• Member Since 9th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 3rd, 2017

Demon Eyes Laharl


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When Equestria accidentally opened a portal to another world, they discovered a new species: humans. Their arrival changed the world. For the Equestrian Ponies, it heralded a great cultural and technological jump needed from their stagnating way of life. For the Gryphons, however, they represented something baser: an opportunity to increase food stock and finally have a 'friendlier' predator species to ally themselves with.

For Gilda, one of the the humans was Ancestor-sent, a soul she would protect for bringing much joy to her life. And when a chain of events force her to accompany her human to Equestria, she recalls the circumstances of their meeting, the trials they pass through, the friendship forged through fire, and love born out of understanding under the harsh skies of the Kingdom.

This is her story.

"You are mine!"

~ Grizelda Behertz


Story set in The Gentlemanverse.

The Equestrian Critics Society gave this story the initial score of 8.5/10. (Full Review)

A one-shot story of the history of the Gryphon Kingdom can be found here.

OtterMatt's WRITE Review. Score: :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiesmile:

Added to Canterlot's Finest

Chapters (21)
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Comments ( 1972 )

1856169

Thanks. And congrats, :pinkiehappy: first post!

I'm liking this so far. More please.

1856242

Yup. Next chapter will deal with their meeting and some insights on the Gryphon Kingdom and some of its cultures. God, I hope I don't mess it up, :rainbowlaugh:

Magnificent! :pinkiehappy:

1856300

^_^ Thank you.


1856302

Well, not really, but I try.


I'm glad you guys are liking this so far. :twilightsmile:

Normally, I'm not the one for human-x-pony romances but this is good, very good.

I expect more from this story, but take your time, I certainly don't want to see a rushed out chapter.

1856923

Yeah, working out a few kink.... *looks around for Starmans Ghost* .... narrative kinks. Have to finally get the feel of the Gryphon Kingdom right, make them stand out from Equestrian Kingdom. :twilightsheepish:

1856999
Well, if it could give ideas i mostly picture the Gryphon Kingdom as something like Skyrim.
Anyway, I will deffinitly read this later, and give a proper review.

1857012

I'll eagerly await then. Enjoy. :twilightsmile:

1857015
This was a very nice way o begin his story. At least in my opinion. Really liked the romantic moments in here. Plus extra points for the romance being with Gilda. She really needs to be used more with these type of stories.
On that note, I am looking forward to the rest of the story. World building is always a fun thing to read, but others only tend to focus on Equestria, and not the other races/countries. It will be fun to read about the gryphons.

Good luck with all of your endeavors.

Yeah, yeah, this is what I like. Finally some Gilda-tastic romance.
She's always so pleasantly feisty.

I am most definitely looking forward to reading the rest of this.

1857200

World building is always a fun thing to read, but others only tend to focus on Equestria, and not the other races/countries. It will be fun to read about the gryphons.

Exactly! Its usually always about Equestria. I mean, its understandable, but I don't see a lot of stories building the Gryphon Society. Sometimes, even the Gryphons act like a much more aggressive Ponies, which I find odd. They are half-eagle-half-lions for goodness sake. Where's the raw intensity? :rainbowwild:

As for Gilda... I kinda feel bad for her. :rainbowhuh: She won't even make a return in Season 3.

1857209

Working on it as we speak. I've buffered myself with extra G4M and Iron Colt chapters, so I can work with this without those stories hanging on my head yet. :pinkiehappy:

1857233
We don't see world building on any of the other races at all really. Which is kinda sad. There is so much to work with. True, there are some stories that are building on the changelings, but what about the others. Instead of the diamond dogs being idiotic slave mongers , as a lot of authors have them be, they could have great underground cities with a greater enginering prowess then the equestrians. The minotaurs could have societies like that of the ancient greeks, and romans. The dragons, which could very well be the most ancient of the races, could be split into to factions, the ones shown in the show who are more nomadic, solitary, and wild, and another that is more magic oriented and have there own great cities. And each race could have its own mannerism, culter, beliefs. So much to work with. So I am really looking forword to hwo you ahndle he gryphons.
Is that true? That is kinda sad. Trixie got to redeem herself. Kinda messed up that they won't allow Gilda the same chance.

1857317

So I am really looking forward to how you handle the gryphons.

So far, I'm building them to be a warrior race. They place importance in regards to practical technology, whether its weapons, food, or tools to help them with everyday life. As of now, they are a bit dependent on magical items for a lot of things (the firegems being an example), but without a big enough number of unicorns (griffin mages exist, but in small numbers), these tools are expensive to be made locally and are mostly imported from Equestria.

Is that true? That is kinda sad. Trixie got to redeem herself. Kinda messed up that they won't allow Gilda the same chance.

