//------------------------------// // Belly Aches // Story: The Return of Princess Nightmare Moon // by Aegis Shield //------------------------------// The Return of Princess Nightmare Moon Part 8: Belly Aches On the other side of the palace, sitting serenely on her throne conducting royal business, Princess Celestia suddenly flinched like she’d been slapped on her royal tooshie. Some light buzzing was tweaking in her ear, a frequency she’d attuned herself to the very day she’d met Twilight Sparkle. The harmonic signature of her voice, in case she should ever be in truly mortal danger. It slapped her upside the head so hard she stood, startling everypony in the throne room. “Guards!” she said, rushing down the dais. “With me!” The gold-armored stallions rushed forward, their faces etched with concern and confusion. =-----=-----=-----=-----= Twilight backed up until her butt hit her bed’s end-table, screaming in mortal terror. Nightmare watched with a wince on her face at the horrible sound. Nurse Bandaid stared in slack-jawed horror, unable to even process what he’d just witnessed. Princess Nightmare Moon had just eaten a pony! And she was rubbing her belly like it was a good thing! “I caught the worm with lewd literature, intent on stealing thy virtue, Twilight Spar—” The door BURST open as a pair of stallions kicked it in. The room flooded with guards, Celestia rushing in with them. “Twilight!” she gazed quickly around the room. “I heard you screaming!” she pushed past the armored stallions. Twilight ran like a foal who had the boogieman on her heels, rushing up and under the white alicorn’s undercarriage. Celestia stutter-stepped and almost fell forward as the grown mare hid under her and between her back legs. Safest at mother’s teat, as was a foal’s instinct (though they weren’t related). Apparently it stuck well through adulthood, given Celestia’s size. “Twilight, what’s happened to you?” the white alicorn tried to back up before things became too personal in front of everypony, but Twilight only hid under her and shook like a leaf. “Sh-she ate him!” Twilight said, shaking hard. “Ate him whole!” “Sister?” Celestia looked up, aghast. “Did you eat somepony?!” She’d instantly believed Twilight, because she knew her sister quite well. In the olden times, it was not below Nightmare to simply eat somepony as punishment for some terrible deed. It served as a reminder to those that would cross her. In THIS era, though… “The whelp from your bloodline, Blueblood. He lusted after thy protégé.” Nightmare said, making an off-handed gesture with one hoof. “Thou art welcome.” “Spit him out!” Celestia demanded, wings opening aggressively. There was a shift of many armored ponies, all of their faces startled. Most of them had never seen the Princess make an angry face, much less hear her with anger in her voice. “Spit him out right now!” “We hath already swallowed.” Nightmare said snootily, looking to one side and tilting her muzzle up. “Consider it a favor, thy protégé’s purity and thy bloodline’s reputation is saved for it.” “Nurse?” Celestia turned to Bandaid, who startled like he’d been slapped. “Didn’t you say my sister should not be consuming large amounts of food? How did she manage to eat an entire stallion?” “She shrank him.” Bandaid said miserably, feeling more and more guilty he’d done nothing to stop her. “B-before I could even stop her.” The alicorn mischief was already rising in Celestia’s eyes as the master chess player side of her rose up in her gaze. “The metal from the horse shoes? And his clothes? What about those? Wouldn’t that be very unhealthy for my sister’s fragile state?” She was going somewhere with this, he could tell. Truthfully, Blueblood had been naked when he’d been… chomped, but nopony had seen his horseshoes come off. Bandaid’s face lit up suddenly. “No! No that would be terrible!” he suddenly turned and started fishing in his saddlebag. Nightmare Moon cocked her head. She’d eaten something bad? “What dost thou mean? We have a stronger stomach than that!” she stamped a little with one hoof, startling a few guards back. Twilight Sparkle whimpered from Celestia’s undercarriage. “Not in your weakened state!” Bandaid caught Celestia’s eye for only a split, twinkling second as he produced a dark brown bottle from his medical kit. It had a series of warning labels all over, and had a triple foal-proof seal on it. “You could get really sick from all that.” He twisted at the top with some strength, tossing it. “As your nurse, I must insist you drink this. To settle your stomach before you get sick.” He put on what was quite possibly the biggest, fakest smile anypony in the room had ever seen. Nightmare leaned, wrinkling