• Member Since 28th Dec, 2020
  • offline last seen 37 minutes ago

Graymane Shadow


There's canon, and then there's "canon because it's a show for children with an E/I rating". The former is my playground, the latter I ignore at will.

T
Source

Cadance, Princess of Love.
Celestia, the Lightbringer.
Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship.
Luna, Mistress of the Night.

Of the Four Princesses, Luna is the one that the Four Demons know the least about. Sure, there was that business about being Nightmare Moon and being banished for a thousand years, but how threatening can the Princess of the Night - a princess that plays second fiddle to her elder sister - really be?

Luna isn't insulted. She prefers her enemies stupid anyway.


The fourth and final story in the Four Princesses, Four Demons series, following up Cadance the Unbroken, Celestia the Indomitable, and Twilight the Triumphant.

Reading the other stories is encouraged, but not required.


Featured from 02-17-21 to 02-21-21, peaking at #1. Thanks again, everypony!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 32 )

I really like how you did Luna in this one. This whole set of stories have been interesting. Keep up the good work.

If you've been along for the ride since the beginning, hopefully it proved to be worth it!

That was definitely worth it. Now all we have to do is get this in the Featured box on the front page. Then all four of these stories would have been featured. Not a lot of ponies have done that before.

Nicely done. Way to buck the trend!

I've really enjoyed this concept of viewing the princesses in a different light than they're cast in the show and very often in the fandom. The characterization was top notch and I can't wait to see what you do next!

Okay, Luna's story was the best of the four I think. Very much enjoyed this.

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Didn't take long for you to get your wish, huh? This story has earned a rightful place in the featured box! Been loving this series from beginning to end.

10683764
Brilliant. I think Graymane is going to go down in Fimfiction history, and rightfully so. These four stories are some of the best I have ever read. Graymane, hats off to you. Here's me wishing I was half the writer you are.
tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.-eAaiPAbeGkddNHPaEv8_QHaEK&pid=Api
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/e/e4/Applejack_waving_her_hat_S3E2.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/640?cb=20121118131317

A good one. I have a feeling the daemon could try to pact with Luna a little longer. It was Celesta that found Luna untrustworthy, Shantar might easily say that the trust would be build on their need of one another and knowledge of her anguish. Still I liked this story at least as much as Celestia's and Cadance's. I don't particularly like deux ex machina that was used in Twilight's fight but on the other hand that's exactly mlp, so who am I to judge :rainbowwild:

Well, I am immensely satisfied with Luna's story. Glad to see all four stories in the Featured Box, I think this is easily one of the best post-show Fanfictions I've read. Looking forward to more content from you :twilightsmile:

Quite liked this one. A neat take on classic Luna angst.

If all the princesses took flight (but Candy) to go help the others where the fuck were they? Did they all just succeed at the same time? Or pass each other going from one to the other?
Anyway I still loved the little series you made here. Was really interesting and princesses actually doing badass thing is always great.

~Reggie

I expected Luna to have the least trouble with her demon, having had to face her own demons a millennia ago. Very well done!

Dangit, now we need a Flurry Heart story. It would probably be more lighthearted, what with her being a baby. Maybe it's about her beating an imp unintentionally, or maybe it's incompetent, or maybe it's about Flurry watching Shining Armor beat one. She'd probably be showing remarkable wisdom or intelligence for her age. This is all speculation, though. I don't actually know what kind of story that would entail.

I like how Luna kind of low-key implyed who ever fights Twilight is screwed, that she crushed her opponent's heart confirms that. Also let's admit it, out of all the princess Luna enjoyed this, tricking a so called master manipulator with out breaking a sweat? She was pretty much the only one who didn't need to weaponize her flaws. Shantar got off pretty easy compared to the others, Luna just humiliated and kill him, the others suffered humiliation and pretty painful deaths.

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Shining Armor getting to ya know be effective would be nice. I suspect if a demon went after Flurry it would be one of Terror,who would be utterly confused she barely reacted to him. Then Shining just tells he's a Bad Guy and she vaporizes him in a single shot before going back to her toys.

