Nice to see an entry by one of the judges

11809288
11809291
Yeah, she's a bit... odd. lol. I actually loved fleshing out this version of her character because it's... well... problematic.

11809295
Wait, I'm a judge? When did that happen? lol. I better tell Shakes!

11809298
When you said it was a non-entry I assumed that's what you meant

11809317
She did say she was as romantically inclined as a duck...

11809307 You know it!

11809316
The two of you are as pure as freshly fallen snow.

They’re all a hot mess and I love them for it.

11809571
I know, right? Thanks for the comment!
(Gotta work on the NSFW clop side story (They're a little fucked up.) now. lol.)

11809634
Excellent

I am glad I finished, but this was super painful and jeeze... nausea

That said, that your work brought that feeling out and the same conclusions were brought up, I can happily say that this was fairly well thought out.

Also the nausea you brought me is a further marker of that.

Good Job

11810192
That'll teach me not to read the desscription by pressing the +more button

Well...
I just want to state I read this story expecting purely Comedy. Thinking Oh a comedy porn? Eh not a fan of the porn, but comedy on the incest? Should be interesting!
Then BAM!
Emotion.
This is the sort of story I love. Contemplation on the forbidden. On what is right, and what is wrong. The vibe that even the character doesn't know what to do, only that they care for their loved ones. And done even greater, knowing the mind of Shining is in a mess, without ever stating it.

Absolutely wonderful.

11810192
Oof. Sorry! I added the content warnings under trigger warnings. It's always a balance of "How much do I spoil the story for those that want to be left in suspense" vs "How much do I sign to folks that it has content they don't want to see". I've messed up and been on both ends of the spectrum with some of my stories having descriptions that basically say "Don't read this." and other's being probably too much "bait and switch". I thought this was as clear as I could get without spoiling by emphasizing in all caps letters that it's incest and heart-break themes, and then explicitly stating NTR in the spoiler tags. I don't think I would have modified the unspoilered text, but would changes to the spoilered text have helped? I definitely don't want people reading this that don't want to. Thanks for leaving your thoughts as you read it!

11810245
Thanks! Glad you liked it. Don't worry, all parties are a mess (to include Shining). I wish I could have worked in more comedy in the middle. There's a few places that clearly have more comedy thought than others, but maybe having the comedy interspersed with the other stuff helps. Hmm... I appreciate the comment, and now I have something to mull over. Thank you!

11809863
Don't worry. I aim to disappoint. lol.

11810312
No it was my fault for not reading the full description. You did super good work, it is stuck in my head and it set out to do what it was supposed to. That is a talent. I can respect that.

11810703
Thanks!

11810708
Sorry, I did not see the chap #

Okay, finished this up. Another excellent, fucked-up fic that makes quite a bit of sense considering the characters. Just brilliant.

Would love a sequel, or a version from Twilights persepctive, or BOTH. This'd make a great series.

11812693
Got a pornographic side story from Twiight's Perspective that fills in some of the holes. Gotta finish it...

Okay, I've finally read the whole thing and I like it. But I'm still waiting on the sequel to Velvet and Me, Tailsopony. I'm willing to help you edit the story but I need that sequel.

Finally read it, I did enjoy it a lot even if there wasn't actually really any incest scene, I thought the Shining's thoughts and reflections on incest and infidelity was very nice.

Yup, this is still in my head.

Dude thats a fairly neat thing for an author to do to me.

11821790
Oh man I think that is what has me hung up, and their parents reaction to Twilight once they find out, I find myself agreeing with them.

11809295
Challenge accepted, BTW. lol.

And of course there will be no consequences for Twilight at all.

11828349
Out of pure curiosity, what kind of consequences for Twilight would you like to see? Shining Armor doesn't feel like she's done anything "wrong" and he's not in a position to punish her anyways. The only consequences she's got are natural consequences. Her relationship with Shining is... not exactly where she wants it to be, and family dinners moving forward are going to be a hell of a lot more awkward. We also don't know exactly how Cadance is going to react to their situation. Shining is very explicitly not the kind of character who's going to shut her out forever or anything, his family is his #1. Even if they're all.... ducks.

I'm curious what a "consequence" for Twilight would be as you imagine it. Thanks for the comment! It's something for me to think about.

11828360
she straight up admitted into manipulating him into doing something he did not want.
then to fucking both their parents as soon as he started to come around just because..
why exactly? because the immortal alicorn got impatient and did not care about who
was going to dick her down and went from "i want a loving relationship with my friend"
to "yes, i let them beat me senseless because i can heal from it and i belong to him and
he will knock me up and not allow anybody else to touch me"?
And then she cries . . what . . less than 5 minutes after having been kicked out by them
and he is more or less okay with everything that happened and takes her straight home
so she can perhaps ruin his family too?
Cadence does not seem to mind who he bangs on the side, so i do not see there being
much of a resistance from her either.
Flurry appearantly does not care about her father at all any more because she is a moody
teenager who will never find out that her father, mother and aunt are trying to make a
potentially genetically damaged half sibling for her?

11828487
While that's certainly one way to interpret and summarize Twilight's actions (along with some thoughts on Cadance and Flurry), the only consequence I can glean from your comment is the potential for inbred children.

Did you have something more specific in mind as to consequences? Twilight here is not a "good" character, there's no denying that, but I'm still not sure what consequences you are looking for. I'm specifically curious if there are any logical "consequences" that would have made this a better story from the perspective of an author, but I'm also just curiously interested in any that you had in mind.

11828538
shining not being a doormat and telling her flat out:"do not come near me or my family" for example.
then telling cadance and making sure she does not try to circumnavigate that somehow.

11828550
One of the draft ideas ended very similar to that, basically at the end of the chapter where he meets the other guard and turns her down. It really didn't fit the character and would have required a big rework in Shining's motivations and concerns throughout the story. It wasn't a proper ending, and left a lot missing.

I actually like this ending a bit more. He's not a doormat. He sets boundaries that work for him, and isn't letting her "start over". It's a not so subtle way of saying that he's never going to forget this even if they mend up somehow. She is his family, so telling her not to come near his family doesn't make any sense from his perspective at all. He's trying to help her as much as he's trying to take care of the rest of his family.

I understand wanting "punishment" to happen to Twilight from a reader's perspective, but I try to make stories make sense with the characters in them and Shining doesn't want to "punish" her, nor does he even want to push her away. Which is why I'm interested in consequences instead of punishment. I do feel like this story could have more consequences.

11812715
This was a great read, eagerly looking forward to the side story for that alternate perspective! Keep it up!

I really enjoyed this. I was expecting a more simple story with shining eventually fucking Twilight at the end but I was pleasantly surprised by Twilight's decision-making and how that changed the trajectory of the story entirely. Also a nice conclusion. Also on a more meta note, the short introspective chapters peppered in between the longer more meaty chapters gave a great pacing to the overall story. Well done, as always.