Confessing Changelings
Rarity stands there shocked as she sees Applejack standing before her.
"A-Applejack, what brings you here?" Rarity asked as Applejack dug into her saddlebag.
"This fell out of yer bag at the farm," Applejack said as she pulled out Rarity's notebook.
Rarity's eyes widened with fear as she took it back. "Thank you, I thought I'd lost it somewhere else," Rarity replied as she tried to rush the conversation.
"May I come in, Rarity?" Applejack asked, her voice heavy and serious.
Rarity darted her eyes, trying to think of a reason to decline. "I would love to have you, darling, but I must get to work on Sapphire Shore's dress," Rarity replied as she tried to shut the door.
"Please, Rare, it's important," Applejack said while taking off her hat.
Rarity sighed as she widened the door. "Come in," she said.
Applejack made her way into Rarity's house and waited for her to close the door.
"I wanted to talk to you about what you asked me at the farm, I didn't mean to make ya cry like that," Applejack said as Rarity looked at her.
"It's fine, Aj, I was just asking if it were possible so I could comfort Sweetie Belle, but I know that it might not be," Rarity replied, anger starting to creep into her voice.
Applejack looked down as she sighed. "I think you're not just askin' for Sweetie Belle's sake," Applejack replied, causing Rarity to get nervous
"W-what makes you say that?" Rarity asked, her eyes darting left and right.
"Rarity, are you a changeling?" Applejack asked as Rarity's eyes widened.
"Heaven's no, what makes you ask that?" Rarity asked as she chuckled, hoping Applejack would buy it.
Applejack looked at Rarity and raised an eyebrow. Rarity, you should know by now you can't lie to me," Applejack said as Rarity sighed.
"Fine. I'm just lucky Sweetie is at a sleepover," she said as she enveloped herself in green fire and dropped her disguise. "How did you know?" She asked.
"When you ran off crying and accidentally dropped your notebook, it fell open and I saw what you had written," Applejack said as she looked down.
"YOU READ MY PRIVATE THOUGHTS?!!" Rarity yelled out, offended that one of her closest friends would do such a thing.
"I'm sorry, Rarity, but let me explain," Applejack said.
"You explained enough, you think us changelings are just as you put it " yellow bellies, I want you out of my…."
As Rarity was talking, Applejack enveloped herself in green fire revealing herself as a changeling too.
Rarity's mouth stood agape as Applejack looked at her with tears in her eyes. "I thought I was the only one," Applejack said as her friend found herself at a loss for words.
Rarity shook off her shock. "Y-you're a changeling too?" She asked as Applejack nodded.
"I am, and I do think ponies can become friends with us," Applejack replied as she looked down.
"But why were you so harsh when I asked you if changelings could be befriended?" Rarity asked.
"Because I hate that I have to hide just so I don't scare anypony, that I have to keep this secret from mah own family that took me in so many years ago," Applejack said as she began to cry.
Rarity levitated a tissue over to Applejack so she could wipe her tears. "That's why I was asking, I too hate to be in a disguise all the time," Rarity said as Applejack took the tissue and blew her nose.
"Judging by what you have written down, it seems the negatives outweigh the positives," Applejack said as Rarity sat next to her.
"Unfortunately yes, there are valid reasons, but it's just mostly out of fear that nopony wants to think about the possibility of becoming friends with changelings," Rarity said as she put a hoof on Applejack's shoulder.
"Yeah," Applejack replied. "The only pony that seems really keen on the idea is Pinkie Pie," Applejack said.
"Yeah," Rarity replied as she started to giggle. "Can you believe she thinks we can actually use love as an ingredient in cooking or baking?" Rarity asked, making Applejack smile.
"Yeah, I would say that's just Pinkie being Pinkie if she wasn't right," Applejack replied, causing Rarity to drop her jaw in shock again.
"You mean it's true?" Rarity asked, surprised that changelings could use their love as an ingredient.
"Oh yes, we can literally infuse the love we gather and infuse it into any edible or craft, like your sewing," Applejack replied as Rarity fell silent in thought. "You really didn't know?" Applejack asked as Rarity sheepishly grinned.
"I just thought it was skill," Rarity replied.
"It still is, but with added flare so to speak," Applejack reassured her as she smiled.
Rarity sighed as she looked down. "So what do you think we should do?" Rarity asked, scared knowing that she may already know the answer.
"I think we should remain hidden, at least for a while, with Chrysalis still out there, ponies are fearful of us, the fact that we can bear elements of harmony might be enough to persuade them, but fear is an ugly disease, and equal in power to love," Applejack said as Rarity nodded.
"I was afraid you were going to say that, but I agree with you," Rarity replied as she looked at her notes.
