “We need to split up. You check everything between here and Sweet Apple Acres, and I’ll see what I can do from my home. Meet me there.”
“All right,” Bon Bon said. She took a deep breath, and galloped towards Sweet Apple Acres. There was a flash of lightning and rain started to pour down. Thunder rolled in the distance, deep and throaty, like some ancient god clearing his throat.
*
“So, where to, your Highness?” Rainbow Dash said. She was trying her best to stay professional about this. Maybe celestial battle whatsist had exposed wiring that’d mess up if it got wet. Maybe it was a military decision. She could work with that.
“Do you happen to know where Lady d’Heartstrings lives?” Blueblood asked.
“Lyra?” Rainbow Dash said, confused. “Well yeah. Unfortunately. Why do you want to go to Creepy Town Central?”
“One has business,” Prince Blueblood said. He did not look to be in danger of elaborating on this.
“Your Highness, do you really think –“ Shining Armour started. Blueblood raised a single hoof to cut him off.
“This will take but a minute. I will not need you to accompany me, Captain. Run the search until I return.”
Shining Armour saluted. He could have questioned this but he was relieved to get even fifteen minutes to himself. “As you command, my Prince!”
Rainbow Dash flew up to the cloud layer and began to accelerate. In less than a minute she’d cleared a swathe of blue sky leading directly from the town hall to the house of Lyra Heartstrings. She zoomed back into place and landed proudly.
Prince Blueblood smiled, but he didn’t step out of the town hall.
“It’s... clear,” Rainbow Dash said. “No rain.” She waved a hoof as if to prove it.
“One notices that the ground is muddy,” Blueblood said gently.
“Uh, yeah?” Rainbow Dash looked down at the ground, and then back up at Blueblood.
“One trusts that there will be no issue?”
Something Rarity had once said echoed through Rainbow Dash’s head. Something about inflicting royal pain.
She saluted and got to work.
*
+She’s coming. Remember, just like we practised.+
Bon Bon heard the thought as if from a great distance as she galloped out over Sweet Apple Acres. On the front porch of the farmhouse, Trustworthy McLegitimate and Applejack were sitting over cider. Trustworthy waved as she approached. Applejack stared at Bon Bon with a blank zombie gaze.
Bon Bon had to stop to catch her breath as she arrived, and shook the rain off her coat as she stepped under cover. Trustworthy waved her over. +Hey, it’s my long-lost cousin! How are you doing, Trustworthy?+
“Where... did you get to?” Bon Bon gasped.
+Well, when that poor doll Applejack left in such distress I thought, ‘Why, Trustworthy! That pony obviously needs a shoulder to cry on! I should go and see what assistance I might render as a fellow, normal pony!’+
Applejack maintained a blank, empty-eyed zombie stare. Some drool emerged from the edge of her mouth. Bon Bon looked between her and Trustworthy uncertainly.
+Psst!+ Trustworthy jabbed Applejack in the side and thought to her in hushed tones. +That’s your cue.+
+Oh yes!+ Applejack said without her mouth moving. +Howdy... ya’ll. Ah like apples.+
“Applejack, are you feeling all right?” Bon Bon asked.
+Never better!+ thought Applejack.
+See! She’s fine. We’re all fine here!+ said Trustworthy. +Fine and dandy! Just two ponies having a nice cup of cider and watching the rain!+
“How are you drinking cider? You don’t have a mouth,” Bon Bon asked.
+Ancient tar pony secret!+ thought Trustworthy.
A blowfly landed on Applejack’s open eye. She didn’t even blink. Bon Bon’s skin crawled and she tried to wave it away. This didn’t cause a blink either.
“Uh. Applejack?” The drop of drool hanging from Applejack’s mouth dripped down onto the growing puddle at her hooves. “I’ve got to get Trustworthy away from here. Could you do a favour and not tell the Guards he was here?”
+Ah wasn’t planning to,+ Applejack thought.
“And, er... your mouth isn’t moving when you talk,” Bon Bon said, feeling like this wasn’t something she could just allow to pass by..
+I’ve been teaching her ventriloquism!+ Trustworthy McLegitimate said. +How else do you think I can talk through all this tar? But just to set your mind at rest, Applejack, say something normally would you?+
“Br...” Applejack’s throat coughed up the word in a low rasp, “Brai – Aaaaapples.”
“I see,” Bon Bon said, taking a single lengthy step back.
+Well, if you need me it’d be churlish of me to delay. I’m sorry, miss Applejack, but I seem to have business. I’ll see you again soon!+ Trustworthy McLegitimate thought. Applejack made a kind of gurgling sound.
+Sure thing. Thank you... ya’ll... for all ya’ll help, Trustworthy McLegitimate,+ Applejack thought over the gurgling. +You are the best friend a pony could hope for. And Ah say that as the Element of Trustworthyness.+
+Wow! Commended by the Element of Trustworthyness! Looks like I’m living up to my name!+ Trustworthy McLegitimate thought happily. He nudged Bon Bon in the side. +See? Even the Element of Trustworthyness vouches for me!+
“She’s the Element of Honesty,” Bon Bon said.
