Part of the All-American Girl continuity.
For Derpy Hooves, life is never easy. Even as an accomplished scientist and scholar, she still has to contend with a twin sister that hates her, living alone in a tiny town and working a dead-end job, and, of course, her eyes, which causes her to be clumsier in public than she normally is. For her, life sucks.

But now, Derpy has to face a decision that could rock the very foundations of her family, her life and her future. And if that wasn't enough, one of the neighborhood foals, Sparkler, may need her help desperately. And to top it all off, a secret project of hers might just change the world of ponydom forever.

She's got a lot on her hooves. Maybe too much.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 107 )

Well, Derpy's life has become a soap opera, and we're just grinning like idiots along for the ride.

And on the next episode of As the Derp Turns....

Once again, you prove yourself to be an amazing author, Shin. Keep it up!:pinkiehappy:

"You bitch! You always had it out for my husband, and you've revealed yourself!"

"You can't stop us, Ditzy! We're in love, and no amount of tin or mercenaries will change that."

"I'm sorry Derpy, but we can't be together. You see, I'm actually your long lost brother."

"Brother? But how can that be? The tests just came back, and . . . Cinnamon . . . you're a Cylon."

Damn talk about a dilemma.:fluttershyouch:

Of fucking course. Fav'd.

I must say I like where this is going.

Great chapter, and I'm loving it so far! A tale of forbidden romance, you see that alot, really, but never one that actually MEANS something! This, this is perfect... Fav'd liked, and anything else that'll boost this up to the top...

The sad thing about this, is that we already know how this ended.


Maybe you do, maybe you don't. ::trollestia:

So Derpy made an expensive dimension crossing machine so she can watch cable for free? Seems excessive.

Well, unfortunately at this time in their history, Netflix is not available in Equestria.

I think I just realized that the last line out of Derpy's machine is from Matt and Anna.

And all this is before the madness that is humanity!?
Derpy sure lead a crazy life, I would want her to have a happy ending, but...

“No, Mama, I’m not putting on weight. You’re imaging things.”

Is this perhaps supposed to be "imagining things"?


Anyway its like what people say: "Its the journey and no the destination that matters most." At the very least her life is quite the adventure from what we already know and what we are currently seeing.

But we know by Be Human how this will end: Derpy will die and she and Autumn won't be ever together.


Yup I'll get it fixed.


Aw, man, you just spoiled the story for me!

Derpy being awesome. What's not to love.
Ditzy being in regret, and that's very sad.

Well shit that was so awesome!:raritystarry:
She's sure to get commendations and she hasn't even reached Apploosa yet!


On a different note; I want to see the tickled code enacted !:pinkiehappy:

Derpy = Macgyver Hooves!
Ditzy can just
Until she's ready to accept the Love and Tolerance.

OK first things first, Yay new story section. :yay:

Aww, in your universe, Dr. Whooves isn't the Dr. and he doesn't date Derpy. Sad face is Sad.

“We are soooo doomed,” he moaned. I love that line.

About Sparkler. From reading your other stories, I know who she becomes. However, and I noticed this in the last section, the way she talks about her family and their treatment of her are way to overt. To me it's not sending red flags, or maybe somethings wrong, their sending get foal protective services here yesterday and get her out now. That would be fine, if Derpy was going to take her now, but we know she's going to have a baby sister who isn't born yet, so it needs to be way more gradual. For example, a nightmare here and there. Very apologetic if she spills something, or needs to clean something. Continued glances around her to make sure she's not doing anything wrong. A bit of shaking when she meets new ponies, or in new situations. Things that would make Derpy pause and wonder but not yet ready to act on.

Also about Appolusa, the timeline really has me confused. In the series, it was only around for a year when they arrived. However, you have them at least 3 to 5 years, in my mind, before the series starts having them live there. Am I missing something? Or did you change the timeline intentionally.

I'm also confused with a few of the names, like Port Gayoe. I know the joke is that they are all horse related, but this and one or two others don't sound like that. Am I missing something, or is it somehow horse related?

Once again great story.


Okay, a few things:
- Yup no Doctor. Sorry. Then again, you get Derpy as a whole different kind of Doc - Doc Savage type. :yay:

- I did it intentionally. There will be some explanation in the next few chapters. Derpy is just currently aware Sparkler has a bad home, but nothing that she can do to interceded. Plus, there's no proof. Although I'm sure you're already aware of this, the worst is yet to come for her.

- Timeline is about six years before the series.

- Regarding Appaloosa: my pre-readers and I discussed this, and in hindsight they're correct - I should have been a little clearer. At the moment, Appaloosa - or more properly, Fort Appaloosa, is a frontier military fort that has a small civilian settlement within its borders. The Appaloosa (the newly settled down) you see in the series is meant to be the settlement after the fort was decommissioned and law enforcement turned over from the Guard to the local sheriff's department. I'll make that clearer next chapter.

- In the main series, Celestia mentioned that the noble titles are named after regions of Equestria (it was DJ that noted they just happened to match horse breeds). You're getting to see some of those areas now in play. Lake Vanner is the basis for the Dukedom of Vanner (and its current titleholder, Pinkie Pie, Duchess Vanner); likewise the Lusitano River is the bassis for the County of Lusitano (and its current titleholder, Elusive, Count Lusitano.)


OK, maybe I'm extra sensitive about child abuse. I'm a teacher in RL and if I heard comments by children like Sparkler, I'd be reporting it. Like I said before it seems a bit too much too soon. But I enjoy your stories and hope to read more.

For the timeline, is it six years before the television series, or six years before All-American Girl?
If I remember correctly (and I'll go back to check on this in a moment), Shining Armor and Princess Cadence are not married yet?

(I havent read this story yet)

So im guessing Ditzy doo is Derpy's Twin sister?

Ditzy and commitment are two foreign powers in a constant cold war. Derpy ironically is fighting the same problem, though in a different way.

Can't wait for the next installment!:pinkiegasp:

This story.
So much yes.
I seriously can't believe I only JUST found this.
Keep it going.

Now that's a twist :twistnerd: Nice characterization for poor Tiny -- it's supposed to hurt when one of the white hats die...

I definitely want to see where this one's going.

R.I.P. Tiny
We never got to know you.


Man that was a emitional read.:fluttercry:

"And how, pray tell, do you know so much about me? Look, cadet, the "secret" is a secret, but in this universe; I got an eyepatch, I killed my crappy sister, Sparkler has been dead for years, and the Solar and Lunar empires are at war. But still, explain how you know that much, soldier!"


Cus i been watching you, you just never noticed me, I'm a ninja after all

Aaaaaaaand... Cliffhanger!

Out of curiousity, what is a gaur? I tried to Google it but I got a city in India, which I don't think is what you were going for. :twilightsheepish:
Obviously it's supposed to be offensive towards the bison though.

Neat twist at the end there.
Poor Tiny.

Love this story! Can't wait till next chapter:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2:

How the next chapter coming along? ^^


I'm hoping to have it out as soon as possible. Got a lot of things being juggled right now, so it's coming along not as fast as I'd hoped.

Yay, FINALLY!:pinkiehappy:

JK, it wasn't too bad a wait. But glad that you're back! Needed my All-American fix, and rewatching Die Hard while listening to Courtesy of the Red White & Blue with my pet bald eagle wasn't cutting it anymore.

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