• Member Since 14th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 15th, 2017


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Equestria stands at the dawn of a new golden age of harmony and enlightenment. Six normal ponies have taken up the tools of the gods and defeated the greatest evils of history. A bookish unicorn filly is set to usher in a magical revolution. The first new alicorn in a millennium provides the promise of a coming era of peace and love.

Change is rarely peaceful.

In the wake of the Royal Wedding, the nation struggles with a scattered army which feeds upon the very thing that stands to elevate ponykind. However, Equestria's citizens, her heroes and even her gods discover that it is the enemy within that one really needs to fear.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 187 )

Endless thanks to Iac for the great proofreading and error spotting, and Aburi for the advice and criticism after pre-reading.

Thanks for keeping me from going insane, you two.
Well, more insane. :derpyderp2:

Your First-Post Fu is strong.

Getting a comment in before the final check before the story is even submitted is a feat few could match.
I am in awe. :raritystarry:

Fixed though. Thanks. Google Docs' dictionary didn't mind the missing 'H' in that one, but FIMFiction's tagged it correctly. Thus it would have been nabbed on the final proof.

The read was glorious :3
I sincerely want moar.

I remembered reading a book with a very similar name.
It was horrible.:fluttercry:
I couldn't see straight English for days.

Beware the heart of darkness...

I like this!

Trixie is up next, in all her Great and Hammy glory. Just needs to be chewed on by a proofreader, or barring that a whole lot of less effective proofing by me.

Alas, there are few original titles left, unless you're wiling to get wacky.

Hopefully my fic won't cause any manner of blindness, and it's my understanding that darker stories don't actually make the surrounding area any less bright. But then, my clinical trials were rather lacking, so no promises.

But...The Crucible.
Oh my bucking god, that was a nightmare.

A very nice story. I hope you can keep up your update speed!

1725578 That play was a fucking nightmare to read :raritycry:
although it wasn't as bad as the Scarlet Letter! :raritydespair:
I have a theory that English teachers have no taste in literature because if they did they would go blind.


I've got a few chapters 'banked' and just awaiting final editing and polishing, to cover potential real-life disturbances.
Wanted to make sure I could keep a nice, steady release schedule. Not a big fan of stories I like going dormant for ages, and wanted to avoid that possibility as much as I could with my own.

:moustache: Most excellent story good sir!

I'm liking this a lot. Very high quality work going on here, in terms of prose and understanding of characterization. You've presented an awesome Rarity and Cadence, I must say, and the dynamics of the sisters and their divinity is very interesting.

Kudos on the disaster scene, and on Celestia in general - your presentation of her feelings for Twilight, her worries as a leader and her interactions with Luna have left me with great faith in the Twilestia side of things, and I'm eager to see how things develop, especially once Twilight's side of things comes into play.

Looking forward to more!

1726609 My class is doing Their Eyes Were Watching God. This time, we get to listen to a reading of the chapter on disc, but we still have to read the book as well. That southern old English doesn't suit well to my eyes. :fluttercry:

Thanks for the kind words.

Actually rather surprised that there hasn't been more rage about said disastrous scene. The first chapter is pretty much the high point on the 'Dark' scale. I rather expected a lot more flak and negative ratings just for that alone. Or at least people accusing me of hating my dear, beloved 'Tia.

No hate mail and just a few anonymous unexplained dislikes. Which every story gets. Go fandom! :heart:

As for Twilight's side of things.. umm.. yeah.
She's Twilight, Paragon of Crisis Management, as per usual. :twilightoops:

Oh believe me, considering my own Twilestia writings I'm the last person who can complain about blowing Celestia up or something.

I'm pretty annoyed more people aren't commenting on the high quality of this story. Make no mistake, this is a cut above the rest.


*groan* everytime you say something nice about a story, especially one in the Twilestia folder, I pretty much have to read it. Y u do dis.

Because I'm a wizard. It's true.

Yay :yay:! This is finally published!

I'm eager to see more of this story since the last time we spoke. :twilightsmile:

And to the readers: please leave a comment if you dislike this. How is an author to improve if all he receives is praise?