her nose. “More juice, hoofservant. Hhhhh,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “Even during such drama, though art for my welfare. Admirable.” She patted his head and took the bottle. Celestia held her breath as she put it to her lips. Exactly two of the gathered guards saw the bottle’s label, and winced openly. Gulp, gulp, gulp… “A terrible flavor!” she declared, pushing it back towards her nurse. “It fizzes and burns like bad rum!” she complained, wiping her mouth animatedly. “It’s not rum…” Bandaid stepped back a little, turning his ears back and getting a safe distance away. Celestia’s eyes lidded with a mix of both pity and relief. Nightmare looked startled at his behavior. “Didst thou poison me?!” she demanded. “Sister how could you let him?!” she turned, demanding of her solar sibling and thrusting a hoof at her nose. “I did thou a favor getting rid of that whelp, and thou…” she trailed off suddenly, for her belly was feeling… off. Sort of fizzy, really. Like a cola that had been shaken up. “Hhhhm?” she said breathily, eyes racing back and forth. Celestia steeled herself a little. “I can’t let you just eat somepony, Nightmare. This is a new era. I did away with the death penalty almost three hundred years ago.” She winced when the black alicorn suddenly rushed a hoof to her mouth, looking terrified. “What did you give her?” Twilight whispered, peeking out from under her mentor’s great wingspan. “She looks like she’s gonna—” “BLRRRRRRGH!” Nightmare suddenly vomited violently all over the floor, falling to her knees and holding her sides. “Oh Faust! Mother! Mother, my insides! BLERRRRRGH!” another fountain of sick went everywhere and the gathering of guards jumped back as the floor was covered. “My insides! My insides are on fire!” she cried out for mercy as the ipecac she’d been given boiled her stomach like a poison. It was a medical drink used to make a pony suddenly and violently vomit whatever was in their stomach. It was an excellent way to relieve poisoning, or other bad things in the belly. The black alicorn staggered about the room, clutched at the bed as she writhed in agony. “Why would you-- BLERRRRRGHHH!?” suddenly a lump of white with gold flopped wetly out onto the bed. Magic arc’d back and forth as it left her body, and Prince Blueblood’s limp form suddenly popped into existence, full-sized! Nightmare Moon flopped over, violently ill and moaning. “C---curse thee, hoofservant…” she whispered, coughing before darkness took her. “I-I’ll get her to medical.” said Bandaid quickly. A few guards rushed forward to help. All of the others stood stock still, horrified. The Princess really had eaten somepony! Celestia and Twilight moved forward quickly. “Is he breathing?!” The purple mare pushed his sick-covered mane out of the way, and the smell punched her in the head. Oh gods the smell! High on desperation and panic, the mare pushed his mane back and back to get to his face. She put her head to his nostrils, holding her breath. Nothing. “I-I think he’s-!” she backed up, panic rising in her eyes. “Let me try.” Celestia came forward, leaning over him and horn aglow. “Nephew, I’m so sorry—” her eyes briefly glowed a sterile white. Bzz-zap! She jolted him with raw power. His body twitched wildly, like he’d been struck with lightning. “Blueblood, come now…” she said, zapping him again. A third time, she jolted him with raw power. Suddenly the white stallion’s eyes shot open and he pitched onto his side to vomit right onto Celestia’s hooves. “Ohhhhh!” he moaned, holding himself and flopping onto his back. “Blueblood! You’re alive!” Twilight came and threw her arms around his head without thinking, squeezing him. “I think I died…” Blueblood mumbled blearily, staring up at Twilight with uncomprehending eyes. Was he dead? Was she an angel? Heaven was pretty nice if all the angels looked like Twilight Sparkle… why did heaven smell like sick? He passed out again. “You’ll be okay nephew, I promise.” Celestia leaned, rubbing his chest gently with a hoof. The returned Prince stared up at her in confusion and shock. “I’ll have more than words with my sister Nightmare, I promise.” She turned to her guards. “See Prince Blueblood to the other medical wing, and have him checked out. Then, have him escorted home to bed. Send for a cleaning staff as well.” Celestia dished out orders to the guard stallions like it was ice cream, and they scrambled to obey. “Twilight?” she looked to her faithful student, who for some reason was still clinging to Blueblood’s head. “It’s okay…” she said gently, lowering a wing about her shoulders. “S’not okay, Princess.” Twilight said, looking up at her with soft eyes. “Nightmare Moon just