• Member Since 4th May, 2017
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Cackling Moron

"Fluff" in the same way what collects under the sofa is fluff.



Being from a completely different world means often being asked questions about that world. Rainbow asks a question she ends up slightly regretting.
Wait, I got featured? What does that even mean?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 69 )

the actual death toll was around 40 million with 20 million dead on the battle field and 21 million succumbing to wounds off the battle field,
That's also counting civilian deaths.
Just a little history fact for you

Finnaly managed to register! About to read this, cant wait!

Just finished. That was adorable.

I actually really liked this. I only wish Anon had told her about World War II. That would have been loads of fun

I figured the toll would be off, but then again the dickhead in the story is a lot like the dickhead writing it - often off the mark.

Man wars are depressing...

Ri2 #6 · May 9th, 2018 · · ·

It's a good thing he didn't tell her much about WWII. Or Vietnam. Or the Cold War. Or the War on Terror. Or the thing in the Middle East that hasn't ended despite us long outstaying our welcome. She'd be super traumatized.

eh, I'd have started on the cold one, "you know the sun?"
"Celestia's sun yep."
"imagine putting that into a bottle and letting it out on top of your enemy, how they would be incinerated in a flash, then imagine putting that bottle on a firework that you shoot at your enemy, then imagine making hundreds of thousands of those sun bottle rockets and your enemy doing the same, enough between the two of you to cover the surface of the planet with them.

now think about why we stopped fighting those big wars."

to quote rick and morty, "please, my generation is traumatized for breakfast."

If I remember correctly there's fifty thousand ponies in equestria

Jesus, really?
I think there's more people where I live...

So her reaction to the death toll is pretty on point.

“Tell me about a war.”

Me: Gets up and starts blasting this song

Apparently the first day of the Somme dumped somewhere in the region of 1400 or so tonnes of flesh onto the ground that no-one could pick up. That shit's just rough.

Is that Word of God, or an estimation from somewhere?

(And huh, Equestria only being about fifty thousand ponies - and maybe a handful of other sapients. That's kind of like Princess Celestia ruling over a large-ish (and very spread out) town, rather than a country. Considering there are multiple large cities in Equestria, some with skyscrapers... is Manehattan only a few blocks in size?)

It was in a book I read recently. Doubt it's exact but given the death toll on day one it sounds about right. Unpleasant either way.

On an unrelated note, there's a moment in the 40K Last Chancer's novels (Kill Squad, I think) where a Tau is horrified to learn there are more humans on one guy's home planet than Tau in the whole local sector.

I imagine that might happen here. Certainly, it's fun to think about.

Word of god,

We can assume most of the population lives in Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Vanhoover and Canterlot.
Ponyville originally being depicted as quite small in season one but Lauren Faust stated its size is subject to frequent changes, being closer to a moderately sized town in some images to being a small village in others.
In the comics which can be an alternate time line more than likely. Rainbow said in a talking big kinda way said that equestira could launch "A million pony attack " on the shadowlands. But that's the comics which doesn't really match up with the show.

I normally listen to music as I read... finding appropriate music for this story was looking to be a massive headache... So instead I listened to Green Fields of France and that certainly made for an interesting read.

OMG So cuuuuuuttttteeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I absolutely love it!

Ponies are rather novices in the art of war compared to humanity. I remember on story when ponies where talking about humanity and how they would have felt with Chrysalis if she had pulled that stunt on them at the wedding.

If Chrysalis pulled that shit in England, you know they would be eradicated without a thought. Or, on second thought, they might not, since they're trying to be tolerant and understanding of other cultures.

What the heck, how could you not tell her about Dracula and his... people forest...?

Lets be for real, bug horses would been exterminated on the spot for pulling a evasion at a royal wedding. Don't insult your intelligence please.?

You try telling a creature with no concept of war about a weapon that could wipe entire cities off the map in an instant with just the press of a button. See how well they take it.

Comment posted by Sage of the Leaf deleted Sep 17th, 2018

They'd probably be either shocked or depressed, each of which would be highly amusing

“Just the nasty bits! I don’t really care about the how or the why. This isn’t a human history lesson!”

This struck me as a little short-sighted but whatever

I think this is the first time a character has noted the short-sightedess of not caring about the “why” of an event.

If I asked you about wars again maybe just...don’t tell me?

Hey, Rainbow. Did you know those storms you like sound just like artillery? Crazy, huh....muahahahahaha!


eh, I'd have started on the cold one, "you know the sun?"
"Celestia's sun yep."
"imagine putting that into a bottle and letting it out on top of your enemy, how they would be incinerated in a flash, then imagine putting that bottle on a firework that you shoot at your enemy, then imagine making hundreds of thousands of those sun bottle rockets and your enemy doing the same, enough between the two of you to cover the surface of the planet with them.

now think about why we stopped fighting those big wars."

