• Member Since 8th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 15th, 2014

MakeMeFamous


T

As Twilight Sparkle continues to go to Canterlot for private study sessions with Princess Celestia, she notices she feels less alone. This however raises more questions than it answers, forcing Twilight to figure out things she has never really even gave much thought to. Relationships. Love. Meanwhile, Princess Celestia has to struggle with her own emotions and fears, caused by centuries of loneliness and fear of getting too attached to anypony.

Cover art: "A Kiss Goodnight (coloured)" by Bri-sta. Used with permission.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 87 )

Just putting this out here; since I got some tests next week, I'll probably get working on the next chapter after next Wednesday - hopefully. In the mean time, I hope you enjoy the first chapter. :3

~MMF

not bad, not much wrong I saw besides you're supposed to have 3 periods when trailing off instead of two, but petty grievances aside nice start.

Seems interesting enough. I'll keep an eye on it...

I loved it. Some of the writing is a little clumsy, but the emotion expressed is superb. In any case it's some Twilestia :twilightsmile:

1474661 Thanks, fixed.
1475182 I'm glad you found it interesting. :3
1475940 Oh wow, thank you so much. And yea, as I mentioned, this is the first thing I've wrote in a LONG while, excluding school stuff of course, but I hope to improve as the story progresses.

Loved it, can't wait for more :heart:

Found some minor issues though

1476159 Would you care to elaborate..? Oh, and glad you liked it, more is one the way. : )

1476201

*Derp!* I meant to put in my last comment asking weather you wanted to handle them right here in the comments or if you perfer a PM?

Seems good :P


More paragraphs, or at least some more line breaks, could have made reading it a little easier, however.

1476257 I'll try to work on it for the future chapters, thanks.

I liked it :heart:
It was very much worth a watch and a upvote :twilightsmile:

1476307 Wow.. I never expected this to get such a positive response so early on, and I gotta say it really makes me want to keep writing. Thank you.

1476351
To be as honest as i can i have to admit i read every Twilestia / Twiluna fic i can get my grubby little hands on. :heart:
The image of two lonely souls coming together to fill the hole in each others hearts makes me literally squee with joy :twilightsmile:

:twilightsmile:
Nice one. When you wrote about your writing ability in the last chapter, I was expecting to find some noticeable errors, but nothing struck me, so you should feel more secure in your writing talent.
There's something about Twilestia that I like, I don't know why. But suddenly, when I was reading this fic, I was thinking about how wrong it is, really. It's one of those authority position no-nos, having a relationship with a student, because it's taking advantage of their ... lol. Not that this thought has anything to do with your fic. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it.

It's terrible, because whenever I find a good shipping Fic, I always complain that I don't normally like shipping fics. But doesn't that technically mean I like shipping fics? :unsuresweetie:

Anyways, I loved it. Twilestia presents it's own problems, but I suppose that's what draws me to shipping, hm? The problems the relationships create, and the good feels. Awesome first try man! :yay:

Out of curiosity, why'd you choose Twilestia for your first Fic? :trixieshiftright:

looks good mate, i shall be keeping an eye on this

Well now, this wasn't bad at all. I really enjoyed it! Guess who's fic just got a fave! :twilightblush:

1476956 Yeah the first time I came across Twilestia, I was like "lolwut? that's just weird". Then I started thinking a bit, and after a while, read some. They just fit together so well, no matter their positions as mentor and teacher or whatever. I can't help but like it. :3 And thank you, I've been getting such positive feedback that I'm getting more comfortable writing for sure. Yay!
1478121 Yes, the problems.. But overcoming them is what makes it so much better in the end, right? :D And it seems I kinda answered your question. ^
1478647 I'm glad you enjoyed it. :3
1478685 *squee*

that was pretty good, i was expecting loads of small problems, but i didn't find any that interrupted the flow at least.

This is really good, will be waiting for more! :twilightsmile:

When I clicked on your precursor chapter and read that this was your first story, not to mention that English wasn't your first language, I had mentally prepared myself for a chapter full of glaring errors and mismatched sentences. :unsuresweetie:

However, having now read your opening chapter, I've come to the conclusion that you don't give yourself enough credit. :derpyderp2: This chapter was remarkably well written, very well paced, and contained less than a handful of slightly choppy sentences. :twilightsmile: I've seen chapters like this produced by veteran MLP authors! :ajsmug:

Simply put, you're doing yourself a disservice. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_lazy.png You're a far better writer than you realize. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png

I'm favouriting this, and I'm looking forward to more. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png

1481755 Yay! :3
1483089 Yes it seems that I did underestimate myself, but I had my doubts at the time. Now I'm just hoping to keep it up. :twilightsmile: Nevertheless, thank you for the compliments.

I have noticed that there is a slight mechanical issue with the flow of the story. I cannot really put my finger on it though, but that is not important.

