Chapter 1 - "The Loudest Silence"
Chapter One - “The Loudest Silence”
by MakeMeFamous
The lavender unicorn was sitting on her haunches next to her bedroom window, embracing the warmth of several blankets she had dug up before going to bed last night, leaning her head against the wall in exhaustion. She had been sitting upright before, positioned so that she could see outside, since a few hours ago she had actually been gazing there, trying to keep her brain occupied. But nothing really happened in Ponyville during the night, and after time passed she had more or less gotten lost in her own thoughts, slumping against the wall, hoping to fall asleep. While pushing a few strands of her indigo mane aside, she absentmindedly focused her gaze on the window, which was still a bit fuzzy, and beyond it. The mist that had covered Ponyville most of the night, and had prevented her from using the stars as a much needed distraction was slowly fading, making way for a sight that made her feel warmer than what the blankets ever could. As the first rays of sunshine crept from behind the mountains, they painted the sky in a sparkling spectrum of colors, which always reminded her of the princess’ mane.
Dawn was the first cue for most of Ponyville to wake up, and some early risers could already be seen emerging from their houses, but at the moment Twilight was too tired to really pay attention to the finer details. The small puffs of smoke emerging from Sugarcube corner, windows creaking open revealing yawning faces and Derpy, flying from mailbox to mailbox in a rather erratic manner completely skipped her focus, and all she saw was a blurred version of Ponyville. Originally she had thought that all of this was a result of her excessive studying, but after a full week without sleep she wasn’t so sure anymore. She had tried everything she could think off, and eventually a lot of things she never would have thought of, courtesy of her friends. Rarity had found out about Twilight’s problem when she had agreed to act as a model for her to complete some unfinished dresses. Everything had gone fine until she had fallen asleep in the making of the first dress, falling off the platform and effectively ruining the dress in the process. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had found out shortly after, when Twilight had found herself face to face with Fluttershy in the edges of Everfree Forest, searching for some nonexistent treasure Dash had joked about after reading the latest Daring Do book. After that, she had felt it was best if she just told the rest of her friends and consider trying whatever they had in mind to help her.
Applejack had been curious, telling Twilight that she didn’t have any trouble sleeping after a hard days’ work, on the contrary actually. There were days she had some trouble making it all the way to her bedroom before dozing off. Having said that, she had asked Twilight to come over and try for herself. It hadn’t really worked out too well, leaving her exhausted after a mere half hour of applebucking. After realizing that bucking apples wasn’t her thing, they had moved onto the less strenuous activities like planting seeds, feeding the animals and even painting the barn. Twilight had gone home in the evening, every joint and limb aching, but sleep had still eluded her.
Twilight had been hopeful that Rainbow Dash could have offered some insightful tips, seeing as she napped almost all the time. After a few moments of furious thinking, she had disappeared to the sky, only to come back a moment later with a cloud in tow. It had taken quite a while, and a bit of magic to get the big cloud all the way up to Twilight’s bedroom. Just as Dash had placed it over Twilight’s regular bed, it had occurred to Twilight that there was no way she could use it without magic. After casting the spell that allowed her to walk, and in this case lay on clouds, she begun to understand why Dash slept all the time; the cloud was unbelievably comfy. It didn’t take too long for her magic to fade however, resulting in a rather painful encounter with her bed. As the original plan had more or less failed, Dash had just instructed her to get a comfier bed, and maybe use her magic to soundproof her bedroom to remove any distractions.
When it came to Pinkie Pie, she was naturally expecting something silly, and wasn’t disappointed. However Pinkie’s actual suggestion still managed to take her by surprise, leaving her staring at her friend in confusion for a few seconds.
“A bath in poison joke..? Are you crazy?”
“Nope. And I said diluted poison joke silly!”
The idea of somepony actually doing it hadn’t even crossed her mind before Pinkie explained that she had learned it from her grandmother. She didn’t know much about Pinkie Pie’s family, and thus even found herself thinking about trying it for a fleeting second, but after thanking her friend for the advice, decided that she’d rather not lose her magic again.
Now as much as she trusted her friends, she had still left out something important when telling them about her troubles - a crushing feeling of emptiness. Or rather, loneliness. It had been only a few weeks since she had first noticed it, and it was already bordering unbearable. It had started around the same time as her the lessons with the princess, and she wondered whether she should’ve said something to her. Now, after two whole weeks and four opportunities to do so, she felt stupid for keeping it to herself, but she tended to forget all of her problems, along with anything else, while spending time with the princess.