Speaking of that, can't believe I forgot to favorite Composure when I finally signed up. Fixed that.

Yeah, you're right though. You really aren't allowed to talk about injuring Celestia! :derpytongue2:
Hurt/Comfort fics can be terribly fun and suitably sappy. But that isn't really what this one is.

The Twilestia is pretty much the last pairing, chronologically, that will get substantial attention ('Tia's pining in the first chapter aside), even if it is my personal favorite. The story allows nothing else, unfortunately. There's, like, four romantic subplots running through this monstrosity, of various degrees from very casual to serious, and I make no promises at all about all of them working out.

There's truth here. Authors are powered by feedback (and caffeine presumably), and it doesn't have to be positive. Everyone needs an editorial smack upside the head on occasion.

It's possible that people are being a bit careful due to knighty's recent blog post? I have a thick skin though, and I know the difference between criticism and cruelty.

Honestly my only criticism so far is that the cover art does not do the story justice at all .

Can't disagree there, but I've yet to find anything suitable without usage restrictions from the artist like:
"Don't use my art EVER." :flutterrage: Which is fair enough, but not helpful.

The search continues! Though if anything fitting comes to mind for anyone, I happily take suggestions that would shorten said search via PM.

Ye Gods, this is incredible. I can't even describe how much I enjoy this without it just sounding redundant. It was double plus maximum good.

There are just so many places that I liked, it's hard to name the bits I liked best without just copy-pasting the whole story into the comments. Lines like "Fragile, short-lived mortal ponies had taken up the holy talismans of the divine, and smote a dark goddess upon the stones of her own palace." convey such an incredible sense of grandeur and... epicness. It's a real pleasure to read.

And.. I like Cadence. I can hardly ever stand her. When she was first announced I was practically heralding it as the death of ponydom in my head, that the second Lauren Faust was gone they started making up stupid crap. But here... she's just incredible. The amorous goddess of love, she's playful, kind, and so so powerful. I've never before seen her written as an actual goddess to be held on the same level as Celestia and Luna and not wanted to call it a load of crap before as I have here.

Man... I wish I could favorite it twice. I'm going to be leaping to my feet and dancing over every chapter of Crucible the way I do for Composure.

And to think I almost didn't read it because Rarity was in a chapter title. Never again will I doubt the incredible truth that a good author can make any character truly awesome. I've never been a fan of Rarity at all, but every single thing she does in this chapter just reinforces this idea in my head that Rarity is a badass, the very spirit of Nobility and Grace, and I can absolutely see suddenly why some people pick Rarity as their favorite pony in a way that I've never understood before.

Just... arghhh. I'm going to stop before I spend twenty pages talking about how profoundly I enjoyed this.

Good sir, your story synopsis had my curiosity. Now, after reading this three chapters you have my attention.

The dialogue is just... wow. It is awesome, as Jiopaba pointed out. The descriptions do an amazing job of conveying emotions and images.

I really liked the descriptions of the magic being thrown around. Rarity felt very in character and I loved her portrayal. Curious where RD and Luna is going to go... never seen a romance between the two of them before but it looks interesting!

Did I also detect a hint of TwiLestia as well?

I can hardly contain myself waiting for another chapter! Good show sir! :moustache:

Liking the new cover image.

Yes, I very much approve of this story. There is cute, there is darkness, there is adventure! Aside from the occasional typos, which totally had no effect on my enjoyment of the story, this was really well done.

I hope you continue this :3

Trixie is best superhero.
For one hundred bits per hour. Plus danger pay. :trixieshiftleft:

No IOUs.

Lots of OC's though. :twilightblush:


MY GOD! This story is bloody Epic!

I get to the end of a chapter and I'm like "NOOOOOOOOOOO! :fluttercry: " I'm like in love with this story, so far Luna's side has been my favourite (Probly cos she's my favourite :heart: )

I look foward to reading more of your most excellent chapters

Damn, awesome job writing Trixie. :trixieshiftleft: :trixieshiftright:

I like the way you portrayed Tixie, well done sir! :trixieshiftleft:


I usually don't like Trixie at all, but you made her lovable and just generally awsome while still keeping to her personality :heart:

Keep up the good work! :scootangel:

Again, I am stunned! Shocked! Awed! Trixie was a badass all along, and the events of Boast Busters happened when she was just sort of caught up in her own legend! Some of this might actually make its way into my own personal head-canon.

