Luna and Celestia hunt The Derpy. Things get out of hand.

Authors Note:
Dear Cerulean Voice,
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
I'm so-rry that this sucks-sss.
Butit'sreallyyourfaultfornottellingmeuntilthedaybeforeyourbirthdayandbecauseoftimezonesIhadevenlesstimetowritethis.
But please don't be mad at me; have a good one!

Cheers, bro!

Now has a reading!

Oh, and awesome image link.

There was only one explanation. For all of it. All of the strange, erratic behavior. Her irrational fear of the sun. Her nocturnal habits of locking herself in in the dark and closing all the blinds. Wearing her sunglasses everywhere, even inside! It was time to invest in some silver, garlic, and a wooden stake.

All of Equestria is united in celebration for the return of their beloved Princess Nightmare Moon. But when Celestia and everypony else recieve her she's skeletally starved, filthy, and very nearly dead. Meanwhile, while everypony's eye is turned, a lusty Blueblood pursues Twilight Sparkle, intent on adding her bloodline to his own so his family might step closer to godhood. (Alternate Universe, there never was a Princess Luna)

[Prototype2] / MLP:FIM crossover

Not all of Alex Mercer's "Evolved" were loyal psychopaths. Some were simply desperate people who Alex thought he could easilly control once he infected them with the "Mercer Virus". However Alex was never one for fool proof plans as he quickly finds out when only a handful of his Evolved army show up at that fateful final battle between him and Heller. Oskar was one of the many of dozens of Evolved that stood by and watched as Alex was consumed and now he finds himself in a strange cutesy land filled with talking ponies. Can this viral being find peace in Equestria or will his need to be secure get in the way?

Warning: No editor so a few grammar errors can be expected :S hopefully nothing jarring though

A big thank you to EvilBob for the picture and to Fluttershade5300 for doing some post release editing for me

Ace lived his life day-by-day, minding the shop to make more than enough money to live an easy lifestyle. Things were going great, but in everypony's life, a little rain must fall; given inspiration, Ace conducts a dangerous experiment...

After the experiment ends unexpectedly, Ace has to seek out help, and the only pony he knows who might have a chance to help is a total stranger, Princess Celestia's star pupil, Twilight Sparkle.

Grateful for the bit of help Twilight is able to provide, Ace repays her in the only way he is capable: helping her with her magic and teaching her things she may never have learned otherwise.

How long before Ace's lessons get Twilight into trouble? What is a Spell Misfire, and why is Ace the only Unicorn who seems to suffer their adverse effects? Why does Ace's name sound so foreign, and where did he come from? How will Ace get along with Twilight's friends who don't have the same talent for magic? Only time will tell.

(Additional Note: The story will have words or phrases from an old language known as Al Bhed. If you're having trouble understanding the Al Bhed or pronouncing it, there's a Phonetic Translator here, provided by Stefan Gagne. Not good with phonetics? Just copy-paste them to Google's Translator [English > English] and click the speaker in the bottom right.)

Like a stallion terrified of having children, they pulled me out of retirement. I was the best Special Agent they had, which was saying a lot, because I'm about as effective at my job as a mime having a stroke, and only half as hilarious. But I've been called upon to serve my nation again, and like the gift of surprise fellatio, I am bound to serve my nation well, and hopefully without any of the implied sexual humiliation. So I gotta buckle up and prepare for survivor's guilt, just like the time I had to go up against those racially-biased SAT questions involving graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.
When you're in a noir situation like mine, you could only think in metaphors and similes.

Being independent is something that all ponies want, but even then, it's nice to know that you'd have a friend that would catch you if you fall. Unfortunately, there was no such friend to catch Equestria. As thousands of ponies were dying, a common question was asked, "Why has Celestia forsaken us?" This question was filled with sadness, fear, and anger. To some, finding an answer or some form of closure was enough to keep them going, despite having lost everything.

"Why are you late?" questioned Applejack. Her countenance continued to wrinkle in worry.

"Because this is not an appointment, Applejack. There were others close to you that required my attention," responded Death

Others close to you that required my attention. Disbelief roiled inside Applejack. Her entire body turned hot, then cold, then hot again. Anger rose within her, so great it seared the breath from her lungs. She turned to Death screaming, "Who did you take th—" That's when she saw it.

Sweet Apple Acres was on fire.

Thanks to Killsy for proofreading. Also, thanks to CalamityB31 on deviantART for the cover art. Make sure to check out his work.

This is it, the pain, the loneliness, the sadness, I will end it all today.

A/N: This is my final fanfic, it's based off RL feelings, not that it matters anyway. It's recommended that you read this while listening to this song.

Luna shoves a cellphone up her plot, and the result is GREAT, CLASSIC LITERATURE!
Also a fart joke.
I'm very sorry.
Written in 30 minutes while singing (no, not listening to, but literally screaming it at the top of my lungs) Psychostick's "Dumb Song."
Image stolen from this sane individual.