Celestia has held off telling Twilight Sparkle about her immortal biology for years.

And now that she's told her successor about it... she'll wish she hadn't.

Special thanks to Toriandthehorse, for being a wonderful proofreader, editor, and friend.

Now with a Russian Translation by Nogood (who despite the name, is a good pony).

Now with a Korean Translation by B1ackSteel! Thank you again!

In a dimly lit tavern, Rarity tells Twilight a tale of loss, heartbreak, and how you haven't lived life until you've sobbed in a bar.

Princess Celestia sent her student, Twilight Sparkle, to meet five mares in Ponyville who will help set up the Summer Sun Celebration.

She just never said they'd be hot.

Chinese translation by SoothingBell!

Gilda only wanted the humble things in life. Cheap rent, copious bits, the respect of her peers, the occasional juicy field-mouse.

Being captured by the Equestrians and dragooned into the Territorials wasn't quite what she'd dreamed of, but at least the rent was free.

And the rats were nice and plump.

During a night out together, Rarity discovers that Rainbow Dash is struggling with her love life. Always willing to help a friend in need, Rarity decides that what Rainbow Dash needs is to be shown how to go on dates that she'll really enjoy, and what better pony to show her than Rarity herself?

It is a tale well known to all: Twilight Sparkle, immortal alicorn, forced to face the world without her friends. Time having separated them, never to meet again, leaving only one Princess all alone, the last to remember those happy times. Alone in her castle, mourning all she has lost.

...too bad certain ponies have no sense of the dramatic and are too inconsiderate to actually be dead.

Unicorns are historically superior to other races.

Twilight finds out why.

Edited by Aragon and R5h, uniquely inspired by KitsuneRisu.

When Twilight creates an amulet that bestows ultimate knowledge, she must face her greatest foe yet -- statistics!

My entry in the second Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Competition! Written in one hour and unedited. Based on the prompt: "Technically Not Terrible."

"The stars are GONE!" Twilight declares at an emergency faculty meeting at the School of Friendship. Is it an impending apocalyptic disaster... or is this a classic case of Twilighting? Starlight's got a guess...

WINNER of the 1st "Quills and Sofas" Group Speed-Writing Competition!

Also, may contain some real gripes from a real high-school teacher who knows some academic horse-hockey when he sees it...

Cover image used with permission from OinkTweetStudios! Check 'em out, they do awesome work!