+Same thing,+ thought Applejack.
“Okay. Well, this has been,” Bon Bon groped for a family friendly way to say ‘unbearably horrifying’. “Nice! We should do this again. But we’ve got to get moving, Trustworthy, the Guard could be here any minute.”
+Sure thing! See you around, Applejack!+ Trustworthy thought.
+See ya’ll, Trustworthy!+ Applejack thought. Trustworthy patted her on the shoulder. She slumped to the side of her chair blankly. Trustworthy hurriedly straightened her back in place, and then started to follow Bon Bon. He broadcast a telepathic whistling sound as he walked.
*
Rainbow Dash landed just outside Lyra’s house, panting hard. She’d had to spin a whirlwind fast enough to suck all the water off the ground for the entire distance here, while at the same time keeping it small enough to not stray off the thin band of moonlight that lit up the clear path. Even though she was exhausted she was quietly proud in knowing that nopony else could have pulled that stunt off. It was like threading a needle with a cyclone, and she’d done it! With a cone on her head, no less!
Blueblood walked right past her and into the house without a second glance.
Why that no-good –
Inside the house, Blueblood stopped in the middle of the reading room. It was a place of... eclectic tastes. The windows were boarded up and armed with telescopes. Warding scrolls were nailed to the walls. A pony skull floated in a vat of ichor, slowly spinning clockwise. Shady magical tomes piled the table, along with a copy of ‘Controlling Your Inner Arsonist: A Guide To Magic For The Pyromantically Challenged’. To contrast it all there was a signed poster of Octavia on the wall, with the message, “Now please stop following me”.
“Honey,” he said. “I’m home.”
He was then immediately hit in the back of the head with something heavy and blacked out.
*
“Miss Applejack? Do you mind if we ask you a few questions?” the Royal Guardspony said uncertainly. Applejack drooled slightly.
“Uh, is she all right?” asked his partner.
“I heard her girlfriend died,” said the first. “Could be grief.”
“Well, that’s no good,” said the guard, “chances are we’re going to need the Elements of Harmony before all this is through. I know for sure I don’t want to fight –“
+Can I help ya’ll?+ Applejack thought.
“Oh, there she goes,” said the Guard in relief. “Miss Applejack, we’re looking for somepony and we were wondering if you could help us at all?”
+Oh sure. But ya’ll have to obey the farm rules while ya’ll are here.+ Applejack thought.
“Farm rules?” said the Guard.
Applejack pointed at a pile of hats.
+Ya’ll have to wear a hat,+ she thought firmly.
*
When Bon Bon and Trustworthy McLegitimate entered Lyra’s house, they saw Lyra trying quite hard to stuff Blueblood into an oven.
It was a fairly big oven, with enough room to fit even a colt like Blueblood in if everything was cleared out. Still, the slot hadn’t been big enough to cram an unconscious pony through, meaning Lyra had been forced to unscrew a lot of the bolts in the oven to open it up wide enough. There currently wasn’t any fire underneath it but, Lyra being Lyra, that wasn’t inherently reassuring.
As Bon Bon and Trustworthy entered, Lyra looked around, eyes widened, and she pointlessly tried to hide the tableau behind her body.
“Lyra,” said Bon Bon. “When I came here, I came here under the mistaken belief that it’d be less creepy than spending more time with McLegitimate.”
“Oh, this?” said Lyra, laughing airily. “Oh, it’s cool. I know him. We’re old friends. It’s like a game we play! He shows up at my home, I bludgeon him into unconsciousness and stuff him in a stove. All in good fun!”
+Oh! I love that game!+ Trustworthy McLegitimate said.
“Lyra, assaulting a royal is treason,” Bon Bon said. There were a lot of bad things she’d done recently, but treason was where she drew the line. Conspiracy to commit treason also counted as treason. All the very worst punishments in the book were for treason. There was no way to get out of treason.
“No it’s not. It’s fine, I promise,” Lyra said. As she spoke, her horn started glowing and trying to contort Blueblood into a position where he’d fit into the oven. “I’ve got a system.”
“There is no community service in the whole wide world that’ll get you out of treason!” Bon Bon shrieked. “And treason during martial law no less! Do you know what that means? It means the army punishes you! It doesn’t even go to the Princess!”
“Bon Bon! It’s fine! I’ve done this before!” said Lyra, trying to cram Blueblood’s leg into the stove.
“How!? How!?” Bon Bon shrieked. “How can you possibly be getting away with this!?”
“Because I am Archduchess Lyra d’Heartstrings,” Lyra said. She slammed the oven shut and all the bolts spun into place. “And this is my fiancé, Prince Blueblood.”