• Member Since 30th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Darkentrophy


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Source

Life as a goddess is no simple matter, as Luna has discovered during her first few years in Canterlot. With her waking hours dedicated to winning Equestria's trust, Luna finds little time to enjoy life. As Celestia begins to worry about her sister's near-fanatical devotion, she hatches a plan to give—and take—her time off.

Luna is going to learn what being a "little" sister means, whether she wants to or not.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 160 )

This is off to an interesting start. So far, though, that's really all we've got. The first chapter feels like it was just setup for Luna's regression and Celestia's little week of fun.

However, I am intrigued by just where this story is going, and can't wait to read more.

1390535
I shall try to capitalize on said "interesting start". I hope you enjoy the story!

I'm interested. Watching with bated breath to see how this all turns out.

This is going to be so funny.

I wonder if this will be featured?

I shall inb4 on the side of caution.

Good story, faved and thumbed.

1392205
Fine by me. Just make sure your bated breath doesn't fog up the display's window ^_^

1392213
Or it will be a bitter tragedy and you will cry buckets. Buckets and buckets of tears, and they shall sustain me for all of the eternity.

1392401
Unlikely, but it's always nice to hope, eh? If you'd like to give it a chance at going on the featured bar, make sure to recommend the story to your friends!

Thanks for the support!

A choir of cherubs ? I think it's more like some imps in disguise.:trollestia:
Let's wait and see where this will lead (hopefully to funny and d'awww-ing situations).

And we thought the full sized Celestia was a handful :rainbowwild:
I'm looking forward to more, there is promise behind this I can tell :ajsmug:

Lets see... AR of Luna not done as a prank but simply as a way to get her to take a week off... hmmm not Trollestia which is a good thing I'll have to see how this goes

1394617
Imps have terrible baritones, though.
That's the idea!

1394812
More like a hoof-full amirite?
Thanks! I look forward to delivering on that count.

1394936
Ohh, it's not plain old trollestia, but rest assured she has some plans in store for Luna...

1395367
As long as Luna gets a laugh out of this and not just Celestia then it's not Trollestia. Sisterly bonding is always enjoyable

1395396
Oh, yes, have no fear of that. They'll definitely be getting some bonding time. D'aww all up in this hizzle.

UPDATE FASTER!!!

1395534
"I'm updatin' as fast as I can, cap'n! Any more and she'll go critical! The only way to keep the reactors running is to pump Thumb-Ups into the coolant system!"

1395367
Hoof-full, dang it. I keep missing those :unsuresweetie:

1395573
Bad puns for everyone!
Or should I say, everypony!

I'm wondering where this is going to go...

In response to your comment (I can't comment on my own user page anymore for some reason:twilightoops:) It's an interesting read, but I don't give out like or watches before I've read a story to completion.

1395742
It's going to go into the very depths of Tartarus to a happy and magical place filled with sunshine and smiles!

Understandable. I'll have to work to earn it then.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/190/829/131933146075.jpg

1395764
Seeing two goddesses tackle the depths of Tartarus as a holiday would be totally awesome very interesting indeed.

1395769
Who knows, maybe a visit to burning, sulphuric warm and cozy Tartarus is one of Celestia's planned stops?

"Eh, screw the griffon clans! They can write their own damn treatise."

Does Celestia know how annoying babies generally are? I say she tires of the whole situation in three hours, and begins hunting for used Yo Gabba Gabba tapes.

1395788

Exactly! and a brief stop on the moon, inside the realm of dreams, and of course, no holiday is complete without going to see Twilight and reducing her to a nervous wreck. :twilightsmile:

1395851
Oh, Luna isn't mentally regressed too, her stature has just been... reduced. Brace yourselves: The Royal Canterlot Pout is coming.

1395856
Why bring her to Twilight when you can bring Twilight to her? I've heard Twilight has been reading books on how to foalsit lately...

1395880

A yes, and a meeting with the Twins is also in the works... this should be good

Bring on Princess Woona! :heart:

1395891
The twins? Perhaps. They only multiply the factor of enjoyment by 150%, though.

1396502
Say please~

1397435
Please! Please! Pwease! With sugar on top! and Sprinkles!
FimFIc needs the cutest thing in all of Equestria! :yay:

It is really interesting.
Fav and tumb-up
A bit like the reverse version of My Little Alicorn. (But different style)

GJ!