What is important is what lies underneith. What I found is a wonderful beginning to a story that grabbed my attention from the beginning. The story is always the most important part, and you have done very well there.

I am looking forward to the next chapter, for if the tale you weave continues to be this good, then I know I shall be very pleased to read it.

1486234 Oh wow, the pressure is building up.. :'D I have to admit that I started this project rather unprepared, and therefore the thought I first put in the overall storyline wasn't all that detailed. However, this is something I am working on as best as I can at the moment, seeing that it got a "bit" more attention than I thought. It seems this story and it's future now occupy my mind all the time... xd

1486366 Well I'm happy you read it anyway. Or so it seems. :S

1486540 At times, the best stories happen when you just sit down and do it! Could it be that this is one of those times? I think so :twilightsmile:

1486568 Okay now I think you're stretching this a bit. :3 Nevertheless, I'll keep giving this my best and we'll see where it leads.

Wow...and I thought releasing the first chapter was stressful. Nevertheless, here it is. It turned out to be a bit longer than I expected, so that's why it took a while. Again, I would appreciate it if any grammar errors or other mistakes would be pointed out so I can fix 'em. I went through this like ten times, but I'm pretty tired atm... Hope you enjoy it! :3

~MMF

Let's just go ahead and give this the thumbs up. It'll look nice next to that shiny gold "favorite" star. Twilight feeling as empty and confused as Celestia, Luna playing matchmaker - let's get this ship a-sailin'!

MOAR!!!

Also, go Luna!

Really really good so far, found a couple minor wording issues I'll be sending in a PM shortly

:heart::heart::heart:

Keep it up!

1512906 Thanks.
1512974 Yay! :3
1513841 Heh, I wasn't going to include Luna in all this (so soon?), but it just kinda came to be as I wrote it the other day. Also, thanks for all the feedback and help with the grammar 'n stuff. :)
1515057>>1516671 Yeah it's coming, though it might take a bit longer than this chapter. D: Also school's gonna be taking my time too, since exam week is over and the regular stuff starts again... ._.

1517611

Happy to help :twilightsmile: I know the pain of not having help when writing stuff

I also really empathize with the school situation... I'm taking an online course right now myself and it's really screwing with my fanfic right now :pinkiesick: I should probably let my readers know that o.O

1517885 Yeah, not really accustomed to the whole uni situation yet. Takes way more time than I thought and writing after a full day of lectures is just... But I love doing this, and seeing people enjoy my fic is amazing. Guess I have to start putting chapter 3 together.. :'D

1517982

Don't rush it on our account :twilightsmile: It's better that we get something really good than something that's kinda...meh. I just read a fic here not to long ago where the author was having problems with the last chapter and it was taking so long to write so they rushed it, and it felt rushed. You could really tell.

great chapter!

im just confused as to why celestia moaned when twilight landed on her back, just seems kinda silly, i mean, it's her back, did it have something to do with her wings maybe?

1521945 Nah, it's just he sudden intimacy that caught her off guard. Dunno, might be a bit silly...

1522041
okay, i just thought that moaning because of that is a little weird, but not much of a big deal.

I skipped trough the first chapter but completely love the second! :twilightblush:
I hope you update soon

1565274 Last week was tiring so I did pretty much nothing for the weekend, but I have started writing ch3.
Oh and anything particular that caused you to skip the first chapter? O.o

1566023 it was just me being lazy, don't worry, I read it late and was only looking for interesting dialogue :twilightsmile:
so yeah, my bad.

Well my weekend just keeps getting better. Just finished watching the first two episodes of season three (which were epic), after that I noticed that 'Four of Two' updated (YAY!) and I even managed to finish the third chapter. I only went through it two or three times before the upload (for grammar 'n stuff), because once again it's late and I'm exhausted. Feel free to point stuff out, so I can fix it. This wasn't really supposed to be so long, but I got lost in the moment a few times...

Hope it was worth the wait!

~MMF

I don't think Twilight will be disappoint at fluttershy when the end result is said and done

lol Leave it to Twilight to cause coitus interruptus, and be totally unaware! :facehoof:

Curious though... could it be that Fluttershy may have feelings for a certain Princess of the Night that she does not even know about? (Just an observation drawn from a line at the end of the chapter... probably baseless, but still a thought)

Nicely done again, and bonus points for taking your time and not rushing the relationship.

Minor corrections:

The lights are still on! Relieved, the lavender mare started to trot towards Fluttershy’s home. = were (tense shift)

almost asked her to remove her’s for a while. = hers (impersonal possessive)

she was being all…allusive. = elusive (avoiding others, avoiding making answers), unless she's speaking in allusions, which is possible too!

1594553 ;)
1595686 Maybe...or maybe not... :3
1596255 Thanks, the last one was on purpose. :)

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