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I'll spoiler the response just for good measure.

Cadance definitely faces her demon last, which is why she can hear the others approaching. Luna leaves here and encounters Twilight and Celestia along the way, and they all hightail it back to Cadance.

It's not perfect, but this goes back to the whole thing of CTU not being planned as part of a series, really.


To everypony else that's commented so far: Thanks!

Princess Big Mac spinoff?

Great story for great series. Nice to see you get applause for your work.
I encourage everyone to read all the parts (I personally think Cadance story is the best in the series and for sure everyone will find something for themselves).

I have some thoughts about ending (probably because I just want more good stuff :D )
I think this story is great place to write how the princesses prepared to fight. Not only that could be the intro for every story, but we could have the real Luna's battle, where she struggle with her emotions and thoughts. She is faithful, but how much? Then Celestia words means much more. But to be honest I don't really know if it fits with idea of this story.

I like how Shantar did not use pure force to destroy Luna, rather, he tried to appeal to her emotions. He didn't seem all that evil, to be fully honest.

The demon was clever enough to try to use Luna's past against her but he underestimated her strength by a rather large margin.

Nice.

Love how you played her past and insecurities.

Fantastic series, start to finish.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Bravo, you nailed this one. Luna have never looked more in control.

clealry they didnt research well enough or they would have learned luna's other nickname

Luna the warrior poet
the moon has long been the icon of both artists and warriors alike and these aspects luna embodies whole heartedly
as somebody just found out the hard way.

ANW
ANW #24 · 6 days ago · · ·

The only way these could be even better, would be a mini epilogue.

Not much, just a quick 1000 word story dealing with all four princesses telling their stories, and a quick look at the afterlife of the 4 demons, arguing over who mess up the worst.

Excellent work for a relatively new writer to FiMFiction. Well done!

Very nice. I'll admit, I was kinda hoping to see some badassery from Luna in terms of battle, but she's always been good at mental sparring as well, and I think the other princesses more than made up for the lack of physical battle here.
I really like the flashbacks— you created a lot of background about the Discordian war that we never got to see, and I frequently find myself loving what authors fill in the blanks with. You were no exception.
This was a great series! They were all great reads, and congratulations on getting into the Featured box! :yay:

Although certain parts do feel rushed, this was a good continuation of greater narrative theming, (i.e, that all the princesses are incomparable to one another in their abilities, and that being oneself and accepting one's own flaws can lead to a greater victory than trying to patch them out of yourself) which has been your strongest suit, even if it came through a formulaic story format (princess encounters demon, princess fights demon in some way for a bit or gets into the heed of part 3, part 3 is princess is nearly convinced by the demon of something that counters the spefic acceptance that they have (usually weakness), and then princess owns the hell out of the demon). Overall, I really enjoyed all of these stories, but I found that you, dear author, seem to be capitalizing on the crowd (even if I'm a part of this), and that the stories themselves have become a bit repetitive.

I think that the best way to shake things up for Twilight Sparkle's encounter with a demon is to say what we already know about Twilight. She's incredibly strong, but actually in the end, it's essentially "revealed" via the encounter with the demon, who likely, if acting with the best possible methodology to defeat Twilight Sparkle, would likely use her strength, her value system, and her friendships against her, that she is-in a way- much weaker than the others, with this weakness being the only way she defeats the demon, who would be some demon that represents something relating to the aforementioned methods of breaking Twilight's resolve or ability to defeat the demon.

Prehaps, the manipulation is moreso physical than magical, with the demon either A: possessing a friend of Twilight's, or B: using physical capacities for physical sustenance against strong magical attacks (think: Wabafett's ability to reflect everything that is hit with back at the enemy), with Twilight invetibaly realizing that she is stronger with her friends, but that doesn't mean she can't pack a punch, even if it is incredibly panicky and manic, or something similar. Your idea will likely be better than what I can make at the moment, but spicing the formula up is needed for Twilight, since she is really the marker of the axis to which these other stories come from, so it is logical that the format should be reversed, essentially, possibly even Twilight being the one who collaborates with the demonic power after first defeating it nearly immediately.

