• Member Since 28th Oct, 2012
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Particle Physics and Pony Fiction Experimentalist


Three tales to append to the Hearth’s Warming Eve story telling of the further adventures of Commander Hurricane, Chancellor Puddinghead, and Princess Platinum; concerning politics, art, sport, and sticky puddings. The early days of Equestria involved some quarrelling and compromises as the three pony tribes learnt to work together and accept each others’ differences. But mostly, it was about having fun together.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 39 )

This type of comedy surely is different from the original.

This is great!

"Stone of Scone." Good one. And the oblique Hamlet reference.

Love this story!

I had been thinking the story seemed Asterixesque (especially the punch-up scenes in the first chapter.) Glad to read that you did indeed have that series in mind.

(These Pegasi are crazy! *tok* *tok* *tok*)

"Comentarii de Bello Equestri"

“It is a bit dry.”

Just like Commentarii de Bello Civili is purposely written to be as dry as a drought,
because recounting a civil war as an engaging tale would never get you far if you're a political leader.

Wonderful. Glad I consumed it all in one shot. Characters were picture perfect.

It's not often a story makes me laugh out loud, but this one succeeded. :rainbowlaugh:

Bravo, dear Sir/Madam/Horsey thing.

Romeo and Juliet references...song parodies...this chapter was awesome!

Thanks for all your kind words

Very beautifully done. I've always wanted to visit the white horse and maybe have a chance to help with the scouring.

Oh wow, this is simply hilarious. I believe was was grinning from the beginning of the chapter to the end.

“Just a temporary attack of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. She'll be fine,” said Puddinghead.

I nearly died.

I'm somewhat inclined to wonder if Chancellor Puddinghead knows how to use anything other than exclamation marks.

That was wonderful.

Is unicorn chess based on any real world version of chess?

If not, who is going to make it a reality?
Related to the above is "origin" in the rules for the magicians relative to their starting point for the turn, the starting point for the game, or (0,0) in cartisan coordinates? If the last, is the origin in the center of the board, or one corner (I recommend the center in such a case, because that means that the densest area of forbidden squares is in the most tactically valuable area of the board, preventing them from completely dominating).

This provided an almost impenetrable defence against enemy attack.
-It actually would be almost worthless against the most military variety of pony. The curtain walls would simply invite rocks or large hailstones being dropped on the heads of the defenders from sufficient altitude that arrows would have lost there energy before reaching the attacking pegasi. I admit that conical roofs would be better than flat ones for the towers.

'Enchantments for spiral galaxy formation and facial hair grooming'
-How... eclectic... then again, since the unicorns were in charge of day and night, presumably they could paint the skies, so making a spiral galaxy wouldn't be so impossibly high-energy. Equestrian meteors (or whatever it was that Twilight was writing a report on in All's Owl That Ends Well) may work about the same as Real Life, but the amount of energy necessary to move around Earths sun enough to create a helocentric system... well I have HEARD that it is more energy expenditure than would be necessary to make The Sun explode.

A game that we can all play together. Let me teach you how to play
-Oh Celestia! So that is why they love that game so much!

“Do you think it's zombies?” she said, hopping up and down hopefully.
-I suspect that Hurricane would ENJOY a good zombie attack. Come to that it occurs that I should probably call Hax on the idea that there was no more use for armed forces, given that it appears that the non-ponied state of Equestria is that "Everything Is Trying To Kill You"... or maybe the Everfree really is outright cursed or the monsters didn't come until later?

“Just a temporary attack of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. She'll be fine,” said Puddinghead.

At this direct attach,

“Oh dear,” replied Pansy, “I'll come over and see if I can help.”
-Well, if she share's Fluttershy's talents, I imagine she will ask nicely, and this will work out well... or maybe it will take a three-tribe solution, because I don't see how this is going to turn into a symbol in the sky.

“I'm not sure if caramelized honey makes good mead,”

I bet you can think inside a chimney!”
“Erm... I’d rather not,”
-Oh, but chimney's are very good places for hiding from other ponies... Well, as long as there isn't a fire going...

“Yeah,” replied Puddinghead, “that which we call a lavender unicorn, by any other mane would smell as sweet.”

Is unicorn chess based on any real world version of chess?
My vision was a sort of cross of variant chess / strategy boardgame culture, and Mornington Crescent. If anyone wants to codify the rules, please go ahead :pinkiehappy:

I suspect that Hurricane would ENJOY a good zombie attack.
Who doesn't enjoy a good zombie attack? Get some popcorn.