"I would put those somewhere safe so nopony can see them," Applejack said as Rarity looked at her.
"I'll do just that," Rarity replied.
Rarity started to tear up again, Applejack seeing this came up and hugged her.
"I know you wanted to come out, I do too, but now is not the right time, but at least we have each other now," Applejack said as Rarity smiled.
"I guess that's true, hiding this secret will be a lot easier now," Rarity replied as Applejack continued to hug her.
Breaking the hug, Applejack put on her disguise again. "I hate to go, but I gotta get back to the farm, gotta get up early, but if you ever need to talk, just let me know," Applejack said as Rarity nodded and put on her disguise.
"I will, darling, be safe going back," Rarity replied as she escorted Applejack out the door.
Once Applejack left, Rarity went upstairs and sat her notebook down on the table, after debating on what to do she opened a little safe she had hidden under her desk, after putting in the code she opened the safe and put her notebook inside before sealing it shut with a smile on her face.
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Edit: Good story. Will there be a sequel?
Yeah was a good story, not a fan of the ending tho. Story felt real cheapened, and kind of a cop out. Felt like we were building up to a nice confrontation and maybe a nice wholesome ending or even a bittersweet finale but...yeah ending was completely out of left field and just put a wet blanket on the rest of the story. Thanks for the effort and appreciate the horse words.
11707993
Glad you liked it, and it's up to the commissioner
This clearly wasn't expected, it didn't even crossed my mind, so great job on that! However, it does feel like a sequel or a part two would be needed. Its hard to think that it just ends like this. You can end it there, of course, but it leaves me with wanting to see what the other's reactions would be.
Twist ending.
Oh? That's it? It's complete? This is the extent you feel like pushing your commission story? Ok then. . .
But hey, maybe a quick epilogue could be in the books if inspiration strikes and it fits. Then it'll feel complete imo. 🙂
(Yeah I kinda agree it did feel like a cheap, out-of-left-field way to resolve the story, making AJ another Changeling, especially as there was no hint or foreshadowing of a secret held by another. But it's not bad, and you worked with it well regardless.)
Wait what are with the sex and profanity tags?
11708034
All depends on the commissioner. If they want more I'll write more, the only time I went against their order was when I changed the order.
They wanted the order to be.
Twilight
Rainbow Dash
Fluttershy
Pinkie Pie
Applejack
Celestia
Luna
Cadance and Shining.
But I am glad you liked it
11708052
Must of accidentally put sex as a tag, the profsnity was in case any curse words came up
what a surprising twist and kinda ironic for Aj
Everyone is changeling!
I was not expecting Applejack as a changeling. I am upset of how the story ended with Rarity not revealing her secret to her friends, but in the end it was still a great story to read.
11708034
the idea if Applejack being a changeling was a suggestion on Applefai part.
(I thought I'd ask. Do you want a happy ending where she does reveal herself? Or a bleak ending where she remains hidden, but finds another changeling who is hiding in Ponyville?)
and I pick Applejack to be the other changeling, Applejack chapter was her talking about herself, being rise by the apples made her value honest and good hard work, things her kind wouldn't do, making her ashamed of herself. and it probably feel quick because of the ordering, Applejack wasn't suppose to be last, (Applefai reply to you with the right order.) she was suppose figure out Rarity was a changeling by talking to the other girls and getting theirs answers as well, pieces two and two together, but Applefai really wanted to do it this way, and i like to make my commission fun for both party's, so why did this.
I absolutely loved this story... until this chapter. I really don't like this chapter. There's this great buildup which fizzles out into nothing.
Not sure how I feel about AJ being a changeling but I definitely do not like Rarity not having come out to at least some of her friends and most importantly, her sister.
It was going good but the ending was uh...... yeah
This ending could have worked if we'd gotten more time with Applejack, either from her perspective or Rarity spending more time with her. The way this story ended is like getting on a rollercoaster. Watching the ground get further and further away as you're carried up a hill. Then at the top of the hill and you're anticipating the drop down again, the ride stops and you're told to get off. It's an anticlimax.
Can't really fault you for it since it's what your commissioner wanted but it's just so disappointing.
This story is amazing I was thinking of leaving FIM fiction because I was having a hard time finding anything good but this made me stay i would love to see what happens next.
11708305
Oh, there are plenty of great stories left to read. No one person can hope to read everything worthwhile within a lifetime.
Well, that was a fun trip. I actually laughed at the reveal line because of how out of left field it was.
