The Equine Comedy

by Pineta

Epilogue

Three millenia later, Princesses Celestia and Twilight Sparkle sat on a cloud above a green hill in the countryside south of Trottingham, surveying the image of a white horse cut into the turf covered chalk on the ground beneath them. Down below Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Fluttershy were working along the white lines, pulling up weeds, scraping back the turf and rechalking the surface.

“Thank you for inviting us to help renew the White Horse image this year,” said Twilight, “it's quite an honour.”

“You're very welcome Twilight,” replied Celestia. “It needs to be done every few years if the image is to remain clear. The local ponies asked for some help with the scouring this year, so I'm very pleased you were able to come along.”

“It's amazing to think that we are carrying out a task that ponies have been doing for thousands of years,” said Twilight. “How old is it exactly?”

“I don't know. It's older than me. Excavations nearby have uncovered the remains of one of the oldest settlements in Equestria.”

“I know this region has a very long historical heritage. There are many references to places here in the Commentarii de Bello Equestri.”

“Have you read it?”

“Yes. Well, most of it. I sort of skimmed through volumes ten to thirteen.”

“I never got more than halfway through book one.”

“It is a bit dry,” said Twilight, “but it's one of the most important contemporary sources to study the early history of Equestria.”

Celestia nodded. “While you are here, you must take time to visit the museum at Neigheux. They have the most amazing tapestry.”

“I've read about it.”

“And the tea shop serves a delicious toffee pudding.”

Twilight stared at the hillside figure with an inquisitive frown. “Is it supposed to be a pegasus, a unicorn or an earth pony?”

“Nopony knows for sure. It's always been called the White Horse, but some say it is actually a dog, or a dragon, or some other creature.”

“I wonder why they first made it, all those years ago. Was it marking the territory of some tribe? Or an ancient fertility symbol?”

“There are a great many stories about that. According to some scholars in Canterlot, it is an emblem of an ancient goddess,” replied Celestia. “Luna thinks that it shows a pattern in the stars, a constellation that is no longer visible. And there’s a numismatist who says it matches a pattern on some ancient coins. She thinks it’s the signature of the first treasurer of the Bank of Equestria.”

She bent her neck down to the level of the younger princess and spoke in a quiet voice. “Personally, I think they were just having a bit of fun.”

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading!
This is based on a silly story I dreamt up, one sunny day, while lying back on White Horse Hill watching clouds. I then forgot about it until I watched the French version of Hearth's Warming Eve and wondered if could write a historical pony story with the humour of the Asterix comic books (I love the way the pegasi are dressed as Roman legionaries). It evolved from there.
I hope the cryptic jokes and quirky references were not too distracting.

History of Pony Art:

Comments

[Bravais]

This type of comedy surely is different from the original.

[Geoduck]

I had been thinking the story seemed Asterixesque (especially the punch-up scenes in the first chapter.) Glad to read that you did indeed have that series in mind.

(These Pegasi are crazy! *tok* *tok* *tok*)

[Bravais]

"Comentarii de Bello Equestri"

“It is a bit dry.”

Just like Commentarii de Bello Civili is purposely written to be as dry as a drought,
because recounting a civil war as an engaging tale would never get you far if you're a political leader.

[Seether00]

Wonderful. Glad I consumed it all in one shot. Characters were picture perfect.

[Creideiki]

It's not often a story makes me laugh out loud, but this one succeeded.

Bravo, dear Sir/Madam/Horsey thing.

[Pineta]

Thanks for all your kind words

[Themaskedferret]

Very beautifully done. I've always wanted to visit the white horse and maybe have a chance to help with the scouring.

[djthomp]

That was wonderful.

[Pineta]

2525323
Is unicorn chess based on any real world version of chess?
My vision was a sort of cross of variant chess / strategy boardgame culture, and Mornington Crescent. If anyone wants to codify the rules, please go ahead

I suspect that Hurricane would ENJOY a good zombie attack.
Who doesn't enjoy a good zombie attack? Get some popcorn.

[nemryn]

2525609
Hah, I was thinking it sounded a lot like Mornington Crescent!

[Elric of Melnipony]

tinyurl.com/mbho6go

[FanOfMostEverything]

Fantastically done from beginning to end. I'm glad I finally got around to reading this.

Also, I definitely feel Smart Cookie's pain. I can not chess. I can not chess to save my life.

[The Mane-iac]

I love all the Latin phrases you manage to fit into the story. I adore the Latin language.

[Pineta]

4841650

I take it the actual translation is more along the lines of “We came, we saw, we made friends

That was my intention. I couldn't find a suitable expression in canonical Latin - for some reason Julius Caesar was not as efficient as Twilight Sparkle in compiling friendship reports - so I modelled it on the Italian facemmo amicizia.

[Iron Comet]

A good story, I like how you had the Tapestry and the White Horse last until the modern day like the real relics have over the ages. Just goes to show that what we have today is built upon the works of the past. People don't see that anymore I think.

[gardrek]

Well, this was a good read. Everything felt very in-place, historically, and I loved all the refrences My favourite reference could have been Spotted Dick; I had no idea that was a dessert! Alas, then along came the Burghers and their Pony Meet, usurping it.
 If you haven't read this, stop reading the comments full of spoilers and go read the story! It's great!