shrank him down and ate him like it was no big deal! She was so casual about it!” she turned and quivered, resting her chin on Blueblood’s forehead (the stallion melted happily). “She’s so different from you! You said she was but I had no idea!” “I’ll…” Celestia paused for a moment, and gave a little sigh. “I’ll set her straight, Twilight, I promise.” She leaned down and quietly nuzzled the length of her faithful student’s mane. Twilight gave a little shudder of calm, but otherwise didn’t move. The Princess nodded, and guards moved forward to help Blueblood get to a doctor, get a bath, and maybe even some councilling. It wasn’t every day that somepony got eaten alive and lived to tell the tale. =-----=-----=-----=-----= Twilight Sparkle wandered Prince Blueblood’s bedroom. She’d brought him home unconscious on a cart, thanks to the help of some of the palace staff. The Blueblood estate staff received him gracefully, and the head butler (“Tombs”) had insisted she stay and rest a bit. If such drama had been going on, surely she needed a spot of tea and someplace to sit for a bit? The purple mare had agreed, and after Prince Blueblood had been tucked into his bed by a trio of maids, Twilight had been left alone with him. She studied the royal stallion’s natural habitat. A wide bookshelf with mostly untouched-looking items on it. A horn-fencing trophy. An academy graduation cap. A writing desk with plenty to write with. A bed, couch, and some tall windows. It seemed almost strictly functional, if not for the war-room table pressed to one side. On it was a strange mountain of disorganized papers, receipts, and other bits of madness that made Twilight’s OCD itch. Taking out her glasses and making sure nopony was around, she picked up the first thing nearest to her. It was a pie recipe. She tilted her head, setting it aside. The next thing was a trio of articles about the pro’s and cons of using corn flour and wheat flour in breads. Huh. Next she found a receipt for 10,000 bits to the Education Equestria Fund. Wasn’t that a charity to send poor foals to academy? 10,000 bits, too, whoa! Twilight felt herself fluster a little. It was probably thanks to a stallion like Blueblood that mares like her had gone to academy. Celestia had paid her way through, but… it was a lot. She glanced over at the unmoving Prince with concern etched on her face. He wasn’t as shallow as she’d thought. Quickly putting the receipt down, she saw something stamped with the familiar seal of the Royal Canterlot Library. “What’s this…?” she mumbled. It was an agenda of the past two month’s check-outs and late fees. Of course a pony like Blueblood would scoff at simple late fees, so he could practically keep any book he wanted, but… the long list of titles was what made Twilight frown: Three Dates to the Bedroom, by Smooth Talker. When You Know She’s the One: A Stallion’s Guide to Dating and Seduction, by Arrow Heart. 50 First Date Ideas, by Con Mane. Mare’s Delight and Stallion’s Smirk, by Sly Clop. What Mares Want by T.A.W. Impressin’ Your Mare With Your Sweet Dancin’ Style by Jagger Hooves The Right Time for the Right Compliment by Sweet Talker Romancing the Modern Mare by Match Maker Proper Etiquette for the Proper Stallion by Noble Cause The Complete Egghead’s Guide to Finding Your Very Special Somepony by Super Smarts Dining With Somepony Special: A Guide by Silver Fork The Beginner’s Book to Ballroom Dance by Tip-Tapper How to NOT Buck Up Your First Date by Wing Mare Mare’s Government, Stallion’s Citizenship by Municiple Engines “What have you been up to…?” Twilight whispered, rather impressed at the long list of books. As she scanned the titles her expression went from disgusted to curious to thoughtful. There was an evolution to be seen there, just in the titles. The first few were easy to understand… the middle ones a little less dodgy… and the new ones were—“Right here.” Twilight looked up to see the stack of books on the massive table. She picked up Mare’s Government, Stallion’s Citizenship and studied the summary on the back. It was a book that explained the herd mentality of mares being in charge and why this was generally better for the world. Sexist, but generally better. The purple mare rubbed her chin a little, trying to piece it together. She wasn’t thick, she knew Blueblood really wanted her, in some form or another. But this, all this? This was a scholar’s workload and then some. “Blueblood…” she mumbled, looking over her shoulder. Was he really and truly trying to better himself? She’d always known the haughty and stuck-up Prince Blueblood, but in a few short weeks now he was seeking advice from the masters of pony relationships? What had changed? She