Possibly, with a fitih, and final part showing the three, now much stronger of mind princesses defeating the deception that Twilight is under. I know you want to do other things, so I won't be disappointing if the Twinkle sprinkle or epic climax don't happen.

I know I mispelt a few things, but I'm just spitting out some ideas, and I have the patience to autocorrect some things, but not others.

Edit: Just realized that a twilight story actually exists, will be reading it now.
Edit 2: Better than my idea in some ways, and drives in thematic continuity between this series hard, but it feels a bit like an anthology, which I feel is intentional. I would have preferred my idea because of personal preference towards the hyper-epic rather than the "lower consequence" situations.

*claps and whistles*. Very well done.

Animak #29 · Sunday · · ·

hmm, very nice

10688821

Overall, I really enjoyed all of these stories, but I found that you, dear author, seem to be capitalizing on the crowd (even if I'm a part of this), and that the stories themselves have become a bit repetitive.

That's always an interesting concept. On the one hand, I wrote Cadance the Unbroken as a one shot, to give a little push-back against criticism of her character. As I've said, I had no plans for any sort of 'series' at that point. On the other hand, after the considerable positive reception to her story, and requests for the others to get a similar treatment, I decided I'd at least give Celestia a story, which likewise was fairly well received. She has her own issues with the fanbase, so while I had a few bumps in writing it, it wasn't too difficult.

Some people might say I could/should have stopped at that point, but again, several comments saying that I couldn't just leave it off with two, which I at least understood.

Twilight was always going to be the hardest one to write, and having written it, I have a new appreciation for what the show writers went through. It's easily the most divisive of the four, and barring some sort of last minute surge, the least popular from a pure thumbs up/thumbs down standpoint. Some thought that it 'fit' her character, despite feeling a bit deux ex machina, but then that's true to the show as well, isn't it? Others were saying that it would likely be the weakest of the four, even before Luna's tale was published.

Luna's tale was really about doing something different, both in this series and for her character. Yes, there was something of a pattern to the stories, but they each had subtle differences. In this case, Luna was never convinced by the demon at any point. She played along for appearances, and yes, some of the memories caused her to think, but she remained in complete control, which is why she was able to maintain the illusion 'bubble' over Shantar for the duration of the tale.

One thing I had to balance in these was my intent to build upon their characters (which again, was a struggle for Twilight because she's fleshed out compared to the others), while not disregarding the reader demand for 'moments of badassery' for them. I certainly wouldn't claim to have done this perfectly, and I expect in a few years I'll look back at these and see all sorts of things I could fit (hell, I can see that right now). But writing is a learning process for me, and despite having been at it for some time I still have a good long way to go.

In the end, the series was Four Princesses, Four Demons, and there was always going to be shared DNA in that sort of concept. And, ultimately, I seek to entertain, and if I'm lucky, at least leave something positive with people when they're done reading.

I think, despite their obvious flaws, I accomplished that with these stories, and that does please me. That said, I can recognize when it's time to walk away, which is why I've firmly resisted any sort of story in this line for Flurry or other characters that might need spiffing up, and why there won't be a fifth 'wrap up' story either.

Thanks for your comments, and thanks to anypony else who's commented since I last did.

spoonlol #31 · Sunday · · ·

I’m really happy with how the ending mellowed out in the end as I was getting a very “Celestia is evil and wrong and terrible” vibe at the beginning which I’ve seen in a lot of other stories. So I’m happy to see that Luna herself even says how rash she was back then, and it is rather sad that she still views herself as the weakest of the four.
I find it odd that their were ponies that sided with discord even after he was defeated, unless it’s the idea that their minds had been so warped they couldn’t help but follow him. Who would wanna live in a world like his.
Still a good read none the less... now when we gunna get Flurry heart’s story lol

10689303
Yea, Luna did Oma ma shinderu the heck out of the demon, but it still was repetitive to some level. I think that balancing this type of series -for the future- with other disconnected stories would allow them to develop more. I love your work, but, please, give me more of your creative splendor.

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