• Member Since 9th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 3rd, 2017

Demon Eyes Laharl


Writer. What else do you need to know?

Sequels1

Comments ( 2785 )

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

With two chapters of Iron Colt awaiting proof-reading, I drank five cans of rootbeer, and thought I should make a clop fic.

This . . . fic appeared. :rainbowhuh:

I hope its to your liking. I'll post more chapters once I get into the mood. . . :derpytongue2: Oh god that sounded so weird.

No proof-reader, just me and my fingers. . . :flutterrage: UGH! seriously! I read one clop-fic and now I'm reading things weirdly? :raritydespair: Someone save me!

:scootangel:

I generally don't read HiE stories.
But when it comes to clopfics, ALL RULES ARE OFF!
Looks interesting, will read later.

Quite nice.
Good balance of romantic and erotic.
Much better than most clop-fics that just throw the sex in as soon as possible, you gave a good reason why and a good amount of build-up.

Did cringe a bit at "brown shoes, black coat."
>Wingman, you fool! Never brown with black!


Oh, one more thing.
You got me with the Conversion potion joke. I legitimately froze in horror, but I persevered! And got a bit of a chuckle.

From the description it sounds like there really isn't going to be romance in it, but I will give it a try.

wonderful pacing, good amount of "plot" that could potentially be expanded on or kept as a series of "one shots" cant wait for the next chapter's

1535133
All I do is do things weirdly. (See? Sounds weird.) I like weird. (That's what SHE said.) You did really good. (That is ALSO what she said.) You should look at my stuff. (ALSO sounds weird.) If you think you're weird, you never met me. (Let's think of all the ways this is weird.)

LOVED! PLEASE KEEP MAKING MORE! THIS PLEASES ME!

This is very... different. In a good way. Subscribed.

Not really a real romance, but a good read.

1541355

LMAO!!! :rainbowlaugh:

Oh god, if Harry/Wingman sang that, I have to add Comedy as a tag.

1541408

I'll keep the color scheme in mind.

As for the story pacing, I'll be first to admit I have absolutely no to little experience in writing clopfics and the like. It also shows my taste of the adult variety that I like to have my explicit materials to have some sort of story. Still, I'm going to practice on it. Writing this fic was fun, but I definitely need to read more books/stories from author's better than me.

And speaking of TCB. . . :scootangel: I think its safe to say that putting a very idea-heavy concept like TCB in a clopfic would be a total and utter disaster. :rainbowwild: Though I'm pretty there are people out there who could make it work.

Oh, btw. . .

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

I read the story again, and I cringed at some of the parts. Not having a proof-reader on this will definitely bring down the quality, but thankfully, they were minor mistakes. I corrected a few, and formulated an idea for the next chapter. See you guys soon.

Would love a series. Keep it up. :raritywink::raritywink::moustache:

You sir are a gentleman and a scholar. Keep up the awesome work!

I take it Spitfire has a return call?

Wow. And I do mean wow. I am still catching up with the comments, and I appreciate all your feedback guys.

1541474

Definitely going to for an expanded universe set. My aim for the story was Harry / Wingman going through either background or minor characters. I don't even know if he'll actually meet/talk with the Mane Six. I'm also toying with the idea of showing the more negative aspects of his work, but we'll see.

1541530

lol. Hey sure, I'll take a look at what you got.

1541538

Glad you liked it too. Nice profile pic though. >.> You have a fic to go with that? :pinkiesmile: I'd like to read it.

1541585

Not true-love type of romance, but I'd like to think the Philosophy of G for Ms would make the whole 'transaction' more intimate, hence a bit more romantic than what it really is.

1541820

Spitfire's Returning Gentleman? Hmmm. One day. One day. :pinkiecrazy:

As for every one of you, I'm glad you all liked it. As per my last Author's Notes, yes I'm planning a next chapter. Again, thank you for your feedback.

I don't noramlly read stuff like this. Ya know. Clop. but this intruged me. So, I read it. Besides the fucked up part. The literal fucked up part, I truly enjoyed this read, keep it up! :scootangel:

1541831
Oh, make sure you don't read my nightmare night story with the lights off. And you did wonderful. You are one of the few that can almost rival the abilities of my mentor/editor/only friend. Keep up the good work, I am watching this story for updates. Can't wait for later chapters. Make sure you give him a chance with Luna.