didn’t know. Carefully putting the book back, she pondered over him with a frown. She sat next to the bed with her things. Later… Bueblood awoke on a bed of the softest cotton, under a comforter that bore his family seal. He was… home? He lifted his head blearily, “It’s alright, your safe.” A cool, tender hoof touched the side of his face and guided him back to the pillow. He strained his eyes a bit, for the sun was bright streaming into the windows. “Who…?” The golden-maned stallion rasped. “It’s me.” She said, leaning into view so he could see clearly. “Twilight Sparkle?” The Prince studied her for a long few moments. She was seated at a little travel desk next to his bed, a stack of books on one side and a little stack of ruffled papers on the other. “Have… have you been watching over me?” he said a little meekly. “After you were cleaned up and such at the medical wing in the palace, I had you brought straight home.” She nodded a little, speaking softly. “Y-you didn’t have to. My room is a mess.” He confessed, turning to lay on his side with his hooves hooked over the edge of the bedspread. “Your butler Tombs insisted I stay to rest. It’s not every day you see somepony eaten alive.” She winced as soon as the words left her mouth. “Ah!” Blueblood quickly checked under the blankets. He was there. He was all there, he was okay. He let out a long breath of relief, sagging down into the pillows again. “I was sure I was done for.” He stared at the ceiling, then looked over at Twilight slowly. “How did I… escape?” he said delicately. “Princess Nightmare Moon’s nurse made her throw up with some ipecac potion.” Twilight winced, trying not to smile. “My room is still being scrubbed, you should see it.” The two of them shared a laugh, their very first shared laugh. Blueblood liked the feeling, despite where he lay. He didn’t know what ipecac was, but if it was the reason he was still alive he was glad it was… a thing. Whatever it was. “Thank you.” said the Prince in a small voice, studying his hooves. “What for?” Twilight said, blinking. “For saving me.” He said in an equally small voice. “You could’ve just let her, you know— digest me.” He mumbled, looking anywhere but her. “Thank you.” He said again. Mild color found Twilight’s cheeks. “We don’t get along very well, but that doesn’t mean that I’m gonna let somepony eat you.” The purple mare said matter-of-factly. There was an awkward silence, which Twilight quickly filled with a very clinical, “How are you feeling? Dizzy? Anything?” She came to the bedside to look him over a bit. The stallion shrank as though she might bite him. Twilight Sparkle was in his bedroom, eyeballing him. He would’ve given anything for this some weeks ago, but today it was very frightening. He wasn’t ready for such things, ancestors be damned! “Just tired, I think.” He quickly answered, eager to be away from such topics. “Well, I’ll let you rest I think.” Twilight nodded, smiling a bit awkwardly. “If you need anything, well, you’ve got your servants I guess.” She thought better of whatever it was she was about to offer. Why was she feeling this connection to him? Was it because she’d seen him almost die? Was it the stack of book titles already banging around in her head? Something was tugging at her curiosity. “Oh yes, my servants.” Blueblood said, coughing a bit. “They’re quite good. Tombs too.” He said. “Oh yes, he’s really nice.” Twilight was backing up. “W-well, see you around the palace. Hope you feel better!” she turned to go. Blueblood tried to find some wonderful compliment to shout to her back, but the ‘you smell nice’ weighed heavily on his heart and he couldn’t bring himself to say much more than, “G’bye!” and awkwardly lay back in his sheets again. Sometime later, while Blueblood was sleeping, Tombs slipped into the room. Twirling his oiled mustache just a bit to make sure it was pristine, he motioned a pair of maids into the room with him. Quietly, very quietly, they began to gather up all the papers, receipts, and other things on the war-room table. They would be returned to their proper folders, drawers, and other hiding places by the time the Prince was awake again. He would never know that they’d been laid out on display for Twilight Sparkle to see. =-----=-----=-----=-----= Nightmare Moon was staring at her personal nurse with the biggest, darkest scowl she could conjure. Sitting behind her desk in her room, she looked away when he chanced a glance at her. She would NOT look at Bandaid, at least not to his knowledge. He had poisoned her to make her vomit up Prince Blueblood, and she was very cross about it. Celestia had banished her to her room for one thousand minutes. Some quick work