Princess Celestia of Equestria is feeling heavy with sadness and regrets, Cadence's wedding seems to have stirred up the Alicorn's heart and she needs comfort...Luckily our favorite Magic school Student is close at hoof!
[my first posting here, please critique the hell out of it if you want ^^;]
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Cute and Lovely, still feels a slightly bit rushed to me, but thats not so bad. I'm definitely interested in where this is going, so have a Fav. Maybe some Chapters later even a Folow.
But that we will see
Edith: Oh and Thank you for this nice Gift. Pure Romance Stories for this Ship have become quiet rar. So thanks again.
"could have"
good start
>Cracks my neck
Alright, you want some hardcore, maskedwriter critiquing? Well, my review is as follows....
D'AWWWWWWWWW OH GOD THIS IS BETTER THAN ANYTHING I WROTE
I just barely finished the first chapter when the second one got published.
I love when that happens.
Interesting...
*grabs popcorn* Let's see how this develops!
The cuteness is off the charts!
Well, let's see what the next chapter heralds in.
Huh. HOLY MOTHER F@%KING C$CK SUCKING RIM JOB PIECE OF SH#@!
I shed many manly tears. Just so (and this word is very manly) beautiful! I applaud you on this job very well done.
D'aww
very good thanks
Brought a manly tear to my eye
And my chest has warmed with them powerful heartwarming feels you gave me from this chapter.
D'Awwwww! Right at the end...
Politics is a game played by demons,
Who harbor more sins than all the heathens.
It taints innocence,
And leaves hardships.
It eats hesitance
And sinks friendships,
Strangles out all hope,
And leaves only fear.
Binds you without rope
And takes all your tears.
It's a game with no winners
Only played by the sinners.
It is the worst scandal,
Care to take the gamble?
3624260
very very impressive alliteration, I approve.
Also, if you have not yet, check To Love the Moon. by Indigo. He managed to make Politics look dangerous and fun, and it's all BELIEVABLE! don't believe me? go read that thing, it's like 48 chapters and he's not even finished!
Wow, uh I have to say that I had to release some liquid pride while reading this. Very good read.
So it begins
Moar!
And then the story mysteriously died midway through
Twilight's a bit overly shy, I'd say, but ehh.
At least that's what I thought after the first few paragraphs.
Then I thought they are way more distant than my headcanon says. I mean, they hug in the first episode, and pretty casually.
And then she asks her out. That's way too fast. It just doesn't feel like a possible progression.
You also use a lot of ellipsis. Watch out for that. It's a bit much.
In the previous chapter, you had a detailed description of Night Court. Here, however, Day Court seemed to pass by without note. I'm surprised that Twilight accompanying Celestia to court didn't draw any comments. I'm also particularly wondering what Twilight was doing during court, other than listening or staring off into space (or at Celestia).
I do like the depiction of Twilight accompanying Celestia in general, and dragon diplomacy sounds fun.
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-*
Nurse: We lost him Dr.
Dr.House: I can see that no need to state the obvious.
Nurse: mumble-Jerk-mumble
Dr.House: C.O.D/Cuteness Over Dose, must of read something so adorable it caused his heart to explode. Damn ponies will do it to you every time.
Did You mean 4 months cause it's been that long since you last updated.
:
3995853 just assume that twilight would often accompany Celestia to court when she was still living at teh castel full time so seeing her there wouldnt be that big of a surprise
That was very nice, thank you!
Adorable.
3625182 so is this story dead...or what?