Then continue with:
"But while most of the big nations have been trying to stop those sorts of big wars from getting going, unfortunately, there are still numerous non-ending petty proxy wars the big guys are playing against one another by using smaller nations.
"And it gets even worse: there are a lot of idiot rulers of several smaller countries who think the idea of gaining those sun bottle rockets would be the coolest thing to have. Only those guys are morons who would try to use them as a shortcut to win those petty wars.
"However, those lunatics aren't thinking the process through. The problem is: the moment someone uses those one of those sun bottle rockets on their small neighbors, it would trigger the big nations who already has them to immediately use them all against everyone, and there won't be ANY winners of that war--it will be truly a final war were EVERYONE loses!"

both the nukes that could wipe a city out with one bomb and the enourmous clouds of bombers that could wipe a city out in one night are equally scary and depressing. Hiroshima and Tokyo are equally devastating for opposite reasons, one being the small amount of effort required to wipe out so much, the other the enormous scale of war that could pulverize and burn 16 square miles of land using tens of thousands of bombs delivered 10-20 at a time by a single bomber flying in squads of dozens of bombers, hundreds at a time in the span of a couple hours

This story actually got me a bit misty eyed. You're quickly becoming one of my favorite authors on here

Hello again other BoJack :derpytongue2:

Good morning, Vietnam!

They sure aren't very good at breeding, are they? :scootangel:


And BY breakfast, in some cases.

So sweet and innocent! Plus, I love your detail of history, great to see a Brit here! :moustache: Respect from a Yank
Your stories are taking up all my time...

Really should have gone for the Thirty Years War, would have been electrifying.

"Well Rainbow you've got the Hapsburgs n' there's Spain...France...Catholicism and the reformation...counter-Reformation...no-one likes Calvinism except the Calvinists, obviously...Holy Roman Empire that's actually Germany only Germany doesn't really exist but it kind of does...Swedish drink...Defenestration of Prague...Wallenstein...getting your farm burned down by starving soldiers and then getting shot...it's all very simple, Rainbow."

Rainbow would be all like:rainbowhuh:
Seriously! (I LOVE history...) I cannot remember the last time is saw someone reference the 30 Years War. FiM was the LAST place I expected that :rainbowlaugh:
It is so nice to meet a person of culture, cheers!


Yeah, maybe he's better off overall in ponyland, although a nice steak and greasy tater tots is so hard to miss...

I wonder what hydra tastes like...? :trixieshiftright:

Giggling, she wriggled over onto her back with her head flopping into my lap. I gave her a scratch behind the ears and - because she grabbed my wrist when I tried to pull it back - just kept on going. For a moment or two she just luxurated, eyes closed and head pressing against my hands before she looked up at me with those big ol’ eyes and said:

And stop starring at me with them big ol’ eyes!

Whole stretches of the landscape rendered uninhabitable for decades or sometimes longer.

Farmers here in Flanders still find shells when ploughing their fields... sometimes with explosive consequences :ajsleepy:

“I’m keeping you safe!” Rainbow said, mouth right by my ear, hug tightening. “You’re staying here and I’m keeping your safe! You’re not going back!”

"Relax... that was a hundred years ago."

"Oh yeah? The nastiest bits you got in your armies today are worse, then, aren't they?" she asked, glaring at me.

I thought briefly about nukes and armed drones, both weapons that could kill with a cold and detached button press half a world away, one with frightening scale, the other with frightening precision, and sighed. Maybe she was on to something.

Welp. That was a nice tale. but I think at the end there she might be a bit more cuddly than can be written off as just "pony cuddliness" :rainbowwild:

Spotted one error:
> don’t tell me?” She asked, looking up.
There should not be a capital letter on "she asked".

She narrowed her eyes at me. No fooling her.

“Have they had others since?” She asked.

I swallowed.

“...one or two.”

She jabbed me on the nose with a hoof and double-up on staring me down.

“You stay away from those!”

Super cute in a possessive and protective way. I can imagine a rainbow pony half my weight poking me with the tip of her hoof and telling me to stay away from strange international conflicts. Very adorable.

My concept of Rainbow at the time of writing - and still now, I suppose - is of someone who laughs in the face of danger unless that danger is threatening someone she cares about, at which point it is no longer a laughing matter and laughing in the face of danger becomes kicking danger in the face.

It’s made better by the fact that to another pony it may even be intimidating, but to us humans those giant eyes and fluffy ears just make it precious.

You made me come back and re-read this.

My hands will never be clean.

Out, damned spot!

I haven't read this before.


The one that started me down the slippery slope of magical horses.

More so than the first story on here. Which is rubbish.

So... The whole story it's excuse to show shipping. I see.

It's about the economy.

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