At this direct attach,


"The quid?" said Hurricane.

I see what you did there :rainbowlaugh:

"What have the Romans pegasi ever done for us?" :rainbowlaugh:

Hah, I was thinking it sounded a lot like Mornington Crescent!

You use "desert" in two places instead of "dessert" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dessert

Fantastically done from beginning to end. I'm glad I finally got around to reading this. :twilightsmile:

Also, I definitely feel Smart Cookie's pain. I can not chess. I can not chess to save my life. :applejackconfused:

I love all the Latin phrases you manage to fit into the story. I adore the Latin language. :raritystarry:

Bucking injecting EarthPonyMagic into trees which slices stems. I wonder what is different about the tree so that it does not conduct magic.

LavenderUnicornSyndrome ;-)

The bit that got me was the horse-meet burghers.

Venimus Vidimus Fecimus Amicitiam

Google Translate claims this means “We came We saw We Friendship”, which I find amusing. (I take it the actual translation is more along the lines of “We came, we saw, we made friends.”)


I take it the actual translation is more along the lines of “We came, we saw, we made friends

That was my intention. I couldn't find a suitable expression in canonical Latin - for some reason Julius Caesar was not as efficient as Twilight Sparkle in compiling friendship reports - so I modelled it on the Italian facemmo amicizia.

A good story, I like how you had the Tapestry and the White Horse last until the modern day like the real relics have over the ages. Just goes to show that what we have today is built upon the works of the past. People don't see that anymore I think.

then there are the unicorns, which can move an even number of squares along the rank and file, or an odd number along the diagonals; and the pegasi, which move an odd number along the rank and file, and an even number along the diagonals, and can fly over another piece in their path. In the centre we have the magicians, who can apparate to any square on the board provided the number of steps along the shortest path back to its origin is not a prime number. The crown can only move one square at a time and must be protected by other pieces. The objective of the game is to block your opponents crown so she can only move onto a square of the opposite colour.”

That doesn't seem very conducive to fun gameplay...

No Wicker Man reference? But there were bees and everything!

Chapter 1:

“You can't back out now. Allea jacta est. She just lifted them out of her cider.”

Just using Google, I'd say it should be "alea."

She dived behind a barrel, which was promptly hit by flying horseshoe.

Probably missing an "a," especially if the later comment about a missing shoe is meant to be a call-back to this.

“I disapprove of such ruffian behaviour, however,” she announced, “a princess will never abandon her subjects!”

This should be the end of the first sentence. E.g:

“I disapprove of such ruffian behaviour. However,” she announced, “a princess will never abandon her subjects!”

“Use the knocker, Palladium Alloy,” commanded the sovereign, “I haven't yet found a suitable bell to attach to the bell-rope.”

This should be a period.

I am definitely enjoying this so far, and will read the rest likely today or tomorrow

6826036 Just doing my part. :rainbowdetermined2:7 (We should really have a Rainbow Dash salute emoticon)

This chapter is thick with references. :pinkiehappy: I like it.

The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

I only found this one problem:

However following an unfortunately incident involving an overheating oven and blocked chimney

And this, which I'm not sure was on purpose:

“Yeah,” replied Puddinghead, “that which we call a lavender unicorn, by any other mane would smell as sweet.”

Yeah, that last line was intentional. Maybe throwing in a bit of malapropism on top of a double reference was a little OTT, but I reasoned that with Pinkie/Puddinghead I could get away with it.

Here's the two things I found in the third chapter:

“We missing that bit,” said Hurricane, “but I remember the thaw!”

Private Pansy looked up and down the line and saw most the legionaries were asleep again.

Well, this was a good read. Everything felt very in-place, historically, and I loved all the refrences My favourite reference could have been Spotted Dick; I had no idea that was a dessert! Alas, then along came the Burghers and their Pony Meet, usurping it.
 If you haven't read this, stop reading the comments full of spoilers and go read the story! It's great!

Finally the chancellor took each move very seriously, first building a small pile of mud on the ground, and placing the stick on top. She then positioned herself behind this, facing backwards in line with the target; bent her head down and stared between her four legs, doing a lot of hoof shuffling to get the right alignment. Once she was satisfied, she bucked the stick with considerable energy. This way she achieved five direct hits, and embedded one stick in the wattle and daub wall of the White Horse. She was the undisputed champion of Aunt Sally.

She might be silly, but she's effective.

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