The fact that loneliness caused her so much anxiety confused her to no end. Being lonely was nothing new to her; before moving to Ponyville she had spent most of her life in solitude, her only friends being the books she surrounded herself with. She had always thought that the books and the occasional lesson or chat with the princess would be enough, but now…now she wasn’t sure anymore. She wondered if all this had something to do with the sudden insomnia, though the only way to find out would be to actually get some sleep, which in this case was easier said than done.
What she had noticed however, was that this particular feeling seemed to ease off when she was surrounded by her friends. However the joy that came with this discovery vanished quickly, as she exhausted every new idea she could come up with, all the way from brief visits to organizing sleepovers with her friends. Nothing seemed to push it away, and the feeling of relief always left when her friends did, and she was left to dwell in the loneliness every waking second she was alone. And there were a lot of those lately.
After blinking a few times she noticed that the Sun had managed to sneak high enough to shine in her eyes, effectively drawing her focus back to the real world. The view from Twilight’s window was like a picture from a fairytale, and it took her a lot of effort to break away from it, only to fully recognize the state her room was in. She remembered her room being messy, but looking at it now made her realized that it was a severe understatement. Every flat surface, including most of her bed, was covered with piles of random books. The floor was barely visible underneath dozens of scrolls; some of which had actual theories or essays on them, and others that were just doodles. Scattered amongst the scrolls and books, were empty ink bottles and broken quills. It also seemed that only half of the ink had managed to make its way onto the parchment, as the parts of her desk that were visible were covered in black dots. She was surprised at how she had managed to make her way to the window last night. The urge to write a research paper on the effects of sleep deprivation on one’s memory surfaced briefly, but she was too tired for that, which was also the reason for the lack of order in her room. She simply didn’t have the energy to keep everything in place, nor did she apparently even notice it anymore. She remembered seeing Spike clean her room just yesterday. Or had it been two days ago, or maybe even three? She shook her head in frustration, it didn’t really matter, he’d gotten tired of cleaning the same mess repeatedly at some point and now she was stuck with it.
The room itself was rather small and the furnishings simple – just the way she liked it. However the size of the room had become an issue with Spike growing up. Only a month or so ago he had asked Twilight whether he could have a room of his own, which had opened her eyes to the fact of how much space he was actually occupying. While cleaning up a storage room for him to live in, she had realized how much he had actually grown up; he was able to easily lift things that even Big Macintosh would have had trouble with, and things that she certainly would have needed her magic to move around. It was also increasingly hard for him to even move around in the house, as he was steadily closing in on being the same size as the door frames.
All of this had gotten her thinking about how much he’d grown and it always made her moody; every time she looked at him, even with him now being more than two times taller than she was and having wings that were enough to make Rainbow Dash jealous, she remembered the cutest little purple dragon who had just hatched and was sucking his claw. The thought of him moving to a room of his own made her think whether he would eventually move out completely, leaving her alone. Was this what all these feelings of hers were about? No matter how lonely she had been in the past, Spike had always been there for her, even though technically she had been taking care of him. He had been, and still was, somepony she could talk to. He was always willing to listen to her ramble on about whatever was bugging her, just like the princess back when she had lived in Canterlot. However thinking about the princess only made the knot in her stomach tighten, so she decided to get up, hoping to find something to keep her mind busy for the day.
Twilight opted on skipping shower and instead spent a few moments in front of a mirror making her mane look slightly more presentable before making her way downstairs. As soon as she entered the stairwell, the scent of breakfast overwhelmed her. Seems that Spike has already woken up, she thought and descended to the first floor of the hollow tree functioning as a library – and her home.
“Morning Twilight!” Spike called out while flipping a pancake.
“Good morning Spike,” Twilight answered lazily, while sitting down and looking outside. “Looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day,” Twilight noted, almost slipping back to her thoughts again.
“Yeah, shame you have to spend it studying with the Princess,” Spike said while bringing the food to the table and picking up a fork, ready to enjoy a quiet and delicious breakfast.