I was really loving this fic. Right up until this chapter. After all this build up that’s all we get? Applejack is randomly a changeling too, and convinced Rarity not to reveal? End of fic? The reveal was what I, and it seems like many others, was most excited for. Not to mention the fact that revealing another of Rarity’s friends as a changeling cheapens the drama of her entire situation. The idea was she was a lone changeling among ponies trying to decide whether to out herself. Applejack being one too, especially with no build up or foreshadowing, cheapens the story.
I understand this is what your commissioner wanted for an ending, but it just feels like a cheap cop-out. Good idea, well written, disappointing anti-climactic ending.
That said, I do like your work and I hope you keep writing.
Ticked every cliché on a list I hope exists. Passable. Predictable. Enjoyable... in a way. It is not what I would call rememberable... perhaps lasting would be the word I want?
I truly hope the commissioner got exactly what he wanted.
As everyone else has said, this story started out really good and had a unique premise, but this final chapter sours it completely. It felt like it was being built up to something grand and maybe bittersweet with Rarity's friends and family being divided on how to feel about one of their closest loved ones is a changeling. Instead, the story just feels like it had to quickly wrap up everything in a rushed manner with no real sense of a conclusion. Rarity having to stay hidden isn't the main issue. No, the main issue is the twist with Applejack as a changeling too. It's so out of left field that it feels like it comes from an entirely different field. It's just a massive cop out and you're left unsatisfied.
Let me make it clear that it's nothing against the author of the story. I think the commissioner of this story just couldn't think of an ending or where else to take this story and just had to quickly end it. It's a shame that this final chapter soured what was a promising story. Hopefully, you or someone else commissions you for a sequel and proper ending to this story.
11708829
wow so many people feel the same way about this, that's upsetting, I thought it turn out great, but then again I knew everything that was going to happen, everything that happen was planned, Applejack was always going to be a changeling and Rarity was going to keep her secret hidden, i guess it was our execution of these elements, that people didn't like. well sorry you guys didn't like what we cook up.
11708849
Hopefully, next comm might be better, but I don't know why hints of Aj being a changeling would be needed, in my head, they'd try to be as inconspicuous as possible while trying to hide. But that's just me, I figured the ending of Applejack's conversation with Rarity would have been a good hint, but perhaps too subtle
We didn't get at all into how either Rarity or Applejack got into their situations, which don't seem normal at all. I mean, there are a number of different ways it could happen. It would have been funny if Rarity's reaction was like, "What have you don't with the real Applejack?" I mean, for all she knows AJ could be hanging in a pod somewhere.
Is anypony in this town NOT a changeling? Show of hooves.
11708863
same, though it would been like, on there first read, wow Applejack really aggressive towards changeling, then after finding out she was a changeling too, her reaction in her chapter would have made more sense, (is there a word for this technique, I'm curious). But like i said, that's because we knew where we we're going with this, everyone else thought we we're going somewhere else with this, so in a way this was like a big misunderstanding between us and our readers, and I can only think that it's our fault because of our execution.
11709211
I wouldn't know the technique. I also wouldn't really blame anyone, even ourselves, we can only try to do better
11708172
This makes Applejacks response make a bit more sense to me. And the ending DOES make it quite unique. I seriously wasn't expecting it, and I guess it partially makes sense why now.
11709964
I wasn't thinking about doing a sequel for this story, but seeing how many people we're interested in this makes me want to do it, if people really want to see a sequel for this story, i'll commission Applefai for it
11708849
It's not that we, or rather its not like I didn’t like the story... but applejack of all pon... changelings telling her not to reveal feels wrong. And all that buildup DOES make this feel out of place, and makes much of what was here rather... wasteful, for lack of a better word.
Now I wonder if Applejack would actually tell Rarity to tell the truth to her friends... ah, well. It is what it is.
Either way, it was worth reading to me.
But this does FEEL like it needs a second story.
11709982
It's up to you, not us. You could also simply see if you can patch it up or leave it as is for a unique experience.
But yes... it would be nice to have one.
11709986
the key to that is timing, she said not now, she didn't say never.
11709993
Fair.
As for the possibility of a sequel. It would be nice though. This was quite good, and it has the makings of a decent series. But what I mean to say is: no pressure. Don't feel pressured to do so.
A bit of a twist ending, but an interesting exploration of changeling post S2, and a pleasant read. I would have like maybe a bit more foreshadowing, but given the short format of the chapters, I understand it might not have been feasible.
I'll join the other comments in saying that there's potential for a sequel. This ending does beg for a little more after...
Wait it's over?!
11708907
Maybe the changeling replaced Applejack back when she was a filly.
11729946
Which is amusing because that's typically how the changelings operate in the Scottish myths, replacing newborns and leaving their own disguised as the newborn for the parents to dote on and feed love to.
Oooh, did not see that coming, nice!