//------------------------------// // Bandaid // Story: The Return of Princess Nightmare Moon // by Aegis Shield //------------------------------// The Return of Princess Nightmare Moon Part 13: Bandaid “Princess what was that?!” “Ask not of our motivations, servant Bandaid. Even Princes should be laid low when they surround themselves with such filthy literature.” “Princess! “What did we say about straining like that?!” “Thou art as fussy as a midwife, servant.” “The moment we are free of such restrictions, thou shalt be fetching me all the drink and sex thou can gather. Understood?” “Princess! Don’t be a hypocrite!” “My flank! You bit me!” “Eat less sweets, Nurse Bandaid, thy blood is fraught with sugar.” “Is closely examining defenseless, sickly mares what excites thee?” “I-I-I! Th-that’s not--!” “It’s not like a chef to just leave something in the oven and go somewhere else. I was hoping we could find a cook to make a snack for you.” “His loss for negligence of his confection!” “Lust after my sister’s protégé wilt thou?! “The solar herd would be ashamed! Face oblivion!” “Princess please!” “Princess be careful!” “Princess don’t strain so hard!” “Princess!” “Princess!” “Princess!” She never listened to him, never. Nurse Bandaid’s mood was a FOUL one on the ride back from the Nightmare Night celebration. He found himself hating her. It had built up, and built up, and built up more over time. He thought he might grow used to the strange, other-worldly creature that had descended from on high less than three months ago. He’d been put in charge of her care, but it hardly seemed worth it. It she decided she wanted something, she just went after it anyway. Stallions, food, attention, trying to raise the moon… she didn’t give a damn about what he had to say. Then, at the Nightmare Night festival, she’d accused him of being jealous of another stallion at her side. That egotistical wretch. The hot, boiling anger began to froth over in the stallion. He hid himself in his humiliation, over by the royal chariot in a dark alleyway. The twins were there, dutifully guarding it, but one potent glare was all it had taken to shut them up and avoid their questions. Bandaid had had all night to let it stew in his belly as he went over every conversation he’d ever had with her. Don’t eat that stallion, Princess! She had. Don’t hurt yourself trying to raise the moon, Princess! She had. Don’t eat so much or you’ll be ill, Princess! She had. Don’t be such a hypocrite, Princess! She was. The poor nurse could only take so much, and now he’d really and finally reached his breaking point. He glanced over at Twilight Sparkle and Nightmare Moon in the chariot with him, a certain hotness in his ears. Nightmare had her head buried in a giant bag of sweets that had been given to her by the Pumpkin King, Big Macintosh, in Ponyville. Bah, the black alicorn even had a holiday all in her own honor, the egotistical thing. Bandaid scowled as she rooted around, chattering animatedly about this and that. When her great head emerged, she spoke to Twilight, “And I promised her a set of tickets for the Grand Galloping Gala next month! Fluttershy’s adorable smile shalt grace the ball like a star on the waters of an ocean!” she smiled dreamily for a few moments. “’Fluttershy’, huh?” Twilight said neutrally, watching the Princess to make sure she didn’t fall out of the chariot in her revelry. The alicorn was, for lack of a better word, drunk on herself. She’d just come from a festival where everypony celebrated her, gave her sweets and food—she was a bit full of herself at the moment. “Perhaps we will set her up to dance with my hoofservant, Bandaid!” The Princess chuckled scandalously behind her hoof. “He hath a few issues with the fairer sex, Twilight Sparkle, a good shove into a mare's arms would do him good.” She playfully talked about him like he wasn’t there. “No thanks.” Grumbled Bandaid, leaning on the railing and carefully watching the twins pull the chariot along. Stalwart Hide glanced back at the group now and then to make sure everypony was still there, holding quiet conversation with his twin brother. Both guards were weary of their nurse-friend. Why hadn’t the Princess noticed yet? “D’ohhh, Bandaid, thou and Fluttershy would make an adorable couple!” Nightmare crooned, sidling up next to him with