This dream however faded quickly as he saw Twilight’s reaction. It was like a bolt of lightning had struck Twilight when the princess was mentioned. Because at that moment she realized that today she was supposed to go to Canterlot for a private lesson with Princess Celestia, just like she had for the past couple weeks. These lessons were more than she could have ever wished for, since she got to learn more advanced magic from the princess herself and also finally had a chance to talk about the things she had learned, which was something she had been hoping to do since the gala incident. And she had forgotten about it. How could she have forgotten about it! It was bad enough that she couldn’t work or study properly because she couldn’t sleep, but if the princess would think she didn’t appreciate this opportunity… She had much to pack, and less than enough time. As Spike watched with a rather amused look on his face, used to Twilight freaking out over little things, the aforementioned mare went crazy running around the library panicking, cursing herself for forgetting the lesson.
“Twilight.” “TWILIGHT!”
The shout seemed to snap Twilight from her panic attack, as she tried to locate the source of the voice. “Twilight you’ve been up for ten minutes and you’re already freaking out. Calm down, It’s not that big of a deal. And you’re not even late,” Spike said in a comforting tone while he stared at her helping of pancakes longingly after already having finished his own in a few bites.
“Spike, how could I not be worried, it’s Princess Celestia we are talking about. She’s kind enough to give me private lessons on more advanced magic and I haven’t done anything to prepare myself for today,” Twilight squeaked, panic starting to make its way back.
Spike gave her a curious look and inquired: “Why is it that she’s giving you these lessons anyway? I thought you already knew everything.”
“You can’t be serious,” was all Spike managed to hear as Twilight galloped back to her room, already regretting skipping shower this morning. There was no time for it anymore. Not that it was all that necessary, but she always wanted to be at her best when spending time with the Princess.
“Oh well,” Spike thought and moved the rest of the pancakes in front of him, drooling slightly. The cracks and thuds coming from upstairs didn’t disturb him the slightest as he finished Twilight’s part of the breakfast in one big mouthful.
Only a minute or so later a sharp knock on the door drew Spike’s attention and he started making his way to answer the door. Twilight, however, beat him to it and cracked the door open with a nervous smile on her face. And sure enough, standing outside were two stallions from Celestia’s royal guard. “Ready, Ms. Sparkle?” the other one grunted and shot a confused look at Twilight, as she was practically shaking.
“Yea, er, sure,” she responded quickly and stepped outside where the golden chariot was waiting. The light reflecting from it nearly blinded Twilight for a moment. Princess Celestia always sent her own chariot to pick up Twilight. She felt honored, but also a bit embarrassed. She was just a regular pony after all.
As they ascended to the sky, one of the guards noted that the mare didn’t have as much books with her as usual. “Lighter lesson today?” he asked with a smirk on his face, trying to break the awkwardness.
“Yeah, I guess so,” she responded, before getting lost in her thoughts, riddled with the fear of being ta…late.
This went on for a good while, almost until they were halfway to Canterlot. After seeing the first towers of the castle in the horizon, she convinced herself that she would arrive in time. Everything was okay, and even if she didn’t get every book she would have liked, she had the most important ones and she would be able to go through with the lesson just fine. However she made a mental note to get a calendar just for the lessons, hoping that it would guarantee that she wouldn’t forget them again.
Finally focusing on the stallions pulling the chariot, she realized that she recognized both of them, even though their appearances were now enchanted to reflect the princess they guarded. Lightning Strike and Steel Wing had both already been in the Royal Guard when she was a little filly living in the castle, though they had only been recruits at the time. It offered Twilight a distraction, and with that being exactly what she needed, she asked: “So Lightning, how is it guarding the princess herself?”
He chuckled. “Compared to following you around, it’s been a breeze.”
“The scenery hasn’t changed all that much though,” Steel Wing added, his friendly tone contradicting with his neutral expression. “She spends a lot of her time in the same places you used to.” he said.
“Maybe she misses you,” Lightning Strike said, directing a small grin at Twilight.
For some reason Twilight felt her cheeks heat up a bit. Ignoring it, she went on: “I don’t remember being that hard to watch after.”
“Well you weren’t, not before you learned to teleport anyways,” Lightning Strike said, still grinning, “That’s why the princess got Cadence to look after you,” he added.
“It seemed she would have wanted to do it herself, but obviously she didn’t have the time for it,” Steel Wing added in a serious manner.
This was something she didn’t know. And she couldn’t really process the information she had just received. Princess Celestia cared for her more than she knew. She had always thought she had just been a student amongst others. She had to have had other students, right? She had never really gotten around to ask about them, though she had been curious.