on her abacus told her that was a little over sixteen hours, but the veiled jab did not fall on deaf ears. After lecturing her ear off about new Equestrian law, the solar sister had all but locked her sister in the Obsidian Hall and posted guards there. Nightmare wasn’t powerful enough to get past them all. Attempted murder, she’d said. Ignorance of the law was not an excuse, she’d said. Twilight could take care of herself, she’d said. Nightmare Moon could not be in a fouler mood. Poisoned by her own nurse, locked in her room like a foal, and a bit sick to her belly too. She turned to glare at Bandaid while he was reading a magazine by the fireside. She would not admit she was in pain because her belly was empty. Scowling over a more detailed version of her night sky works, she corked her ink well and set the quill down with a snap. This made the nurse look up at her with a cautious, though curious, gaze. Bandaid smiled carefully at his Princess. He knew she’d be mad at him, but somepony’s life had been at stake. He had a medical oath to uphold. He could not, by action or inaction, let somepony to medically come to harm. That included being digested by another pony. After Nightmare Moon had been given some real stomach meds and escorted back to her room, there had been a tense silence between them. “Hoofservant.” Nightmare finally spoke, turning and rising from her chair. “Yes, your Majesty?” “How near are we to being well again?” she asked with a frown. Bandaid sighed a little. “I don’t know, Princess. Your body is still filling in, your magic is growing stronger, and you’re a bit more lively than before. Other than that, it’s all foal-steps of progress.” He closed his magazine and stood to face her. The dark goddess admired him for his courage. She knew of lesser ponies that would tremble before her. “Are you hurting, maybe?” he asked. “I could preen you again…?” it came out like a question but she shook her head. “Niegh, our feathers feel fine.” She flapped her wings just a bit. “We are still cross with thee, make no mistake.” She leaned forward a bit, her tone threatening. “For now, however, we are prisoners in my room. We shalt at least make the best of it.” Going over to the sofa in front of the hot fire, she clambered up onto it. “Wilt thou rub my weak legs again?” she offered a Royal hoof. “Yes, of course!” he said, setting his medical bag down. “I even found something for your while were in the medical wing today.” Bandaid smiled. “It’s a medicinal lotion, meant for joint pain. I know your knees and ankles have been hurting you a little, by how you walk.” Nightmare startled a little. Had he been looking that close? Well… yes, she supposed he was. It was his job, after all, to see to her welfare… or to dose her with poison at her sister’s command. She frowned a bit, feelings mixed. Draping herself onto her belly, she cautiously laid out a leg for him. “This shan’t make us spasm or something of the sort, we hope?” she made a jab at him with lidded eyes. “I’m sorry about the ipecac.” The medical stallion finally sighed aloud, wilting at her. “I couldn’t just… just let your eat somepony.” He fiddled with the lotion bottle, setting it next to him. Although he knelt next to her and had her hoof in both of his, he couldn’t bring himself to look up at her. “Our sister tells us –ahh, cold!” she flinched when he touched her with a blob of the greenish lotion. He smiled helplessly, breathing on it a few times until it was warm again. “Our sister tells us the death penalty has been removed from Equestrian law, along with many other things that were around in our time.” She watched him lather and swirl his hooves, gently and expertly, around one of her ankles. Lathering the lotion into her, it felt cool and tingled like mint. The warmth of over-use slowly passed, and she really did feel a bit better. “It was not unusual for us to simply devour somepony that overstepped his bounds. Why, there was even a night deemed appropriate where I would gorge myself on evildoers from a nearby town.” She serenaded him with the horrific tale. “Of course, some households had no criminal or bad sort to give us, so they would leave little bowls of sweets on their front doorsteps.” She smiled fondly at the memory, shaking her head. “Offering sweets? That sounds a lot… like…” Nurse Bandaid stared up at her, then trailed off, getting back to work and trying not to draw attention to himself too much. “Mhm, those on death row, murderers, rapists, traitors to the crown— all of them.” She patted her belly a couple of times. “We were proud to cull the herd for them. Seems now it is frowned upon, though.” She scratched her chin. “We shalt need to keep my meat-eating