her big bag of candy. She stuffed a few in her mouth, chewing animatedly. The colors made him furious for some reason. “There is no shame in having a middle-mare to help you find happiness! It happened all the time in our era!” she gestured jubilantly at herself. “In the dark ages.” Scowled Bandaid, staring at the moon. Twilight Sparkle cocked her head. She could suddenly sense the poison in his voice—but said nothing. Maybe he had the post-festival blues? The purple mare wasn’t one to prod. “Pfffft-hahaha!” The Princess threw her head back in a laugh. “Perhaps! Perhaps so!” she clapped his back way too hard for his liking, and his eyes lidded into a deeper and deeper scowl. “Please don’t eat so much candy, Princess, you’ll be sick.” Bandaid said offhandedly, glancing at her. He didn’t know why he bothered, for she shortly thereafter sampled a new toffee for herself. “Oh come, Bandaid, a few sweets never hurt anypo-!” SWAT! The bag of candy went flying over the edge of the chariot and to the ground below. The lip of Canterlot was suddenly showered with Nightmare Night candy, and the foals in the streets out candy-hunting shrieked with happiness. “My confections!” The Princess leaned over the lip of the chariot as they scattered over the cobblestones perhaps a hundred feet below. “Hoofservant! what is the meaning of thi--” “Land. Now.” Bandaid grabbed the reins and roughly snapped them. Twilight Sparkle flinched as both pegasi got little pink lines on their sides. The twins shouted in painful unison and the chariot jolted towards the ground. “We demand thee explain thy-” “Shut up!” Bandaid suddenly turned and shouted savagely. “You just shut up!” Nightmare Moon gaped at him. The nerve! Twilight Sparkle sidled to one side a little, sensing the sudden, oncoming explosion of anger. “HOW DARETH THOU SPEAKEST TO ME IN THA-- *cough-cough-cough*?!” The Royal Canterlot Voice was still not quite a stable thing, for she leaned on the rails to hold her sides. Her blasted recovery time was still not over. “You never listen, do you?!” Bandaid gave her a rather rude shove as soon as the chariot struck the ground and started rolling. The twins held up as soon as they could and brought the vehicle to a rather halting stop. “You don’t listen to me! You don’t care!” the stallion shoved past them all and hopped to the ground with a clatter of hooves. “Nurse Bandaid?” Twilight asked, concerned. “I was put in charge of you to see to your well-being and all you do is whatever the hell you want!” The stallion shouted as the black alicorn angrily righted herself and loomed over him with open (tattered, still) wings. “Thou must’ve lost thy little mind!” she accused angrily, lifting a hoof as though to grab the angry stallion. He jittered away from her like her touch was the plague. “And here I was trying to arrange a companion for thee since--!” “SINCE ITS ALL YOU BUCKING THINK ABOUT!” he turned and threw his medical bag at her with all his might. It struck Nightmare’s chest and burst open, sending juice boxes and lotions and salves in all directions. Little progress reports and scrolls tattered themselves, along with his quills and personal effects. He clenched his teeth at her so hard his cheeks were shaking. “Sex and food and you, you, YOU!” He was not a pony who was used to shouting, and his voice broke like he was in puberty. The stallion was drawing more than a couple of turned heads. Foals in costume were backing away fearfully, their parents hedging away from the madpony. “Bandaid! T-take it easy!” Twilight was off the chariot and trying to play the diplomat already. But, she could see by his trembling, angry frame that he was not in any mindset to be reined in now. “The Princess was just-!” “The PRINCESS is a cannibal! A hypocrite! A murderer!” he exploded, pulling off his little medical vest and throwing it on the ground. “And an unrepentant SLUT!” he spat the insults at her rapid-fire, unable to stop once the floodgates had opened. The twins had had enough of that, turning and unhitching themselves angrily. They started for Bandaid, but he was already running away even as Nightmare watched open-mouthed. “You’re a terrible Princess!” he shouted over his shoulder as he fled. “No wonder Equestria has known peace for a thousand years! It doesn’t need you-u-u-u-----!” His voice had