“So Twilight, how have you been? Haven’t seen you since you lived in the castle,” Lightning Strike asked.
“Well you know, just been studying and stuff,” she responded. “How about you two?”
“Oh same old same old, every day is pretty much the same; follow the princess, make sure everything is fine, I’m sure you remember how it is.” He shot a curious glance at Twilight: “Still just studying, huh?”
Twilight smiled back sheepishly: “Well...yeah, the princess likes to keep me busy. How about you Steel, same thing?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary, Miss Sparkle,” Steel Wing grunted.
“Oh you really should try and relax sometimes Steel,” Lightning Strike said poking him in the side, provoking a small grin from Twilight.
The rest of the trip was spent in silence as Twilight thought about Celestia and tried to remember more of her time in the castle.
***
The Sun Princess woke up while it was still dark as usual, one of the downsides to being the caretaker of the Sun. She got up to her haunches and gazed out of the window; though she couldn’t see the Sun, she could feel it just behind the mountains, patiently waiting for her to do her part.
There was a knock on the door, and after Celestia had confirmed that she was awake, the door opened and a light yellow unicorn came into the room, a tea tray floating in front of her in a red aura, same color as the unicorn’s mane.
“G-Good morning princess,” the unicorn said, while placing the tray on the nightstand.
“Good morning,” Celestia replied, smiling warmly. She grasped the teacup with her magic, while simultaneously hovering her crown and regalia towards her. The unicorn watched while she drank the tea, after which she grasped the tray with her own magic and started making her way out of the room. Before she reached the door however, she stopped and turned back to the princess.
“Uhm…princess?” she asked nervously.
“Yes Starlight?” Celestia responded, raising an eyebrow.
“I-I was wondering if…” she trailed off for a second, “I was wondering if it would be okay for me to watch you raise the Sun, everypony is saying that it’s w-wonderful to see.” She watched as the princess’ curious expression changed back to the warm smile.
“Of course you can, and you never have to ask for my permission for that Starlight,” she said, still smiling.
“T-Thank you so much,” Starlight uttered, her smile almost reaching her ears as she turned and left.
Celestia directed her gaze outside again, and saw the slightest sliver of the Moon as it was drifting off sight. That was just the sort of behavior she could expect from most of the ponies in the castle. Almost all of them felt the need to grovel whenever she was within eyesight, and it didn’t seem to matter how many times she said that it wasn’t necessary. But getting angry wasn’t the way to approach it either, so she had accepted the fact that it was something she probably couldn’t change and had learned to live with it.
As she got up, she happened to gaze into a mirror, which covered an unreasonably large amount of the wall for her tastes. Even though she was a Princess, she wasn’t too keen on spending time staring at her own reflection, always reminding her of the hours she had spent staring at it back when she had had to banish her own sister. Every time she saw an image of herself, the feelings of guilt and remorse surfaced, feelings she wished would leave her alone. But even after her sister had forgiven her, they kept coming back and haunting her. She often thought about requesting a smaller one, but it tended to slip her mind whenever she had the chance to actually do so, her mind always preoccupied with other things - mostly regarding the kingdom of Equestria and the welfare of her subjects. The beautiful alabaster alicorn staring back at her from the mirror wore the same miserable look that Celestia did whenever she was alone. She watched her ever flowing mane rippling in the imaginary winds, and let out a resigned sigh.
What she saw herself, was a pony who had nopony to make her really feel wanted or… loved. Even though she was always surrounded by hundreds of ponies, all the way from the guards to chefs and other servants who respected her, they were still afraid of her powers, both as a ruler and magically. Even if they didn’t show it openly, she knew it was there, forcing everyone to keep their distance. Of course there were a few ponies who were more relaxed in her company, but none of them close enough for her to actually confide in. On top of that the ponies she could call her friends rarely had any time to spend with her. One of them was the captain of the royal guard, Shining Armor – Twilight’s brother. He and his wife, Cadence, were the ponies she would go to talk to while Luna had been…gone. But they had their hooves full even without Celestia’s problems, and now that they spent most of their time in the Crystal Empire, she rarely got a chance to talk to them.
