Barney Stinson wakes up in Equestria. How? Who cares, that's not important. What is important is that he has a challenge to accomplish.

I have no idea why i wrote this. The idea came to me suddenly and i wrote it at 3 AM.

I hope you enjoy because this story is legen-

This story is a sequel to The Five Second War

The five-second war is over, as have four weeks of careful deliberation and discussion. All that is left is for Equestria's elected officials to weigh in on their changeling problem. That shouldn't be hard, right?

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"Between the time when the oceans drank Marelantis and the rise of the Elements of Harmony there was an age undreamed of.  And unto this Celestia!  Destined to bear the jewelled crown of Equestria upon a troubled brow.  It is I, her chronicler, who alone can tell thee of her saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!"

Celestia is many things to her little ponies: princess, leader, and teacher, to name a few.  Yet her past is unknown to her subjects, lost to the depths of time.  After she passes her crown to her student she descends into a place unvisited for over a thousand years, and there remembers a time before the Magic of Friendship, before Equestria, and before the Elements of Harmony -- the Hyponian Age.

It was an era of cruelty, violence, and hope.  Into this harsh world, Celestia the Cimmareian ventured out alone in search of gold, glory, and adventure.  The Tower of the Fallen Star and the horrors within await.

Cover art by EZTP, commissioned by Yours Truly.

Pre-read by SockPuppet, Steel Quill, and Sledge115. Thank you to all in the site's Discord who helped bring this idea to life.

We have many tales of Celestia the Princess, Celestia the Ruler, Celestia the Lover. This is a Celestia who can keep the pages turning all day long.

-Steel Quill

It was fairly simple as far as assignments for the Lord Ambassador of Equestria went. Just a border dispute over a patch of land nocreature really wanted. But then came the summons back to Canterlot, so urgent that it only had four words:

Spike,
Twilight needs you

Contains outdated G5 speculation based on the information available at the time.

Twilight is on the cusp of leading Equestria for a year. It's been an easy year with no major difficulties. No wars. No natural disasters. No villains.

At least until a villain from the far, far future appears in Twilight's throne room. She's escaping defeat at Twilight's hooves, with one thought in mind: she won't be stopped if Twilight doesn't exist in the future. And here's Twilight's past self, right in front of her. Easy.

Unfortunately, she's not the only villain with this idea.

She's only been here for a few minutes, and yet she knows more about how things should work than anypony alive. Meet the expert on all things Equestrian, except how to pronounce or spell it (and if you're pointing that out to her, then you're just being racist). She knows how to fix everything, and all that's required to do so is to let her speak with the manager!

...the Princesses?
Are you sure there isn't a higher authority available?

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages. Due to minimal story length, this was a Patreon freebie.)

Rated C for Crackfic.
This story has no purpose in existing beyond my wanting to kill a Karen.

Celestia, the Lightbringer.
Luna, Mistress of the Night.
Twilight Sparkle, Master of Magic.
Cadance, Princess of Love.

Of the Four Princesses, Cadance is the one that ponies think they understand the most. After all, what could be so hard about being Princess of Love?

A lot of things, actually.

The first story in the Four Princesses, Four Demons series. Sequels are Celestia the Indomitable, Twilight the Triumphant, and Luna the Faithful.

Featured from 1-26-21 to 1-29-21, all thanks to the kind folks of this site, who even pushed it to the #2 spot.

Being a pony from a human world is hard. Being a Queen's officer is harder.

No need to be familiar with the crossover source material ahead of time.

Thanks to Sledge115 and Raleigh for pre-reads, and various Discord denizens for idea bouncing.

Sequel: Fusion.

Fluttershy wasn't expecting to find a snow globe in her closet; even if Angel Bunny pointed it out to her, it most certainly didn't come from him. The most obvious candidate is Discord, but if so - why is it there? Who is it for?

And why does the snow globe have a figure of her inside it, dancing amidst the perpetually falling snow?

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A very belated Hearth's Warming gift for the ever lovely Nailah. This story was written for Jinglemas 2020; For more information about Jinglemas, check out our group!

All of my thanks to Flashgen for his help.

Philadelphia, June 1979

Princess Celestia feels trapped underneath her own crown - her subjects see an immortal goddess, not a pony trapped in a gilded cage.

In a moment of boredom, she strikes out on her own in search of adventure - and New York pizza.

Come along with the pony Princess as she rides the rails of the Northeast Corridor - rolling ever closer to her final cheesy destination on board a Night Train to New York.

Warning - this work has been rated PG by the Literature Association of Equestria for the following:

• Mild Profanity
• Excessive Railway Knowledge

Featured December 16-20 2020!