Yeah, so far no news about Gilda. .... and with news regarding Discord... :facehoof: yeah, I'm not spoiling that.

1857363
That does sound right for the gryphons.
Yeah, I already know about that episode. Homestly, that is one that I am not looking forward to. Especially the aftermath of it. People are going to use that episode to justify those horrible ships with him. Nothing against the character, but man I can't stand shippings with him. It is like shipping Kefka with Terra, or Serpheroth with Aerith.

1857413

:facehoof: Why can't he just be that cool kooky old guy? I'm all for love and everything, but Discord....? Maybe if they use a character from another fandom.




Alright guys. So far, 100 percent approval, 50 plus likes in less than a day. Not bad. Thanks for all the faves and support. Good night!

1857459
Because all it took was one guy having the horrible idea to make a crack shipping him with Celestia, which for some odd reason gained popularity, and it just blew way out of proportion from there.

Well you have already made good works before, and this so far is no exception. So it is not surprising if the story is well recieved.

Good night, and good luck with all of your endeavors.

fantastic

followin'

I do see relations starting off smoother with griffons than with ponies, except that all griffons fly while 1/3 of ponies does. The meat diet, products of rougher environment without magic. Another draw is while we aren't physically imposing as them, we have a older, longer recorded history.

We are quite a sympathetic barbarian. Harmony is what humans yearn for most, but we never get our ideas far beyond paper without ill turns and consequences. We have quite the tendency to harm instead, yet quilt keeps that in check and spend often the rest of lives regretting or rebuilding.

So while the ponies call the devices of mankind 'blood-technology' I believe humans are for the most part are taking responsibility in this new frontier. They supply the griffons with materials and gadgets that they never dreamed of, but will need to be taught restraint from the humans and their history.

At first their attitude would make them think they have the advantage finally and be in excess over everything and feel in control, but to humans that would be the irrational thought that is history repeating itself and they wouldn't want to ruin this paradise with the blood on their hands again as usual.

So one draw that prevents immediate praise from all griffons is that while humans most relate to them they still hold Equestria as an ideal civilization that their ancestors would died for. Something infuriating:twilightangry2: to the griffons who are second-class, but would come to understand.

Hope his comments of 'affectionate, polygamy ponies' mean more than just words to intimidate Gilda, rather he has the real respect for ponykind and to possibly being Gilda's guide to help her reconcile with them.

I find the humans, if I'm predicting your world building correctly, to being the bridge species for all species. Next you ought to do Minotaurs.:duck:

1858114

Thank you kindly. :pinkiehappy:


1859817

You win the longest post award. Have a Mac. :eeyup:

I can't answer most points, but I'm pretty sure weapon trading is illegal in Equestria. Heck, the reason why Gilda and her mate travel to Canterlot (passing by Ponyville in turn) is to secure trade routes for the herds of cow. They need Equestrian Authority to even begin. Its that kind of thing that will color a lot of perceptions for Griffins in regards to the ponies. Granted, looking at the big picture, humanity and ponies are actually quite lucky to meet each other.

What I haven't seen so far is someone twist the concept of the Gentlemanverse. What if it was the humans that punched through space-time, and landed in the Gryphon Kingdom? Or anywhere else for the matter? Peaceful resolutions? War at First Contact?


As for Marco's little teasing, who knows. He could have just wanted to rile her up, knowing that doing so they'll have 'preening' time later, or he could actually be trying to help her reconcile the fact that they are almost at the town where Gilda had lost one of her friends.

wait how did they get together and is he actually her pet or is that a 'pet' name
but cool story bro, needs more dragons

1860617

That's what the next chapter explores... or at least, how they meet. And yes, 'Pet' is her pet name for him. Same with 'Gilds'.

And no comment about the dragons. I still haven't thought on how far I can go with the world-building. :twilightblush:

Turned out pretty well

1857459
1857491

It comes about because of the sheer enmity shown by Celestia during the S2 opener- people wonder about that, and some of them prefer the lover's betrayal option, as opposed to her simply being ticked that he was harassing "her" little ponies. It makes a certain amount of sense that some would prefer this for the added drama, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and all that. Doubly so given that they are both immortals, and the fact it would fit in nicely with some of the old world mythology used by the show. It can be crack, yes, but it also can be a legitimate historical pairing.

1862757
So basically what you are saying is that some are seeing animosity for a deranged, dangerous being that needs to be stoped as a lovers quarrel. I am sorry if you are a fan of that shipping, but that is preety dumb. But like in that South Park episode people will look for hidden meanings in anything, even when non exist. Plus there are still some that ship Cosmos, with Chaos, even though he is technically her son.

Finally! A well written Human/Gilda fic! There really isn't to many of them.