Even Luna hadn’t completely gotten over the centuries she had spent locked in the Moon because of Celestia, or at least that’s what Celestia saw. Despite having no other options at the time, it had still been the most difficult and painful decision of her life. Of course Luna didn’t show any signs of this distress, at least perceivable by eyes or ears, but it was there, reminding Celestia every time she looked into her sister’s eyes – her sister still resented her. And why wouldn’t she? I should have seen it coming. If I had been paying more attention, I would have noticed something. She should have been able to save Luna… She had thought that after their reunion the pain would subside, but it hadn’t. Instead, she felt lonelier than ever.
With these depressing thoughts circulating in her head, she absentmindedly gazed around her bedroom. Despite being a Princess and even a Goddess, her tastes were rather simple when it came to furnishing. And that was no accident; she felt that all the gold and jewels only managed to distance her even more from all the other ponies. That’s exactly what the noble ponies in Canterlot did, trying to establish their supremacy over others with their bits, and exactly what she wanted to avoid. This would probably have caused a lot of condemnation amongst the aforementioned noble ponies. She, however, didn’t feel the need to surround herself in gold and jewels anymore; she had even given up most of her royal armor, though this was mostly because of the memories that clung to it, memories of Luna and the times they had fought together to protect Equestria. But those days were over, along with the ones where she had been like everyone else in Canterlot: reserved, snobby, aristocratic. At first she had thought that being a princess required her to be like every other noble pony, covered in jewels and appearing to be perfect and desirable. But after years passed she had realized just how fake it all was, trying to fill the void inside of her with pretty things, and that she didn’t feel desirable at all, but rather arrogant.
When she had taken Twilight, a regular pony with no ties to royalty whatsoever, as her personal protégé, the reaction from the nobles had been less than desirable. While most had silently despised the choice, some of them had openly opposed it, claiming that a commoner should not have the honor. This resulted in a heated argument between Celestia and the nobles; while they seemed to think that learning anything, especially magic from the princess should be considered one of the highest honors in Equestria, she herself said that it shouldn’t be such a big deal, and that anypony, if talented enough, should have the chance to learn. She also explained that there was no doubt Twilight would be able to keep up, with the more likely option being that she would learn faster than the rest of her students so far. When it came down to petty remarks about Twilight’s nonexistent heritage or any sort of royal background, Celestia had to really fight the urge to respond with similar insults, or simply to lash out at them. She however managed to keep her cool, acknowledging their concerns, but also announcing that her decision wasn’t open for discussion, and that she would listen to no more complaints or insults regarding Twilight. The complaints didn’t stop there, but Celestia chose to ignore them from there on, focusing on Twilight and her studies.
When appealing to the princess herself didn’t work, they turned on Twilight, heckling and mocking her. Whenever she visited the town, she would be looked down at. She also couldn’t really talk to anyone outside the castle walls without being constantly insulted and reminded how she didn’t deserve to even be here. Most of the more prestigious shops even refused to sell to her. After days of endless harassment Twilight had been more than ready to run away in shame. And she probably would have, if Celestia hadn’t found out about it. She put an end to it the very next day, calling the ringleaders of the insult spewing nobles into the throne room. After hearing how disappointed she was at their unacceptable behavior, they were stripped of all of their titles, along with the privileges that came with them. It had taken some time, but she had also managed to reassure Twilight of her worth. After she had managed to calm her down and wiped away the last tears, she had told her there was nopony she would rather mentor. It had been enough to bring a smile to the filly’s face, accompanied by fierce blushing. After that, Twilight had started to slowly regain her confidence, though she didn’t leave the castle for a few months. The nobles weren’t too happy about how things turned out, but kept to themselves now, which was more than fine with Celestia.
Even she, for all the things she knew, hadn’t even dreamt about how much a single student could affect her life. Because she had selected Twilight for the talent she displayed, instead of just money and heritage like all the other students she’d had, it was different. She had mentored Twilight since she’d been just a little filly, and throughout the years the endless amounts of curiosity the purple unicorn presented, along with the eagerness to learn kept amazing her. Never before had a student shown such devotion to magic, and studying it. She had been the first pony Celestia was really proud to call her personal student. There had been many times during the years of teaching, where she’d caught herself behaving differently than she used to, and realized how much she had changed. Like the time when Twilight’s spell had misfired, spawning a vortex that went on and wrecked the whole room, instead of scolding her as she would have done with her other students, she had gone out of her way to comfort the shaken filly and encouraged her to try again. Or when she found Twilight sleeping when she was supposed to be taking a test, because she had been reading for the whole night, she just smiled, woke her up and proceeded to joke about it for the following month. But the most important thing she had realized was that she got something from Twilight, something she hadn’t felt in centuries: sincere respect and admiration. And that made her feel good about herself once again.