I noticed that it changes from second-person to first-person at the end. Is that intentional and I'm missing something or was that intended?

I don't like clop. Why did I read this? And why did I click the star shaped button as well as the upwards pointing thumb button?

Why?

WHY?

1541881

If Luna goes for him, Harry hit it big. Nothing shouts 'Best in the world' more than having Royalty giving you a call for. . . uh, whatever it is he does for living.

1541891

Um, could you point out where specifically? I thought I had kept everything in First Person perspective.

1541908

Um. . . maybe because it has Spitfire?

:yay: yay?

1541831

Still isn't a real romance. Just "romatic", like you said.
Plus he whole gentleman escort thing is really just the fancy way of saying legal male prostitute. Though the organizations won't admit he prostitute thing.

How is being turned into a pony a joke? I see it as an interesting proposition. Probably not one I would take but still...

4.mshcdn.com/wp-content/gallery/10-top-barack-obama-memes/obama-not-bad.jpg

I'm wondering how this is gonna turn into a romance, I mean, is she gonna keep calling him until
something blooms or what?

1541949
Exactly. I want it. Please do this for me? Just please? I know Luna doesn't get love because of Nightmare Moon so please do this for me and her.

"you gasp as you felt as if all her short hair on her coat was rubbing antagonistically on your sensitive member. “Oh, Spitfire."

Second person error right there.

Other than that, not bad. I liked it for what it was. :eeyup:

1541951 and 1541970

Okay guys, you got me thinking. . . what tags would you guys put, if you read the story so far?

As for High_Wind, Spitfire may call him back, but I wanted to showcase his life, each chapter with a different mare, and how he adapts to each of them.

:rainbowhuh: Wait a minute, would that be considered Slice of Life?!

1541952

Luna actually said the same thing. :rainbowlaugh: In all seriousness though, I threw that out as a meta-joke for the FiM community.

1541982

Once I plan it, I'm going to give you a head's up. Promise. :pinkiehappy:



:twilightsheepish: I can't keep up. The response is overwhelming. I'm going to ignore my notification button, and let the comments roll in before I reply. Thanks guys! :heart:

1542105

I suppose so. Plus there is still the sex tag. All of that, plus he summary ould basically tell any possible reader what is to be expexted from the story.

Interesting comcept. Take a well earned Like and Favorite. :pinkiesmile:

Edit: In your story, you switch from first person to second person quite frequently. Remember to Proof read your chapters before posting them for the world to see. :twilightsmile:

*IN B4 FEATURE! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!*

1542105
Well it all depends on what you want to focus your fic on. If it's just going to be "Wingman" doing his job as a "Gentleman for Hire" than you'd want to drop the romance tag in exchange for a slice of life because that's what it'd be, a story of his life. However, if you want to focus on a building relationship between him and Spitfire (which is what I am personally hoping for) then keep the romance tag and make sure to keep Spitfire involved with him in one way or another. The romance tag says to reader that this story is going to involve him in an actual romance at some point, if you aren't going to put him in one then you shouldn't really use it.

clop....-glances at description- male escorts. -flips a coin to decide and it says go for it- never disobey the coin.


-after reading-

.........
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3r3wpHNdQ1r3xauuo1_500.png

Nah just kidding, but all in all it was actually a decent clop chapter/story(if i read correctly it was you're first try at clop in which case definitely a good chapter)
Agreed with the whole never mix brown and black comment from a while back XD.

Magic 8-ball says to read later. I may finally go against magic 8-ball according to comments though

I'm upvoting this, if for no other reason than a first contact scenario that DOESN'T end in tears. Thank you for not following the tired old trend of humans are bastards.

For something you edited yourself, there are remarkably few errors. I seem to recall a couple, but not offhand, nothing that stood out badly enough that I remember it. The romance sections were well executed, I thought the clop was tastefully done, even if it's not really my bag. I would very much like to see an overarching plot here, because you DO have an interesting protagonist, and there will likely be societal ramifications to this service. Also, you have an awesome setup for a Deuce Bigalow sort of thing, because each of these mares is different and special, and needs to be treated as such.

