Twilght's Take
The next morning, Rarity awakes to the glistening sun shining through her shutters, she lets out a yawn as she hobbies out of bed and walks downstairs to start cooking breakfast. She fries up a couple of eggs and toasts some bread for her and Sweetie Belle.
After she makes breakfast, she heads upstairs and pokes her head into her sister's room, seeing her sound asleep. Rarity almost doesn't want to wake her up, but knows she has to go to school, she approaches the bed and gently nudges Sweetie's shoulder. "Sweetie Belle, time to get ready for school," she chimed as Sweetie moaned and rolled out of bed.
The two head down to eat breakfast, sitting at the table Rarity watches the clock like a hawk, anxious about talking to Twilight.
"Are you ok, Rarity? You seem nervous," Sweetie Belle asked as she ate her eggs.
Snapping back into reality, Rarity looked at her sister. "Oh, yes darling, I'm fine, just going to have a café rendezvous with Twilight at noon to discuss some important matters," Rarity replied as she finished off her breakfast.
After breakfast, Rarity saw Sweetie Belle off to school, watching as she ran off with her friends. Rarity then used her time to work on some projects, filling in some orders that were delayed for some time. Once noon arrives, Rarity goes to the café and waits for Twilight.
Rarity sits at the café in Ponyville waiting for her friend to show up, she had been struggling with this particular personal dilemma for quite some time now and could really use an answer.
After a few minutes, Twilight finally arrived and sat at the table with Rarity. "Hey, Rarity. What did you want to talk about?" Twilight asked as she picked up a menu and ordered a coffee.
Rarity does the same as she sits there, pondering on how to bring up the subject, it had been a couple of months since it happened, but the scars are still fresh.
"I just wanted to talk, catch up with you. Oh by the way I've almost finished the dress that you ordered," Rarity said as the waiter brought them their coffees.
"Oh, that's good. I look forward to seeing what you've done for me, Twilight replied as she picked up her coffee in her magic and took a sip.
Rarity does the same as she starts to calm down a bit, debating on how she should approach this, she is tired of hiding this secret and wants to come clean, but given what happened at Canterlot, she is unsure.
"Twilight, darling. I do have a question for you, I just hope you don't mind," Rarity says as she looks into her black coffee, her reflection staring back at her.
Twilight looks at her friend, unburdened by what secret Rarity has to keep, not just for her safety, but her whole family's. "What is it, Rarity?" Twilight asked.
Rarity looks up as she takes a deep breath to prepare herself. "What do you think about the changelings and do you think that you could be friends with one?" Rarity asked, her heart pounding in her chest as she awaits Twilight's answer.
Twilight takes a deep breath as she answers, a bit of sadness in her voice as she looks at Rarity. "I don't think those monsters can ever be befriended, even if they could. I can't forgive them for what they did to Celestia, Cadence, and my brother," Twilight said, causing Rarity's ears to droop down.
"Oh, I see," Rarity said as she looked down at her coffee. Rarity tries to think of another question but can't, she had hoped that her most studious friend wouldn't be so closed-minded, so she was a bit in shock.
"Why do you ask, Rarity, if you don't mind me asking?" Twilight asked.
"The whole ordeal kind of scared Sweetie Belle, and I told her that I'd protect her. Then I just thought maybe they can be befriended," Rarity replied as she sipped her coffee.
Twilight smiled as she gave a slight nod. "That's very sweet of you, Rarity, but I highly doubt they'll listen to reason," the purple unicorn said as she finished her cup of coffee and placed some bits on the table.
"I know, it's just a thought," Rarity replied as she took out her bits and paid for her coffee.
"So is that all you wanted to talk to me about or was there anything else you wanted to discuss with me?" Twilight asked, prompting Rarity to shake her head.
"That's all, darling. Thank you for lending me your ear and picking your brain for a bit," Rarity said as she trotted off.
"Anytime, Rarity," Twilight replied as she waved her friend goodbye.
As Rarity trotted down the road, she took out a notepad from her saddlebag and began to write.
Twilight: is highly doubtful about the possibility of befriending the changelings and is livid for what Chrysalis did to her brother along with Celestia and Cadence. I don't blame her though, it was her family that was messed with.
Rarity wrote down as she walked down the street. Once she finished, she put the notebook back in her saddlebag and took a break by sitting on one of the benches in Ponyville.
Taking a deep breath she stills herself for what her other friends might say. As she sits on the bench she looks up in the sky, she smiles as the warm glow of the sun bathes her in its warm embrace.
"I know it might be fruitless, but I can still ask, I'm sure some of my friends will not mind," Rarity says to herself as she sees a rainbow blur fly across the sky.
Rarity chuckles to herself as she hops off the bench. "I wonder who that is," she sarcastically says to herself as she walks towards her destination.
She manages to catch up to Rainbow at the Ponyville tavern. "Of course," Rarity says to herself as she heads inside.
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nicely done!
11669912
Thank you
11669990
Youre welcome
Awe. Poor Rarity wanting to come clean, but terrified to do so. Looking forward to seeing how you explore this with her other friends.
11669882
The Elements do not react to their weilders until used. Just jewelry until then.
What you are suggesting is that they trust a changeling, that they have no reason to trust, with one of the Elements; that they need for an unrelated crisis or B to zap the changeling with. Now before that last idea sounds like a winner it has never been confirmed that the mane six can choose what they do...
A more logical response from everypony would be to lock her up. With the possible exception of The Royal Sisters the general public has no idea whether a changeling has the capability to be anything but evil. We are more likely to see investigations, interrogations and expeditions to locate the real Rarity. (Harmony help her if she based her form off of a real pony and they find her instead; which would actually be rather funny).
Hmmm, one Q would be why Rarity wasn't revealed when the 'love shove' happened ... plus the reveal this close to the wedding might be a bit raw for some ...
Though waiting for Spike/Thorax/Crystal Empire to happen before revealing herself is an option ...
Seems a touch out of character for Twilight to dismiss a whole species as unbefriendable out of hoof, but I suppose it's necessary for the intended plot.
11701774
It certainly seems out of character after the later seasons, but it was a plot pointthat I'd hardly call character assassination in an actual episode set much longer after the invasion, so in this context I'd hardly call it out of character.
There's a lot of present tense in your writing that does not match the perspective.
Here it would be "After she made breakfast.." rather than "After she makes breakfast...", since it has already happened. Though if you want expand the context slightly you can also do: "After she finished making breakfast..."
In general third person perspective is written in past tense, not pressent; though there can be exceptions.
I recommend reading your writing out loud, that way you can hear if something sounds good, wrong, or clunky.
Good luck, the premise of this story holds promise.
Hey! A pretty cool story and the best part? Constructive criticism! People take if for granted but it's one of if the best way to make your skills more refined and better, so take it with pride my friend!