• Member Since 11th Mar, 2012
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Prowling with preposterous pretentiousness we permit petting of precious ponies


After a few days of suffering from bedwetting and a visit to the doctor, Babs Seed finds herself staring at a package on her bed and tries to figure out whether worse things have happened to her.

Worse things probably have happened, but drama is always a good thing, right?

Coverart by: surzb

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 8 )

Well I'll be. A padded Babs Seed story, You've certainly got points for originality. Not to mention Babs is my favorite crusader. :twilightsmile:

The feeling of uncertainty is captured quite well here, as is Babs conflicting feelings. All in all you probably define quite well what people with this sort of intrest feel. :pinkiehappy:

Quite good. A short story that, despite largely taking place in a single room establishes a far larger scope through Bab's thoughts about her friends and parents. The writing and style was, for the most part, strong, although you had scattered errors in the form of tensing issues and awkward phrasing. A few examples:

After that she went to the kitchen, avoiding the spots where syrup was spread across the floor as good as she could and went for a glass of milk.

>as good as she could
You mean "as well as she could".

Thereafter she returned to her diaper and spend another two minutes awkwardly shuffling the thing around like she would have needed a thirty page manual to understand the concepts behind.

>and spend
You're looking for "spent" here.

Overall, an enjoyable fifteen minutes of reading. Do you have any intention of continuing this?

3476964 Most likely not. I'm pretty sure the author intends for this to be a oneshot and little more.

There's not enough padded babs, srsly.

I tried to play it less serious than Twilight in Nightbook, but it's still honest. Truthfully, I enjoyed writing this situation way too much due to Bab's life being so over the top and also due to it being a one-shot.

I normally suck at these things. :eeyup:
Ah, grammar mistakes, what would a fic of mine be without them. I'll look over the fic tomorrow and try to fix everything I'll find. As always, thanks for pointing these out.

As for any sort of sequel. . .

I don't actually know whether I'll let this stay as a one-shot. I mean, I actually thought a lot about the CMC in Manehatten and what kinds of stuff I could do with them. If I did a sequel-ish thing to this, it would probably a collection of short-stories in a direct continuity to each other. And I'd only do it once I get over my whole 'has-comedy-tag-can't-write-it'-problem that I have going on, and I'd have to do it after Nightbook, because that takes priority.

3485044 I think this works great as a standalone but you're the author, you hold the final say.

Meekoli demands more... In a polite way

First off

"Liberty Belle and Pomegranate". Genius.

Second, I'm honestly awed by your writing. Despite the fact there's not much actually happening, story-wise, just this pure insight into Babs' mind is amazing. You've really fleshed out her character with this one, and I honestly hope you write about her again some day.

3883358 I'll write another purely padded Babs story if I get hit with another good idea for one. I enjoy experimenting with premises too much to just churn out fic after fic. :eeyup:

4057642 Thanks.

I have to say that The Broken Boundary is something of a sequel. It plays in the same verse, some time after this, but I didn't tag it because this here was more of a first time experience for writing her. Like a prototype, I guess. :twilightblush:

Also, putting how I think her life in Manehattan is into words was just plain fun. :rainbowwild:

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