So in conclusion, thanks for writing this, and I'll be following with interest.

The world building you can create here makes me more interested then the clop stuff. By the way what is the physical differences between the humans and ponies for this story? Spitfire seemed to be quite a bit bigger than the protagonist.

Huh mares get a male human escort this is an interesting idea for a story I like it :D a lot actually so far I like the little tidbits of info concerning an omnivore being with an herbavor species like don't show teeth as an example I'll upvote this and track I hope I see more of this story soon :D

It's better than I expected at first glance. It'll be interesting to see how each mare responds the the novelty that is a human in each chapter. It's always nice to see an adult fic where the human is professional, curteous, and good natured.

1542174 Oh come on, you forgot a pony:yay::twilightsmile::pinkiehappy::raritywink:*faints*

You can do better than that:unsuresweetie:

*comes back*

Okay, I think that was enough time to stir. . . the. . . po-

:rainbowhuh: Did I just get featured? :rainbowderp:

Holy. . .

1542187 and 1542233

I'll put Slice of Life, and may likely remove the Romance tag. We'll see how it goes. Thanks guys for clearing that up.

1542220

Yeah, I'm editing that out as I re-read it. Unfortunately, I don't have a proof-reader for this story, so I'll try to minimize all mistakes made and make sure I read it twice before I post it.

1542298

Yeah, my mistake regarding the black coat and brown shoes. I matched the shoes for the pants, and looking at it now, I can say I goofed.

:heart: ask Princess Molestia. Its more funny than enticing :trollestia:

1542405

Hopefully I can expand and explore life with Earth and Equestria in an alliance. I am also glad you liked the whole 'Humans and ponies can live in harmony' bit. I'm a firm believer of that.

1542497

They are bigger than humans, lengthwise at least. As described, Spitfire's head reaches Harry's chest on all-fours. More specifically, his solar plexus. I thought it was the most appropriate size, considering how they look like in the cartoons. I think I read a parody story on a human getting to Equestria, and seeing them in. . . well, small. I don't think that would have worked out here. . . :twilightsheepish:

1542711

Harry finds out they are just as 'human' as he is. :scootangel:


Anyway, I'm glad I added a little world building. Its not as good as Xenophilia, but I think I got a few people's attentions. Now, I'm going to shout as I finally get a feature.

:yay: Yay, featured.

1542855

I may add it back again. I have no idea how this will end. :fluttershysad: And worse part, taking his line of work, it may all not end well.

1542868
do what you gotta do man
but as for that last part, as they say, adversity only makes the heart grow stronger

1542809
Personally, I think it's a hell of a lot better than Xenophilia. Lots of that story is super awkwardly written IMO.

I think it would be interesting to see how 'Wingman' adapts to Vinyl Scratch and Octavia seperately :ajsmug:.
Perhaps you should focus on mainly background ponies/possibly a few OCs? Doing the Mane 6+Luna/Celestia just seems so...stereotypical and overdone :fluttershysad:. Granted, background ponies such as Vinyl aren't much better in terms of overdone, but still :rainbowwild:

1542902

It has amazing world-building qualities that made it shine, though. I may be biased because that's how I like my stories, but I guess my aim was to write something on the same vein. No, it won't be Xenophelia part 2 (someone already wrote that), but one could find some similarities with that story and this one.

1542990

You'll be happy to know I won't be touching the Mane Six for a while. I may dabble on it, but my primary focus was background characters and others. Some are overdone, but I'd like to see how it goes.

Pretty good. I think I know what to do when a portal to Equestria is opened. Few years later, yeah I can see this going down.

Good, good. The tone and pace seems very akin to this wonderful picture:

http://wraith11.deviantart.com/art/Pony-People-277916106

I don't know why, but I suddenly had a line akin to something Borat would say pop into my head...
"Wingman is number one escort, in all of Equestria!"
:rainbowlaugh:

A little fucked up since we're talking human X pony but otherwise:

denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2864-sfdsg.png

denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2569-a2248720-6beb-4b3f-9eaa-a215769c0c11.png

OK. I didn't since I don't clop. You get the message...

Yeah.

I always use images to help convey my thoughts. :trollestia:

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