The irony was that she hadn’t met Twilight in a fancy classroom, or been contacted by her parents. She just happened to stumble upon her when she had been taking the entry exam for Celestia’s own school for gifted unicorns. Making it to the exam of course was a great achievement on its own, though as she had found out while chatting with Twilight’s parents afterwards, it had been the result of many letters and pleas to the school. She had also learned that Twilight probably wouldn't have drawn her attention, if it hadn’t been for the magical outburst triggered by a sonic rainboom, later to be known as the first one Rainbow Dash had pulled off. It had surely been one of the happiest days in Celestia’s life. She could only imagine it was one for Twilight as well, judging by the reaction she got after asking Twilight to be her protégé.
Just thinking about Twilight helped to dissolve the shroud of loneliness that was surrounding her. This sensation, accompanied by the fact that her faithful student was coming back to Canterlot for magic lessons today cheered her up immensely. When Twilight had been just a filly Celestia had been impressed by the amount of information she had been able to soak in, and her never ending desire to do so. If the last few weeks had shown her anything, it was that Twilight hadn’t slowed down at all, still managing to impress her with her knowledge of magic, and going into subjects even Celestia didn’t know much about. Luckily the thing she would teach Twilight today was something she knew perfectly, though she didn’t doubt for a second that Twilight wouldn’t come up with some sort of improvement upon it. Maybe they could think of something together. The time she had with Twilight seemed to be the only source of interesting conversation nowadays, since Luna slept through most of the day, and the nobles were simply boring and arrogant.
After ending this train of thought, Celestia noticed it was almost time. She stepped on the balcony, looking over Canterlot, still shrouded in darkness, though not as heavy as it had been a few hours ago she assumed. She had always thought that Canterlot was very graceful before the sunrise. The endless rows of white houses in neat circle patterns around the castle, their windows still dark and doors closed, the streets empty and quiet. The peace and beauty was almost overwhelming, even though she had spent numerous mornings just staring the same view, just before raising the Sun. The Sun. It was time.
With a gentle flap of her wings, Celestia leaped over the balcony fence and glided into the castle garden. The garden, for her, was the ideal place to raise the sun. Not only was it stunningly beautiful by itself, with countless trees and colorful flowers, but the effect of the slowly ascending Sun had on it was truly divine. Celestia took a deep breath, taking in the calming scent of nature, trying to push away the distressing thoughts that had swirled in her head just moments ago, and focused.
It wasn’t long until she felt ready, ready to raise the Sun and bring forth day. She opened her eyes, now filled with determination and concentration and fixed them on the spot of the mountains where she felt the Sun’s presence. What started out as quiet humming quickly evolved into a peaceful, yet passionate song, bringing the garden into a state where it seemed the time had stopped. There were no words, but instead feelings and emotions in perfect harmony, as magic surged into her horn with small sparks erupting along the way, slowly building up to a faint glow. As the glow intensified, the light of the Sun seemed to intensify with it. Slowly, the Sun started its climb. Celestia’s horn dimmed down as she watched the light slowly creeping towards the castle and the garden – towards her. Suddenly everything was flooded with different shades of red, yellow and orange. It was truly a sight to behold, and even though Celestia had seen it more times she could count, she still enjoyed every second of it. The light finally reached the garden, giving all the plants their true colors. All the beautiful daytime flowers starting to unfold, taking in all the light they could get. The way the sunlight danced on the castle walls, reflecting everywhere, leaving no place unlit. A feeling of great joy always overtook her, when she saw it all, now more than ever since Twilight would arrive in a few hours from now. And so, Celestia’s thoughts drifted back to Twilight as ponies around Canterlot began their morning chores.
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Just putting this out here; since I got some tests next week, I'll probably get working on the next chapter after next Wednesday - hopefully. In the mean time, I hope you enjoy the first chapter. :3
~MMF
not bad, not much wrong I saw besides you're supposed to have 3 periods when trailing off instead of two, but petty grievances aside nice start.
Seems interesting enough. I'll keep an eye on it...
I loved it. Some of the writing is a little clumsy, but the emotion expressed is superb. In any case it's some Twilestia
1474661 Thanks, fixed.
1475182 I'm glad you found it interesting. :3
1475940 Oh wow, thank you so much. And yea, as I mentioned, this is the first thing I've wrote in a LONG while, excluding school stuff of course, but I hope to improve as the story progresses.