My only complaint is that it didn't seem to have much relevance to the story as a whole, unless you were specifically introducing Trixie to set up an important role later in the story. No offense, but as much as I love these long sort of character re-imaginings you go through, I'd hate to have to wait for all four others of the Mane Six plus a handful of other ponies before the narrative draws its way back to Twilight.

I've never seen Beatrix used as a name for Trixie either, now that I think about it, but it's a good name. Trixie's really likeable here somehow... a shame she's still mistaken. Trixie could never be more awesome than Twilight Sparkle! Hell, the Princesses themselves have trouble being more awesome than Twilight, and they're Gods or close to it.

Twilight is the next chapter, as it happens. I'm not actually cycling through all the available characters, though I can see how it might seem that way. The chapter after that is Luna again, for example.

It's not to say we won't eventually get to all of the Mane 6 and Co. I know I won't be getting to Pinkie Pie as a focus for some time, for example, but that one should be a real doozy when it appears.

There's two separate plotlines going. One focusing on events in Canterlot, with the alicorns and the Mane 6, the other with the Changeling infestation in Hoofington, with Trixie. They'll eventually join up, and we'll get out of the OC Ghetto with Trixie, but that's still some chapters away.

<Cue cheerful ending music>

Was everyone all ready for some sweet and sappy Twilestia? :trollestia: :twilightblush:
Sorry, your princess is in another castle. :twilightangry2:

So, as of Sleepless in Ponyville yesterday, Luna as a goddess of dreams is canon. That just made my day, as it was a rather important point in the story, and I had figured it was a departure from the source. Thanks FiM writers!

Also newly canon is the fact that Dash snores like a particularly large and surly lumberjack. So I had to painstakingly change one or two whole sentences. Curse you FiM writers!

If it's confusion over the chapter, this is certainly the one for it. I'm afraid dear Twilight is as high as a kite for the first half of it, and we have the dubious pleasure of following her perspective as she recovers.

Nothing I can do about confusion over me. That's normal.

but did twilight actually try to kill celestia or is she having one of her moments??

aghhhh my head is full of wut

I'm still going to side with Twilight in almost any sort of debate or argument, because she is without question in my mind, the protagonist of the story and my favorite pony. But even so...

I wish she would elaborate. I'm not quite at the point of shaking her and going "What do you MEAN?! WHY would you do that? But still. I really want to know, man...

Ah, another wonderful update. Every chapter your writing improves - it's fun to watch.

As Twilight still isn't remembering/thinking clearly by the end of this chapter I'm going to have to assume that Luna was right about Twilight trying to hold back Celestia's out of control power. She just thinks she was hurting/killing her because all she remembers is fucking with Celestia's sun powers.

Things are Never that simple... :trollestia:
I wonder if there is a piece of Celestia hidden inside Twilight that could help heal Celestia's wounds.
A small piece of goddess that is causing Twilight to continually flare (to greater and lesser degrees).

Damn, the next chapter simply can't come fast enough.

Ah, my suspicions have proven correct! Mind you, I was expecting Celestia to wake up before this revelation came to light, but I suppose her wounds are a bit too dire for that... regardless, I look forward to how it plays out, and I hope that we see some more Celestia before the end/climax of the story. I want to see her reaction, because of everyone, I think she was the first to realize what went wrong.

So, Twilight was trying to protect her brother, was she not? So she threw off Celestia's control, but didn't understand the full weight of her actions and the mechanics of Celestia's power. That's my guess here. I think we all learned a little lesson about showing off your godlike might using someone's sibling as target practice, no? :twilightoops:

Really liked the fade in and out format of the chapter, by the way, with her catching snippets of what was going on around her. My favorites were the parts with Rarity, especially the flirty/trolling side of Cadence she seems to bring out. You can consider my interest keenly focused on these three, right behind the drama of your Twilestia.

Keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to the next one.

Medicinal peyote huh? Loving this, can't wait for more.



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