That aside, love how jealous and possesive Gilda is, and that she made it VERY clear that she would never ever share her mate, there are to many harem MLP fics here for my taste.

1862441

lol, thanks to you and coandco. Yeah, he kinda looked at it too. If you read it, it's a little different from how we finished.


1862757

I guess it will always come down to interpretation. I personally am not convinced on the pairing.


1862978

I thought following the usual practices of Ponies set in this verse wasn't going to cut it. Griffins and Ponies... they are pretty much different from each other. Why not culture practices as well? It also gives a semi-good explanation why Gilda acted the way she did in her episode.

Next chapter opening shows how different they are. Or at least, I'm hoping that's how it'll go.


1863318

Well, compared to the Griffins, human beings pretty much are weaker. But that's to say human beings are weaker than lions or bears. Physical differences didn't really fully decide how we spread out in this world. I'm hoping to show that a bit more of with Marco in the next chapter. It was definitely something that caught Gilda's attention.




Woohoo! 99 likes, 129 faves. Thanks for the support on this guys. Much appreciated. :pinkiehappy:

Interesting idea, nicely executed as well.
Fav and tumb up.

1868058

Thank you. :pinkiehappy:




Okay, everyone, the second chapter is... well, a doozy. Its not yet done, but its one big flashback. I'm a little iffy about it all honestly, but hopefully my proofreaders will tell me where screwed up. :rainbowwild:

DF

Promising beginning, I'll give you that. I'll definitely be paying attention to this in the future.

I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, so just keep up the good work. Well begun is half done.

1872829

Thanks. I'll try not disappoint. xD Damn, just repeating myself aren't I?

1863465
Well ya a human would be weaker, but you have to remember birds have hollow dense bones and lions are are good at short distance speed bursts, but run out of energy quickly. Not sure how you want to portray a magical mythical creature, but have fun. Also bald eagles generally have a single mate for life (barring death).
This seems interesting so far, keep it up.

1878864

True. But my point still stands. Pound for pound, humans aren't that strong against Griffins. Hell, not even canon ponies. We evolved by spreading out everywhere and sharpening stones to stab the stronger bastards. :rainbowlaugh: We are the picturesque pragmatists.

1878918
Pony strength on the show varies from pulling a house with ease to can't walk across town carrying this cake so heavy. They are beasts of burden. We do got them on one thing...none of them can swim that well.

1879557

Really? Was it shown in the show about their swimming habits? I can't recall... :twilightblush:

1879571
The only time we've seen any pony in water was Sleeping in Ponyville episode and that scene is a little inconclusive. RD can apparently cut tree trunks with other tree trunks, and she really didn't swim so much as dived like a bird. IRL horses kind of dog paddle in their own way. Lions are kind of the same. Birds don't really swim I don't think.

1881434

I think its fun that we can explore what they can or cannot do, and give explanations to what we present. For example, since Griffins and Ponies show that they have more than flexible legs, its not that impossible to think they can't swim. I guess, as always, its about interpretation.

As for the RD scene, it bothers me. Its a blatant disregard to physics, so I'll probably have to come up with a alternative explanation for that. Someone mentioned it could just be Scootaloo's eyes playing tricks on her (as RD is her idol), or RD pre-cut the trunks, and kicked them out for an explosive performance. Of course, the latter doesn't explain why the trees don't just topple over. xD

1881462
or you know just explode into a million pieces of wood chips.
The ponies having more flexible legs should actually make them weaker than a normal pony technically. That is just another part of being in a cartoon.

1881626

Or its magic. :pinkiehappy: Granted, that's really a cop-out answer :derpytongue2:

ERMAGERD. Side story!

1884685

Yup. I wanted to build the Griffin world, and explore how different it is to love a griffin instead of a pony. Prologue chapter introduces the present setting, and then it goes backwards, from when the two meet, the places in the Griffin Kingdom, and how they came to be. :rainbowlaugh:

1884719 Well ya picked a hell of a griffon to start with. Gilda's quite the... character...

Ya ever read Banishment Decree? It's not mine but its prob my hooves-down favorite, and it pretty much built my headcanon for griffons.

1884741

Um, still going through it. I like it so far. ^_^

Griffins here... are a bit different. Definitely warrior race. Don't want to spoil a lot, so I'm hoping you'll enjoy what I have in plan. :twilightsheepish:

Finaly! Gilda romance! Hope the bring her back in the show in the future.

As soon as I saw the name I knew that this piece would not disappoint and I am happy to say that I was not in any way disappointed with this fic your description and story telling skills drew me in instantly.

p.s thanks again for the tips:raritystarry:

1888122

Yeah, me too. So many things left unsettled. Trixie had a chance, but Gilda? :rainbowwild:

1888533

Thanks. And no problem. ^_^

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