faded with distance, and soon Aegis Shield and Stalwart Hide lost him in the fog of an alleyway. Nightmare stood there, stunned, as her two guards returned to her empty-hooved. She couldn’t move. She was seeing the past with wide eyes. “Thou art a terrible Princess!” said a sepia-toned little foal in her memories. “Equestria doesn’t need you!” said an equally sepia’d stallion in olden-time garb. “Harlot! Whore!” a mare with freckles all over her face said, a bonnet hiding her mane. The past of precisely one thousand years and six weeks ago was very, very ugly. “Princess!” Twilight snapped her out of it, herding her gently back onto the chariot. “Back to the palace, boys, double-time.” The purple mare bade the two guards. The twins didn’t question Twilight, and they quickly rolled down the street towards their sanctuary. They made it all the way to the lip of the palace grounds before they took to the skies again, rolling up to the balcony of the Obsidian Hall. Twilight quickly and carefully helped the Princess dismount the chariot, taking her to her room after dismissing the twins. Then, she went to get Princess Celestia as quickly as she could. =-----=-----=-----=-----= “Nightmare?” Celestia poked her head into her sister’s bedroom. Checking back and forth, she heard pathetic whimpering sounds coming from the close-curtained bed. “Sister, I’d been told you returned from the festival. Are you alright?” “F-feign not ignorance sister, it doth not befit thee.” sniffled Nightmare miserably. “My hoof servant Bandaid hath declared his hatred for me.” Celestia pushed the curtain to one side as she spoke, then leaned and clambered into the bed with her. The black alicorn was a quivering, moist-eyed thing. “Oh Nightie.” Celestia crooned softly. “He doesn’t hate you.” “He does!” Nightmare said stubbornly. “He calleth me a harlot! And a cannibal! And a hypocrite!” she looked up at her sister with tear-streaked cheeks. “He vanished into the night cursing my name!” The white alicorn tried very hard not to wince, since pretty much all of those things were technically true. “Tell me everything.” Celestia said quietly. In her mind-- her ancient and calculating mind-- the white alicorn moved a chess piece and struck a pawn from the proverbial board. The poor stallion ‘Bandaid’ had served his purpose, wounded though he was. She would pull strings to make sure he found nursing work with excellent pay elsewhere. Nightmare would not have believed this revelation if she had not found it through pain. Foals did not respect fire until they were burned by it, and Celestia's words were not different when it came to her sister's return. She had planned for this, and sacrificed poor (pawn) Bandaid to break under her sister's powerful personality. A doe-eyed Nightmare told her sister everything that had happened that night. She spoke of how wonderful the festival had been. Then, how true to tradition Ponyville had kept everything. She told all about how handsome the Pumpkin King ‘Big Mac’ was. How the festival had showered her with love and praise and happiness, that foals were blessed and couples endowed—and then on the ride home her hoof-servant had exploded in a rage. It had been nearly an hour when Celestia had been caught up on everything. When at last the black alicorn fell silent, she looked to her wise sister for guidance. “W-well?” she asked after a long silence. Celestia leaned and nuzzled her sister quietly, extending a wing for her. Nightmare sidled over and hid under it quietly, whimpering miserably. “Well… if all those things are true, doesn’t he have the right to be angry?” she said very gently. Nightmare looked up at her in horror. “Equestria has only had me for the past thousand years, Nightie. They don’t know your ways anymore, and you seem alien to them.” “I merely act according to my nature!” Nightmare defended, on the verge of more tears. “But I did not expect Bandaid to abandon us!” “He was your nurse, yes?” Celestia said quietly, stroking her sister’s back over and over. Nightmare nodded, shifting while her sister removed her silvery helm and set it to one side. “Maybe he was frustrated with you because of your health?” The black alicorn cocked her head. Dear Bandaid was always dancing about her hooves, trying to keep her from straining, hurting herself, or otherwise. Always