1400623
Thanks!

I started this before My Little Alicorn was made and only just got around to re-writing it for posting, but I am a fan of Insert Author Here's work, too.

Wow.
When demigoddesses want you to take a break they sure do not mess around.

This is an interesting premise (I admit I am a big sucker for SOL stories with Celestia and Luna).
I cannot wait to see where you take this.

1401577
What's the point of having all of that power if you don't abuse it from time to time?

I do try to be somewhat original in my stories, so thank you.

I can't wait to see where I take it, either!

:scootangel:this story is awesome, its very well written, and i can't wait till the next chapter. SQUEE!!!! you rock

1402553
Thanks! I hope to have it done soon.

1400822
Thank you for your response. :D

No offense.
I just want to say that your starting chapter is as interesting as MLA. :D
And this turn, Celestia turns her stubborn sister Luna into a lovely little filly.
I can't wait for the following chapters.
I always love the interactions and comedies between the best Royal Sisters.

1403831
I said I would respond, did I not?

I shall take it as a compliment ^_^

Oh, Luna is still going to be stubborn, make no mistake.

And I can't wait to write them!

Yes, there's so much chemistry between them, mostly the reactive and explosive kind.

I'm waiting until Luna pours some of the stuff into Celestia's drink. :trollestia:

Who would be in charge until they changed back, do you think?

1406604
Look through the comments to find your answer ;p

I don't know. Somehow, I find the Celestia being quite a bit, well, controlling here. I mean, Luna told her flat-out that "thank you, but not now" to her idea of a vacation. Even asking Celestia to respect this.

But then Celestia goes around and FORCES Luna to take a brake. It just doesn't look like a good idea, I mean, what will happen once Luna is restored? She'll be angry at Celestia and their relationship may even deteriorate rather than improve.

The alternative to this would be Celestia waiting a year. She is immortal, so she could easily afford it.

1411622
Intervention: Care provided to improve a situation (especially medical procedures or applications that are intended to relieve illness or injury)
Celestia is worried about Luna's state. I suppose I should have put more emphasis on it, but Luna's something of a workaholic in this.

Luna's just younger in body; she still has the mind of a several-thousand year-old deity. Don't worry, I intend to have a realistic curve to her feelings about the experience as the story progresses.

Do you know how hard it is to organize a vacation when you're the ruling regent? That stuff takes, like, six months of planning in advance! No way Celestia is going to let it go to waste. Besides, she's waited a thousand and some years to finally have a proper timespan to bond with her sister. Can't blame her for being a little impatient.

"Intervention: Care provided to improve a situation (especially medical procedures or applications that are intended to relieve illness or injury)"

Yes, but interventions are there when the subject is beyond his or her own control. Such as drug addicts or people suffering from mental conditions (depression).

Here, all you've shown is that Luna still wants to be accepted for who she is as well as to adjust to the new age she finds herself in. That doesn't say "she can't control herself" to me or "she is overworking herself to her own detriment". That is when an intervention would be necessary. As it is, Celestia's action seem unnecessarily drastic.

At least, have Celestia argue back that none of her duties are in dire need of her attention. For example, have her mention that the griffon-clan treaty can wait a week for more data on something or be delegated to a diplomat (that's what they are for, after all). Also, have Celestia mention that Luna's desire to be accepted by the populace as a whole is either unnecessary (she is already accepted) or is something that she won't change under a week or a month (ergo, a week worth's of vacation is something that she can more than afford). Furthermore, if anything, the populace noting that she is spending time with her already well-accepted elder sister would be comforting.

So, overall, my problem is just that Celestia seems to be unnecessarily drastic. I would expect more steps in terms of escalation of getting Luna to have a vacation, like more heated arguments or Luna going crazy or doing a mild trick to get Luna's. As it is, I kind of see Celestia setting herself up for a nasty argument with Luna for changing Luna's body without her permission. That is a bit big violation of privacy.

1412914
My, I certainly wasn't expecting to get a deconstructionist this early in the game, especially on a site as notorious as FimFiction for not batting an eye at the most egregious cases of Suspension of Disbelief. Believe me, I am more than welcoming for such criticism (and, as stated, am pleasantly surprised in finding it so early).

