For a human that ended up in an alien world full of talking ponies, you've been living a surprisingly boring life. Sure, you have friends and go on adventures and stuff, but you don't really have a "purpose" per se. At least, you didn't until about a month ago, when a "heinous villain" that had been turned to stone went missing from Canterlot. Now, there's a washed-up queen crashing in your basement and stealing your love.

If only you could get her to admit that she doesn't actually steal it from you.

TTS Reading of the entire fiction: Courtesy of the FanFiction Reader on Youtube.

Character List: Courtesy of TruthHut (A work in progress)

Handy is not a happy man at the best of times.

He was even less happy to find himself in an alien world that offended the very laws of physics and got injured for his own stubborn refusal to accept the obvious path fate had apparently laid out for him.

For his trouble he is now on a journey, with the long term goal of finding his way back home, only to find himself involved in plots and machinations so far above his head and cares that he quickly becomes a pawn in a game played by powers who care not for his well-being.

Quite like his life back on Earth if you think about it.

Needless to say, Handy does not care for any of it. He is much more preoccupied with the more immediate and pressing mundane concerns of day to day life a human needs to worry about while in Equestria.

Obtaining a new pair of shoes for example.

All this and one almighty hangover, what's the worst that could happen?

Rated teen for harsh language and minor violence

Proofread by JBL, Jude and Usurper

Nicholas doesn't really know Princess Celestia. Sure, he's met her once or twice, when Twilight was still trying to find a way to get him home. Exchanged pleasantries and what not. But never had he had a real, sit-down conversation with her.

Now, he's been summoned to Canterlot to work as Celestia's advisor. He has no other options but to accept.

Cover art used with permission by Miokomata. Go check them out!

Audio reading of prologue by StraightToThePointStudio. Go check them out!

Luster Dawn is having the worst day of her life. How will she be affected when she receives a visit from the strangest-looking creature she has ever seen?

Featured the same day as posting! Thank you all so much!!

EDIT 06/14/2020: Now with an audio reading, compliments of StraightToThePointStudio!

Luna is bored out of her mind because it is the quietest of quiet nights.

Then, humming to himself, hoves into view the local human - the one her sister keeps around for...

...some reason.

Seeing an opportunity to alleviate her crushing, mind-numbing boredom if only briefly Luna grabs it with both hooves and calls him over. Useless chatter follows, and a Gameboy is involved.

Nothing of note occurs.

(My interpretation of Vdrake77's Idol Hooves during the Canterlot wedding)

*Edits for the first two chapters kindly provided by Airy Words!

Idol Hooves is the only changeling in the entire Equestrian Guard, and has been proudly serving for over a decade (while disguised). His enlistment buddy and friend, Shining Armor, the current Captain of the Guard, is finally taking the next step to officially becoming Princess Cadence' s personal guard, 24/7.

With most guards being reassigned to the wedding, Idol (by Luna's demand) is given the temporary assignment to be Princess Luna's personal gaurd due to a shortage in the Night Gaurds numbers.

Now, after another all-nighter looking for potential threats and with Idol's persistence, Luna finally agrees and turns in for the day. With Idol Hooves being the sole guard watching Luna's door, a promise was made that could ruin Eqauestria.

Princess Luna will get her well deserved rest, and nothing short of Princess Celestia herself will wake the deathly tired princess.

This story is a sequel to Bedbound (And Beyond)

More settled now, and with all of that obliviousness cleared out of the way, John and Celestia attempt to work out a comfortable rhythm in life and generally just try to enjoy themselves in their own singular way.

Possibly there may be obstacles in this. Probably not though.

Probability of cake, tea and cuddling. Among other things.

A horse appears semi-regularly. A magical horse. Mainly she comes to relax and take up space. She's polite and friendly but it did take some getting used to.

Still. Worse things have happened.

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A reading by Straight To The Point Studio.

And by me.

Being from a completely different world means often being asked questions about that world. Rainbow asks a question she ends up slightly regretting.
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Wait, I got featured? What does that even mean?

Most work undertaken by princesses is fairly tedious, and a good chunk of it is paperwork and letters.

Celestia is interrupted while dealing with some of this.

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The Straight To The Point Studio version.
My version.