worried, always squawking, always there watching her to make sure nothing bad happened. “Did you listen to him for all of your medical woes?” “N… no.” Nightmare wilted her ears and hunched a bit with a guilty face. “We ignored him at our convenience.” She said in a small voice. “He is merely our servant, after… all…?” She glanced at her sister and saw a rare Celestia-frown, which made her wince and trail off. “Bandaid is a highly educated stallion who spent years in medical school, making perfect grades, so that he could work in the palace’s medical staff.” Celestia said in a low tone. “Nightie, you should not have treated him like a lowly squire or stablecolt. He is a trained professional, and there are few that can match his skills in physical therapy.” Nightmare Moon face-planted, throwing herself into the bedspread. “And I made fun of him for stroking mine legs with lotions.” She moaned into it miserably. Celestia cocked her head for a moment, but decided not to comment on that particular bit of information. “Why did I not listen to him?” she whispered, turning her head. “I think maybe you got a little too caught up in your return to Equestria.” Celestia said softly, stroking her sister’s mane. “Indulging is fine, sister, but stepping on everypony around you is not. You’re still a Princess, after all. You need to act like a modern Princess.” “A modern Princess with no harem, no festivals, no fun?” Nightmare Moon frowned at her sister. “Forgive me if I doth not jump for joy at the thought of imprinting myself upon thee, Tia. We art as different as… well, you know.” She nodded towards Luna, who hung listening to the goddesses from her place in the sky. “I didn’t say that,” said Celestia gently. “I’m merely saying that perhaps now may be a good time to study modern ways and… curb yourself a bit?” The angelic solar pony whispered. Nightmare looked at her sister, unsure. “After all, if one stallion spending time with you sent him running away screaming—perhaps it’s a good idea to make some adjustments before you return to helping me run the country?” The black alicorn nodded slowly and thoughtfully, her eyes going back and forth. “But, if I am to learn the ways of modern Equestria, it would take a powerful mind to teach me about everything.” Nightmare whispered. “And thou has no time for such tutoring, thou art running our nation already.” She turned over a bit, looking up into her sister’s pinions with a frown of thought. “If only there were such a smart pony, a scholar perhaps…” she trailed off in thought, a rather adorable wrinkle of her brow making the gears in her head turn. Celestia smiled on the inside, pushing forward the proverbial pawn on the chessboard. A pawn that had been there since her sister’s return, and even before that. A piece of Celestia’s grand game that had been polished, loved and nurtured for a lifetime just for this moment. Wait for it… wait for iiiiit… Nightmare’s face suddenly lit up and she sat upright with a jolt. “Twilight Sparkle!” she exploded, turning towards her sister with a brilliant smile of fangs. “Thy protégé is a brilliant scholar and politician! She even read to me whilst I laid in the hospital bed!” Celestia made a surprised face, her ivory wings lifting. “Oh? That’s right!” she said, smiling genuinely now. “You could ask Twilight for her help, I’m sure she’d be happy to help you adjust and be a better ruler. That’s a wonderful idea, Nightie!” the two sisters affectionately kissed each other beautifully on the lips. Hugging and giggling at each other, the two alicorns smiled like twins. The purple mare was the perfect plan! =-----=-----=-----=-----= Later That Night, Almost Dawn… =-----=-----=-----=-----= Nurse Bandaid was more than regretting his little temper tantrum by then. He was alone in the park of Canterlot, his chin sitting on the lip of a fountain. He sighed in depression as it burbled animatedly in front of him. The little garden lights did little but to highlight the gloom of the night. He refused to look up at the moon, it would only remind him of her. After his fiery explosion had ended and he’d gotten away from the twins, he’d aimlessly wandered Canterlot until he’d ended up where he was now. “She just doesn’t listen… doesn’t listen at all…” he mumbled, closing his eyes in exhaustion. He lay there and just tried to breathe, the gentle sound of running water soothing his angry mind. He’d just called the Princess every insult he could think of and then run off. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was arrested and thrown in a dungeon soon… or eaten, for that matter. She didn’t seem to mind eating ponies. Hours passed, and he became accustomed to the near-dark. The stallion perked his ears a little when he spotted a trio of ponies at the children’s playground across the way. How long had he been there, he wasn’t sure, he hadn’t been paying attention. It was two stallions and a mare. He stared at them blankly. The mare and one of the stallions were dancing together, as though they were at a ball. The third was standing back, watching, occasionally cutting in to correct one of the two partners. Dance lessons? At this hour? Bizarre. “N…. nurse Bandaid?” a familiar voice made him jolt, and the stallion tumbled over himself when he tried to stand. “Ohh.” The mare commented. He rose quickly, scowling angrily. “Art thou okay?” “What do you care? I have no candy to give you and I’m not sleeping with you.” Bandaid grumped at her, scowling. She flinched like he’d slapped her. “How did you find me?” He finally asked. Nightmare rather meekly sat on her haunches, a safe distance away as not to intrude on his personal space. “We know thy scent, our nose is like a dog’s.” she said in a small voice. “Thy sweat and misery was not hard to track…” she trailed off, looking to one side in an awkward way. “Here to lock me up? Or maybe eat me?” he said boldly, though he hoped it was neither. “I doth come to… say sorry.” She rubbed one of her forelegs with a hoof, looking sheepish. “I have been ignoring thy medical advice… and taking advantage of thy offers of friendship.” The black alicorn shifted a bit to get into her saddlebags. “I don’t want a wishing star, if that’s what you’re getting out, there.” Bandaid said. “I saw what you were planning with the last guy you gave one of those to.” He saw her pause, then wilt some. Her hooves came to rest at the pavement, and she stared at it instead of him. “Thou hates me… I understand.” She said to the ground. “With my return I have indulged in every little thing I could hope to want for, and thought nothing of thee.” She admitted softly. “My sister hath already scolded me about my ways, and I am going into a sort of… modernizing therapy.” Nightmare tried to explain as best she could. “I would only hope, though, that thou might join m-” “No.” Bandaid said firmly. “I’ve been trying and trying to make you listen to me. You’ve grown strong again. I did my best. You don’t need a nurse anymore.” He was still angry, still feeling savage at her. Nightmare sighed, defeated. Turning, she undid her saddlebag as she was about to do earlier. “I said I don’t want-!” he stopped, though, for she’d produced his weather-beaten medical bag. He’d thrown it into her face hours ago, sending the supplies everywhere. It was bulging, though, with all of his things. Had she gone back and collected it all? “Oh. Thank you.” He mumbled as she magicked it over to him. She didn’t dare come close. “I cannot raise the moon, still?” Nightmare said in a small, hopeful voice. The stallion strapped his medical bag on, sighing loudly. “I’ll… talk to the medical staff at the palace. I’ll see about sending you a unicorn to help with your magical weakness.” With that he turned and was away from her. Nightmare quietly hung her head. She really had abused him too much, with her constant innuendo and ignoring of his pleas. He had only been trying to help her. She felt monstrous. She only hoped that Twilight Sparkle could aid her half as well as Bandaid had. She could only pray to be so lucky. Luna tsk-tsked at her from the sky. In the highest room of the tallest tower of the palace, Celestia watched the scenes through her ornate telescope. Both Blueblood's dance lessons (where she could see them, thank you Tombs), and the one with her sister and her nurse. Now the pieces of the game were really moving. The Grand Galloping Gala was in a month, she would need to be ready. They all would. She flipped open Project: T.O.M.B.S. and began to quickly write within its most recent pages. Word for word to the Prince's utterings, of course: "I wish for the perfect set of..." End of Part 13