You raise excellent points and, even better, a solution for my problems. I've been wondering about the story myself; for example, when it received the OK for publishing, I gave it another read-through and realized it was somewhat talking-heads-ish. I intend to send this to EqD, so fixing that is an obvious must and, I do believe, I'll be putting in some more dialogue and exposition as to how much Luna has been working herself of the past few years as well.

Don't worry about there not being any sparks between them; Luna is going to be quite livid at first and I fully intend to give good reasons for her coming to accept Celestia's impromptu "vacation". Still, one must remember that the story's main purpose is to inflict a terminal case of the d'awws with a side of laughing, so don't expect anything too cerebral.

1413491
>"My, I certainly wasn't expecting to get a deconstructionist this early in the game,"

What? All I am doing is talking about your fic, what problem I have with it and how (I, at least) would go around fixing it (again, how I imagine I would fix it, not necessarily how you should fix it).

> s FimFiction for not batting an eye at the most egregious cases of Suspension of Disbelief.

The thing about Suspension of Disbelief is that I would liken it (from the top of my head) to a seat belt during a rollercoaster ride: if you are aware of it during the ride, something is wrong. Stories create their own logic, but these must be at least somewhat apparent to the viewer.

> I've been wondering about the story myself; for example, when it received the OK for publishing,

Fimfiction staff only make sure that the story is about ponies to begin with, actually a story and has the appropriate tags as well as not a repost of an already posted story. The approval process does not involve quality control. You'll have to do that yourself, I'm afraid, that's just how it works. I wouldn't say it is "publishing" your story either, that's what magazines and such do. Out of curiosity, are you new to writing fanfiction?

>I gave it another read-through and realized it was somewhat talking-heads-ish. I intend to send this to EqD, so fixing that is an obvious must and, I do believe, I'll be putting in some more dialogue and exposition as to how much Luna has been working herself of the past few years as well.

I'd advice getting an editor, or at least a second pair of eyes that can give another perspective of what you've written. It can improve a story tremendously. There is a group here on fimfiction (if you are unfamiliar with the process, there is a rather amusing mod post about this here: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/25435 ). You are sure to find, sooner or later, someone to help you improve your story. I too would be happy to, but I don't think I am a skilled-enough editor to truly help that much.

> Luna is going to be quite livid at first and I fully intend to give good reasons for her coming to accept Celestia's impromptu "vacation".

I actually take that in your interpretation of their characters, you imagine them doing stuff like this to each other all the time. So, I don't expect her to be murderous about it, just really angry and rightfully so. I would guess that in the next chapter, they will fight a bit and argue, and eventually make up. Though, I'm sort of expecting that Celestia will have to find a way to "make up" for what she did. :pinkiehappy:

> Still, one must remember that the story's main purpose is to inflict a terminal case of the d'awws with a side of laughing, so don't expect anything too cerebral.

I'm looking forward to those. :twilightsmile:

1414375
Take it as a compliment. You're analyzing things that are wrong with the story and taking them out to show why they're that way. Ergo, deconstructing. It's a valuable skill to have.

A good analogy. Afraid I don't have much more to add to that.

Oh, I know all about that. It was just the change in mindset, the knowledge that people would be looking at it soon causing me to become more analytical about my work and realize a problem it had.
Believe me, I know all about finding reviewers and editors. You're talking to a /fic/-ster, here. And please, if you see something you feel needs improving, I'm all ears.

Yes, it is based a little off of the fanon of them being minor tricksters in their own right; both have canon examples of playing a prank on their subjects, after all.
That's pretty much what's going to happen. Making up will take some convincing on Celestia's part, though.

I shall try to deliver ^_^

Probably one of the cutest fics I've read to date :)

Can't wait for the next chapter

1432901
Thank you!
Was there anything you particularly enjoyed or disliked?

1433137

I personally like how you wrote the character of Celestia. Mischievous Tia is best Tia :P

Luna's character was also very well portrayed, great work ;)

1433270
Thanks! I hope to continue with that level of quality.

1433417

Trust me, it won't be hard for you ;)
Keep it up!

Oh my gosh! I cant wait for this epic turn of events :rainbowkiss:

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