Loved it, can't wait for more
Found some minor issues though
1476159 Would you care to elaborate..? Oh, and glad you liked it, more is one the way. : )
1476201
*Derp!* I meant to put in my last comment asking weather you wanted to handle them right here in the comments or if you perfer a PM?
Seems good :P
More paragraphs, or at least some more line breaks, could have made reading it a little easier, however.
1476257 I'll try to work on it for the future chapters, thanks.
I liked it
It was very much worth a watch and a upvote
1476307 Wow.. I never expected this to get such a positive response so early on, and I gotta say it really makes me want to keep writing. Thank you.
1476351
To be as honest as i can i have to admit i read every Twilestia / Twiluna fic i can get my grubby little hands on.
The image of two lonely souls coming together to fill the hole in each others hearts makes me literally squee with joy
Nice one. When you wrote about your writing ability in the last chapter, I was expecting to find some noticeable errors, but nothing struck me, so you should feel more secure in your writing talent.
There's something about Twilestia that I like, I don't know why. But suddenly, when I was reading this fic, I was thinking about how wrong it is, really. It's one of those authority position no-nos, having a relationship with a student, because it's taking advantage of their ... lol. Not that this thought has anything to do with your fic. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it.
It's terrible, because whenever I find a good shipping Fic, I always complain that I don't normally like shipping fics. But doesn't that technically mean I like shipping fics?
Anyways, I loved it. Twilestia presents it's own problems, but I suppose that's what draws me to shipping, hm? The problems the relationships create, and the good feels. Awesome first try man!
Out of curiosity, why'd you choose Twilestia for your first Fic?
looks good mate, i shall be keeping an eye on this
Well now, this wasn't bad at all. I really enjoyed it! Guess who's fic just got a fave!
1476956 Yeah the first time I came across Twilestia, I was like "lolwut? that's just weird". Then I started thinking a bit, and after a while, read some. They just fit together so well, no matter their positions as mentor and teacher or whatever. I can't help but like it. :3 And thank you, I've been getting such positive feedback that I'm getting more comfortable writing for sure. Yay!
1478121 Yes, the problems.. But overcoming them is what makes it so much better in the end, right? :D And it seems I kinda answered your question. ^
1478647 I'm glad you enjoyed it. :3
1478685 *squee*
that was pretty good, i was expecting loads of small problems, but i didn't find any that interrupted the flow at least.
1479296 Glad to hear that. :)
This is really good, will be waiting for more!
When I clicked on your precursor chapter and read that this was your first story, not to mention that English wasn't your first language, I had mentally prepared myself for a chapter full of glaring errors and mismatched sentences.
However, having now read your opening chapter, I've come to the conclusion that you don't give yourself enough credit.
This chapter was remarkably well written, very well paced, and contained less than a handful of slightly choppy sentences. 
I've seen chapters like this produced by veteran MLP authors! 
Simply put, you're doing yourself a disservice. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_lazy.png You're a far better writer than you realize. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png
I'm favouriting this, and I'm looking forward to more. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png
1481755 Yay! :3
Nevertheless, thank you for the compliments.
1483089 Yes it seems that I did underestimate myself, but I had my doubts at the time. Now I'm just hoping to keep it up.
I have noticed that there is a slight mechanical issue with the flow of the story. I cannot really put my finger on it though, but that is not important.
What is important is what lies underneith. What I found is a wonderful beginning to a story that grabbed my attention from the beginning. The story is always the most important part, and you have done very well there.
I am looking forward to the next chapter, for if the tale you weave continues to be this good, then I know I shall be very pleased to read it.
1486234 Oh wow, the pressure is building up.. :'D I have to admit that I started this project rather unprepared, and therefore the thought I first put in the overall storyline wasn't all that detailed. However, this is something I am working on as best as I can at the moment, seeing that it got a "bit" more attention than I thought. It seems this story and it's future now occupy my mind all the time... xd
1486366 Well I'm happy you read it anyway. Or so it seems. :S
1486540 At times, the best stories happen when you just sit down and do it! Could it be that this is one of those times? I think so
1486568 Okay now I think you're stretching this a bit. :3 Nevertheless, I'll keep giving this my best and we'll see where it leads.