confined to meals, perhaps, and our punishments less severe. If Equestria has evolved into a virginal utopia, perhaps some of our ways are a bit…” she trailed off again. “Outdated?” said Bandaid gently, laying her ankle down and switching to her knee. Nightmare frowned at him severely, but did not disagree. “About Prince Blueblood, however: The solar herd was always known for its virtuous stallions and virginal mares.” The Princess articulated. “Seeing him with lewd literature and his eyes set upon my sister’s protégé— it does not bode well.” She looked down at bandaid. “How does a mare repel an unwanted suitor in this era, Bandaid?” she asked in all seriousness. “Uhrrrmmm… I wouldn’t know, really.” He said, his cheeks pink. “I’ve never asked a mare out.” He wilted a little when she cocked an eyebrow at him. He focused on his work so he wouldn’t have to meet her draconic gaze. “Thou fibs!” she declared. He paused to flick his eyes up at her meaningfully. “Thou tells the truth?!” she said, shocked. “But thou art a fine specimen! What could a mare possibly want, if not a healthy and well-employed stallion?” she eyed him up and down as though there were some flaw that she’d not seen yet. Bandaid shifted a little uncomfortably. He was glad she was talking to him again, but not about that kind of stuff. He’d shoved himself into his medical books most of his life, with little time for marefriends. There were tests in the nursing profession, after all, that you could only take ONE time. If you failed, that was it. No pressure, right? “Er… I…” Bandaid’s ears perked when there was a knock at the door. “That sounds important!” he dropped the lotion bottle and rushed to the door with all speed. Clearing his throat a little, he opened it. “Yes?” he said, trying to look like the dignified hoof servant of the dark Princess that he was. “Is Princess Nightmare Moon at home?” It was a pair of stallions, both exactly the same in the face and chest. Both brown with blonde manes, both pegasi, and both with the same twinkling blue eyes. “How did you get past all the guards?” Bandaid blanched at them both. One held up a scroll, which he unfurled to read. “To Nurse Bandaid, allow these stallions in to see my sister. They are soldiers of the royal guard and would like to—” he trailed off, looking surprised as he mouthed the rest of the letter. “Signed Princess Celestia!” The medical pony stood aside. “Oh, okay!” he coughed a little. “Princess! Someponies here to see you, with permission from Princess Celestia!” “Huhm?” Nightmare Moon sat up quickly, trying to look regal. “Come!” she called. The two ponies came in, peering around with interest. She studied them with a quick and discerning eye. “Our sister sent thee to us?” she asked with a mild frown, eyeing their sameness. Both stallions nodded. “Yes, your majesty.” They said in unison. Nightmare looked back and forth between the two with some concern. She wasn’t sure she believed them. And they were twins. Huh. Didn’t see that very often, even back in her original era. Bandaid came and stood next to Nightmare’s sitting place, by the couch. He wasn’t sure what to make of them. They were royal guards? Why weren’t they in uniform? One stallion had a brick wall on his flank, and the other had a circular shield on his. What were their special talents? “Princess Nightmare Moon.” One of the two stepped forward. “My brother and I were selected for your approval to be your private guards, much like Captains Grey Slate and Lion Heart are for Princess Celestia.” He bowed and spread his wings upon the floor (a gesture of submission to the crown so old even Nightmare Moon recognized it). Nightmare eyed them, unsure. “What are thy names?” “My name is Aegis Shield.” said the one with the round shield on his flank. “My name is Stalwart Hide.” said the one with the brick wall on his flank. A great and terrifying fang-smile worked its way across Nightmare Moon’s face. Both stallions blinked at her, ears perked and curious. The black alicorn looked over at her nurse, her expression turning lewd and filled with mischief. “Don’t you say it!” scowled Bandaid. He knew his Princess well enough already to know where her train of thought had gone. “Our sister is so kind to us!” belted Nightmare Moon with uproarious laughter. “She has sent me TWINS for my enjoyment!” She threw her long arms around them both, tugging them up onto the sofa. Stalwart Hide burst into laughter before he could stop himself, not sure if he was terrified or truly laughing at the perverted joke. Aegis Shield chuckled nervously, wincing in pain at the powerful one-armed hug. It was because of their laughter that she decided to keep them. End of Part 8